so, its been two weeks of pure hell. Not able to take it anymore, I reached out to my doctor and therapist.
My taper was not done properly, which really pisses me off. I worked over the past year and a half to come off. The nurses told me that by the time I go to ten mg, that it wouldnt be doing anything for me, and any feeling of discomfort would be in my head. They advised me to take my last two doses at 10mg, then leave. Mind you, there was no exit interview with the doctor, nor had my worker seen me once during my taper to see how things were. I saw him the day I left, and he didnt prepare me for any of this. I wasnt even told the half life of the meds, and how I would feel over the next few weeks.
at first I was feeling really good about it, the first week went as I expected. This past week I got gradually worse. I remember withdrawal very well, and this has been surreal. After almost collapsing at work (50 -60 hours weeks) I swallowed my pride and started making calls to everyone under the sun for help.
I mentioned in my other thread, this is the first tiime in a long time where i have entertained sticking a needle back in my beautifully healed arms... (i have veins back, and after much use and abuse, even the tracks have faded to where I can wear tshirts again)
My primary doctor told me to increase my kpins. He isnt able to scribe subtex. The clinic said they would re=evauluate me, and if they saw fit, put me back on 30, wait three months, then taper me again (big step back).
My therapist just spoke to me and told me the grisly fact that the methadone was stopped at too high a dose. that i was grossly misinformed. She told me it takes two weeks for it to begin leaving my system, and while it would get better, that its not a matter of me being weak but a medical issue that needed to be addressed. She is going to call my doctor tomorrow morning and request he scribe me five mg of methadone a day for a month, the 2.5 for the next month. He is a good doctor, so I can see him doing it. so, i am preying this works out. i cant imagine going back into the clinic. I know doctors dont typically do tapers, but im hoping that because my therapist is making the referal, he will do it.
wish me luck, and never never drop off at 10.