Good question. I really don't know how to answer this one. It seems like when I just KNOW what I want, it turns out I'm wrong.
Thought I wanted to get sober with subs... wrong. Fuckers sucked the soul out of me. Said fuck it, along with other things, and started using again.
Then I thought, hey Methadone might be the answer.
Did that for a good while then decided, on my own, to get off and live the "sober life".
Doing that currently and I fucking hate it. I'd much rather get high, but if history is any kind of lesson... that won't agree with living a productive life.
I don't know what I want, I suppose. I'm an irritable cunt that hates his reality no matter what.