accidental OD????

[shaunclo]

Well a lot of people have noticed that I have been MIA for quite a while now. Its looks like I have experienced my first accidental OD. The crazy part is that I dont remember taking enough of anything to have OD'd on. But I guess my roomies found me seizuring on my bed after taking like 100 benadryl. I should be fuckin dead right now but have been graced with a second chance. on 12/17 my roomates walked in on me after getting back from snowboarding while I was drooling and seizuring more than 1/2 dead laying on my bed. they called 911 and saved my life. I spent about 9 days in the hospital slowly turning from a vegetable back to my normal self, well somewhat normal. I still cant remember the day of the OD or a lot of other stuff. Then I was transfered by the EMT from the hospital to this lock-down mental psych ward for about 24 hours till they released me to my family. My god was that an experience.

Anyways it has been about 10 days now and the w/d's are getting so intense (more intense than I ever remember) that I havnt slept in about 7-8 days now. I feel like another seizure or a heart-attack is about to happen and need to know what can help, but not set me back at all. Clonodine?? Nyquil?? I dont know how much longer my body can go without a wink of sleep. Any advice would help.......thanks.

[devilsdrug]

shauncio ur startin to spook me man wtf , its like i need to come kick ur ass dude, snap out of it for all the reasons mentioned before, and both those will prolly help as long as u dont take a hundred. yea snap outta it for all here,,

[nick]

Jesus man life's not getting any easier for you is it?Hell at least you're still alive.Sleeping is a bitch after the kick,I'm still not sleeping right after nearly 2 months.I figure you know most of the sleep aids,but what helps me is exercise just before I crash followed by a set routine and as comfortable bed and room as I can find.
In the end when your body needs sleep you'll sleep.It just takes time.
I hope your luck changes soon.

[shaunclo]

I know man, I need my ass-kicked right now. Youd think after this long of junkydom I would be a pro at this. But for some reason, this holiday is really freakin me out right now. I am a complete mess right now. All I can think about is going to score, but if I do that I am a goner. I need to just make it thru this right njow but for some reason am having the hardest time dealin. I feel like I would rather saw my fuckin bitch-asss legs off right now than live with them and let them heal. I am in such an evil place right now, and it is scaring the shit outta me. Jesus, listem to me just whine!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!

[devilsdrug]

we all have the peaks and valleys , u just hav to keep ur eyes on the horizon cause it wont last forever , there is a light at the end of the tunnel

[devilsdrug]

i also appreciate your honesty , im not sure id be as forthcomin as u are

[OxyContinuously]

Jesus, man. 100 Benadryl? That is crazy. I mean, obviously I'm glad you're okay, but please be careful. Diphenhydramine is nasty shit, bro. With regards to sleeping, a lot of my buddies swear by catapres (clonidine) in a small dose and a mild benzodiazepine (maybe Valium or something along those lines; certainly not anything too strong like triazolam (halcion))

Sleeping after/during a kick can be utter hell, though. Nick summed it up I think. Hell, he's been clean for quite some time and STILL can't sleep. It will get better though. It's so damn annoying--I know what you mean; it's like insult to injury, you know? I guess my best advice to you would be to try the clonidine and maybe a Valium or something to help even out the rough edges. Good luck man, and stick with it.

OxyC

[-Skrilla-]

Hey Shaun..I am still fairly new here and don't know you too well as of yet, but I wish you the best and I hate to read a post like this, but it is human nature.

Hope you are doing ok now, and hopefully the scare will get you back where you need to be.
-Skrill

[AWOL]

Shaun, don't worry about bitchin and tellin it how it is at times, that's part of the reason why we come to this place. Nobody in my real life knows shit about my having been to the psych ward a few times, but everybody here does and I could really give a fuck less. Yeah I probably do bitch a bit too much at times, but that's just cause I don't in my real life. If you can't post about how bad something related to junky-dom sucks and have someone relate here, where the fuck could you? Nobody's judgin you here man, and if they are fuck them. We've all been down and out and those who stick around are the toughest mother fuckers walkin the planet. Hang in there bro - dv


Oh and I don't know if I'd try the nyquil, DXM is speedy not sedating.

[slugbone]

i've drank a bottle of nyquil to calm my shit down and sleep, it does work - just watch the amount of acetominaphen you take so you don't fuck up your liver too much.

lets see, trams will help but i can't remember if you have tried that shit or not - i've done tylenol pm's they seem to help me sleep and take away some of the crazy leg shit -

[shaunclo]

Oh and I don't know if I'd try the nyquil, DXM is speedy not sedating.

So thats why I was puking my guts up last night - I swear to god I have never puked from w/d's before, I dont know whats so different about this time, but goddamn it is gnarly. Thanks for the reminder about the DXM, I swear my mind has been reset to zero.

I had to pull over and call up my ex-girl friend and have her meet me near her house cause I FUCKIN FORGOT WHERE SHE LIVED!!!!

Oh Well, you know what - the clonodine really does help calm you down. Makes those chills JUST bearable to be able to crash for a couple o' hours.

What would I do without my O-Philes??:) :)

[candyshop]

fuck sweetie so sad to see you in such a dark place--i know it, i end up there a lot --i would bet you are not the only person here who has logged some time in the nut house--they kept me for 3 months--its the people that can navigate this fucked up world without the occasional freak out that worry me---
winter is halfway over--i always feel like if i can just hold on till spring......


can you go visit someone? maybe get away for awhile?


its so hard ---just hold on..you KNOW it gets better again

[Curio]

shauncio
man I feel bad that this has been going on for weeks and I never knew! Last I heard repeek was sending you a computer so I figured you'd be online again soon!

thanks for letting us know what is up; as candyshop says...we know it DOES get better...just time and more time....I remind myself that frequently and try not to sharpen my knives while I'm feeling "reflective" or introspective during this holiday season...

who knew my knive collecting hobby could be such a lol...double edged sword during times of depression, huh...

keep on keeping on...PLEASE.....we all need to make a pact if not for ourselves how about for each other? How much worse would it be on every one of us ophiles if we lost one?

[poppy]

I hope your luck changes soon.

Shaunclo, my thoughts are with you, take care 2007 is nearly here!!

[bronyraur]

Holy fuck Shaun! That's a hell of a lot of benadryl. I'm glad you're still with us, though. you're an incredibly valuable resource. Hang in there; it'll slowly get better as time passes. As for sleep, I'd recommend either clonidine or trazodone.

[kyuss]

Hang in there,Shaun.
Has the computer
arrived yet?

[Seedy]

Wow glad you made it this far, man. Sounds like the worst is over with - posative thinking! Always look on the bright side. I'd definately recommend exercise, get the brain producing it's own endorphins. Hard to get the motivation but it works. Maybe smoke some weed first if that's your thing and you might have an appetite when you're done. Good luck dude, this seems to be a hard time for a lot of people.

[shaunclo]

Finally was able toget down to mothers to pick up the advised Melatonin (5mg lozenges) and picked up some Unisom (not the diphenhydramine one) and one lozenge and 2 Unisom worked good enough to get me atleast 4-5 hours of VERY NEEDED SLEEP!!!

Its so funny how badly you take sleep for granted until your up for 6 to 7 days straight watching yourself slowly turn inside out.

[blackdog]

glad to hear that ya got some rest cuz. now listen if ya gonna chill on doing opiates which obviously your body has gotton used to then ya have to learn how to walk all over again.you dig ? like forget staying in bed late,things are gonna be way different now.cause now your batteries are on high charge all ya gonna need is like 5 hours of sleep per night .so what i would do is try to find a gym and go for long walks or jogging just go ahead and do a forest gump(run forest run)
and if anything get back to the basics bro a little weed cmon mother nature knows best or not.hit me back bro or else i'll have to pick up DD and head your way for some serious soul searching. believe me cuz alot of are with you and we want you to be ok so take it easy one day at a time. and try to keep busy and get yourself tired so you will sleep some.
peace/love ya brother
dawgg:rolleyes:

[jab]

Man, I'm sorry to hear about this brother.. But I'm glad you finally got a little rest. If you wanna talk, or bitch/moan/whine to someone, please feel free to PM me.

Hang in there and be safe!!

[Chemical_Boy]

Damn bro, I am glad you got some sleep. Hang in there man!! There is time to change things. There is always time.

I don't know if you can get to a doctor, but there is a newer atypical anti-psychotic med called Abilify that might help with fucked up sleep schedules. I know when I am WD I can't sleep no matter what I take without something like this. This stuff is not as sedating as Seroquel, but it is supposed to help stabilize dopamine levels better that any of the other drugs like it (which my psych doc said makes it particularly helpful with people suffering from drug related depression or insomnia). Maybe taking something like that with some melatonin would be helpful (this combo is ok as long as the doses aren't excessive i.e. less that 6mg of melatonin with prescribed dose of Abilify)

Good luck man, and let us know how you are doing. I'm sure I can speak for a lot of people here when I say I'm pullin' for you!

[Duckfeet]

Shauncio...some of the hells we go thru. I'm glad u made it thru it, seems like one of those really dark times. I know when I'm in the middle of the horrors, I can't see my way out, and not having any religious faith, it's bad, and reason lets me down, my thoughts just spinning around in circles...sometimes I can't hang on. I came off binge of paregoric and rum in Belize on coast and got on bust back to Belize city, and all of a sudden terrror hit me, and I *had* to get off the bus, right then, middle of nowhere, and hid behind this shack, absolutely sure I was dying. Had first--and only--siezure in my life. Some native guy comes buy, finds some Mennonite missionaries, they come look at me on the ground, shaking, and leave me there...finally some really poor people, gave me a drink of some rotgut rum, and I came out of it, got ride back to city, got some more to drink, couple bottles of paregoric. Broke too, my Dad had to get me plane ticket back to Miami...shook me up for months: I thought I was epileptic, don't know what....

Often when people get to that point is when they seek God, some kind of spiritual solace...looking at life clearly can bring terror and despair and mental illness. We almost *have* to get some kind of delusional comfort, but it never worked for me. Strong opiates only thing ever really quieted my demons, once alcohol no longer worked. I think sometimes that many people like us have a sort of evolution driven hyper-consciousness, makes us see things a little too clearly, and this can be impossible to bear. We end up in psychiatric wards, dopehouses, bars. And we're often different from traditional junkies and drunks and nuts.

Most people can't stand it, and eventually find religion or drugs that numb the pain. Bukowski once wrote a great poem called The Impossibility of Being Human. Our own existance just does not add up in any way we can accept or comprehend.

Long-winded way of saying I'm glad you are around, you aren't alone, and I hope u get to feeling better...

[AWOL]

Religion or drugs, that about sums it up right there man.

[shaunclo]

I just wanted to thank everyone for every kind word. I hear what your saying Duck, but I am gonna try like hell to stay away from both (religion & opies), cause I just dont think I have another kick left in me. They just keep getting longer and longer as the years go on. I mean this one was from the day I OD'd (12-17) all the way till today still (12-28) I mean the hardest part IS FINALLY OVER NOW!! But I still have RLS, shakes, chills, but it is bearable now - like when you stub your toe and it still hurts but its getting better, so its all good.

On Monday I will be going to my 1st rehab ever, who knows maybe something good will come of it. But if I dont go, I lose my family for good this time. They cant handle anymore, and I dont wanna lose them. So I am hoping for the best. This site has been one of my all-time-favorite-past-times, and I will always come back - sober or not.

You all take care - shaunclo

[AWOL]

Best of luck to you Shaun, you can do it man!

[Chipper]

I have a question about Benadryl, please - in what way does it help with w/d's?

[Dolophine]

Didn't you end up getting busted for heroin or something when you OD'd in your room or somethign crazy happened, your roommate fucking called the cops on you or something? then you got a felony charge? was that you?

If so, your life is going downhill man. You need to get on track! Things aren't going well I take it. Come on man you are better than this!

[Curio]

Didn't you end up getting busted for heroin or something when you OD'd in your room or somethign crazy happened, your roommate fucking called the cops on you or something? then you got a felony charge? was that you?

If so, your life is going downhill man. You need to get on track! Things aren't going well I take it. Come on man you are better than this!

DOLOPHINE:

YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE
STFU IF YOU CAN'T BE SUPPORTIVE...

HE HAD ATTEMPTED SUICIDE AND GOT BUSTED FOR DOPE!!

SHOW SOME COMPASSION AND RESPECT FOR A FRIEND, HIGHLY VALUED MODERATOR AND POSTER OF THIS FORUM OR GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE...

YOU DON'T KNOW ME BUT OTHERS HERE KNOW I NEVER HAVE ONCE SPELLED OUT THE F WORD OR EVEN THE A-HOLE WORD....I feel strongly that your response/post deserved full versions of BOTH words, in addition to the ALL CAPS...

end transmission:mad:

[zombiewoof23]

Didn't you end up getting busted for heroin or something when you OD'd in your room or somethign crazy happened, your roommate fucking called the cops on you or something? then you got a felony charge? was that you?

If so, your life is going downhill man. You need to get on track! Things aren't going well I take it. Come on man you are better than this!

This is most definitely not the right site to take a judgmental stance in against opiate use. Any of us could get that shit from our family and friends who are nonusers. It's that type of mentality in public that makes it easy for somebody to become an isolationist and thus put them in a more dangerous place. If you dont have any advice or supportive words, then just sit back and pay attention to the more experienced site members. I'm not trying to bash you, but this is life or death and there is no room for being non-supportive to one of our mods, friends, and peers. Try to show some empathy and realize that if you're in this game that you aren't immune either.

[AWOL]

Didn't you end up getting busted for heroin or something when you OD'd in your room or somethign crazy happened, your roommate fucking called the cops on you or something? then you got a felony charge? was that you?

If so, your life is going downhill man. You need to get on track! Things aren't going well I take it. Come on man you are better than this!

Shut the fuck up dude. Fix your own shit before you go around kicking people while they're down. Namely, being an arrogant judgmental asshole.

[nick]

Tough love or stoned indifference-I don't like either much.Coma is right,if you can't be supportive say nothing.

P.S.Coma,Good to see you around and in such a feisty mood

[-Skrilla-]

Didn't you end up getting busted for heroin or something when you OD'd in your room or somethign crazy happened, your roommate fucking called the cops on you or something? then you got a felony charge? was that you?

If so, your life is going downhill man. You need to get on track! Things aren't going well I take it. Come on man you are better than this!

Hey man, we all can react to snap judgements we think of at the time, and slander someone in real life or the internet....But doing it here isn't the way to communicate with people....Perhaps you could think before opening mouth next time...
That being said, I am not an iv user, and I shudder to think of what some members of this forum go through, and i truly don't unerstand some peoples' choices, but just ebcause they are different doesn't give me the right to judge... I wouldn't ever make a snap judgement about their life or choices without thinking of what I have been through first...People leave themselves vulnerable when posting here, and are opening up for a reason, some are asking for help, some are venting, and for some who can't communicate what they want to say in real life, this is their only forum for keeping sane and relating to like minded people....While you may be above that notion, remember that, you too live in a glass house, and let he without sin be the first to cast stones to others glass houses, but be aware that you are just as vulnerable at times and unless you are deaf/dumb/blind and live alife without emotion, than you too have had vulnerable moments in your life.

Maybe you could learn from his experience, try to understand what makes people do these things to themselves, and soak up everything around you instead of being above it. I once thought I was above the life of an addict until I walked into the methadone clinic for the first time, it was a sobering experience and I will never again judge anyone unless I am perfect....
_skrill

[nikita70]

Shaunclo and all you brothers in the sleplessness:o ,

almost one month passed since I visited the forum last time. My computer was out of order & I was out of order cause my chronical Christmas-and New Year depression:) . So, a little delayed is my reply to your tale. You can believe me, man, I know SO GOOD, (better than I wish to know), what a hell is sleeplessness - I could even risk an opinion, that the WD is, what it is cause of this little fucking"detail": sleeplessness! It's painful enough for healthy people, so how about someone who bitts his hands...?Nothing by kicking makes me so scared like this!!! Hope you are better already, it's at least one month after you, I think one month is some kind of breakpoint by sleeplessness caused by WD.
THE TIME, the time is on your side, you know... - according the Stones' song & Uncle Bill Burroughs' oppinion. (and you're righ if you're ready rather to lose your legs than use this alternate way to feel better - you know what I mean:) ) - now, after month I dare to tell you something like this; if it would be your first week of kicking - I wouldn't.

[boti420]

DAY 10 and still in FULL WITHDRAWALS?!?! Where you also on methadone? Or where you just on a huge dope habit? Day 10 and i'm fuly reovered except fro slight insomnia, unless i;m coming off 'done.

[pharmboy]

You new guys kill me. Please look at the date in the
upper left hand corner.