Helping out or just enabling

[chucky]

Recently haven gotten home from a travelling working trip, and upon my arriving home late last week got a disturbing message. A good friend of mine had been fired for refusing a drug test, and we all know why. I have known said person for many years and spent a good many time of them high with him, so we are somewhat close. He moved out here to cali years ago to get clean(though that didn't fuckin work now did it) which he did for a short while, but he was one of the functioning junkies that could maintain a job most of the time unlike me who was just a mess and lived for one and one thing only. Anyway we don't need a full background, so he has asked me for a job knowing that I'm currently in the postion to give one, and this is my dilema. give him the job and watch him blow his money and life away. This option seems very bleak and not long lasting in my opnion, so whould I ask him to get on methadone then he will get employed,tell him to get fucked (I doubt I would to this), or just not give a fuck and give him the job?
Any suggestions or observations are appreciated as I know this is the place to ask.
:cool:

P.S. My thought and prayes go out to the victims of Hurricane Katrina and Rita.Lets hope for a quick rebuild of our great city of New Orleans!!!

[bi11i]

as long as he's able to do the job and do it well, it's not your business what he does with his income. Help a guy out, give him the job.

[Paregoric Kid]

yeah, if he is able to do the job what does it matter what he does with his money?

[itohismzre4me]

Hello Chucky. You can call me Gene if you like. I am brand new to this forum. I am 49 years old and a "recovering" alcoholic and poly drug user. I have read some of your posts and I can relate to most of your feelings. I have basically been clean and sober for 15 years> Initially I got sober through 12 step programs although it has been some time since I have been to a meeting. I work as a substance abuse counselor now and have for the last 10 years. I can't say that my life is bad but I am not happy after doing the recovery thing. I have things, am gainfully employed, have not been arrested for about 17 years, and don't have any dope man looking for me to pay my tab. I have friends but have not done the marriage and kid thing because, I think, that I don't want to take a chance on screwing up any one elses lives or I have a deep fear of intimacy. The point is I am tired of not waking up at all excited about life. I have been thinking about a return to using drugs and opiates are all that is left for me that I had any appeal. I abused everthing else until I became burnt out on it all. My guess is that I will never be truly happy due to what ever it is that is wrong with me be genetic defect, psych problems, emotional damage or just unreasonable expectations. At least when I was using there was some excitement in my life even if there was a lot of pain also. At any rate you sound like you have trudged the path addiction and I would appreciate any feed back you may have. I can stay clean. I know how to do that but I am thinking seriously about choosing to start getting high again. If I do I want to try to do it as smart as I can. I have some small resources that I did not have when I was using. I want to do lots of research before I jump back into usage and the drug culture. If you are interested in conversation let me know.

I did not intend to in anyway change your desire or hope for recovery. I know a lot of people that seem to be very happy and content in recovery. I also know that most people that continue to try and get clean and sober usually do. Some quicker than others but still most people end up being successfull at long term abstinence.

[HeidiW]

Give him the job. Maybe this way you can half-assed keep an eye on him. If he wants to get high, he'll figure out a way to do so, whether he's working for you or not.

[Cornburglar]

Recently haven gotten home from a travelling working trip, and upon my arriving home late last week got a disturbing message. A good friend of mine had been fired for refusing a drug test, and we all know why. I have known said person for many years and spent a good many time of them high with him, so we are somewhat close. He moved out here to cali years ago to get clean(though that didn't fuckin work now did it) which he did for a short while, but he was one of the functioning junkies that could maintain a job most of the time unlike me who was just a mess and lived for one and one thing only. Anyway we don't need a full background, so he has asked me for a job knowing that I'm currently in the postion to give one, and this is my dilema. give him the job and watch him blow his money and life away. This option seems very bleak and not long lasting in my opnion, so whould I ask him to get on methadone then he will get employed,tell him to get fucked (I doubt I would to this), or just not give a fuck and give him the job?
Any suggestions or observations are appreciated as I know this is the place to ask.
:cool:

P.S. My thought and prayes go out to the victims of Hurricane Katrina and Rita.Lets hope for a quick rebuild of our great city of New Orleans!!!

Enabaling is fucking AA speak. If you're using, you're a hypocrite. Give him a job like you're none the wiser. If a motherfucker can't keep a job, he can't keep a job. If he can, he can. People fire themselves. Quit being such a hardass, boss.