eveline
02-14-2007, 05:05 AM
Hallo... I posted a question a couple months ago, to a not-so-great response. Hah... fair enough, no one wants to tell somebody else they should start using. Not disrespecting any of the people who've been through all the shit, not saying I'm any different... But I hope you know what I mean when I say I was gonna do it no matter what anyone said (stubborn kid, self-destructive, or whatever). *ahem* So I've gotten a couple hydro, some codeine, and pods (over the last 6 months)... I figure that since my tolerance is low and the people I ordered pods from disappeared (er, that and the taste, right...), I'm gonna stick with codeine, which I can get easily (with no APAP). Anyway, I guess from reading I already felt like I was really going to like opiates, and I do (big surprise, I guess). Recently I read someone's comment (I don't remember where) that although psychedelics are supposed to be the only "enlightening" drugs, opiates have made them understand what being relaxed/happy really is like, and helped them to know how to relax without chemical help. And that's exactly how I feel. I hope that doesn't sound like bullshit. I am retarded when it comes to emotions, and high-strung as hell (and miserable most of the time... been depressed, sometimes suicidal on and off since I was 14, I'm 22 now, and I've tried an assortment of SSRIs and bupropion, none of which did anything)... so it's been good to be hit over the head with calm contentment a couple times. I don't know. I know it's playing with fire. But I didn't have that much hope for feeling decent in the future, and now I do... you know? :/ (I mean, I have felt better about my life in general since I found out it is possible for me to feel OK.) Anyway, I think this place is really cool, all the different kinds of people and the tolerance.
Now for the incentive for looking at this post: http://www.chaoscontrol.com/damagecontrol/. Some of the choices are a little odd (NOT gonna be wearing a Zoloft necklace, thanks) but I think it's a great concept.
Now for the incentive for looking at this post: http://www.chaoscontrol.com/damagecontrol/. Some of the choices are a little odd (NOT gonna be wearing a Zoloft necklace, thanks) but I think it's a great concept.