Going to get "the script"

[GMorris]

Hi all,

I just want to relate this little story, as it really freaked me out. My ol' lady has Multiple Sclerosis which has caused arthritis in the back, so she gets Morphine every month. 180 of the MSIR 30's, which are quite delicious indeed. Anyway, we can't afford a car so we rent one for a day at the beginning of each month when she gets her disability. Because of the last month having 31 days, we had an extra day to worry about but not an extra 6 pills. Now, if we had a car we could have gotten the script on the 1st, but we still wouldn't have been able to pay for it until the 3rd, so that wouldn't be a lot of help, it just would have made Thursday a little more bearable.

We crush and snort the pills (though I eat a couple every once in a while, and have shot them a couple of times as well), and I'll generally crush up 4 of the daily 6 and split it into lines for the day. That way we can ration it out pretty good, and it leaves a couple for me to sneak and do (he he)! She doesn't need to know that, though.

Well, I fucked up and forgot about the extra day, so by the time I took a count we still had more days than pills. Trying to remedy the situation, I started crushing up just 3 for a couple of days, then 2 1/2 on the last day. Mind you, there were no extras at this point, so I was in effect "weaning down" from what I had been doing and I could tell that a mild withdrawal was setting in on me. On Wednesday (the day before the script), I had some pain in the joints and had lost my appetite for the most part, with just a hint of diarrhea. I actually slept pretty well that night, and when I woke up I didn't feel too bad either. Now I'm thinking that I'll be fine until we get the script and fill it. Thursday morning we both had one little line each which were approximately 7 - 8 mg. I thought that would at least hold me for the next few hours. Boy, was I wrong about that!

Around 8:30 we called for the rental car. Bear in mind that, being a Schedule II drug the Morphine script cannot be called in so every month we have a 30 mile trip each way to the hospital where the pain doc is. Each way takes a good 45 - 50 minutes if there are no complications (wrecks, construction, etc.), and once there we usually have a 15 - 20 minute wait for the doc to write the script and the nurse to come out with it. Once back, it can take anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes for the pharmacy to fill it depending on how busy they are. So, now we're looking at at LEAST 2 hours, possibly 2 1/2 before I can get any more in my system.

Before the rental car got here, I had to puke twice. I was completely surprised that I already felt that bad, and I had no idea the day before that I was already in that much withdrawal. Wiith 25 years of on/off opiate use/abuse, I know what it feels like to kick, but it took me by surprise because of the suddenness with which it came on. Fortunately, the diarrhea part was over, I had gone twice and that was it. I took a handful of tissue with me and stuck it in my pocket in case I got nauseous on the way to the rental place, since my stomach was already empty I figured all I would do is dry heave and the tissue would be all I needed. Wrong again.

On the way to the rental car place, I was in the back seat and felt that wave of nausea that tells me it's time to puke again. I took out the tissue and held it to my mouth, but what came out was a huge gob of nasty orange bile. Needless to say the tissue was about useless and now my sweatshirt is covered with the stuff. At the rental place they have a restroom, so I bolted for it immediately and proceeded to wash up as much as possible. While I was there I puked yet again. Now the shirt is soaking wet but most of the bile is washed out so I'm thinking the worst is over. NOT! Right before we left to hit the hospital, I grabbed an empty cup from the water cooler, expecting to use it if I had to puke while driving. Well, I went back into the bathroom and when I came out they were ready with the car, so I forgot the damned cup. BIG mistake.

By now, I'm pretty much in full withdrawal and know it, but have to plug on. Not just nausea now, my back is on fire with pain, my liver is working overtime, my blood pressure was probably so high that it would have scared me to know the reading, my insides ache terribly. I know I'm getting extremely dehydrated since I can't hold anything down. Water even makes me puke more at this stage. Anyway, I have to drive, and I'm hoping that everything goes well. No, I'm PRAYING that everything goes well by this time, and I'm only feeling worse and worse. I had again grabbed some tissue from the restroom which I DIDN'T forget, but about 2/3 of the way into the trip I get that feeling again, and there's no way or place to stop. Again I heaved up a gob of bile, some of which the tissue caught, but the majority was on my sweatshirt, again. Now I'm like "f**k it", knowing that this isn't the last time by any means, so I just resigned myself to it. The shirt was still wet from the previous cleanup, so I used it to clean up my beard somewhat and drove on.

At the hospital, I dropped her off to go in and get the script, and it's about 10:15 or so. The place is packed and there's no place to park short term, so I drive around the place waiting for her to come out. The guard must have wondered what I was doing, he saw me go past him every minute and a half, slowing up to look through the lobby glass. Sure enough, I had to puke again, but this time was able to stop the car and lean out the door until finished. More nasty bile, all over the pavement but not on me, thank goodness!

On the way back, I stopped at a donut place to puke, then when almost back I stopped again while waiting for some road construction to let us go and puked yet again. We finally arrived at the pharmacy around 11, and she went in to fill it while I stayed in the car. I smelled and looked like s**t and knew that few people would want to be around me anyway. Before she came out I puked again. I figured in all it was probably about 9 - 10 times that I puked, in a period of about 4 hours or so. Luckily there were few people and it took less than 15 minutes.

FINALLY! We have 180 tabs now. I couldn't wait to get back home and snort some, so I just put 3 in my mouth to dissolve. I knew if I held them in my mouth some of the M would absorb through the gums, and would settle the stomach a little so I could swallow and not have it come back up on me. By the time we got home (about 10 mins.) I was only feeling a tiny bit better, but not nauseous anymore either. We immediately crushed up two and split it, then a few minutes later snorted another one.

All in all, it took a good 2 hours before I felt back to normal again. I was still sore as hell from the s**tting and puking, but I was getting my appetite back and feeling pretty good. Needless to say, I have a new respect for Morphine, and as long as I live I'll NEVER let that happen again, even if I have to go through a little withdrawal before the script day. There will always be enough to keep from being sick on the day that we do all the running, you can believe that!

[Zoop]

That SUCKS, and it scares the shit out of me. I don't want to end up in that situation. I have been in WD several times, but it has never ever been as bad as you described. I guess doing pharmaceutical M day in and day out over several months gets one pretty habituated.

I have recently started to use pods to supplement my kratom habit, as they are a lot cheaper than kratom, but man, I don't wanna get hooked like THAT.

Right now I am feeling good off of a hit of kratom, so I think I'll stay away from pods for a week or so. Going to go on bupe in about 10 days.

hmmm.

[GMorris]

It certainly DID suck, BAD, and it scared the s**t out of me too! Like I said, I had no idea that I was THAT dependant on the stuff. It IS nice to have every day, especially when you have a bad back and often really need the stuff for the pain. I could have kicked my own ass for letting us get that low, but I really just forgot about the extra day until it was too late. By that time, the only game plan was to go into survival mode and stretch it out as much as possible. I just figured I'd get a LITTLE sick, not violently ill like that. What a bitch that was!

The only GOOD thing about the whole ordeal was that relief was eventually available and the suffering was stopped before it got REALLY bad. I can only imagine what it would be like to actually have to FINISH that kind of WD, most likely it would get way worse in the next couple of days. Hopefully I'll never have to.

[JoyDivision]

I'm a little confused. Are you using her meds even though you yourself suffer from back pain?
Why can't you get your own stuff? I've got a bad back and I'm on 10mg OxyContin CR's 3 times daily and will soon see about a dosage increase as I've been on this dose for 6 months and I still get heaps of pain.

If you take it everyday of course your going to build up a tolerance and be dependant on it. Best thing you can do is get some loperamide from the runs, some diphenhydramine or dimenhydrinate or stemetil for nausea and either go cold turkey for a few days or use codeine or poppy seed tea.

I'm on what you would call Tylenol 3's at the moment and I can tell you. It's better than nothing. I also take amitryptyline at night. If you want the stuff to work. Then you gotta take breaks from it now and then.
Perhaps you could try some 65mg propoxyphene hcl tabs or tramadol hcl. I used to switch between codeine , propoxyphene hcl and tramadol all the time before I got my Oxy's. And because my Oxy dose sucks atm I was using too much and now I have to wait 15 more days before I see my pain doc to get an increase in dosage. That's if he even gives me an increase.

The trick is to stop getting high off the stuff and start using it for it's intended purpose. Because when you run out of it because you used too much cause you wanted to get high even though your pain was controlled. It's a real fucking bitch waiting for the next lot! As you have found out for yourself.

[msdope]

Whoa. That sucks. The worst is you were like that, and had to move. Plus just knowing you were definately getting it in two hours makes you all the more desperate for everything to pan out perfectly. As I was reading I thought you were going to say on the way home you got in an accident or worst.

Was your wife alright? Her pain had to be really awful too with the MS, and all. I used to get so pissed with dope if I used with someone, and they didn't get sick as fast as me.

Glad you are alright now. Yeah. Definately you'll be careful with your count before you re-up next month.

[mmnyc9]

Brings back some serious memories, the puking sucks bigtime. I used to heave up some pretty strange stuff. The weird thing is once you have your stuff many of the wds would go away Its like your mind is saying you know your good to go chill youll be fine in X minutes. stange how quick it came on you.

[GMorris]

Why can't you get your own stuff?...
GOOD question, and I'm glad you asked!

This is what I get for actually being honest, and this is no s**t!

Back when I screwed my back, I was changing a tire and had a stuck lug nut. No amount of
force seemed to budge that damned thing, and the wrench I had was bent out at an angle
so that you couldn't get much leverage to help you. So I grabbed it in a fit of rage and pushed and pulled with as much as I could, and my back just made a strange sound and I was on the ground in pain. After that, I didn't remember a lot, but after I got XRayed I was told I could take the chiropractor approach or I could opt for quik-fix surgery which would have been fast relief but quite expensive, and likely to cause problems later. So, I opted for the Chiro. The doc
who recommended the guy knew what he was saying, that big SOB worked wonders on my
sorry ass and I'd love to thank him again for what he WAS able to do. That still didn't fix it
forever though.

That was about 20+ years ago, and I went to the Chiro every day, 6 days a week, for the first two weeks. After that the vists were spaced farther apart, and even at $25 a pop, it was pretty expensive for someone without insurance. Nowadays, the pain just gets worse and worse. I was able to continue working for a while, and it'd go out occasionally and I'd miss some work, but only recently I'm pretty much disabled. I went to Social Services about 4 - 5 years ago to apply for disability, and I had just left a job as a result of my back problems. They wanted me to find my old Doc and the XRays. I spent a few weeks tracking the guy down, but he's since left the practice and the nurse who knew him said they get rid of those pictures after 7 years I think. Only my current chiropractor had photos that were several years old, but before I could get them and return, I had to move to another county. Now, we don't have a car and I have no way to get there and apply again, though I'm looking into using an attorney. Even if I have to give up some of it, I'll get SOME money.

While I was still working, I decided that I should probably just go to a pain specialist. That way I could get the stuff legally, as I was buying a lot of stuff of the street and Internet as well. The problem with that was, I didn't even have a regular physician at the time. I considered myself to be fairly healthy aside from the back prob, so I didn't even have a regular Dr. At the time, my wife and I had just started dating, and she knew a good family doctor that would give me a referral to a pain doctor. Or so she thought.. Well, I made an appointment with the doctor, and as luck would have it, his assistant was the only one there. I do not think that the assistant had any idea what I was there to do. She asked me what the problem was, and I said my back, which wasn't a lie. Then she asked me what I was taking for it, and I said anything I can get that works. She was like "Huh?", and I told her (being honest) that I was getting the stuff from friends and the Internet. She IMMEDIATELY replied "I'm not giving you any prescriptions!", and I almost laughed, since I kinda knew that she wouldn't have even if I hadn't said that. I then told her that I didn't want any prescriptions from her, and that I was just looking for a family doctor that would refer me. Even after all of that, THEY DID!!

So I get to the pain doctor. This guy's name was Gerger, I kept confusing it with baby food, saying "Dr. Gerber", just not to his face. Mind you, I had learned my lesson, so I just stuck with the facts at hand; that I had a bad back, how I got a bad back, uhh, when it got to what do I do for a bad back, I knew that the doctor who kindly "referred" me had probably said something to this guy, but I still kept my cool. I would go to the appointments and tell him "I have to work with this every day, I need some relief", "My back kills me all the time, I can't stand this much more", and every time he would act like I was a camel looking back at him. After several of those failed attempts, I quit going, the guy was just milking the insurance and obviously (even after an MRI AND a bone scan) didn't believe that I was in enough pain to warrant anything more than an Advil. In other words, I was better off looking to the streets for anything strong enough to help.

Now my ol' lady is cool enough so that she can share the wealth a little, and I do take a little advantage, but she is ALWAYS pain free even if I have to do without. You can believe that!

Oh, and she was fine through the ordeal. Withdrawal seems to take a little longer with her, but she had no complaints so I was glad at least one of us felt good.

[msdope]

Ya know. With these Doctor's it's always hit or miss. I think back to times when I didn't do any drugs and some Doctor would write for 100 Perc's, and 100 Soma. All for my back just being out.

Then you truly are hurt, and have MRI's, and bone scans, and some Doctor gives ya the ol' "I don't want to put you on narcotics". Ugggghhhh.

Once I really did hurt my back. Just hurt it. Nothing like you have GMorris. I had to pull my jeans down just a tiny bit so this Doctor could check out my spine. The dude said "Oh never wear red panties in here after I took care of a bunch of elderly women all day". The red panties scored me a script for the 100 Lortabs. 100 Soma, and 100 xanies. Again at a time when I didn't use.

Well, after another visit where the Doc asked me to go out with him for a drink, and I declined that was the end of any script. Nothing right about that.

[GMorris]

Doctors are so damned paranoid because of the DEA keeping close tabs on their script-writing practices. Even the real PAIN doctors get audited regularly. The one the ol' lady goes to is pretty cool though, I'll have to admit. Unfortunately, he is part of the organization where I went, so even if I could get to see him they'd probably still have records and I'd likely just get the runaround yet again. Stuff like that tends to stick with you for a long time, ya know?

I think just about everybody that goes to that pain clinic gets really excellent meds. She could probably get the doctor to switch her to Demerol or Dilaudid, or basically anything strong like that, but we both like the Morphine a lot so I doubt she will try to change it anytime soon. I just wish I could get that kind of a script, then we wouldn't need to share it.

[duke_nemmerle]

It's -enraging- the state of things in the world today--attitudes towards drugs. I need to get to another country someday methinks.

[JoyDivision]

I would just goto another Doctor. I had a Doctor who once he saw my CT Scan just thought it was all in my head and wouldn't prescribe anything. It really is hit and miss. My advice. Don't be honest. Just tell the truth to the things which will get you meds and don't with the things that won't. If you tell them your getting the stuff illegally they are going to think your just another druggie. Honesty may be the best policy when it comes to people you know really well (like my current Doctor) but not to people you don't.

Goto a new GP show them your current X-rays and either ask for some relief or to be reffered to another pain doctor or a pain clinic. Codeine, Hydrocodone, Propoxyphene HCl or Tramadol should at least be prescribed from the first Doc. Don't ask for Oxy though because from what I know about US Laws and attitudes towards it you'd be better off getting it off the street or from a specialist who prescribes it to you.
Also don't ask for things with a Doc you don't know. Just explain you've tried tylenol and advil and other OTC pain killers and they don't work. Tell them your exact symptoms i.e. back spasms, burning pain. and the severity of the pain. Basically. You've heard of lead the witness. You need to lead the Doctor.

Some Doctors. Like my pain doc. Think they are Gods. If you show too much interest or intelligence in pharmacology they won't prescribe the stuff to you. So you gotta kind of play dumb. But not dumb enough to just get Advil.

I didn't even fuck my back. My back is fucked from genetics and I didn't know about it until around 2002-2003. If I had known I wouldn't have spent so long on my computer in a shitty chair and would have made sure my posture was correct. I have mild lower back scoliosis and a straight neck instead of a curved one. If I don't take anything I get lower back spasms and pain, mid and upper back pain, pain in the back of my neck and pain in my forehead. I also get blurred vision (like the kind of feeling if you had your eyes crossed for ages) and I start to really sweat, my blood pressure goes up and I sometimes feel sick from it.

I would love to properly fuck my back and have better physical evidence than a CT Scan that shows nothing and X-rays that "only show mild scoliosis". Then maybe my pain might be treated seriously.

What would really help my back is diazepam that you can take all the time that works all the time :-).

[GMorris]

Trust me, I've had more than my share of doctor experiences. Sometimes you get lucky, most times you don't. Now I'm not in any financial shape to choose a doctor, my only option is Social Services, and I still don't have a way to even get there. That's why I'm glad the ol' lady is able to get what we both need. I'm thinking in a few more months she might even be able to get them to give 2 x 30mg., 4 times a day. That'd be enough that we could both just take them orally and not have to put our sinuses through the daily snorting in order to get more medicine in our systems. The only reason that I was that honest was that I had already tried just about everything else, and figured maybe that would be the way to go. I learned yet another lesson. At the time, I had a fairly good job (computer related) that didn't require but occasional physical work, but eventually my back gave way again and that scared the company to the point where they started to scrutinize me. They were just looking for a way to "get rid" of me, but couldn't find it so they just put the pressure on until I finally just said "look guys, this isn't working for either of us" and just left gracefully. When I went to the pain doc, I was always very clean-cut and well-dressed, so I know I didn't LOOK like a druggie, but that didn't help after the fiasco at that other doctor's office. How I wish he had been in that day.

Soon, soon I'll get the chance to take my X-rays to the clinic and hope for the best, but until then we'll be OK as long as I keep good track of the count!

[JoyDivision]

Good luck though man. I'm a big anxious myself of seeing my pain specialist on the 22nd of Nov at 1pm ACDT. I just gotta remember to keep my damn mouth shut about pharmacology, that he isn't just a prescription pad despite that I know what I want when I see him and just tell him the facts: "Look I did what you said. I started low and went slow for almost six months now but the current dose just isn't cutting it. I'm still getting severe pain and really bad lower back muscle spasms. Is it possible to have my dosage increased?"

Instead of:
"Hello, I need an increased dosage. 3x10mg OC CR's is a really piss weak dose. If you could give me 3 or 4 20mg OC CR's so I can titrate my dosage and the pharmacist won't get annoyed and Oh btw, is there any way that you could give my Doctor the authority to increase it even more than that so I don't have to wait a whole month to get in to see you and then have to drive an hour from the other side of town to come in, where as I can just walk to my local GP? That would be really sweet, thanks!"

The fact though is that it's a real pain in the arse to go and see the guy. But with any increase in dosage I have to go see him on the other side of town instead of my local GP who is like a 5 minute walk away. It would be awesome if he could double my prescribed dose but give authority for an even larger dosage so that my GP can adjust the dosage in say another 3-6 months if needed.

[GMorris]

I'm hoping the best for you, I know how it is!

My dad was here the other day, he's 66 and has been a stoner since his early 30's. He always brings a little weed with him, and it helps a little with the back pain too. When he found out we had Morphine, he had to try a few himself but he hasn't asked for one lately. Before when the ol' lady was getting methadone, Pop tried a few of those, but then he started hating them because of the constipation issue. He said the Morphine didn't do that to him, but I stopped short of trying to explain drug half-life and all that pharmacological stuff and just told him that it gets out of your system about 10 times faster. Now, you'd think that if he's doing the occasional pill, he wouldn't care about how much I use, but he just had to know how much I was taking every day. I told him that we just split it and snort them, and he started in with "do you really need that much? that seems like a lot", and the like. Like I wouldn't know how much pain I'm generally in. And I've told him time and again about how my back got destroyed, he knows I've been to chiropractors numerous and often times, and I'm always complaining about it, but he still wants to meddle a little. I just take it with a grain of salt, after all I doubt that he's going to turn us in to the law or anything. Funny how even at 44 years old, ol' Pop still wants to get all up in my business!

[duke_nemmerle]

That's cool that your dad's cool and he's lookin out for ya. My pops is about the same way.

[paperrabbit]

i know this is an old thread, but wow, what a shitty story. I know i hate when the rattle of the bottle gets more and more hollow...
Msdope - though your docs obviously were some dirty boys, at a point where i'm in pain i'd definitely lie to them a little bit "oh yeah sure i'll meet you...." ha, ha

I went to my doc with a busted infected toenail oozing pus and blood. My toe was purple and I couldn't walk. I asked him for something for the pain at the end of the appointment and he declined me, saying "these things can be cured 80% of the time with salt water" It was summer and I was in a t shirt and shorts, I'm convinced it was my tattoos that may have scared him. Anyway, went back two days later, but saw another doctor at the same office (in pants & long sleeves this time) and he was shocked that the other doctor would say such a thing to me and wrote me a script for 7.5s without blinking.

[poppy]

On the subject of blood and pus, due to my iv heroin use I have ended up with abscesses from time to time. Usually they heal up themselves,with a little assistance from me in the form of keeping the infected area clean with swabs and squeezing pus out of them. Sometimes this can shoot out with some considerable force. I have been known to accidently 'shoot' my boyfriend on the otherside of the room with a stream of smelly pus. Its a bit like projectile vomiting it comes out with such force. Not surprizingly this never goes down very well, but is certainly never deliberatly aimed at him which he generally implys afterwards. If I could do that I'd save it up for arguments, the ultimate weapon!! (he,he). Anyway (sorry I digressed a bit there) sometimes they don't heal up and I have to make a trip to the doctors for antibiotics. But the mean old doc never ever prescribes any painkillers of any kind presumably (officially at least) because of the risk of him being blamed if I were to overdose. So I just use ibuprofen and have to admit that it is effective in getting rid of that nasty, unmistakable throbbing abscess pain. It's good for headaches too. For some reason heroin doesn't seem to do anything for any pain I may have, ie. if for example I had a headache and tried to get rid of the pain by hitting up an extra bag of gear to my usual daily amount it wouldn't do anything other than make me gauche a bit. and it leaves a couple for me to sneak and do (he he)! She doesn't need to know that, though.
Hey GMorris I reckon the fact you were as ill as you were and your wife wasn't ill at all is probably down to karma!!!!
[quote]it leaves a couple for me to sneak and do (he he)! She doesn't need to know that, though.
Just jesting!!!! although I have to say that I'd go mad if I found out my boyfriend was doing that to me! I'm always suspicious if he gets sicker than me or earlier than me, usually with good reason!! Seriously though your habit is probably bigger than your wife's because of the extra pills.

[JoyDivision]

Hey GMorris,

Why can't your Dad get stuff then and share it with you? Since he doesn't seem to need alot.

[shaunclo]

Hey GMorris,

Why can't your Dad get stuff then and share it with you? Since he doesn't seem to need alot.

Hey Joy, I think GM meant that his dad brings some weed over, not pharma's.

[fiiendin]

Sometimes this can shoot out with some considerable force. I have been known to accidently 'shoot' my boyfriend on the otherside of the room with a stream of smelly pus. Its a bit like projectile vomiting it comes out with such force. Not surprizingly this never goes down very well, but is certainly never deliberatly aimed at him which he generally implys afterwards. If I could do that I'd save it up for arguments, the ultimate weapon!! (he,he).

Ewwwwww...hahahaha

[exitwound]

I wish I could say that I didn't know what you mean. Sadly, I go through the song and dance every month as well.....