Never get tired of that feeling and conditioning

[SuperJunky]

It doesn't matter how many times I inject myself w/ heroin, I never ever get tired of that feeling. I cant even fathom how many times I've shot up over the last few years, it really mind boggling. I figure 4 years times 365 days times twice a day, that's at least 2920, and that's just a super conservative estimate. I usually get sick of things and rotate my interests regularly, but this one I never get tired of. I would ask why but I know, #1 I'm an addict and addicts rarely get tired of their DOC. How many cigarettes does a smoker smoke w/out getting tired of them? And then how long do they continue to smoke after that? I know the underlying cause of my tireless love affair w/ opies is simply because I'm pushing the button in my brain that automatically activates the reward circuit, thus hard-wiring my brain to love the feeling.

Dose any one think its possible to condition your self to enjoy Withdrawal? You know, like Pablo's dog? What if you waited until you were in WD before you took your shot, and always waited until you were in WD. I don't mean just a little bit of a runny nose or watery eyes, actual full blown diaria, aching back, restless legs, bugs crawling under your skin throwing up curled up in the fetal position twitching WD. Every single time you did a shot. Could your brain possibly associate that level of pain and general dysphoria w/ the pleasure the shot of dope brings afterwards? This is all pointless speculation, I doubt any one has the self control to do this, and I'm sure a lot of us here have had experiences where they basically did this because of money and or supply issues forcing you to have good (or would they be bad? yeah, bad, but what I was getting @ was long) gaps in between their doses. I had a friend that used just enough to keep himself in constant WD for 3 months or so, he ended up no longer being physically dependant but in rehab were they put him on subs until he did have a habit, then detoxed him cold turkey from 4 mgs, the lowest dose they said they could legally prescribe (pure BS I know).

I did dope almost everyday for a year straight before I picked up my first habit. I think the reason I managed to pull this off while I've seen other people pick up there first habit in a week is because I was constantly on DXM, or to a lesser extent, the one week I wasn't on DXM, I was on Ketamine. Dissosociatives definitely screw w/ this conditioning system. I didn't use every single day, but I'd say I used an average of 5/7 days of the week. I didn't pick up the first habit until I quit using DXM almost daily for about a month, then that damn monkey managed to stop running around my feet and climb on up on my back. How long did it take you guys and gals to pick up your first habit, not addicted psychologically but physically? I know my experience is very rare but a couple friends of mine went down this road w/ me and they didn't pick up habits either until the almost constant DXM binging ended.

[devilsdrug]

i had forced wds so many times , i began to get use to it , i had myself convinced they got easier

[youwonhundred]

Originally Posted by devilsdrug

i had forced wds so many times , i began to get use to it , i had myself convinced they got easier

Hell, maybe you're right, in the sense that, with chronic pain for example, while it does not get any less painful as time goes by, you learn to deal with it, and accept its inevitability, and thereby condition your body to accept the painful/unpleasant stimuli as "normal". For this one, I gotta rip off a House quote. "Normal is not normal, if you're not normal."

Im sorry if that sentence didn't make as much sense as it does in my head. I haven't been to sleep yet and its rollin on toward 8 am.

[devilsdrug]

eggactly-------------

[Duckfeet]

I don't know. I think u just get in the life 24/7, and ur not that happy *any* time, so ur slightly sick, bod's always in get loaded/get sick mode, and it's not *that* big a deal, to start kicking. I guess I function all right when that is going on...but on the other hand, just cuz I"m used to it, doesn't mean it's good. Just makes me less inclined to bullshit myself and "pretend" u know. I won't pretend until the last minute that I'm "kicking," when I know good and well when it gets bad I'll be running downtown to get right. I think hardest part for this old junky is just to not deceve myself, to know when it's something that really is going to happen, and something that isn't. It's a tough deal, not for lightweights....

[blackdog]

BUT COME ON GUYS AND GALS!!!!
ya learn ta deal with it
ya learn ta get used to it
your both correct but i think what it all comes down to is mind control .
I've seen some peep's work themselve up into such a sick that ya wouldn't believe.
hell i've been there done that. not anymore though! I remember heading into the bronx and just hearing the noise of the bridges as i crossed them got me swallowing my saliva and good thing i had them plastic bags, cause just them noises and smells would work me up into such antcipation and withdrawel at the same time
awww helll what was we talkin bout?damn!!
dawgg

[nick]

mind control ummmm.

[robojunkie]

I just saw this and put 3-4 days. I assume that means what it means and not like "how long did it take you to catch a habit?" I didn't get truly dependent for a number of months in the beginning, but the few times (very few) over the years where I was straight (not 12 step straight, just to clarify, just no opiates) for more than a couple of weeks after finishing WD's it only took 3 days of good shit for me to wake up day 4 wishing I had a wake up or skipped day 3...but hey day 4 wake up was a hell of lot better than day 400 wake up! Without, that is.

[southernbelle]

Are we talking about heroin, or pills? I assumed pills, so I put 1 year. That was 1 year of daily use and when I ran out, ewww, withdrawal.....Sometimes I wish I'd never discovered pills, but then I'm so happy I've got them as well. Make sense?

[SuperJunky]

Its not really specific, I was referring to H, I picked up and dropped an extremly small oxy habit at about 14 w/ out really sufferianng any real consequences so I dont really count that, but if I had kept going w/ them and moved to something stronger than pers and oc10s I would probably cout it. What ever your opiate of choice is, is what its referring to. And its all about physical dependance, not mental etc.

[Dolophine]

I'm not really sure when I became dependent I had a pretty endless supply of drugs so I never really stopped for longer than a day or 2. I honestly can't say. I've only been dopesick maybe 1-3 times in my life. I got pretty dopesick after stopping a small Oxy habit I was sick for about a week or so I didn't vomit though. I just felt very antisocial and cold and goosebumps, diarhea etc. I felt really out of it. The other 2 times were with Methadone but they weren't that bad. Could've been worse.

[is_today_monday]

I put two months. My reason for that is, I was in hospital for two months, and another girl there was given oxycontin for pain relief after surgery, etc. She didn't want them though, so I ended up scoring these pills, multiple times a day, for about six weeks. When I got out of hospital, I obviously wasn't scoring her pills anymore, and ended up going through withdrawals. That's when I knew I had a physical dependence. Took me longer to accept that fact though. After that, I just kept going!

Funny thing was, I'd been a user for a few years previously, just not really with opiates. I messed around with codeine and tramadol, but never picked up a physical addiction to it. I knew I loved opiates though, and when this girl offered her Oxy, I just couldn't refuse.

My psychologist at the drug clinic who I'd been seeing for a while was disgusted, not that I picked up a habit, but that I picked it up in hospital where these things shouldn't happen. Duty of care shit and all that.

I dare say I would have found my way into the good stuff anyway, just through different ways

[Saint]

Started out with speed, then coke and afterwards sniffing heroine to calm things down. Then only heroine IV. Once a week at first, then twice, then almost daily and one day you just wake up feeling sick as a dog. Simple as that. That took me almost a year. Then methadone came in my life and habit became forever I guess. Still on it after 23 years.

[kazman32]

I got really hooked about 3 yrs ago, pec surgery,2 hernia's fixed and 2 wisdom teeth pulled within a 3 month peroid I was on vics and percs constatly,,,I have used for proabably around 10-15 years but really 'hardcore; the last 3, was mail ordering norco's after I drained all my refills, then met an oxy dealer and all hell broke loose.

[GoddessofRATs]

Well hmmm, i started getting into Oppies about 15 years ago but never got addicted till about 2 years ago. Prior to that i didn't have access to all these pills like i started to 2 years ago, so i guess you could say i chipped until 2 years ago, well lets say 3 years. I've been addicted to oppies for about 3 years but have been using pills for 15 years- Crazy.

It's a complicated question and the answer is different for everyone.

Gosh, i remember when 1 vicodin 5's would get me higher than a kite. Now...6-7 couldn't get me high. Shoot, i have to take 5 MS contins 30 mgs to get high now. It's amazing how that happens before your eyes without really noticing.

I'll blink my eyes and 5 30 mgs won't be enough.

But, it's not only the high i am addicted to it's the 'normal' i am addicted to... these pills make me feel 'normal', does that make sense?

GOR