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Woowoo
04-09-2007, 09:14 PM
e·piph·a·ny
n. 1. A sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something.
2. A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization.


I'd like to share a story of something that happen to me years ago... This story is a trip and I swear that every word of it is true. I'm not trying to evangelize anybody here, just telling you what happened to me. Here goes ...

So the year was 1993 or so. I had been clean of heroin for several years and had become a real "granola hippie" ... I don't eat de meat, I don't smoke de crack, living the clean life. But you know how these thoughts have a way of creeping into our heads ... and a friend of mine who lived in Miami was getting the real righteous blow ... the rocky stuff where the dealer cuts off your eightball with a KNIFE cuz it's so solid and scaley, and you drop it in water and *poof* it vanishes, no discernable cut, no need for heat. You get the picture.

So me and my drug addled mind starts to spin its wheels and pretty soon I decide that all I need to do is make a few phone calls and get hooked up with two eightballs of this killer coke. A quick drive up to West Palm Beach and I walk out with a bunch of fresh 1cc rigs.

Only thing left to do is go down to Miami to score. While I'm driving in my car I pop in a tape of my favorite musical troupe, the Grateful Dead. I'm listening to the singer Brent, who happened to have died a few years prior. The newspapers reported "an overdose of morphine and cocaine" but let's face facts, you don't overdose on both drugs. One of them killed him, and I think we all know which one. He did a little too much coke and had a heart seizure plain and simple. So as I'm driving down the highway I am becoming acutely aware of this irony, listening to this dead man sing.

I suddenly was overcome with a strong emotion ... it's like one of those intuitive feelings. All my life I've felt lucky when it comes to drugs, sort of felt invulerable. But I had this god-awful feeling that my luck wasn't with me that day. I just knew that if I went through with this something bad might happen. I really started to think things like "This could be the day that I die."

So I did something that I never did before in my entire life ... I prayed. Understand I'm not a religious person but it was sort of a "Pascal's Wager" type thing. If I pray and nobody's listening, then what harm has it done me? But if somebody actually is listening, then great!! So I awkwardly assemble a prayer that went sort of like this, and I said it out loud, to the windshield of my car:

Uh... God?? I know I'm not your most perfect human specimen but I don't ask You for much, but today I got something to ask of You. I feel like I really might be making a mistake here. If You in Your wisdom could find someway to help me survive this day, well, you know ... maybe I'll learn to do the right thing one day...

OK so it wasn't the Lord's Prayer quality, but it was sincere. Now here's where things started to get trippy. As soon as I was done, the accellerator to my new car stopped functioning. The car was just coasting and even if I floored the pedal, nothing. I couldn't give the engine a drop of gasoline.

My car coasted right to the side of the road and I got out immediately, with my tye-die shirt and my long shaggy hair, and it was a genuine epiphany as defined above. Suddenly I knew, this couldn't just be a coincidence. I had a new problem on my hand--how to get my car to a mechanics shop, and to make matters worse I was the kind of freak that few people would stop to help (save another freak).

So I'm standing there on the side of I-95, with light beaming out of my head and everything, and sure enough, a van pulled over within about a minute, filled with freaks. But I could tell from the bumper sticks on their van they weren't drug freaks--they were JESUS FREAKS.

They immediately gave me a ride where I could use a telephone and I'll spare you the details, but an incredible string of very lucky events allowed me to get my car back up north to a mechanic within less than an hour. (A friend I hadn't seen in years was nearby and he happened to own a tow truck! How's that for lucky??) It's as if there was a wall preventing me from going to Miami that day, but freely encouraging me to go back to my home up north.

When I get home I call my connect in Miami and he says "Where the fuck are you?? Don't leave me holding the bag!" I calmly explained to him that I had a religious epiphany and I can't be seeing him today. He thought I was out of my mind, and I guess I was.

Incidentally it turned out that a doohickey called a "fuel pump relay" must have been a factory defect and that's what caused my car to stop. So everything in this story can be explained with normal physics and a large degree of coincidence. But from my point of view it's like this: I've prayed one time in my entire life, and it was answered in spades. I honestly believe I'd be dead today were it not for divine intervention.

So whenever I'm feeling down I try to remember that day, and remember the feeling I had when I was stranded on the side of I-95. There's more to this world than meets the eye...

Ragdoll
04-11-2007, 02:11 PM
Yep. That epiphany experience is all any of us are looking for, however we occupy ourselves in the search for it.

nick
04-11-2007, 02:31 PM
or maybe if your car hadn't fucked up,you'd have got to miami and had the best time of your life.

euphoria2002
04-11-2007, 07:56 PM
or maybe if your car hadn't fucked up,you'd have got to miami and had the best time of your life.

Ah Nick! Or should I say........... Satan?
Now your name makes sense!!!
:D

Euphoria

robojunkie
04-14-2007, 01:19 AM
We are the bastard children of the universe, abandoned to find hope and purpose or to give up and seek immediate fulfillment and live for the day. Not sure which is better/worse.

It's all coincidince, I've asked/prayed/begged/whatever for some sign that a scientific "intellectual" like myself would buy (after all this isn't arrogance or presumption in the face of god, if he "made" me, he made me and all that is me and my mind and way of thinking). Yet, nothing. Nothing but the same senselessness in the world I see everyday. The closest thing to god I've ever seen or felt is love and opiates, and they're both human emotions/sensations.

Hell I'd love to believe that I haven't died of an OD or AIDS/HIV or police shooting or endocarditis or HepC or whatever the fuck else while so many others who did the same shit have or are for some purpose but what? What purpose? Why anyway, I still just want to do the same shit anyway, the only people other than family I want to help are other junkies and outcasts of this society. But if logic and reason can't end the drug war, I can't. If the greatest Nobel winning chemists, biologists and doctors can't cure the AIDS, I doubt I ever will. So what the fuck is the point? No point. Live for the day is all I can see, other than to take care of family and friends as best I can. And maybe try the others, however hopeless they may be. Oh fuck it its past 2 am and I'm waitin' for the stims to wear off, I would like to sleep. No opes but some done to get by...nothing to look forward to though, as usual. Fuck, if there's a god and he/she/it actually gives a shit and we're not just some ant farm experiment, then why so many assholes in the world? And if its just "free will", why make human nature so ugly? Come on religious and/or spiritual people, you must have something plausible you believe that explains this stuff...

clinton
04-14-2007, 03:31 AM
nice story...
jung talks about it quite a bit...synchronicity..read about it

ProdigalSon
04-15-2007, 08:26 AM
Damn right RJ, live for the day. You aint promised a fucking thing in the next 5 minutes, right? Unless you got some deal with God and that fucker abandoned me

nick
04-15-2007, 08:29 AM
Damn right RJ, live for the day. You aint promised a fucking thing in the next 5 minutes, right? Unless you got some deal with God and that fucker abandoned me

There is no god-sorry,I'm a commie atheist.

robojunkie
04-15-2007, 09:20 AM
Damn right RJ, live for the day. You aint promised a fucking thing in the next 5 minutes, right? Unless you got some deal with God and that fucker abandoned me

Yeah, pill that's exactly how I feel. If there is a god I tend to think it more likely than anything else that we (the universe, evolution, human society and how we treat each other) are just simply the ultimate "Sims" game for him. One big billions year experiment. I mean shit, I kinda feel like we're all abandoned. Look at this shit. Look at what Heidi's gotta deal with, no fairness there. What you've had to deal with, seein' your buddies get cut down thousands of miles from home, and some not. Why them and not others, right? And me, saw so many friends and aquantances die from ODs or the AIDS or just give up, abandoned, yet I made it through pretty clean and alive. Not cause of god though, cause of my daughter and some, but not enough, will power on my part. Why, why do we live on and others fall out? How's that fair or the evidence of a "caring" god? Hell maybe nick's right and there just ain't one. It sure would explain shit in the world better...I don't know man, its like when ya try to do the right thing its almost like the results are no better or worse than when ya just don't give a shit for awhile. I just don't know man.

HandMeSomeOpiates
04-18-2007, 07:48 PM
Great story! I'm a strong believer in Christ and nothing will ever change that. Like one bumper sticker I saw reads "If you say there isn't a God, You Damn well better be right!"

Badly Drawn Girl
04-18-2007, 07:57 PM
I'm Quaker, and do not consider myself a Christian. I absolutely, 100% believe in God. I just don't spend a lot of time trying to figure out what he/she/it is. I've had too many spiritual experiences in my life to write God off. I was an atheist for a very long time.

I don't believe in Hell, and I'm not too sold on the idea of Heaven either, but I do believe in an afterlife. Again, too many experiences for me to believe otherwise. (I swear my dead Grandma spent the first year post-death living in my house. True story)

Quakers believe that God is inside everyone. It's what makes us human. To me it's the little voice in my head that tries to steer me the right way. Do I always listen to that voice? Of course not. But I do believe that God speaks to me and when I listen, things do seem to go right more often than not. Unfortunately the right path isn't always much fun... lol

nick
04-19-2007, 04:46 AM
I'm Quaker, and do not consider myself a Christian. I absolutely, 100% believe in God. I just don't spend a lot of time trying to figure out what he/she/it is. I've had too many spiritual experiences in my life to write God off. I was an atheist for a very long time.

I don't believe in Hell, and I'm not too sold on the idea of Heaven either, but I do believe in an afterlife. Again, too many experiences for me to believe otherwise. (I swear my dead Grandma spent the first year post-death living in my house. True story)

Quakers believe that God is inside everyone. It's what makes us human. To me it's the little voice in my head that tries to steer me the right way. Do I always listen to that voice? Of course not. But I do believe that God speaks to me and when I listen, things do seem to go right more often than not. Unfortunately the right path isn't always much fun... lol

Umm so you believe because of the voices in your head.

Sorry BDG sis,I'm just joking.

I guess I believe in;light,life and love.Oh and H-of course.Nothing else really makes any sense.Maybe I lack imagination.

Badly Drawn Girl
04-19-2007, 12:16 PM
Umm so you believe because of the voices in your head.

Sorry BDG sis,I'm just joking.

LMAO! Good one Nick :)

Woowoo
04-19-2007, 01:40 PM
By the way, the moral of my story is not "And this is why know that God exists" or any such thing. I'm just relating an experience.

But if you asked me on that day, standing on the side of the road, if God exists, then I would have been quite firm in my convictions.

But then time passes, we forget things, and looking back I just don't have the clarity that I had during that moment when the "Holy Spirit was in me."

Maybe one day I'll get to the pearly gates and God will ask me "So why didn't you believe in Me?" And I'll say "Because I was an intellectual, and I demanded proof!" Then God will tell me "For most atheists that's an acceptible excuse. But in your case I did give you proof and you still didn't believe!" Ut oh...

GOING ..... DOWN!!

Opiyum
04-19-2007, 01:45 PM
Umm so you believe because of the voices in your head.

Sorry BDG sis,I'm just joking.

I guess I believe in;light,life and love.Oh and H-of course.Nothing else really makes any sense.Maybe I lack imagination.

The beggining. Ole Nick is starting to see the picture. Let's all keep watching to see what else he learns....

slugbone
04-19-2007, 01:48 PM
Umm so you believe because of the voices in your head.

Sorry BDG sis,I'm just joking.

I guess I believe in;light,life and love.Oh and H-of course.Nothing else really makes any sense.Maybe I lack imagination.


sounds like you hold a bit of buddhist philosophy nick; life is suffering and random and everything should be questioned and investigated. perhaps you are a misplaced bodhisattva.