Sharing without the caring.

[Opiyum]

It's because I've been using by myself for the last year or so that I realized something two weeks prior to today.
During the month of April I stayed in a hotel room a few hours from where I live working in a power plant. One day on the job I was asked if I had any spare Subs on me for someone who was getting sick. I was happy to help and ended up becoming friends with the person who needed the dose. We regularly would hang out during and after work (he lived near the plant) and would exchange favors (ride to work, five bucks, some bud or coke) for each other day to day. I ended up giving him enough Subs to get through until he had an appointment with a doctor I hooked him up with so he could get his own.
So we spent a few weeks together for the most part sober. A few times he got an eightball for us to indulge in here and there. Eventually the day came for my suboxone appointment and it happened to fall on the same Monday that he got 60 40's from his doctor only a few blocks down the road.
I met a friend from where I live while we were in the city and got some darts and we headed home prescriptions in hand.
It was then that I realized, pretty quickly, that, even though we had been looking forward to this moment for a few weeks, I do not like getting high with my fellow junkies. Up until the point that we got back to my hotel with our pill bottles and needles we got along really well. It was just one of those relationships that comes without any effort. We got along great.
That is until the opi's started flowing in our system.
We had about an hour before work and directly after firing up was great. We had been in the car all day and were up way early that day so after we both got our fix we both just passed out for about half an hour. No problem here.
That night at work, on the other hand, I wanted to ring his fucking neck. Where as I wanted to lay in the trailer and nod out during our two coffee breaks and one lunch break he just wanted to make noise and be loud and talk about stupid shit.
This went on for the next few days until the pills ran out.
I should have been grateful. He had given me 6 forty's for free and I purchased 10 more at a very good price but instead I grew more and more irritated with him.
Once the pills did run out we went back to getting along great.
In the end we are still friends and I actually just met him at the hall a few days ago and hooked him up with a quarter gram of H and some rigs but it still sits funny with me, the whole experience.

I realize now that maybe it wouldn't be all that fun to meet up with some of the people I've come to know here to get high.
I now know 100% that I only grow irritated with people when I'm high. When the dope is flowing I don't care for or need the "high" or chemical reaction that you get just from being with another person.
At the same rate we did actually end up getting a few bundles when we were up there and we did have a good time then. I didn't get irritated with him then but that was because we both just nodded out to the sounds of the radio. So my irritation seems to be related to what opiate the person in my presence is using but either way I just need peace and quiet.

Is anyone else this way? I think this may be the cause, one of the causes, of all the problems that can occur in a boyfriend girlfriend type relationship. I have only dated women that didn't use and didn't know of my use.
Just wondering how many of you out there use alone for the most part and if you prefer it that way.

[nick]

Yeah bro,my use became more and more solitary.It got to the point where I'd just stay home shouting dope alone for 5 days at a time-I used to worry I'd od and then who'd feed the cats,then I relaxed because I realised the cats would eat me.

[Majortom]

Sharing will make you fool on other ass holes who try to get something out of you, believe me this never changes. So years thought me stick to your room as long as you have books to read and we all have this keyboard in our hands surf and learn whatever you want , music and as Nick says if you a pet which I have a cat as well ( he is sick when I am sick but these days he s on rock he likes the smell) thats a junkies life and chose your friends from non users..

Off course there are exceptions and once you find one the ou are the luckiest junkie on earth...

Well I ve got to run to score see you guys in an hour..

[Ragdoll]

Yeah bro,my use became more and more solitary.It got to the point where I'd just stay home shouting dope alone for 5 days at a time-I used to worry I'd od and then who'd feed the cats,then I relaxed because I realised the cats would eat me.

I literally laughed aloud at that one, Nick. I have nine cats, you know, and I used to worry about the same thing - until I admitted, and accepted, that my dear little buddies would feast on me should I die. Ah, well. Such is life.

Yes. I am quite private when it comes to my... use.

[candy]

I rarely, if ever used with anyone else. It can be difficult in a hospital situation to let others in on the game! J/k....No one caught on until years later. But, I have always enjoyed the high by myself or if I did indulge with someone else, they had to someone who wasn't a chatterbox and who could sit back and not cause me stress!

[soulninja]

I absolutely feel you on this one.Everytime i score and my"friends" drop it off i have to make some bullshit lie up to get them outta here.Its just not as enjoyable to me to be around most being when im high.It always worried me because i keep getting more and more anti-social.Guess thats the way this game is played though.


The visualization of cats feeding on owners really freaked me out...stop that shit:eek:

[RxQueen]

ooh, i'm with ya on this'n opiyum! i've always been a more solitary user than a social one.... too often, other people harsh my mellow. i've really only got one friend that i actually enjoy using with.

i guess it depends on the drug too though. it's easier for me to be around others on opiates, though i still tend to use alone more often than not. but if i'm doing coke or speed, forget it! i can still handle my one friend on stims, but i see too much of the ass-hole in others when i'm all gacked out.... cuz really, coke turns everyone (with VERY few exceptions) into assholes, myself included! also, there aren't a huge number of my friends that are down with the needle, so since that's the only way i do any stims these days, that really cuts most of 'em outta the loop.

[robojunkie]

Wow, you guys would all hate hittin' with me! I'm one of those junkies that generally can't shut up for more than 5 seconds. Rarely do I really nod and even when I can get there I think I'm actually talkingand shit withougth realizingit. I don't usewiht many people. Infact I'd say no more thanone otherpersondo I chillwith when getting loaded. No one around where I live thtt I know at least is involved in anything like H. Yeah, there's the occasional undergrad adderall/ritalin/hydro schoolboy type dudes but no junkies, and I usuallly havce pretty good junkie radar. Man, just to live near civilization again...but not too close either.

[chemboy7]

There are very few people I can tolerate being around unless I'm high, I usually prefer that the other people are stoned too. I dunno, things just flow better I suppose. That and I have some pretty severe social anxiety, that's why I gotta be high. The other people, well I guess I'm just biased more towards intoxicated individuals than those that are not... they are much less reserved and/or fake.

[Euphoricgirl]

I myself use alone and enjoy it. I do find that when I am high though I do get irritated very easily with other people and sometimes my family when they ask to many questions or talk to much so yes I do see your point completely Opi and its funny that I never realized it till now with you saying all of this. Good post.

[antigonemuse]

i totally understand. Ive got this catch 22 going. my boyfriend and i live together and have never fought until recently. I cant stand him high or wd'ing. granted he loves me more when he is high, but nasty too sometimes. ya gotta be in sink, in a good, uncramped space.... ive noticed my emotions have ranged from irratable, to violent, ta mellow when high. it can hit ya different each time. and during benders, the sleep deperrvation hits.... christ

[kyuss]

I nod alone
yeah-with nobody else

you know when
I nod alone
I prefer to be
by myself

[antigonemuse]

I nod alone
yeah-with nobody else

you know when
I nod alone
I prefer to be
by myself

yeah baby yeah.... blues riff floating around my head


i misseded u

[kyuss]

yeah baby yeah.... blues riff floating around my head


i misseded u


missed you
too

what can
we do?

it's the nature
of the blues

[bronyraur]

I agree with ya Opi.

I don't mind hanging out with fellow users, but when it comes down to getting my nod on, I like to fly solo.

I'm generally a very mellow person, but when I get loaded up for extended periods of time, I get a hair-pin trigger temper.

I can't explain why, it just is.


I'd love to meet you folks, I just don't think that using together would be a good idea.

[OpiBli$$1988]

i like being high around ppl, especially when i go to class, it makes life more tolerable..especially when a bunch of idiots are sitting around asking how your day was. i do get a little adgitated but not as much as i normally would. but then there are other times i just want to get a nod on and not be disturbed

[nick]

I should get a DO NOT DISTURB tat.

[greasy_bear]

During the month of April I stayed in a hotel room a few hours from where I live working in a power plant.
Were you at Mt. Storm, WV?
I know a guy who's a superintendent on that job. (he's really not cool)
Small world, eh?

[Chipper]

Looks like I am the only one that prefers to use with my buddies.

How else will i get revived?