Using Dreams

[chucky]

Driving slowly down the city streets looking for my dealer, and waiting for my phone to ring. The sone of a bitch is never on time and he never answers his phone when he is late. Finally after ten minutes and what seems like a eternity my phone rings and he tells me to meet him on market street and informs me the price has gone up for the bundle. I whip a u-turn and fly down sixty second and whip it onto market nearly carreening into a old lady trying to cross the street. I see my man on the corner , wearing his long plan white t shirt like most dope dealers I know on the streets. I cop my shit and head for the nearest restroom for some water to mix my shit. I pull into wendys and head straight for the shitter, and slide a fix on home...........

Waking up with sweat pouring from every inch of my body I check my arms to see if it was real. Had I really went and copped and then just passed out, or was this another one of my using dreams that I get about once a month. Luckily it was just a dream , but real enough to make me look for needle marks to make sure. I have been clean now for nearly ten months and atleast once a month I have a extremely real dream that involves using heroin. I wonder sometimes if they will ever go away or if this is part of the deal of being clean. These dreams are very disturbing and even after relizing that it is just that , a dream, sometimes I feeling like going and scoring. Weird how opiates just won't leave uys alone.:cool:

[furber]

I too have had dreams like that the only problem is that i always wake up just before i have the hit,annoying to say the least.

[jacky]

sometimes I get to use in my dreams, but I am usually plauged by bad water, broken rigs, rusty needles, filthy conditions,bent this and that. people are always screwing up my shot, I inject and blow up a vein etc. or the cops are standing next to me.
sometimes the junk would turn into faceted multicolored space junk.....and the high would transform reality...weird shit.
there are times that I am succesful, and rewarded with lucid using experiences where I am noticable high in my dreams. once I even had a few good shots of yellow dalaudid water......
but that is a rarity, mostly it is frustration and senselesness and cursing.

[Peripat]

I have those dreams too. (Or I did, when I could stay off the gear for more than a month at a time anyway...)

Sometimes I'd get high, but most times I'd be trying to score and just about to, or mixing up and about to take a hit, when I'd wake up. Total frustration, or what?

[Ogre]

I had a dream that I had a bundle of dope and right when I thought "I'm gonna get high" I woke up, When I did I thought the dream was real for a few minutes, I really looked around for it, looked in my stash spots and everything. Then I remembered it was a dream, I was so dope at the time too, now that almost drove me over the edge.
I've had plenty of other crazy dope dreams too.

[rebo]

Only ever once did I get a hit in a dream and it was before I ever used ,scince then not once ,I think its genetic!!!

[katomic]

Yer i had a dream i hit H and it was real good but i have never used H

[Philadelphia]

I think I have a using dream everynight. Some times they get so bad I think it actually fucks me up

[skeletontea]

Last night I dreamt that I was at a party, but it was in a dirty bathroom/lounge area. Some skinny guy in a white wifebeater was shooting people up. I don't use needles but figured that this guy knew what he was doing, so just one time,..... He somehow got distracted, and fixed a couple of friends first. I ended up waiting, and following him around for hours in this giant dirty bathoom/lounge (which aside from being dark, and dirty, had no music, and nobody dancing). Looking around, you were endlessly greeted by a sea of apathy from listless faces. Finally he was about to give me my shot, but I could feel myselft waking up. I tried to stay within the dream, yet I was ripped-forth into reality amidst a break from opiates. A rather rude awakening.

[satlelitejive]

You know what! using dreams got me started into the dope again! What I mean is that; awhile ago I (2 years) was going to NA trying to get clean and I would have a using dream( this went on for a while) and wake up feeling guilty!!!!!!!!! To the point where I decided FUCK IT! I am what I am, and went back out. This is fairly common from what I hear, but shit! dreams can be a very powerful thing in using..........anyone else expeirience this?

[shaunclo]

Oh yeah, I have experienced this just like everyone else, IN FACT, the reason that got me using needles in the first place was because of a fuckin dream!! I had been smoking black for almost a year when it just wasnt doing it for me anymore. I had a dream one night of fixing up and getting high. I immediatley woke up and with no experience (excpet from watching it in the movies) I fixed up a shot and got high. The only reason I had access to needles is because my dad is a diabetic and I was living at their house at the time. Weird shit.

I always get to feel a dope high in my dreams, the only thing is that when I actually do get high, something VERY VERY bad happens right after. Like my bike got stolen, or a family member dies, or evil shit just happens. I actually LOVE dreaming. I like dreams more than I like reality. This is why I love me drugs, FUCK REALITY!!!

[CUBErt]

I have had many dreams about gettin dope.

A couple where I have actually gotten high and felt high in the dream

And one dream where I think I must have overdosed, I just remember falling down in my bathroom and trying to regain my balance but blacking out.

When I used to have much better self control during the school year, I used to pick up dope Thursday night and then only use it Friday/Saturday. Well I'd get it Thursday but wouldn't even take a hit till Friday morning. Needless to say my dreams on Thursday night were filled with opiate related material :p

[Opiyum]

Oh yeah, I have experienced this just like everyone else, IN FACT, the reason that got me using needles in the first place was because of a fuckin dream!! I had been smoking black for almost a year when it just wasnt doing it for me anymore. I had a dream one night of fixing up and getting high. I immediatley woke up and with no experience (excpet from watching it in the movies) I fixed up a shot and got high. The only reason I had access to needles is because my dad is a diabetic and I was living at their house at the time. Weird shit.

I always get to feel a dope high in my dreams, the only thing is that when I actually do get high, something VERY VERY bad happens right after. Like my bike got stolen, or a family member dies, or evil shit just happens. I actually LOVE dreaming. I like dreams more than I like reality. This is why I love me drugs, FUCK REALITY!!!

Wasn't that bike getting stolen thing a real life incident. That was you who had that story about chasing the skinhead down who stole some little girls bike right?

[shaunclo]

Wasn't that bike getting stolen thing a real life incident. That was you who had that story about chasing the skinhead down who stole some little girls bike right?

Yup, that was me sir Opi, I actually did have my FAVORITE bike stolen when I was in high school though. Fuckin sucked!!! Almost got him too, but he gunned it into this dirty ass crack-head infested motel where he was just.......gone.

[vanilla_mlkshake2007]

I often have dreams of using.Most of the times its crack because I am a recovering crack addict.The thing is is I actually get high in my dreams minus the paranoia I started to experience tht eventually made me quit and be clean from crack for 11 years.
I also have dreams of shooting morphine where it is actually easy for me to hit a vein (i never can find one ezcept maybe 5-6 times a month if I am lucky enough.
I also noticed that even though I hate hydrocodone and find it totally useless for me.I know others live for it,and swear its the greatest and its their DOC,and I can totally understand because when I first started opiates Darvocets were my DOC.I would take 12-14 a day but they were my DOC.Now that wouldn't do anything for me or maybe it would I dunno I just have gone on to the big M.(morphine)
I do notice that occasionally like lately when I take vicodin cuz I got 50 the other night for my teeth so I take 2 before I go to bed.I definately notice vicodins make me have vivid dreams and dreams about usage almost everytime I use vicodins.Actually I've been enjoying the vics because of the using dreams I have been getting.

[Top Secret]

So I have been MIA for almost four months because I got sent to treatment suddenly. While I was in rehab especially the first two months of sobriety I had a great deal of using dreams about 2 per week. Some of the dreams I actually got the needle in my arm, pushed the plunger down and got high. Only problem with that is that I would wake up feeling a great amount of guilt and disappointment in myself. The first couple dreams were cool, I felt like I cheated and got a free high out of it but as I progressed in my treatment these dreams were not fun for me. Maybe because I really do want to stay sober. My life is so much better now that I am not doing heroin anymore. I have goals now and am regaining relationships with family and friends that I have not had in years. I am only speaking for myself, everyone has a the choice to get sober and I do NOT judge those that continue to use. I just know that I am not a functioning addict and I can't handle life while getting high.

I really miss posting on this site I just did not feel ready to come back on here until tonight. I have almost 4 months clean and plan on staying sober. Although I am still very interested in learning more about opiate addiction because I am going back to college to become an addiction therapist. I have great respect for this website and all it has to offer the public. :)

[Chipper]

^^^ What an uplifting post with a sensible attitude. More power to you and well done!

[at&t]

yeah... Awesome.... :)

I was wondering where you were at, and was thinking these last couple days of sending you (and/or db) a VM asking......

so... cool.. ! welcome back and stuff, Top Secret.....



As for myself... (to... (perhaps inadvisable, but...) restart the 'dreams' thread,) I don't know.... The Only Time that I ever 'dream of using' is when I'm starting to need a shot/need a dose.... It is THEN and only then that junk will intrude into my dreams.....

When In the dream, I find myself walking to the pharmacy, or looking around for some junk, I will know immediately, and very lucidly, that I have only about 15 minutes at most that I will be able to remain asleep, before needing to wake up and either take care of business, get well, and go back to sleep, or just get up and start the day (very) Mildly sick... not "sick" as such, but... at very least, you know, to the point of not being able to sleep..

Hm... Looking back, come to think of it, I guess that I had a really bad habit at that point-- having to wake up once or twice in the middle of the night just to be able to make it through to dawn...... (OR-- alternatively-- (as I'm specifically thinking of/referring to One Particular Period in time here,) I guess that its possible that during those many months they might have been shorting me the junk, and just giving me straight up Milk Sugar Plus Short Acting 'Keep Well for 45 Minutes if you're lucky Fentanyl'...) (EDIT: though, come to think of it, the same thing happens even with methadone..... dreaming of any number of things during the first 7 hours of sleep, but the last one is just about always going to be sure to include "dreams of 'using...'" Just your subconscious trying to get your attention, I guess... like if you haven't eaten, you're likely to dream about food...)



Blah. Never mind.. Useless post... Sorry folks... and whats more, on such a really old thread.................
Anyway, The ONLY part of all this that matters is: " Hi! Welcome back, Topsecret! Glad to hear that you're doing well...! "
But... (shrug...) :o ... Cheers all, at&t

EDIT: PS.

Posted by Top Secret:
> I have great respect for this website and all it has to offer the public.

You ARE planning to stick around though, right? Now that you're off the stuff for good...... (?)
But........ Then again, I can see how it might be something of a problem.... like you said--

> I just did not feel ready to come back on here until tonight.

So.... I guess, its probably best just go ahead and do whatever you need to do... whatever is best for you... IF you do end up coming back and sticking around, I don't suppose that there is necessarily any real big hurry to do it Right This Second or anything....

But-- If I and/or "we" don't see you for a while, would just like to say 1. glad you're doing well-- 2. good luck with school next semester, and 3. do by all means please come by the board and say hello if/when ever you can.... and 4. take care....

ok... sorry for the over-long message, and sorry for posting on a 2006, no less (!!!) post... over and out, at&t

[BlueMajick]

I usually only have using dreams when I'm in the beginning stages of full blown withdrawal...maybe about 24 hours or so from last using, where everything hurts, but I can still manage to stay asleep for a few hours at a time.

The last time I was in this situation, i had I think two using dreams in one night. One of them I found a baggie of like 40 OC tablets, all the different kinds, 20s, 40s, 60s 80s, it was inside my answering machine somehow, and although I've never had this many in my possession, or even seen this image, like never seen another person with all the different kinds at the same time in a baggie. I found it, was so happy, but never got to use. Another dream that same night I was actually with one of my old dealers, inside of my grandpa's living room... a place I've only been less than 20 times in the last year, and for sure not with this guy, and we were sitting on the couch...with a faceless nameless third party, but he gave me some, and I knew in the dream that I had been without for a long time, but for some reason I HAD to go to the bathroom before i did some, so obviously I woke up right as I was leaving the bathroom to come back. I almost wanted to cry when I woke up and realized i was still in agony.

A few days ago I had I think what was the first (that I recall anyway) using dream while not in withdrawals. I wasn't high-high necessarily, as I'm in the middle of a taper, so I was cutting back, but it wasn't by any means painful yet. But I also was sober enough to dream, as when I'm really high i don't dream, or remember my dreams at all. In the dream it was a continuation of my current reality, as if I hadn't fallen asleep, and went out or something. I got a codeine pill from someone, which I know wouldn't do anything, and I don't know why i'd dream about it since it's nothing I've ever had really... it's appearance was a 10mg percocet, but I was told it was codeine. Interestingly enough I took it, stayed dreaming, and felt it. It was more of an intensifying of my already existing high. It didn't really increase euphoria at all, just my drowsiness, then I woke up. So when I'm in withdrawal and could really benefit from a vacation in my mind, I wake up before it can happen, and when I'm feeling fine, I can stay in the dream and get high.