Thank you to eveyone for your help, I did kick CT, no use, other then one drinking bing whith made me feel worst of course, and ya it was hard, and I felt like I was in hell, I sarted getting better but it took a month, really 2 months to "feel" right. Now I know it can be done with out help form other drugs or taper, not saing that eveyone can do want I did, but I know it will not kill you, every thought you might wish I would at times, lol..Now eveythings better, work, family, no drugs. Now I just deal with the pain cause I think years of use to cover it up I feel a odd need to feel it. Sorry not to keep you all poste but have not been on for awhile. Once I had made up my mind 100% that was all it really took for me. I might not be the best person to be around or talk to at times, but thats also part of life I think. Once more thank you all.