My mom is in deep shit, plzzz help~

[tasteuvheaven]

hey guys...been up all night posting, can't sleep...very worried about my mother...growing up my life was really hard because my father was addicted to drugs and alcohol and very physically and mentally abusing. my mother was raised to stand by her hubbys side no matter what...what she has left? she finally hit rock bottom. she is on anti-depressants, anxiety medicine and all other sorts of things. she has been on .25mgs of xanax for over 3 yrs and same amount of mgs of paxil. (same docter all this time, asian lady) mom has been getting worst. finally she took the steps and with me and jeffs support she has moved out of the house to get away from the scumbag (my father) on top of things, this is her first time being away from our children in 3 yrs. they are her life, if it wasn't for them i know she would have killed herself already. she is to the point now that she is sitting at work all day thinking of ways to kill herself...panic attacks sooo bad that she leaves to go to work at 7am, and it takes her 3 hours to get there (a 45 min trip) because she had to pull over soo many times because she couldnt breathe and meds weren't working. i have been trying to help her sleep because ambien is no longer working and she is on highest dose. she has never EVER been a pill popper but swim has been giving her 10 mg percocets to make her sleep since it works so well. well actually swim is forking out alot of money for her to get em so she can sleep. she called tonite to tell me she can't sleep...went and seen doc today and the doctor wrote her yet another skript of .25mg xanax (20 pills, same amount she has been getting for an entire month for 3 yrs) and the doc acted like that was a pain. i asked my mother how the doctor is and if she is being honest with the doctor...she says yes and tells me that while she is there and talking the doctor pretty much ignores her and acts like she is an inconvenience. my mom doesn't want to see a different doctor and she is too softspoken (because of my father bullying her) to flat out tell the doctor she needs stronger meds. I am scared my mother is going to kill herself because she feels like she is stupid and is looney. i keep trying to tell her she is not the only one going thru what she is, "think about it mom, they didnt create anti-depressants and anxiety medicine for you" kind of ordeal. what can i do to help her? is there anything i can do as far as the doctor...and another question as far as anti-depressant meds...does your tolerance eventually go up and the meds stop working correctly just like pain medication? and shouldnt her mgs of xanax been raised after all this time, isn't or couldnt that be a reason their not working?? and why only 20 pills? man i really wanna kick this doctor bitch in the face...im so scared and don't know what to do for my mother...she is my best friend...plz fellow opiates help me on this one...if you dont reply to any of my other posts plzzz all the advice i can get is wonderful and VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!

[Dan Steely]

she almost certainly needs to see a psychiatrist. it usually takes a little shopping around to find one that is right. you are prob gonna have to take her yourself. im sorry she is so hurting. you and the kids are a great reason for her to keep trying so be hopeful.

[Babydollangel]

omg, reading this brought back terrible memories of my youth ! hmmmm. unfortunately, first off breaking the chain of an abusive relationship is hard enough within itself...without anything else involved...beleive it or not, i have traveled a very rough road involving at least at several times in my life, the exact scenerio you just described...i got shivers reading it !! I do know this through therapy, which im against by the way, but nontheless, an abusive relationship is very difficult to get out of...in fact there were many times, in the one i was in looking back, i was just as sick as he was !! theres just nothing like a good beating and great sex afterwards !!! the cycle is difficult to get out of for sure....in my situation, without going any further, some of my friends already know on here, it really wasnt my choice to get out of said situation...but thankful now i did..it did however, cost me my children...my ex got them and hasnt let me lay eyes on them since, the abusive one and i had kids also, so thankfully im blessed with them all to myself as he is in prison now but still my heart grieves the other kids..its a pain like no other..just as if a child has died, if you cant share in their growing up (and basically it boils down to a money issue with courts..whoever has the most money wins..its a fact and ex had plenty)...as far as the meds and anxiety problems you mention...... the amount taken is very small...i soooooo wish someone would have helped me with meds along time ago...i am not as mentally healthy as i should be and none of it was my doings !! and yes it seems like every time a dr gives ya meds they give you a very minute amount and make it look as if you should be very thankful to even get that !!! i finally found a dr that understands my GAD and skrips me a very generous amount of xanax. the anti depressant meds i dont like to take...she definately needs the meds and the amount you describe is very small .25 of xanax .....damn id have to swallow about 8 of them babies for a reg. dose AT LEAST....my dr told me usually psych. drs skript out the anxiety meds...i tried finding one that would and they wanted me to learn to deal with stress with deep breathing techniques and shit...well, i knew that wouldnt work....i have post traumatic stress syndrome horribly, hubby thinks im bi polar, but whatever,,..lol...i would say if i were in your shoes to do some dr shopping, calling around, also is there some kind of mental help facility? i think around here its called sabine valley, i called and they wont see you if you have insurance..but if not, its free or sliding scale....i just hope to god she doesnt go back to the abuse...to many times they do..myself included....its addictive....the abuse...it sounds horribly sick but honestly id kick ex hubby out and my kids would be so happy then the dissapointment in their eyes when i let him right back in...and this happened at least once a week if not more...hes tried to kill me, my babies have crawled through my blood cuz he threw somthing and hit me in the head and blood splattered the walls...put a gun to my side, tried to smoother me...on and on..every time the same chain of events...god just typing this out..its a sick cycle !!! VERY ADDICTIVE..always great sex afterwards....i know someone right now doing this same cycle of events...the state has taken all her children and she still will not get rid of this person.....shes 31 and he is 19 and wonders why he acts like a kid !!:rolleyes: good god..cuz he IS a kid, dumbass !
anyways, i scanned through this post, got chills reading it...been there done that more than i want to remember....no matter what....as along as she dosent go back.....things will get better..thats the main part....if she does, well, its just a chain thats hard to break !! if ya need to talk or vent pm me...ive been there and worse....all and all its up to her...the anxiety is a result of the abuse and only gets worse with time and even later on, when there is no abuse occuring and life should be normal, the emotional wounds never go away.....in fact, mentally things get worse...as much as i hate xanax i HAVE to have it..i dont see a day in life i can be wihtout it....it screws with my short term memory but life with it is vastly improved than without and its cuz of all the bullshit OTHER PEOPLE have caused in my life...i have often thought, if i beleived in reincarnation, which i dont, lol, but if i did, i must have done some really bad shit in another life to have been through as much as i have; I feel horribly punished !! Im proud to say im a survivor though :) ten people couldnt have lived my life but im still here for a reason..kids are amazing...they have been the very reason i have found it within myself to even want to freaken LIVE, so in a way they have saved my life even....isnt it terrible when living hurts too much and you pray every night not to wake up? maybe that is horribly selfish, but damn a person can only take so much!! just never ever forget....that which doesnt kill us makes us stronger !!!!!!
i feel for you ! and so sorry you are having to post this problem...this world is full of horrible people and terrible things....one thing is for certain and dont forget...she must stay away from the abuser !!!! no matter what promises he makes, gets help, counseling, whatever !! people dont change..hes done enough damage trust me...BUT she must be the one to have made up her mind she has had enough and until then, Im sorry to say, your wasting your time. But as long as she is OUT there is hope....
Im not sure what advice i have to offer cept i KNOW the pain associated with this very well ....and i wanted you to know more people than youd ever realize have been there...this is just somthing no one talks about and usually it keeps repeating itself within families all in secret....all causing destruction. as i said i dont think ive been much help but sometimes just knowing you arent alone is a really big thing...i know to me it is !!! I wish i had somthing to say positive, but unfortunately it usually is a never ending cycle...and when i said i dont believe in therapy earlier in this long ass respose to your post, i think i worded that wrong...i do to a certain extent...i just have a problem when a person has to spend 30 years in therapy rehashing the same events over and over..its like picking a scab and healing cant occur....i was in counseling for the situation above i described as i had alot of self blame, and it was through that counseling i learned i was not to blame ! maybe had three months of therapy, then acceptance, then healing started to occur, as best as can be expected with this sort of thing...i just meant i dissagree with people being in therapy all their lives and blaming what has happened in their pasts on every single thing in their lives that goes wrong....no matter what has happened to me, I myself am responsible for my actions....as should others be....but youd be surprised how many folks will blame a shitty upbringing on every bad decision they make even as an adult later on...my theory, take blame when its due, suck it up, make ammends when necessary and move on.....(thats kinda off topic here, but since therapy will surely be mentioned and i said above i dissagreed with it, i just kinda wanted to explain, i do and i dont, ya know.....theres times its lifesaving and appropriate for sure...ok just clarifying that) and sorry to ramble, but your post brought tears to my eyes and I coudlnt help but respond as you asked everyone to do....and just wanted ya to know i know the pain of all this and my heart breaks for all involved.....its a domino affect .....god if she can stay away and it be permanant, THAT in itself is HUGE........usually people put on fronts, make false promises, even appear to be better, but unfortunately people do not change !!!!!! i learned alot from those three months of therapy....but how wonderful SHE IS OUT....not to stay out...battle half won right there..cycle broken !!! i am proud to say i have done that but also will admit that my circumstances MADE me have to do it...i think id still be with him to this day if it hadnt been outta my hands....and as i said....the person that keeps in this cycle is just as sick as the abuser themselves..its hard to see when your the one in it, but once out, its really ovious....makes me nauseous right now typing this..anyways, cant say i helped much, wish i could but this is a tough one and ultimately up to others for the final outcome.....sorry my reponse is so long, but i hope you find comfort in my words that there is hope...its terrifying right now, but there is hope !
Dont know if i have helped at all...this post just hit home so much tonight...got me to thinkin about alot of shit from the past...so as long as SHE is determined she is done with that sort of life, next step clinic, or dr shopping, calling around, for help with the anxiety, depression issues...thoughts and prayers for you and hugs,

[Babydollangel]

ok...lol..me again....i was reading through your post again and wanted you to know...the xanax issue,
you are right on with the fact that 3 years and the same very tiny amount she is on.....my first lesson with drugs and addiction,which i didnt associate like that since my dr had me on them ....i just took them as he said...but my first lesson with tolerance, and physical drug dependence was with xanax...i did alot of research on it....first of all, the area of the brain it hits is the same one alcohol affects (so its like a 6 pack in a pill sort of thing..) also its DANGEROUS to just stop usage...now with her small dosage, shed very much feel it but seizure activity, i could be wrong, shouldnt be a concern at that amount but as i said im not positive....NOW, im on 6 mgs daily....last time i went to my dr i asked him to up it to one more a day as i was running short...mainly cuz of opiate wd caused me to cut into my benzos and ran out too soon and at a6 mgs you realize quickly you cannot go for long without them in your system...benzo wd is a hell i woudlnt wish on anyone...opiate wd is a walk in the park....personally three years is a very long time to be at such a small amount...i think it took my dr three months to titrate me up to the 6 mgs...i told him i felt it wasnt working so well as it did just even a week before...he upped it....NOW, when i asked for another tablet a day, he said that research shows no added benefits of dosages above 6 mgs a day....soooo, i got him to skript me restoril for sleep, another benzo...
just wanted you to know the small amount of xan. she is takin for such a long time is not really helping her much if any...the body becomes very tolerant and quickly with benzos...absolutely her dosage should be increased....a friend of mine also takes a small dosage, when needed....thats what her med. bottle says..mine says take three times daily....not as needed but do it three times a day...i try not too but through the year its gotten harder cuz of tryin to get off the opies...so it cuts into my xanax...ill betcha if she were to take a few more of those lil x's shed feel the difference...
personally i dont ever see my life without xanax but your body does get dependent on them and quickly and will punish you severly if you stop taking them....hell, if that time comes for me, im gonna just check myself into rehab..i wont even attempt another benzo taper...did it once and never again!!!! alot of drs dont agree with usage long term...like i said ive found only one to help me...i wish to god id have found one when i was younger.
i just kept reading that .25 and felt i needed to let you know thats a tiny amount likely after so long its not even helping her at all really...definately needs upped, but also be aware that the more dosage comes with it seizure risks if she were to just stop taking it...i never have to remember..my body has little electrical shock feelings and i get very aggitated if i dont take it...cant make it over a day but once almost a day went by and i was feeling weird..wondering, why since i was nicely opiated...then it dawned on me i hadnt had xan. almost all day...you never have to remember to take it..LOL..your body will scream for it and make your life hell without it...i guess once on xanax forever on it...i dont see a time in my life that im willing to tackle another benzo wd...
anyways, more info than you asked for but the amount just kept jumping out at me and the time shes been on it...
also, i might not know alot (this site is my lifeline to info.) thank god for this site, BUT i do know tons about xanax......even the scientific shit about it like it hitting the same part of the brain as alcohol...a chill pill if you will....its also a double edged sword....
sorry to be long winded and like i said, most of the things here are learning experiences for me and great info but xanax is somthing i have alot of knowledge of. if its helping her at all or ever did definately time to up that dosage big time......i just had to keep reading what you said about that...weird...the body gets tolerant to xan. prolly quicker than anything ....effectiveness wears off..
sorry to be wordy again, but wanted to chime in on the xanax deal..good luck with finding a dr to skript it out...thats the hard part...im not sure if its easy to get online...shes been to the dr so she has records to prove it...sux cuz cant use insurance though...also, cant beleive im gonna say this here but somtimes a friend of a friend of a friend might have some they dont need;) , not that id advocate that, BUT hey desperate times call for desperate measures!
anyways, holler if ya need any more info. i prolly dont know the answer but dang it ill try my best or find someone who knows !!
lotsa luck to you....

[Euphoricgirl]

Wish I could help.:( Thats a tough one. I would suggest seeing a new doc though and maybe a psych. with your help. Goodluck to you and your mom, my thoughts are with you. Babydoll also had wonderful advice.

But PS..you two need to use paragraphs before I pull my hair out.!:D

[southernbelle]

So sorry to hear about your mom! Everyone else is giving such good advice, I don't know what I can say except I think you need to go to the doc with your mom. May sound strange, but they'll let you back there with her. Please let her know we're thinking of her and not to do anything drastic!

[bronyraur]

Wow tasteuvheaven, that is a rough spot that your mom (and you) are in.

Like everyone has mentioned, she should probably see a new general practitioner and definitely see a shrink.


And while I admire you buying your mom Percocet to help her sleep at night, but very careful doing that. Yes, she's under tons of stress, but you don't want her to become mentally/physically dependent on them.

Get her to a shrink ASAP.

Much luck to the two of you.

[tasteuvheaven]

she almost certainly needs to see a psychiatrist. it usually takes a little shopping around to find one that is right. you are prob gonna have to take her yourself. im sorry she is so hurting. you and the kids are a great reason for her to keep trying so be hopeful.



im going to shop around...just hope that me having to find her a new one altogether isn't TOO late...im really scared she's going to do something to harm herself...and with her not livin here anymore, I cant protect her like it seems i have been doing forever...even when i was younger and father used to bully. and thnx for the advice

[paper skeletons]

Howdy,

She needs a new doctor. .25 mgs of xanax is nothing (that's probably a docs way of saying "there's nothing wrong with you, but maybe if you swallow a pill, you'll think you'll be happy" , and after three years, tolerance rises so much! She needs more. She needs a shrink to deal with those suicidal feelings as well. I'm sure if a lot of the minor things (like sleep) were taken care of, that It'd greatly improve her state of mind.

Percs are not the way to go for her. Doesn't sound like she needs an addiction. Plus it's a lot of dough for her. After she finds a new doc or shrink and gets on a new regimen of medication, and the sleep problem persists, maybe she can go to a sleep clinic? They'll probably find the cause of the sleep disturbances and suggest a good treatment.

Cheers!

[tasteuvheaven]

omg, reading this brought back terrible memories of my youth ! hmmmm. unfortunately, first off breaking the chain of an abusive relationship is hard enough within itself...without anything else involved...beleive it or not, i have traveled a very rough road involving at least at several times in my life, the exact scenerio you just described...i got shivers reading it !! I do know this through therapy, which im against by the way, but nontheless, an abusive relationship is very difficult to get out of...in fact there were many times, in the one i was in looking back, i was just as sick as he was !! theres just nothing like a good beating and great sex afterwards !!! the cycle is difficult to get out of for sure....in my situation, without going any further, some of my friends already know on here, it really wasnt my choice to get out of said situation...but thankful now i did..it did however, cost me my children...my ex got them and hasnt let me lay eyes on them since, the abusive one and i had kids also, so thankfully im blessed with them all to myself as he is in prison now but still my heart grieves the other kids..its a pain like no other..just as if a child has died, if you cant share in their growing up (and basically it boils down to a money issue with courts..whoever has the most money wins..its a fact and ex had plenty)...as far as the meds and anxiety problems you mention...... the amount taken is very small...i soooooo wish someone would have helped me with meds along time ago...i am not as mentally healthy as i should be and none of it was my doings !! and yes it seems like every time a dr gives ya meds they give you a very minute amount and make it look as if you should be very thankful to even get that !!! i finally found a dr that understands my GAD and skrips me a very generous amount of xanax. the anti depressant meds i dont like to take...she definately needs the meds and the amount you describe is very small .25 of xanax .....damn id have to swallow about 8 of them babies for a reg. dose AT LEAST....my dr told me usually psych. drs skript out the anxiety meds...i tried finding one that would and they wanted me to learn to deal with stress with deep breathing techniques and shit...well, i knew that wouldnt work....i have post traumatic stress syndrome horribly, hubby thinks im bi polar, but whatever,,..lol...i would say if i were in your shoes to do some dr shopping, calling around, also is there some kind of mental help facility? i think around here its called sabine valley, i called and they wont see you if you have insurance..but if not, its free or sliding scale....i just hope to god she doesnt go back to the abuse...to many times they do..myself included....its addictive....the abuse...it sounds horribly sick but honestly id kick ex hubby out and my kids would be so happy then the dissapointment in their eyes when i let him right back in...and this happened at least once a week if not more...hes tried to kill me, my babies have crawled through my blood cuz he threw somthing and hit me in the head and blood splattered the walls...put a gun to my side, tried to smoother me...on and on..every time the same chain of events...god just typing this out..its a sick cycle !!! VERY ADDICTIVE..always great sex afterwards....i know someone right now doing this same cycle of events...the state has taken all her children and she still will not get rid of this person.....shes 31 and he is 19 and wonders why he acts like a kid !!:rolleyes: good god..cuz he IS a kid, dumbass !
anyways, i scanned through this post, got chills reading it...been there done that more than i want to remember....no matter what....as along as she dosent go back.....things will get better..thats the main part....if she does, well, its just a chain thats hard to break !! if ya need to talk or vent pm me...ive been there and worse....all and all its up to her...the anxiety is a result of the abuse and only gets worse with time and even later on, when there is no abuse occuring and life should be normal, the emotional wounds never go away.....in fact, mentally things get worse...as much as i hate xanax i HAVE to have it..i dont see a day in life i can be wihtout it....it screws with my short term memory but life with it is vastly improved than without and its cuz of all the bullshit OTHER PEOPLE have caused in my life...i have often thought, if i beleived in reincarnation, which i dont, lol, but if i did, i must have done some really bad shit in another life to have been through as much as i have; I feel horribly punished !! Im proud to say im a survivor though :) ten people couldnt have lived my life but im still here for a reason..kids are amazing...they have been the very reason i have found it within myself to even want to freaken LIVE, so in a way they have saved my life even....isnt it terrible when living hurts too much and you pray every night not to wake up? maybe that is horribly selfish, but damn a person can only take so much!! just never ever forget....that which doesnt kill us makes us stronger !!!!!!
i feel for you ! and so sorry you are having to post this problem...this world is full of horrible people and terrible things....one thing is for certain and dont forget...she must stay away from the abuser !!!! no matter what promises he makes, gets help, counseling, whatever !! people dont change..hes done enough damage trust me...BUT she must be the one to have made up her mind she has had enough and until then, Im sorry to say, your wasting your time. But as long as she is OUT there is hope....
Im not sure what advice i have to offer cept i KNOW the pain associated with this very well ....and i wanted you to know more people than youd ever realize have been there...this is just somthing no one talks about and usually it keeps repeating itself within families all in secret....all causing destruction. as i said i dont think ive been much help but sometimes just knowing you arent alone is a really big thing...i know to me it is !!! I wish i had somthing to say positive, but unfortunately it usually is a never ending cycle...and when i said i dont believe in therapy earlier in this long ass respose to your post, i think i worded that wrong...i do to a certain extent...i just have a problem when a person has to spend 30 years in therapy rehashing the same events over and over..its like picking a scab and healing cant occur....i was in counseling for the situation above i described as i had alot of self blame, and it was through that counseling i learned i was not to blame ! maybe had three months of therapy, then acceptance, then healing started to occur, as best as can be expected with this sort of thing...i just meant i dissagree with people being in therapy all their lives and blaming what has happened in their pasts on every single thing in their lives that goes wrong....no matter what has happened to me, I myself am responsible for my actions....as should others be....but youd be surprised how many folks will blame a shitty upbringing on every bad decision they make even as an adult later on...my theory, take blame when its due, suck it up, make ammends when necessary and move on.....(thats kinda off topic here, but since therapy will surely be mentioned and i said above i dissagreed with it, i just kinda wanted to explain, i do and i dont, ya know.....theres times its lifesaving and appropriate for sure...ok just clarifying that) and sorry to ramble, but your post brought tears to my eyes and I coudlnt help but respond as you asked everyone to do....and just wanted ya to know i know the pain of all this and my heart breaks for all involved.....its a domino affect .....god if she can stay away and it be permanant, THAT in itself is HUGE........usually people put on fronts, make false promises, even appear to be better, but unfortunately people do not change !!!!!! i learned alot from those three months of therapy....but how wonderful SHE IS OUT....not to stay out...battle half won right there..cycle broken !!! i am proud to say i have done that but also will admit that my circumstances MADE me have to do it...i think id still be with him to this day if it hadnt been outta my hands....and as i said....the person that keeps in this cycle is just as sick as the abuser themselves..its hard to see when your the one in it, but once out, its really ovious....makes me nauseous right now typing this..anyways, cant say i helped much, wish i could but this is a tough one and ultimately up to others for the final outcome.....sorry my reponse is so long, but i hope you find comfort in my words that there is hope...its terrifying right now, but there is hope !
Dont know if i have helped at all...this post just hit home so much tonight...got me to thinkin about alot of shit from the past...so as long as SHE is determined she is done with that sort of life, next step clinic, or dr shopping, calling around, for help with the anxiety, depression issues...thoughts and prayers for you and hugs,

long post, but needed to read it...it is nice to find out someone can truley relate to me. that is very hard to find, people say they understand and try to act like they really do, but no way can they understand what goes thru your mind and how you feel in your heart. so thank you for that.

[tasteuvheaven]

Wow tasteuvheaven, that is a rough spot that your mom (and you) are in.

Like everyone has mentioned, she should probably see a new general practitioner and definitely see a shrink.


And while I admire you buying your mom Percocet to help her sleep at night, but very careful doing that. Yes, she's under tons of stress, but you don't want her to become mentally/physically dependent on them.

Get her to a shrink ASAP.

Much luck to the two of you.


one thing i can say about my mom...is we know how quickly you can become addicted and go thru w/d's from opiates...but she takes her meds exactly like she is supposed to..and she has been on pain meds b4...with the 10's she is only taking a half of one every night faithfully, sometimes skips nights, and never EVER takes em any other time. and for some reason when she stops taking em she never gets w/d's...thanks for the advice but i think im covered on that end.:o

[Raz]

Mate, i know shit, but that cunt abusin your mum needs some of the same done to him. Although a bit more severe. Maybe if he got a severe "Tune up" he would think twice b4 fuckin with your family again. Sorry for my 10 cents worth, but in my experience the authorities aint worth shit.And these cunts only understand one thing ; the fear of violence. Sad but true. Lets hope you have one mean motherfucker as a good friend and give the cunt what he deserves...... peace Raz

[Somanax]

Mate, i know shit, but that cunt abusin your mum needs some of the same done to him. Although a bit more severe. Maybe if he got a severe "Tune up" he would think twice b4 fuckin with your family again. Sorry for my 10 cents worth, but in my experience the authorities aint worth shit.And these cunts only understand one thing ; the fear of violence. Sad but true. Lets hope you have one mean motherfucker as a good friend and give the cunt what he deserves...... peace Raz


100% agreement on the tune up. I don't know if it would take a mean motherfucker, seeing as how his

chosen victim is a woman. In my opinion it would take one compassionate person, and one ball bat to

deliver what this guy desperately deserve's, and quite possibly change his attitude toward the mother

of his own daughter and if not repeat as needed. In all seriousness, I understand medical cost's and

your mother's reluctance to change DR.s however maybe you could accompany your mother and

make sure she is able to communicate the extent of and or escalation of her symptom's to her DR.

[tasteuvheaven]

Mate, i know shit, but that cunt abusin your mum needs some of the same done to him. Although a bit more severe. Maybe if he got a severe "Tune up" he would think twice b4 fuckin with your family again. Sorry for my 10 cents worth, but in my experience the authorities aint worth shit.And these cunts only understand one thing ; the fear of violence. Sad but true. Lets hope you have one mean motherfucker as a good friend and give the cunt what he deserves...... peace Raz


well hubby has put him on crutches for over a month, and about a month ago he grabbed me up and i beat his face in. dad is huge im 135 and hes like 350. hes dying and going to continue to die a mean death, and alone. he has scerosis of the liver (deteriorating from drinkin for soo many years) he has mrsa and copd because of the smoking, not to mention (excuse my terms) pissing complete streams of blood...so not looking good. doesn't justify anything he has done by all means, he has fucked my mother up mentally pretty bad, and i will suffer the rest of my life.

[tasteuvheaven]

100% agreement on the tune up. I don't know if it would take a mean motherfucker, seeing as how his

chosen victim is a woman. In my opinion it would take one compassionate person, and one ball bat to

deliver what this guy desperately deserve's, and quite possibly change his attitude toward the mother

of his own daughter and if not repeat as needed. In all seriousness, I understand medical cost's and

your mother's reluctance to change DR.s however maybe you could accompany your mother and

make sure she is able to communicate the extent of and or escalation of her symptom's to her DR.

whats also sad is that his daughter was a victim as well...not just my mom but me.

[Babydollangel]

Wish I could help.:( Thats a tough one. I would suggest seeing a new doc though and maybe a psych. with your help. Goodluck to you and your mom, my thoughts are with you. Babydoll also had wonderful advice.


But PS..you two need to use paragraphs before I pull my hair out.!:D
el

eg, you know i love ya girl...soooooo, taking up for myself here....im not totally uhh how do i put this... 'myself' and havent been for a few days....the thought did occur to me though when typing all that shit:rolleyes: so your right better punctuation should have been followed but again.....its the least on my mind right now..lol....
also, ignore my posting etiquite (i know thats spelled wrong too...haha.) but beleive it or not im college educated ...lol..looking at some of my posts made me kinda think ...look illiterate, but not so...
sorry for the frustration and just for you ill try to do better:cool:
today, hell the entire week, hasnt been good for me...please just look past my terrible posting manners right now.
Muah! and big hugs to ya!

[Babydollangel]

well hubby has put him on crutches for over a month, and about a month ago he grabbed me up and i beat his face in. dad is huge im 135 and hes like 350. hes dying and going to continue to die a mean death, and alone. he has scerosis of the liver (deteriorating from drinkin for soo many years) he has mrsa and copd because of the smoking, not to mention (excuse my terms) pissing complete streams of blood...so not looking good. doesn't justify anything he has done by all means, he has fucked my mother up mentally pretty bad, and i will suffer the rest of my life.

want to keep adding to this...yes the bastard needs an attitude adjustment....the mental abuse will never go away you are right on about that....make sure she stays away ....more times than not they go back.....thats half the battle there as i said...and it seems the men that do this to women are such pussies and dont have the balls to do it to another man..and it screws up every single person exposed to the abuse....im living proof of this kind of hell. chain has to be broken somewhere..unfortunately mental damage cant be undone and likely as time goes on, will cause more mental pain..i wish stupid fucks, esp raising kids, would stop to think a sec bout someone besides themselves how horrible this is...so sickening !! and yes, ive said many times, almost from birth, my life has been horrid...i didnt ask to be born !! im hoping and praying for the best for your family....and yes many dont and cant understand ...life is like that...some have it easy others tend to deal with constant shit that literally makes ya wonder why you were born...god i hope you get on this asap and get her some help and i agree with not letting the pain killer addiction get ahold of her on top of it all...i always make comments to my hubby such as 'well, i take pain meds....my heart is in pain"...as i said too much damage done already AS LONG AS SHE DOESNT GO BACK there is a shot in the dark for her to recover..never completely but enough to have a better life....its the going back part that concerns me!!

[RxQueen]

tasteuvheaven.... so sorry to hear that all this is going on in your life! i didn't read all the responses yet, so sorry if someone already suggested this...

you say that your mom is too softspoken to tell her doctor flat-out that her meds aren't enough anymore. and that the doctor seems to be one of the types that doesn't care much about her patients. my first gut reaction is to tell you,

1) she should find a new doctor, and
2) whether or not she does, or if she continues to see her current one -- you should absolutely go with her. i mean actually go back to the exam room with your mom to act as an advocate of sorts. your mom needs to have her problems taken seriously by medical/psychological professionals. usually this means having the guts to stand up to a doc who seems to be blowing off an issue.

please don't hesitate to tell the doctor how profoundly your mom's life is being affected by the anxiety issues. panic attacks are serious stuff, and if her current doctor doesn't see it this way at her very next appointment (with you there), try really hard to get your mom to change doctors.

i hope this helps. maybe once her anxiety is better controlled, she'll have more strength to deal with the other problems stemming from the abuse. my heart goes out to both of you.... this shit happens far too much in this world. stay strong, and best wishes!

[tasteuvheaven]

tasteuvheaven.... so sorry to hear that all this is going on in your life! i didn't read all the responses yet, so sorry if someone already suggested this...

you say that your mom is too softspoken to tell her doctor flat-out that her meds aren't enough anymore. and that the doctor seems to be one of the types that doesn't care much about her patients. my first gut reaction is to tell you,

1) she should find a new doctor, and
2) whether or not she does, or if she continues to see her current one -- you should absolutely go with her. i mean actually go back to the exam room with your mom to act as an advocate of sorts. your mom needs to have her problems taken seriously by medical/psychological professionals. usually this means having the guts to stand up to a doc who seems to be blowing off an issue.

please don't hesitate to tell the doctor how profoundly your mom's life is being affected by the anxiety issues. panic attacks are serious stuff, and if her current doctor doesn't see it this way at her very next appointment (with you there), try really hard to get your mom to change doctors.

i hope this helps. maybe once her anxiety is better controlled, she'll have more strength to deal with the other problems stemming from the abuse. my heart goes out to both of you.... this shit happens far too much in this world. stay strong, and best wishes!


I have decided to start things off by calling her shrink first thing monday morning when office opens..im going to try to get her an appt and im going to go with her..unlike her, i will say straight out, my mother might not know a whole lot about these meds but i do, and after 3 yrs the damn xanax isnt working anymore, its like shes taking a tylenol. same with the anti depressant, and shes telling you sleepin meds arent working, so basically your getting paid every two weeks to fuckin accomplish nothing. how about try new sleep meds? up dose of xanax to something that will work?? they worked in the beginning so i know they can work, but she needs right dose...as far as anti depressant, why keep givin her this non working shit? I am very loud and outspoken, and my mother is and has been being treated badly by this bitch, and she better not treat her like that while im there...i have worked in hospitals and i have been taught what to do in situations like this when i went to college for MA, biller &encoding, as well as transcriptionist. this is obviously one of the docs who came here from asia to have a better life, got educated and let the money get to her head. she is only there for the money not for the health of her own patients and it needs to be dealt with. only thing im worried about, and i dunno if she can even do something like this...but if mom is sitting at work for 12 hours a day thinking about how she can kill herself...and i tell the doc uhm, im worried she is going to do something...can she try to put my mom away or something for that? thank you guys for all your advice and support, means sooo much. i go thru what my mom does, but i deal with things differently because of the things i dealt with. same as her, but i was the child and i know he will never walk all over me or hurt me like he did when i was younger, cuz ill kill the bastard in his sleep. I should be put on meds too but too lazy to go to the shrink...i have sooo much hatred anger and just blah everything bottled up inside me...so thnx for listening to me babble..i will keep you guys posted and once again thank you for everything

[nick]

1.Find a cool doc-I know that's not easy,but try.
2.Go with her-make sure you're both happy with her care plan.
3.Don't give her percs-she really doesn't need another problem.
4.Raz is going the Sarf London route and oddly it can work-last resort.
5.Keep a close eye on her and give her lots of support-not hard because you obviously care a lot for her.
6.Much good luck.