Pics on the Site?

[2HI2C]

Is there a collection of pics on the site? I'd like to see what to expect when I try and cop some heroin over the weekend. I've listened to all the advice, but I just need to supplement my prescription with something easy, affordable, able to hide from opiophobic wife and snortable! But I don't want to get ripped off!

I couldn't tell anyone around me this but I'm really living in hell. With the cap that has been placed on my meds I am just not able to make it. I'm not talking w/d, I'm talking raw pain. She's a winner, believe me...when I got my prescription for 40mgs of OC 3x's a day, I got, "that's it. You can choose your pain meds or your family. It's up to you..." Like I said, I can't tell anyone of my friends, but there are days when suicide seems like the best out for me. There's nothing worse than being under treated for pain ON PURPOSE. I can sell one of my OC's for $30 to a guy at work, and if I can use that money to get some heroin (which is stronger, right? And it seems like a bag is $10), I could help keep my pain at bay a little more. Because I'm only on 120mgs a day my tolerance isn't high at all... I don't know. I'm just trying to come up with some options. She knows I'm desperate, so she cut off access to my credit cards, lock me out of our checking/savings, etc...yeah. class act bitch. I hate saying that about the mother of my children, but she's causing me to live in hell. It's like she's forcing me to either walk out of our marriage, or kill myself. I just can't imagine a human being could be like that.

thanks for your help. You guys have really been great so far and I love the community feel of this place. You really watch each other's back...

Joe
p.s. Oh...and I should add, she's doing it all in the name of religion. Now that's compassionate...

[2HI2C]

Hmmmm, I just read the "Price Poll" and maybe I was thinking of something else...it looks like it runs about $100, but again, if I could sell one of my OC's a day, I could score every 3 days. With a newbie like me, I could make a bag like that last 3 days right? And again, I'm basing it on the presupposition that heroin is stronger than 40mg OC...

[flipside]

Dont do it man..it aint worth it from one CP'er to another. And an H addict. It may start out cheaper..but it won't stay that way.

Your family or your meds? Pick up the H and you won't have to make the choice..the dope will make it for ya.

[paper skeletons]

They gave Jesus wine in the cross....painkiller. Tell her that about religion.

[paper skeletons]

You know what? Doesn't oxy have a longer halflife than H? For that reason, I think oxy would work better for pain.


More importantly...

You can also have good intentions as to what you'll spend on dope. It can be the most masterfully planned budget and schedule...If I buy x, it'll last me Y days, and MAYBE even one more. You always end up using more than you planned and spending more than you dreamt. Your 3 oxys a day won't be enough to pay for your H. If you thought you had it rough now, just wait. Willpower flies out the window and gets hit by the car behind you.

[2HI2C]

You know what? Doesn't oxy have a longer halflife than H? For that reason, I think oxy would work better for pain.


More importantly...

You can also have good intentions as to what you'll spend on dope. It can be the most masterfully planned budget and schedule...If I buy x, it'll last me Y days, and MAYBE even one more. You always end up using more than you planned and spending more than you dreamt. Your 3 oxys a day won't be enough to pay for your H. If you thought you had it rough now, just wait. Willpower flies out the window and gets hit by the car behind you.

It might be better for pain, but based on how I feel (and all the tests confirm this, MRI, CT, EMG), my fusion completely failed and I'm worse off now then when I started this journey! Even my doc feels for me, but he knows the situation I'm in. Because of that, he had no problem RX'ing me my meds...but that to say...I should be on 80 x 3 a day or more! that's my problem. The pain is just under treated. If I could supplement what I'm taking to help out, that would be awesome.

I totally know what you're saying about the "best laid plans...", but either case I'm fucked. I can't wake up many more days and pop a 40 and still be hurting as badly as I am w/o something giving...

[antigonemuse]

a bag of heroin will not last three days, and a 120mg a day habbit is not small thang. a bag of dope for a newbie (and im talking one stamp) could be two doses for a newbie, but would quickly increase your need for more and more... I suggest not fucking with it at all... heroin leads to injection and that is a life long habbit and the beginning to a rapid decline of will power (wither for pain or pleasure)

i got into dope for similar reasons, and now i struggle to stay fixed everyday.... cause even 12 hours without and im a sniffling, crampy, piss of the earth in the bowls of withdrawal.

it seems to me that bundles would go for more then 100 where you are (thats 10 stamps / bags) and if you wanna sell your oxy for the junk... well lets just say eventually you will be outta oxy in weeks, and sweating out some of the worst pain in your life quickly.

please think about this decision more... and feel free to PM me if you need more of a deterent for this dive you are considering

with love
antimuse

[paper skeletons]

It might be better for pain, but based on how I feel (and all the tests confirm this, MRI, CT, EMG), my fusion completely failed and I'm worse off now then when I started this journey! Even my doc feels for me, but he knows the situation I'm in. Because of that, he had no problem RX'ing me my meds...but that to say...I should be on 80 x 3 a day or more! that's my problem. The pain is just under treated. If I could supplement what I'm taking to help out, that would be awesome.

I totally know what you're saying about the "best laid plans...", but either case I'm fucked. I can't wake up many more days and pop a 40 and still be hurting as badly as I am w/o something giving...

You're fucked, but don't fuck yourself more with heroin! Look, I know your wife said, "that's it!"...but what's the trouble with getting the doc to make it 3 80's a day? If you can conceal a heroin habit from your wife, this shouldn't be too hard.

How about fent patches? They work pretty well for pain, you can hide it pretty well.

If the doc feels bad for you, you shouldn't have a problem getting something more than sympathy from him. I think that where heroin could mess you up...What if your pain doc screens you and you test positive for H? Really, what if?

We can get you through this with some logic.

Cheers!

[2HI2C]

But, I really feel like a cagged rat. I do have a very good job with a GOOD salary, but knowing myself, I would be on the street in no time.

I think I will go behind her back and talk with my doc. She doesn't know what my meds look like, so I suppose I could put 80's in an old prescription bottle that says 40mgs on it. All she has to know is that I'm ONLY taking 3 a day. :)

It's just that she does follow up with my doctor, but if I have the discussion with him to NOT disclose any info to her, I should be fine. He has to follow the HIPPA regulations, anyway. She doesn't have permission to have any info released to her, so I'm safe there.

I'm so depressed that it comes to this. I feel so angry when I sit in church with her watching her get all emotional knowing that she's so evil...ahhh...whatever...

Maybe this will work.

[paper skeletons]

Yeah, I'd give it a go. Oxy's are gonna help you out way more than H. Dig up some surveys on the site, and you'll see that some people prefer oxy to H.

Remember that fent can be an option too. If the very root of your problem is PAIN (and not getting buzzed), and eliminating it would make your world right again, a fent patch would help. When used properly, people get used to it pretty quickly- your wife may not object.

Cheers

[2HI2C]

Yeah, I'd give it a go. Oxy's are gonna help you out way more than H. Dig up some surveys on the site, and you'll see that some people prefer oxy to H.

Remember that fent can be an option too. If the very root of your problem is PAIN (and not getting buzzed), and eliminating it would make your world right again, a fent patch would help. When used properly, people get used to it pretty quickly- your wife may not object.

Cheers

I have read up on Fentanyl as well and will bring that up with him. but I actually like the idea of just switching to a stronger OC. Again, that way, I don't to even TRY to convince her. I just take my pills when I'm supposed to and smile politely! Telling her how happy I am she LET'S me take pain medication... :)

And don't get me wrong, I'm like a lot of chronic pain people on and off this site I LOVE a buzz (let's just be honest!), that's why I will snort my OC from time-to-time. Especially since I know dropping 40mg isn't going to help me all that much anyway. I might as well enjoy the rush every now and then, and man...I love the rush. Also, OF COURSE, I think about what it would be like to shoot heroin. I've never done it and I'd love to try. The crowd I hang around with are NOT into ANY form of drugs, let's just say, even a non-alcohol beer makes some of them uneasy...shit...if I had a friend who knew what she/he were doing that would shoot me up once just to see what it was like I could at least say I tried it. Well, maybe some day...

thanks, man!

[paper skeletons]

That's thanks, woman, to you! lol. None of my close friends or family are users. In fact, line me up with a bunch of people and have them choose the addict, many of them would pick me last. So then heroin buzz you're looking for is shooting? I think bad advice would be, "well, then shoot your oxy"...it does produce a rush, but the effects do last longer when taken orally.

[2HI2C]

I will shoot my oxy, it's just a matter of time. I just don't get the cotton thing...do you actually draw the liquid THROUGH the cotton to keep out the fragments? I always thought it would be a better way to put the cotton balls IN the barrel, then add the mixture, then put the plunger in and force it through the cotton into a clean spoon, doing that several times to get the fragments out. Would that work as well?

My thinking process of going to heroin was due to the fact that it's so inexpensive, and I do have a guy at work that buys one of my OC's every now and then. He would buy one every day if I would sell 'em to him. As for funding a heroin addiction, yes, I could afford it financially, well at least until it just took me over, which knowing myself (again) it would just be a matter of time.

[2HI2C]

That's thanks, woman, to you! lol. None of my close friends or family are users. In fact, line me up with a bunch of people and have them choose the addict, many of them would pick me last. So then heroin buzz you're looking for is shooting? I think bad advice would be, "well, then shoot your oxy"...it does produce a rush, but the effects do last longer when taken orally.


Thanks, Woman! :)

Yeah, I'm the same way. After I grew out of the drug stage in my early 20's I never even wanted to mess with them after that. When I wound up in the hospital under-going all these tests because I kept passing out from severe pain, and finding out that the discs in my neck were basically shot...had my first fusion surgery which failed and got put on narcotics (for the rest of my life), I BECAme HOOKED! I love 'em and I hate 'em. I want to be pain free, but I also want to be high (now). Oh well...shit happens, right.

[RxQueen]

oh 2H... please rethink your choices! heroin is NOT an easy thing to hide from anyone you live with, and if your wife freaks out about you taking too many pills, just imagine her reaction after finding a bag of powder and straws and/or the needle & spoon! rather than just threatening to leave you, she might decide to go to court to try to revoke your parental rights entirely. this is not meant to scare you, but it should nevertheless!

your best option is to go to your doctor and have a frank discussion with him. work with him to increase your LEGAL meds as needed. his treatment of your medical condition is NOT a matter that should be dictated by your wife. it sounds like she has no understanding of the chronic pain condition or the methods used to control it. is it possible for your doctor (or her family practitioner, even) to talk with her to try explaining your treatment, and why it is best for you (rather than opiate abstinence)? living with pain is hard enough without her close-minded attitude messing with your mental state.

i really hope that you decide to pursue an increase in meds with your doctor, and forget about heroin for a while! if your pain condition is a life-long thing, you'll be starting waaay too early with a last-ditch effort that you may only decide is your last option once you're much older! heroin is NOT the best choice for pain management. and injection is definitely not the best option either, since it takes away the staying power of any meds that are meant to last for hours. best of luck to you!

[IceCold]

[quote=flipside;147782] It may start out cheaper..but it won't stay that way.

/quote]

I don't know what prices are like in your area, but here H is much much cheaper than OC's. I say dude if you are hurtin and need relief right away go get some dope. Also I don't understand how yuor wife has any right to tell you what meds you should take. Is she a doctor? If not. Then she should have nothing to say about what treatment is appropriate for you and your pain. Also, I disagree with the people who say you can't hide your heroin addiction from your family. If you are clever enough you can easily hie your addiction. I live with a family member who doesn't know I am an addict and it has been like that for 3 years.

[TappyTibbons]

dude, no offence.... but I say kick your bitch wife to the curb yo! If you have a legitimate reason for being in pain and she is stopping you from getting treatment, LOCKING YOU OUT OF YOUR ACCOUNT, filled with YOUR OWN FUCKING MONEY (you said you have a high paying job) I'd say you need to tell that lady to kick rocks, take your bad self and your high paying job and snag up a nice apartment or a house and stay with your kids.

[paper skeletons]

2hi, there are several things people do/use to filter their stuff, ESPECIALLY when it comes down to oxy and the time release stuff, so use the search feature. You'll find nice info from people who've been at this a lot longer than I have.

[odd]

Well, do to some fluke, my entire message was deleted.

fuck

[2HI2C]

dude, no offence.... but I say kick your bitch wife to the curb yo! If you have a legitimate reason for being in pain and she is stopping you from getting treatment, LOCKING YOU OUT OF YOUR ACCOUNT, filled with YOUR OWN FUCKING MONEY (you said you have a high paying job) I'd say you need to tell that lady to kick rocks, take your bad self and your high paying job and snag up a nice apartment or a house and stay with your kids.

ugh...are you a fucking mind reader? I've already been out looking at places if it every comes to that. I'm just torn. How can you actually tell someone to choose between not being in pain or living with their family? I know that sounds fucked up and everyone is thinking....hmmmm, there's shit he's not telling us, but fuck I don't know anyone here, so I don't have anything to hide!!

She's MEGA, ULTRA, EXTREME, Right-wing conservative, I'm pretty conservative myself, but I really have a fucked up spine. I'm putting off a 3-level fusion (my next surgery) becuse the 1st surgery failed and it was REALLY TOUGH ON ME!

I don't know...I just don't have any connections where I am. and I'm NOT about to drive around the shady parts of town asking. There is a guy at work who does buy one of my OC's from time-to-time, but I don't he's into anything else, otherwise he wouldn't be coming to ME! :)

If I only lived in NYC, sounds like the place to be, huh!?!

[devilsdrug]

better save urself the anguish get ur ducks in a row and kick her somewhere and WHY are u so aganst lookin around its FUN u will get a buzz off of doiin that

[2HI2C]

better save urself the anguish get ur ducks in a row and kick her somewhere and WHY are u so aganst lookin around its FUN u will get a buzz off of doiin that

Yeah, if I were 20 years younger! Dude, I don't think you understand how much I DO NOT look like I use anything! I'm a 43yr old business executive that got exposed to narcotics based on a spine from hell. I'd be dragged from my car and beaten if I rolled up looking for some heroin! No, that's just not going to happen. I can experiment with my OC which is prescribed to me.

This might be the wrong place to ask this but are those on line places legit? I can't do Private messages, but you could email me. I remember seeing someone saying there are some that are legit. (I don't know if that's against the rules, if it is SORRY!) But I think there's an area for people to discuss vendors, isn't there?

[2HI2C]

This might be the wrong place to ask this but are those on line places legit? I can't do Private messages, but you could email me. I remember seeing someone saying there are some that are legit. (I don't know if that's against the rules, if it is SORRY!) But I think there's an area for people to discuss vendors, isn't there?

I answered my own question buy looking down in the vendor area. So is this a possibility? (I also posted it there, but since we've got this conversation going...

could I guy up a shit load of 10/325's and do a CWE on them in order to produce something (of half decent quality) to either snort or shoot?

THAT! I could do...I know scoring locally would be a LOT easier, but again, I have ZERO connections!

[NV12]

Sorry that you have to suffer through this. I can relate to your wife in such that I am conservative and am a church goin gal. But how sad for your wife that she has bound you to such rigid standards to ensure you stay "good". When in fact, you're considering the possibility of shooting heroin so you can control your legitimite pain better, while hiding from your wife. If church is her thing, how about suggesting some therapy for her from someone who can help her understand how much she needs to support you? My hubby is an addict and that has helped me tremendously.

I hope you find proper pain management fort this, and work things out. I hope she finds it in herself to understand what you are going through. Best of luck to you...

[2HI2C]

Sorry that you have to suffer through this. I can relate to your wife in such that I am conservative and am a church goin gal. But how sad for your wife that she has bound you to such rigid standards to ensure you stay "good". When in fact, you're considering the possibility of shooting heroin so you can control your legitimite pain better, while hiding from your wife. If church is her thing, how about suggesting some therapy for her from someone who can help her understand how much she needs to support you? My hubby is an addict and that has helped me tremendously.

I hope you find proper pain management fort this, and work things out. I hope she finds it in herself to understand what you are going through. Best of luck to you...


That's one of the hardest things for me to reconcile! Where is the compassion???? I want to do the right thing, but I'm getting backed into a corner and there is NOOOOO room for discussion in the matter with her. I've tried everything, believe me. One of our friends is a trauma nurse in the ER downtown and sees all type of terrible stuff. I had her over to talk with my wife and...not a budge. That's why I just have to take things into my own hands. I just can't deal with the daily, unrelenting pain much longer. when I hear people talk about the shot and then the "ahhhhhhhhhhh" I just about cry!! No kidding. Don't want to get whimpy on ya here, but what I wouldn't give to experience that, "ahhhhhhhhhh" for a little while. I posted it elsewhere, but I experienced that about 15 years ago when I was in the hospital for meningitis and got hooked up to a morphine pump. Oh man, if I could experience that again, I would cut one of my arms off. That's how bad it's getting. And to think I'm heading for a 3-level fusion in the near future. I just don't know what will happen after that! She may be forced into "letting" me take something stronger, but I don't want to go through all of that just for her to understand.

Thank you for your thoughts. I really appreciate it! I'm not an addict...YET! But it's going to happen very soon, I can just feel it. I mean look at what I'm talking about with you guys...sheesh...never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be here talking about this.

[NV12]

That's one of the hardest things for me to reconcile! Where is the compassion???? I want to do the right thing, but I'm getting backed into a corner and there is NOOOOO room for discussion in the matter with her. I've tried everything, believe me. One of our friends is a trauma nurse in the ER downtown and sees all type of terrible stuff. I had her over to talk with my wife and...not a budge. That's why I just have to take things into my own hands. I just can't deal with the daily, unrelenting pain much longer. when I hear people talk about the shot and then the "ahhhhhhhhhhh" I just about cry!! No kidding. Don't want to get whimpy on ya here, but what I wouldn't give to experience that, "ahhhhhhhhhh" for a little while. I posted it elsewhere, but I experienced that about 15 years ago when I was in the hospital for meningitis and got hooked up to a morphine pump. Oh man, if I could experience that again, I would cut one of my arms off. That's how bad it's getting. And to think I'm heading for a 3-level fusion in the near future. I just don't know what will happen after that! She may be forced into "letting" me take something stronger, but I don't want to go through all of that just for her to understand.

Thank you for your thoughts. I really appreciate it! I'm not an addict...YET! But it's going to happen very soon, I can just feel it. I mean look at what I'm talking about with you guys...sheesh...never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be here talking about this.
Points to you... but I forgot to add my name at the end of my comment and don't know how to edit :)

[paper skeletons]

Points to you... but I forgot to add my name at the end of my comment and don't know how to edit :)

Mentally ya do sound kinda addicted already. Looks like you're headed to a place that'll make you completely incompatable with your wife.

Question for you. Why is she SO on edge about all these meds with you? Have you had a slip up of sorts with ANYTHING, EVER? How about someone she's known?

I ask because if the answer is NO, and you've never had trouble with drugs or alcohol, your wife needs to be there for you IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. Pain is no fun, and you need to be treated for it so you can be there for her. Why doesn't she trust you? It just doesn't make sense that she'd say no and wig out for no good reason.

[pharmboy]

Oh 2c I was pretty damn near where you are now six years ago.
What is it with these fucking hypocrite people that dont understand
pain? Dont you wish they could feel like you do just for a couple of days?
I think things might be worse for you being in the Mid-west (Bible belt?)
Well since then I got rid of the wife ( or we mutually got rid of each other)
got a much cooler Doc. and both kids chose to come with me.
Well a couple of years ago the wife had sinus surgery which didnt go to
well, and now she takes almost twice the daily dose of Morph/oxy as I do.
Life is strange! Hang in there Try not to main line if you can, thats where I
drew the line.

[Mcdom]

What about getting on fentanyl patches with oxy as breakthru - is that an option?

I have a fucked up spine too - but not a barbaric spouse monitoring my intake.

[2HI2C]

Mentally ya do sound kinda addicted already. Looks like you're headed to a place that'll make you completely incompatable with your wife.

Question for you. Why is she SO on edge about all these meds with you? Have you had a slip up of sorts with ANYTHING, EVER? How about someone she's known?

I ask because if the answer is NO, and you've never had trouble with drugs or alcohol, your wife needs to be there for you IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. Pain is no fun, and you need to be treated for it so you can be there for her. Why doesn't she trust you? It just doesn't make sense that she'd say no and wig out for no good reason.

My wife is from the Far East and knows about my younger wild days (THAT WAS 25 YEARS AGO) and her fear is that I will just get taken over by the meds, and yes she has seen people strung out on heroin, opium, etc... but it's a different time and a different place. I'm under the care of a doctor who actually WANTS to help me. And up until now, I have done everything above the board with her, for crying out loud, we're supposed to be a team. (we've been married 19yrs!). What is the saying, "furie hath no wrath like a woman scorned!" So I watch my shit! You've never seen an angry women until you've seen an angry Asian!!! Believe me!

[paper skeletons]

Something like oxyfast? Liquid. Almost looks like water.

[2HI2C]

Something like oxyfast? Liquid. Almost looks like water.

There ya go! I'm telling ya what those two words BELONG together! It's like Colt 45, Donnie & Marie, KY Jelly, taking pleasure with oneself, no wait, that's four words...well, they still belong together! :)

It should be OxyNotFastEnough...

[In The Wind]

find another doc..

[Mcdom]

You are lucky to have a doc willing to help you with meds - it took my doc three years to finally realize I couldn't function much longer w/o some high octane narcotic. Now he tells me that he believes that 99 per cent of people who complain about pain are either looking for drugs or SSI - and he tells me I am in that 1 per cent of legit patients looking for relief. Whatever - he's a fairly good doc but an idiot when it comes to understanding chronic pain. For three years I lived in agony - thanks to online pharms I was able to manage a bit.

What I am trying to say to you is this: Whatever reasons you have that allow your wife to run your life are yours - I don't agree with that kind of coupling and never will - but it's putting you in potential danger.

What if you decide to hook up with street stuff and syringes and get caught or OD? Or what if you manage to get a skin pop infection if you bang your oxy and have no choice but to see a doc (your wife will make you)?

You are putting your pain management in danger with all this. If you get "caught" doing something not recommended by the medical people - you might get shut off for good. Where does that leave you?

You can separate from a wife.

If you get booted from a doc because of off the books drug use it's extrememly hard to find another one who will treat you - and it gets put down in your records.

If getting your pain treated adequately is your goal (and how could it not be - I've been there) - you must find a way to deal with your wife and lay this out with your doc. It's not going to go away or get any better by not addressing it.

If anything - you might get caught when the second surgery rolls around - how will you explain your tolerance issues to the surgical team if you've been shooting oxy's?

Please think this out and proceed with great caution.