Any bipolar opiophiles?

[limitless_euphoria]

I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (aka manic depression). My mood fluctuates a lot. Sometimes what I consume affects it but lately I've been high on life, can't sleep, thinking all these grandiose thoughts... I'm clean. But I'm just afraid that when I cycle back to the dark side and I get up back on the horse (which I always seem to inevitably do) I'm going to f myself. I've got a wife and kids and she knows the whole "take you to the cleaners" schpeal. Plus I love my son and daughter but it's kind of like that song lyric

"Torn between two lovers (opiates and sobriety), feeling like a fool... cause loving you both is breaking all the rules."

Oh well, while I'm manic I might as well do some housework and hbelp out. Seriously, I am in a dilly of a pickle. I have legit back problems and I can get scripted if I really wanted but right now I'm actually happier w/o opiates.... I don't miss them... not YET anyway. Try me back in like a week.

Oh well, I'm just curious to see how unique my situation is? Thanks.

[Dan Steely]

I may be similar to you. Ive never been diagnosed. Sometimes I am unreasonably happy and energetic.This is what made me think I might be manic. I never really thought about seeking help for it because I like the ups and have accepted the downs. More often though I am lethargic and melancholy. Of course opiates fix that and make me feel like I'm on top of the world. I had these extremes since I was about 13. Im 40 now. I didnt start w/ opies til 1 yr ago. Thats about all I can tell you abbout me. Have you ever tried any drugs besides opiates for it. I have a fiend who takes something (lithium maybe) because he cant funtion w/o. I have managed to just tough it out. I am much happier on opiates.

[JayTrizzle]

I used to be on Seraquel because my mania was getting to the point where i wouldn't sleep for days at at ime and my depression was getting so bad that i started waking up place and not knowing where i was from do some much oxy and drinking so much. I don't care anyway. If I die, I die. Fuck it.

[limitless_euphoria]

I used to be on Seraquel because my mania was getting to the point where i wouldn't sleep for days at at ime and my depression was getting so bad that i started waking up place and not knowing where i was from do some much oxy and drinking so much. I don't care anyway. If I die, I die. Fuck it.

Me too. I HATE THAT STUFF... sorry, if it works for you cool. I had BAD TIMES. But, you ever seen Fight Club with Ed Norton and Brad Pitt?

That line where Ed Norton says "Insomnia, it's like you're never really awake or asleep..." I so know that feeling. There's times where I feel like I just did a fat rail of fishscale and I haven't even had any drugs whatsoever.

I'm having a bad craving day today. Trying to stay good.

[DarthPerineum]

*raises hand*

Yep, i too have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Currently im scripted to ativan for my panic attacks, i used to be scripted to xanex but my doc decided that he didnt want me on it due to its "high addictiveness" or some shit. I generally try to score some on the street for when my script runs out. I bounce around pretty bad, one minute ill be the happiest person in the world and the next ill be freaking out like a child lost in a crowd. Its rough, at least it is for me, becuase ive lost eally good jobs and relationships due to it before i realized what was going on. Now that im aware of what is going on im able to handle myslf much better.

[jbnugget]

I'm also bipolar . Whenever I'm on the downside good old opiates help me back up. I think that's why I started doing them in the first place . My doctor is an old timer who understands my problem more than any other doctor ever has. He prescribes me opiates as a mood stabilizer, although I'm sure that's not what he puts in the record . But, being bipolar is a lifelong thing and he's not gonna be around that long . So, at least for now, I'm happy .

Life sucks and then you die.

jbnugget

PS - nobody ever believes me when I tell them about my doctor. But that's OK. I think they're just jealous that they don't have a doctor like that.

[aj11]

" Now a question of equtique, when I pass should I give you the ass or the crouch?"

[limitless_euphoria]

" Now a question of equtique, when I pass should I give you the ass or the crouch?"

OMG, my friends and I were just joking about that line last night!

Great flick though.

[limitless_euphoria]

I'm also bipolar . Whenever I'm on the downside good old opiates help me back up. I think that's why I started doing them in the first place . My doctor is an old timer who understands my problem more than any other doctor ever has. He prescribes me opiates as a mood stabilizer, although I'm sure that's not what he puts in the record . But, being bipolar is a lifelong thing and he's not gonna be around that long . So, at least for now, I'm happy .

Life sucks and then you die.

jbnugget

PS - nobody ever believes me when I tell them about my doctor. But that's OK. I think they're just jealous that they don't have a doctor like that.

My doc is cool too. He gives me 60 5 mg valium a month b/c he knows I have PTSD (my mom was killed in a car crash I was there too and saw it all).

As far as trying to stay off the opies, I've given in to trammies. I figure they're probably less evil then the h-bomb and my wife won't leave me over them.

I bet a lot of people in our boat wish they had your doc!

I've got some frequent flier miles saved up... is he taking new patients? just kidding... hehe

[DarthPerineum]

Damn i need to consider moving. My doctor always seems to give me attitude when i go in, im sure he thinks im looking for free meds. He likes to tell me over and over that my scripts will not be forever... and that he will probably cut me off sooner than later. I just try to enjoy what i got.

[WarmCyanide]

" Now a question of equtique, when I pass should I give you the ass or the crouch?"


i think that was an old sig of alowishus if i remember correctly. what movie?

[DarthPerineum]

Im curious, for those bipolar opiphiles: are you scripted to anything? if so how does it work for you? do you prefer your script or what you can score off the street?

[limitless_euphoria]

Im curious, for those bipolar opiphiles: are you scripted to anything? if so how does it work for you? do you prefer your script or what you can score off the street?

I take 5 x 250 mg 24 hr release depakote pills plus up to 2 5 mg valium per day. All Rx'ed to me legit. It keeps me from screaming like a mad-man, punching holes in walls, throwing things around, breaking my shit. It's also helped me salvage relationships and my marriage. SSRI's are NOT IT. See I feel bad... I think my wife is bipolar too... she tried paxil but it really didn't do much. Our poor, poor kids though... with both parents having manic depression.

[Mcdom]

My son has bipolar d/o and he seems to do well self medicating on opiates - unfortunately he cannot find a steady suppy (he stole some of my Norcos last year and that's a HUGE no - no as I cannot function w/o them - severe pain issues).

He won't take any of the Rx'd medications and refuses treatment. He is HELL to live with at times.

Kratom has been great helping with his mood swings but I wouldn't say that it's for everyone.

[Dan Steely]

could maybe grow poppies or work on the on line pharms? or pods and seed tea. opis work great for depression its just so hard to not spiral up out of control when you like the buzz too. I'm thankful I dont like nod'n. That keeps my tolerence down a little. sorta. ive got some neck pain and bulging disks and a recent car accident that I might try to carefully work my way into a script for. Ive read faking migrains can be an ok way to sneak your way into a script if you get lucky. that kinda stuff takes some time and patience and dextarity to pull off though. but hey they make such a big difference in quality of life it would probably be worth it.

[DarthPerineum]

I take 5 x 250 mg 24 hr release depakote pills plus up to 2 5 mg valium per day. All Rx'ed to me legit. It keeps me from screaming like a mad-man, punching holes in walls, throwing things around, breaking my shit. It's also helped me salvage relationships and my marriage. SSRI's are NOT IT. See I feel bad... I think my wife is bipolar too... she tried paxil but it really didn't do much. Our poor, poor kids though... with both parents having manic depression.

Nice. Ive only recently been scripted for my BP/Disorder but sounds like you have similar symptoms as me. Lorazepam is working ok for me, when i start to jump into my extremes weither it be high or low its really extreme and has been getting worste and worste. Id like to talk to my doctor about trying something else but i have no idea how to go about doing it. Im just terribly worries he'll think im another junky looking to score, when i actuality i just want to keep myself in some form of normality.

[lolleedee]

I was dx w/ bipolar in my late teens(now thirtysomething..lost count!) I have been on probably almost every med in the world, including, but not limited to lithium, depakote, seroquel, neurontin(they thought this was a great drug for bipolar a few years back, now they give it to everyone who has nerve pain. I tried it for my legit pain from a horseback riding accident and..didn't help that either!!! Damn neurontin,,i spit on you!! *twoot*(sorry..can't spell a spit sound! sooooo twoot!!) benzos, ssri's. I got hooked on the opies after my accident and subsuquent "pain management"...All of my mania and depression was relieved by opiates (fentanyl being a yummy favorite) but my life was not functioning well for "the others". So long story short, I have landed at the methdone clinic to help w/ the other opiates, am scripted 80mg prozac and .05mg of xanax 3x a day, with a "purchase", of the 2 mg ones in the middle of the month for extra comfort. Now I feel flat and I hate it..Mania I loved, depression was so horrible, but I always forgot about that once the mania hit. OK..'nuf of my rambling!!!(Maybe my mania is starting to come back! It makes me talk up a storm)

[limitless_euphoria]

I was dx w/ bipolar in my late teens(now thirtysomething..lost count!) I have been on probably almost every med in the world, including, but not limited to lithium, depakote, seroquel, neurontin(they thought this was a great drug for bipolar a few years back, now they give it to everyone who has nerve pain. I tried it for my legit pain from a horseback riding accident and..didn't help that either!!! Damn neurontin,,i spit on you!! *twoot*(sorry..can't spell a spit sound! sooooo twoot!!) benzos, ssri's. I got hooked on the opies after my accident and subsuquent "pain management"...All of my mania and depression was relieved by opiates (fentanyl being a yummy favorite) but my life was not functioning well for "the others". So long story short, I have landed at the methdone clinic to help w/ the other opiates, am scripted 80mg prozac and .05mg of xanax 3x a day, with a "purchase", of the 2 mg ones in the middle of the month for extra comfort. Now I feel flat and I hate it..Mania I loved, depression was so horrible, but I always forgot about that once the mania hit. OK..'nuf of my rambling!!!(Maybe my mania is starting to come back! It makes me talk up a storm)

See I had an argument with my mother-in-law. She smokes like a chimney and she's SUPPOSED to quit because she has the lungs of an 85 year old woman (mind you she was born in 1953). But, she keeps huffing down those cigs... she don't care. So when my wife told her parents about when I was doing a little more than chipping and she saw me next it was not easy. While she was sympathetic to the concept of addiction she stated to me clear as day... if it weren't illegal what you did and it didn't change your personality around us and make you nod off I really wouldn't care. Cigarettes do not change my personality and it's only my body I am jeopordizing. I'm not doing anything against the law that could land me in jail and hurt my family. I guess the old lady has a point. Nonetheless, I'm an ex-smoker, and kicking butts was a walk in the PARK compared to opies... IMO anyway.

But yeah, self-medicaiton with opies... I can see it. Back when I had relatively virgin brain chemistry (I don't know how else to articulate it) I used to remember not only feeling euphoria but just feeling this well-being that was comparable to a newborn nursing from its mother. But, like all things, once you've done enough it'll never be like it was in the beginning. Never ever. I do have legit back problems and eventually I might get legit scripts for what I want or what I need who knows! Until then, I have to play by the rules of the Mrs. Oh well, it's not like she doesn't love me and have my well being at heart. She just doesn't like opies at all. She had an Rx for 45 percs after she had her appendix out and she's just like "I don't like these things."

I said to myself in my head, "Sucks to be you then.... or DOES it?"

[DarthPerineum]

With my family i take extreme care with what i use around them. As far as my family is concerned i smoke pot and thats it. It took them a while to get used to that now they make fun of me and call me a doper and all that. Everyone in my family smokes including my younger siblings, im the only one who doesnt and to be honest i truly feel that smoking is way worste. Ive always felt really poorly of smokers, i cant really explain it. Its just a disgusting habit and at least with my habit i can manage it enough to not get serious nods in front of the relatives. If i do slip and start to nod off enough for someone to notice it i can always play the i smoked pot earlyer card.

[Dan Steely]

I was dx w/ bipolar in my late teens(now thirtysomething..lost count!) I have been on probably almost every med in the world, including, but not limited to lithium, depakote, seroquel, neurontin(they thought this was a great drug for bipolar a few years back, now they give it to everyone who has nerve pain. I tried it for my legit pain from a horseback riding accident and..didn't help that either!!! Damn neurontin,,i spit on you!! *twoot*(sorry..can't spell a spit sound! sooooo twoot!!) benzos, ssri's. I got hooked on the opies after my accident and subsuquent "pain management"...All of my mania and depression was relieved by opiates (fentanyl being a yummy favorite) but my life was not functioning well for "the others". So long story short, I have landed at the methdone clinic to help w/ the other opiates, am scripted 80mg prozac and .05mg of xanax 3x a day, with a "purchase", of the 2 mg ones in the middle of the month for extra comfort. Now I feel flat and I hate it..Mania I loved, depression was so horrible, but I always forgot about that once the mania hit. OK..'nuf of my rambling!!!(Maybe my mania is starting to come back! It makes me talk up a storm)

I hear ya on the fent. I stumbled on a patch one time. I cut into pieces and used it to taper. It was awesome. No wd's and I felt brand new 24/7. Maybe the best 2 wks of my life. I miss my stickers:(

[forevadazin]

I was diagnosed Bipolar (manic depressive) like 10 years ago. Im 23 now and I've been on every perscription they give for it. Nothing really seemed to help. Either it made me feel uncomfortable or just plain didn't help. I pretty much learned to deal with it.

I go from weeks where all's I do is sleep when I have free time and im pretty unpleasant when im awake to periods where im extremly manic, barely sleeping and basically the funniest and most pleasant person around. No one knows that im diagnosed, but im sure they suspect it. I feel that letting people know, will make them justify alot of my personality to being bi-polar and I don't want that.

But honestly, try the perscriptions they will give you. I know alot of people who have found perscriptions that turned their lives around. Maybe I just don't want them to work haha.

[HeidiW]

I've had bi-polar and ADD diagnosis for as long as I can remember. Lots of MISdiagnosis' too. What sucks is when they think you're a schizophrenic. The meds for that are some awful shit.

[renton]

Wow, I never realized how many other people there on here who have the exact same story as me :D I'm 24 and was labelled ADD most my life but I always had bad mood swings. Then in my last year of high school my doc decided to put me on lithium and man it made a difference, antidepressants had never done squat for me but this stuff did. A few years later I made the mistake of getting into drinking heavily which does not go well with meds and bipolar, so I ended up having it worse than ever and ended up in the psych ward a few times. I learned my lesson since than that booz is a big no no for me but I still suffer really bad depression at times and when I get manic I get really irritable and short tempered. I would have to say that opiates are one of the few things that makes me feel actually happy and calm and helps me get along with people better. I also take Effexor and Depakote which help a bit. Right now I'm trying to get my opie use under control cause I dont get it scripted and I have a hard time controlling my use so I'm thinking about trying methadone since bupe isn't available in Canada yet.

[HeidiW]

We as opi-philes are cut from the same cloth, I'm convinced of this.;)