JTDuffet's Methadone Taper Thread

[danny]

respect big balls, i been watching you jealously knowing i got to attempt a similar thing v. soon and hoping that i deal with it with the same fortitude that you and lude have....big up yourself mr. duffet....

[OXYKANTSTOP]

WOW MAN GOOD LUCK AND I HOPE YOU THE BEST,,,,AS I SIT HERE THINKING HOW BADLEY I WANT TO GET OF DONE ALL I CAN SAY IS WOW ..............

[JTDuffet]

Well, i figured i should check in, as i think this is the period that most people are worried about.. the actuall stopping of the methadone and walking away as the opiates drop out of the system. My friend kept asking me the same question and I kept answering him, only to have him ask me the same question again. So i said, i just told you, and he asks me again... the question?

he asked me how long methadone stays in your system. and I said, its got a 24hr halflife.. period..

and he says, but how long would it last in your system if you were tested? 2 weeks, 30 days? and i said.. it depends on what dose your on.. do the math yourself.. (and this guy is a bright guy mind you).

i said.. i was on 1 mg yesterday, so at BEST, i've got 1/2 mg in my 24 hours later, ie tomorrow. and then 1/4 after that.. you can switch to decimal for easiest smaller incremements but you get the picture. obviously this is a way oversimplified way of looking at it as half life is 1 factor, metabolism another, some meds, etc, etc.. anyway...

as for me.. today i am feeling the drop to zero today... its a little more intense than it was yesterday, BUT... as i have been in constant minor w/d for the last couple days anyway, this day isn't that much worse than the previous... except for a few hot flashes i had, and the headache.. but hadn't i been saying that for days now? maybe weeks.. the whole point of the slow taper is to give the brain/body time to recovery... SLOWLY... so that even when you stop the done your still feeling as good as you can at the levels your at...

so, its a little bit more intense feeling.. the weird hazy, electrical numbing of the forehead, top of the head, and some around the tongue and mouth.. i was trying to analize how i would describe a true w/d feeling...

as for how i feel overall? i was feeling well enough today to make pizza for lunch, then made beef stew and had 2 bowls. did some pushups.. and was contemplating going to the store for some hardware for the other room.. keeping busy.

and burning burning burning.. it helps to some degree, but just keeping busy is the best idea for me now... will post back tonight, and then tomorrow as this progresses.

-jt

[LayinLow]

JTD - do you feel as if you're drawing it out a little? I mean, if someone has the means, defiantly go all the way down to 1mg. I was just wondering if you think you would have avoided a little w/d (long term) if you jumped at 9 or 10mg? Well, now that I type it out, 10mg would probably be a bitch to jump at. I think you know where I'm going with this. Like a little rougher w/d jumping at 9 or 10, but maybe it would be better than drawn out w/d down to zero?
+1 on the great job my man

[JTDuffet]

Hey guys, checking in on day 2 of no done.. tomorrow morning when i get up will be 72 hours after last dose.. so far so good.. i have to say this has been the easiest kick i have ever gone through.. im not having gi issues, i can eat and have been nonstop, feel almost sick free aside from the minor anxiety that came on last nite and into the morning. my friend came over again today and we burned some bowls, im in good spirits... and tomorrow i have to hit the bank and meet a friend to pick up a QP.. so needless to say i am handling this one a lot better. thats due to all the practice and slow tapering process has made the end a bit easier than i expected...

im heading to bed, but figured you'd all like to know how things are going. i dropped in multiple times per day but no updates so i finally bit the bullet and am posting.

OL, if your around, drop by and say hello.... im almost there.. almost at 3 days into the kick...

-jt

[port rhombus]

tomorrow morning when i get up will be 72 hours after last dose.. so far so good.. i have to say this has been the easiest kick i have ever gone through.

*high five*
I hope things keep looking up for ya.

i have to hit the bank and meet a friend to pick up a QP.

Fingers... QPs...

<-- slow to pick up on the double entendre in your sig.

[JTDuffet]

ok, maybe i spoke a little too soon last nite.. i ended up having a little bit of a tough time falling asleep due to anxiety.. you know the kind where you can't get any calming rest.. and keep twisting and turning, only to twist and turn some more... it wasn't the most restful, but now its morning, and im up.. woke up at 5:15am or so.. and been up since.. im not sure if i feel better today or worse.. i was hoping better... but its been 72 hours since my last dose, and i want to feel good again.

other than that I am doing ok. anxiety is best dealt with by getting up out of bed, took a shower, and now hitting the message boards, smoking some bowls and trying to wake up.. almos ttime for morning coffee...

hang in there people... the taper isn't over until its really over...

-jt

edit: PR, today is just for a QP of kinds only..

[OrangeLude]

hey Bro ...you've done the taper...and you're on the other side of it...into the next chapter.
For me I've found that my existence is better, more carefree and feels better with a nominal degree of chemical balance. I am working on accepting that and not fighting it.
I continue to use very small doses of Kpin or Xanax, smoke daily and am hitting an opi high once a week...far from 'clean' but living a whole lot more manageable than I was 2-3 years ago before my MMT experience...from here it's how I handle this reboot of my life.
My first time of rebooting my life - and I got completely clean I was 28 - it lasted about 4 years. Daughter was born during that time. Been up & down so many times I don't count ny more. On the road back now. With a 9 year at old this time. A hurt and angry separated wife and a career rebuilding.
54 next month..my hope for you JT is that your journey is less of a roller coaster and that you can be one of those lucky ones that kicks and stays kicked...if not we'll be here together. God bless & happy Saturday.

[JTDuffet]

Hi there OL, i am in no position to judge anyone. And i would like to think i was already one of the ones that kicked for life, but after a decade of not using, i just spent the last 3 years on opiates (2+ on H, and 10 months on the done). whatever works for you is whats best.

as for me, nothing is set in stone, and for right now, this is whats best for me. i still have to pay back all the money that i blew keeping the habit going for so long, and I had a lot of ideas and thoughts of things i wanted to do while using, so now i am trying my best to follow through with some of them.. like buying new toys... i want a snowboard setup and outfit, dirtbike, vacations beyond taking a couple days off to sit at home, etc.. we'll see what happens...

as for how im doing. im doing ok, but still feeling alittle weird... my eyes are PINNED still.. whats the deal with that... that just tells me i have more days ahead until completely clean.. with dope, by day 3 your eyes ahve turned into black saucers... me they got smaller today... wtf

anyway.. i need to go out tot he bank, and then meet a friend for some new herb.. i hope its killer. getting a QP... as i am sick of wasting 350 on gardbage..

-jt

---------- Post added at 10:29 AM ---------- Previous post was at 109 AM ----------

I did have a question for you OL... once you reached your jump mark, which i believe was 2mgs, how long did it take before the feelings of w/d went away at least mostly away....?

i was hoping that since i made it down to 1mg for 1 day, that it would clean out of me 100% in 4 days, but maybe that was wishful thinking. ia m thinking that the done accumulates a little more inside us than we think. ive been drinking cranberrry, exercising, eating, etc and the eyes are still pinned, and i still feel that weird electrical feeling in my lips,m mouth, nose, some random sneeze attacks (only 4-5 sneezes max), some general lethargy, and the tight feeling in the nose... which leads to the sneezing i think.

anyway.. i have to go out and deal with some things.. which i knew i would have to do before i started this.. i had hoped to avoid all contact with everyone, but at least it shuold go fairly quick... post back if i get something really nice... with some pictures...

-jt

[hovadagod]

Nice job with your taper. Try taking some passion flower extract for that anxiety. Stuff works very well.

[JTDuffet]

I just got back from my errand.. i tell ya, when your doing stuff, you forget all about the W/Ds.. anywya, i decided to go with 2 Z's instead of the Q as i hadn't bought from this person before, even though it turned out to be a close friend for many years growing up. it is very nice stuff actually.. its a lot like BC bud, for those that know what that stuff looks and smells like.. BUT, the difference is this friend actually grew this stuff and said if im not mistaken it was white rhino...

regardless its a LOT nicer than the crap i've been picking up lately, so it was a welcome'd change... il post some pictures once i pull them from the camera.. i need some lunch...

-jt

[OrangeLude]

yeah JT I jumped from 2mgs and did 0 opi's for almost 2/3 weeks...I lived with headaches - if I was awake I had a headache. That was my syndrome...the weed and Benzo's were enough to get me sleep and rest - melatonin really helped too... I took a little bit of Immodium - Lopermide to keeps the shits and stomach gurgles at a distance -

As you state & make clear note of - there is nothing like a very busy schedule to keep your brain occupied. As I went into training - very intensive filtering process for new job - I was more overwhelmed by the work than by any side effects of no opies....

The concern is that with chipping I am satisfying the source of headaches - it's almost as if I have done damage that reappears every time I get clean and I have not been able to beat the headache syndrome....possible that some type of lo level maintainance is being requested by my brain....

Glad you got some quality herb...I'm a big believer in quality over quantity.

[JTDuffet]

The headaches are the one constant i have noticed for the past week or so.. maybe longer.. once you hit 10 and down, its headaches along with this tension in the nose/bridge of nose area. Right now I am getting a lttle bit of a queasy stomach, but i've been really good these last couple days so far.

I am not sure if its getting more intense, or less right now.. its weird.. but we are now around 80 hours since my last dose and my eyes are still not normal yet.. pupils still on the smaller side, and heaches are fairly strong. i took an asperin but stil have headache.. i sure hope i don't have the same issue your describing for weeks to come.... ill be optimistic, but im already sick of the feelings...

-jt

[JTDuffet]

Well, another day down and just beginning to start to feel a little better. if you can believe it, i still had pinned eyes this morning, then around 3-4 i saw them start to get a little bigger, then settle back to smaller to medium. the headaches are still kind of there, and the overall icky feeling is around today, but again, i was able to cook food, eat, several BMs that are fairly normal at this point, and overall waiting for full recovery.

i have tension and stiffness in the head. around the top and back of, and some in the forehead. but every once in a while out of the blue i will feel a moment of relaxed relief settle in. i can see that the recovery is going to be more gradual that fast like a dope kick recovery cycle. its been 4 days without any methadone so its still in me, just slowly seaping away...

im hanging in there... happy halloween everyone... watching horror movies today...

-jt

[JTDuffet]

Well, its another day, and i have to say, yesterday i felt a litttle bit icky, and last nite i had trouble sleeping. whenever i would get into bed i would get that weird anxiety and i would snap out of it... but since i took 1.5 benadryl tabs, i was tired but couldn't sleep.. this occurred into the evening. around 2am i got up and made some coffee.. then some bowls, and got online, etc. then soon i was drifting a bit.. after the coffee i felt better, and climbed into bed and then woke up at 6.. then back up at 10am..

today i feel a lot more icky... the headache is there, but whats really weird is i woke up with tiny pinned pupils. what gives? im baffled as this is day 5 without methadone, and i left on my last drop dope of 1mg. for the first couple days i felt ok, and actually feel more like w/d sickness a little yesterday but more today. I could be getting a cold on the side and its just confusing the situation, but right now i felt crappy.

managing... i went to the market and got some nice steaks and had one so far. another one for tomorrow as i figure good food is the best cure for my condition.. im also doing some exercising...

ill post back again later, but this day flew by and i still feel like crap and need to work tomorrow..

-jt

[Chipper]

It could take months for your sleep and body temperature to stabilise back to what it was prior to opiates. Well, It did for me, anyway.

It passes quickly because you get a little bit better each day. You've done extremely well.

[JTDuffet]

Seems like this thread is all me these days.. thanks CHipper for the kind words of hope... despite not a lot of posts i see views hitting this so thats good at least.. its why im taking the time to post these updates on a daily basis as I drop to zero and the done wears out....eventually when it feels like it i guess..

as for me.. day 6 complete, and today i still woke up with pinned eyes.. i have a general feeling of crapiness that you would associate with w/d. its not intense, but its there. that fuzzy feeling in the head and chest/body, nervousness, no real cold/hot flashes to speak of. along with the decent sized constant headache, i can still eat normally. although my GI track has made a turn for the worse these last 2 days as the done wears away... i had some non constipated attacks, and today had more, so i broke down and took 2mgs of lope. im trying to avoid lope as it is an opiod and i am try to clean out ASAP...

hopefully i start the real recovery, although this morning was nice for a change. that peaceful feeling stayed with me for a good hour almost... something we forget once on maintenance, or actively using.. waking up sick and having to use... even the done was like that for me at my highest dose of 90, but it was knocking me stilly too, then wearing down quickly and feeling icky the next morning. now i think i wasn't feeling THAT bad.. how could I. now i remember going to the clinic burning bowls, and being a little bit out of it. eyes watering as they were microsized pin slits and light was NOT my friend..

today was a nice experience. my pupils are getting bigger, and more useful. as i was driving to work, i could see the landscaped in 3d passing by, as the trees came into view with all the fall colors and it was really nice... i hate to say it, but I am looking forward to so many things OFF opiates... you don't really notice what it takes away from you, even when your using large amounts on a regular basis. let me give my short list of noticeable changes from using opiates..

1. hearing changes. sounds like cotton balls in the ears.. I'm an active musician, play multiple instruments, but after starting out on H, the music sounded different and i felt more disconnected from it. at this stage of my recovery, i feel like i am playing better than ever, or maybe it just sounds better to me now.. not sure..

2. appearance becomes less clean, less sharp, with dark circles around the eyes, noticeable pinned eyes, a glossy appearance, redness, etc. i would have to use visine several times per day to keep them manageable while at work. color of skin turns more pale without natural glow or color.

3. visual abilities become less cooporative and less useful and accurate. having a retina become so small means less light is coming in, and less detail of viewed images. Larger pupils look more natural, and was a concern for me as I began my daily usage.. noone noticed, but i have darker eyes anyway..

4. calm serenity and a general feeling of being grounded emotionally. this feels best on the mornings when you can sit there and just bask in the relaxation and feelings of peace.

5. After I got on the clinic and after shooting large amounts of dope for 2 years, I took a physical exam bloodwork and the first time in my entire life, i had 2 items show up as ABNORMAL or out of range of their norm.. this was quite shocking to me actually, as I am in decent shape and not out of shape.

I am sure I can come up with some more, but just felt like sharing what i have noticed recently.

-jt

[OrangeLude]

you're far from alone bro. your thread is populated & I'm pulling for you too.

2 months since I left the clinic & I still have nights that I sleep very light no matter that I would take a melatonin, ambien, weed & even benzo. I lay in bed at 430 and fight off an anxiety attack. Mostly if I wake up that early I have been trying exercise or go to work. I haven't had the ambition to be too active in forum discussion ...just where my head has been.

You have been so strong and so courageous - amazingly commendable - as another member said big balls - I know exactly how you feel as you describe it and I hope your journey becomes more comfortable with each day. you get to see all the things and have all the experiences that you missed or dreamed about while using...

Along with your good foods - don't forget protein supplements & lots & lots of fresh water.

[Citrus]

Whats up duder? I'm extremely relieved to hear that your kick is going as well as it is.. Hate to see one of our brethren suffering, at least you're not pouring sweat and shaking like a wet dog. I remember when I came off my suboxone back in May, it took around 40-45 days for my body temp to stabilize, not quite the same as 'done.. But I was having some pretty crazy hot/cold flashes as well as the electricity feeling for quite awhile, and I had jumped off my subs at only less than 1mg. Honestly it sounds like you are doing awesome~! Totally glad to hear that man, for real, I'm sure everyone of us is equally as proud of you.. Just keep it going-- I always comforted myself by saying; It only gets better. You know? It aint like your w/d's are going to intensify.. But I'm sure you already know that!

Keep burning bro-ham, thats one thing I wish I was able to do whilst kickin', but I'm on probation so I cant really be smoking, not yet anyways. I should be off by this summer, hopefully-- at the latest next winter. Anyways, Don't forget to come back an update us(like you haven't been doing a good enough job as is :P) Like I said before man, I'm glad to see you free from the fucked up cycle that is opiates/oids. VM if you want someone to talk to, always here for ya brotha!


BY the way, what happened to the pic's of that new herb you've acquired? Post em up! I can't puff, but sure as hell enjoy looking at some nugs.

[PaythePiper]

Hey man I haven't joined in on your thread here but I've been watching it pretty actively. Anyways I just wanted to say thanks for writing down your experiences. Currently I'm on a pretty high dose of done, but eventually I would like to get off it (even if its another five or more years). Anyways this little "journal" has really helped me so I can be prepared for whats on the road ahead for me.

Personally I think so far you've been kicking some ass and you've got it in you to slay this beast. I'm sure you've got a ways to go still but just so you know you've got people routing for you even it you don't know it. Keep on keeping on!

[JTDuffet]

Here is day 7 coming to a close.. i went to work, and felt a little better, but still feeling the feelings a little.. i also woke up pinned.. BUT, the difference is that when i woke up this morning, i was able to relax and sit in bed for about an hour with lights still off, and didn't feel any anxiety. its a nice feeling.. as for today, i feel so so.. its tought to tell, as I have a slight headcold on top of the kick, so its hard to say whats what..

i feel like it will only be a couple more days before i am fully recovered. on my way home from work tonight i was thinking about the taper. since i went through it slowly over the course of 7 months, i was able to mentally, physically and emotionally adjust to the drops slowly, so that when it came to zero, it wasn't like a kick in the face.. its a long slow drawn out w/d, but not one that would impair anyone anymore than someone doing a chip and feeling icky for a couple days, except that it goes on for 7+ days so far, but again, i want to stress, its not intense at all, just constant and drawn out.. thats my word for it. drawn out.. ;( even if you jump at 10, its drawn out to 12-15 days... just assumptions based on current experience, but i can't imagine getting all the symptoms of a methadone kick all at once. i definitely have respect for everyone whos had to do a c/t kick of done.. I would be thinking of throwing myself off the nearest bridge in that situation...

as for the thread. it will continue on... im doing well. i actually have a followup counselor appt i agreed to go to.. she wants to document the successful kick i think for her notes cause im sure it looks good on her as a patient counselor.. anyway, i'd proud of myself, so i'm actually looking forward to it..

thats all for me.. time for bed... thanks all for your support, and hope you've enjoyed the thread.

-jt

[LayinLow]

You are far from alone, just as OL was saying. I'm reading your thread every time a new post pops up. Right now, I am very interested in reading because I just want to see how long the w/d's last. You say it's constant and drawn out, sometimes those 'minor' w/d symptoms are what are the worst.
I do know you are kicking ass. I was one of the unlucky who has had to cold turkey methadone, twice. The first was at 100+mg, while kicking a pretty big xanax habit at the same time. That was living hell, 2 grand mal seizures, hospital for 4 days , no comfort meds, etc etc. Not something I planned, believe me.
I'm proud of ya JT. What's your plan for the future? Stay clean? Let us know how that little talk with your old counselor goes.
Keep on keepin on

[Dolofinell]

Kicking from where I was at (130) the long , drawn out, annoying, not super intense "gross" feeling lasted damn near 30-45 days.
At 2 weeks I thought, ok its gotta be over soon, then 3wks then 4. Fuck, finally went away at 'bout 6 or 7.

Good luck JT proud of ya hang in there. Keep telling yourself it will be over soon.

Much, much more drawn out than a dope habit, MUCH MORE.

[JTDuffet]

Well, i missed my day 8, so i will post that days musings this morning. yesterday was not bad day after all. i still woke up with the pinne pupils, but thats not really the big deal. my bro busted over in the early am for some kind nugs, then i jumped back into bed, and relaxed until around 8:45 whn i hit the clinic for my appt.
we had a nice chat, and just spoke about things. she was really happy with me and asked if i wanted another appt. i didn't know what to say.. im off the clinic, i don't need to go there anymore, yet i scheduled another appt for next month. oh well, i can always cancel.

as for how i felt. i was ok, i felt a little better, but i still feel that tinge at times, then it fades, then returns.. again, since i have a slight headcold at the same time which can feel a little icky too, its hard to say how i feel but overall its getting easier. feeling good, and a little better every day...

-jt

[hydro chris]

hey buddy,thats awsome.... ill be two weeks in no time.. and the shitty feelings will fade .just hang in
there and enjoy it

[JTDuffet]

Just a quick update on friday nite, my ninth day off the done. i felt a little better today, had a good day at work, and am relaxing with some bowls.. i do have some issue though.. i think some punks must of put poison ivy on some of the local mailboxes in the neighborhood as a praink... why you ask? cause i was at work and i noticed a bad itching on my hand/wrist area, and sure enough i have a bright red raised line across there and its leaking oozing a tiny bit and raised and red and itchy.

i am thinking they did a quick rub on the top part of the mailbox so that when you reach in and let the lid fall on you, you get rubbed with the crap.. i haven't been out gardening, or outside at ALL these last couple days, but i did check my mail yesterday and i recall the mailbox falling down across my hand and me twisting into it to grab the mail. takes up to 2 days to see symptoms sometimes. im not sure, but if i'm right, its insane.. im being careful, and tomorrow i plan to use hand cleaning alcohol gel to remove any oils left.. i might be crazy but have no idea where i could get poison ivy from.. but it was just halloween, and i do/did check my mail daily. ill keep ya posted on if it gets worse, and is def. the ivy, but it looks just like it to me.

-jt

[duck]

Yeah man I totally sympathize with the *tinge* of wd that long outlasts the immediate symptoms...I remember messaging Thanatos last winter a few weeks after kicking asking WHEN the tinge went away, as he had just been through a bit of a kick if I recall.

You are a great inspiration! You're doing fucking great man.

[OrangeLude]

JT - keep rocking the 'phile world with your hard work & perseverance.

Much props to you. Each day getting a little bit better. I am very fortunate to be off the done - I physically have a much better feeling in general through the day... two months since leaving the clinic environment I trouble myself with the fact that I am still maintaining my life chemically...whether its daily weed, benzo or a weekly (trending to more often - slippery slope) opi intake..my emotional state feels more like indecision than the commitment to be 'clean & sober'...I still have a very hard time focusing and my ability to be motivated or to feel motivated comes goes...

I am really glad you have come this far and pulling for you on each step.

[JTDuffet]

today is the 11th day off done and so far so good.. the emotions are returning with a vengeance and its slow to recovery on the happy feelings, but hanging in... i can see why a lot of people relapse after they get clean cause you feel everything again.. still managing though.

as for w/ds.. they are slowly passing but i wanted to make a comment. i took 8mgs of immodiom on friday and saturday my eyes were pinned anbd i felt crappy for 2 days again.. i believe it set me back a day or so on the recovery, so i switcged to pepto from immodium. i read an article where they said that a small amount passes the bbb and a test conducted on mice showed physical dependence to it.. which i think we all already knew...

just some thouights... relaxing and thats it for me...

-jt

[duck]

Im a bit curious about your opinion on bow your pinned eyes are relAted to withdrawal/immodium? stay strong man.