Need new benzo - going crazy

[satori]

I have been going a bit crazy lately.... for about two months maybe 3. I always have these episodes depression / anxiety that last anywhere from 1-3 months (have had about 10 in my life thus far). They are always severe but this one was made worse by a bad reaction to lexapro about 2 months ago. I have a ton of clonopin 1mg's over 100. But after taking it for a couple months it doesnt feel like its working very well and may be making the depression worse during the day.

Are there any other benzo's that are really affective for anxiety that is so severe its hard to talk, think, walk, pick stuff up (etc.)? Are there any others then clonopin and xanax? Or wuld xanax be my best bet?

[Narkotikon]

I have been going a bit crazy lately.... for about two months maybe 3. I always have these episodes depression / anxiety that last anywhere from 1-3 months (have had about 10 in my life thus far). They are always severe but this one was made worse by a bad reaction to lexapro about 2 months ago. I have a ton of clonopin 1mg's over 100. But after taking it for a couple months it doesnt feel like its working very well and may be making the depression worse during the day.

Are there any other benzo's that are really affective for anxiety that is so severe its hard to talk, think, walk, pick stuff up (etc.)? Are there any others then clonopin and xanax? Or wuld xanax be my best bet?

It's called tolerance. You'll either have to up your K-pins to 2mgs to get the same effects, or switch to something else. I really really am partial to Ativan (lorazepam). It's also an intermediate benzo like klonopin, whereas Xanax is a shorter acting benzo, and valium is a longer acting benzo. Are these prescribed by a doctor, or do you get them from illigitimate sources? If it's a doctor, just tell him that they're not working as well, and see if he can switch you. I'd say either got for Ativan, and if it's still bad, ask if you can switch to Xanax. Just don't be coming across as a drug seeker. It's really hard to do when you're young, as I assume you are. There are other options, like Busbar, but it won't work nearly as well. Ativan can also be taken IV, but I'm not sure if you do that. But, I'm partial to Ativan. For some reason it's easier for me to control, but don't get me wrong, I LOVE k-pins and xanax too. Or you could ask for Valium since it's such a longer acting benzo, then ask for ativan or xanax for breakthrough anxeity when it get really really bad.

[flipside]

Have u tried increasing your K-pin dose? Uncontrolled anxiety will def. increase depression in my experience. K pins have been wonderfull for me/ keeping the really severe panic attacks away for the most part and only use Xanax prn for the breakthrough.
If you are really having severe panic attacks, adding some xanax prn could be very benificial. What does your doctor say or are u self-medicating?

Hang in there. This stuff sucks. I feel for you...

Edit: Just as this posted I saw Nark had posted at the same time and his poped up first. Sorry for the repeat message but i guess it kind of validates the point I was trying to make re: k-pins.

I also agree that Ativan is as good as if not better than Xanax. My doc will not RX them though.
Valium increases my depression 10 fold, and buspar is worthless in my experience. But everyone reacts differently, if you are seeing a doctor have him adjust your dose and mabey try a switch if you really want off the K-pins. I can't see xanax working long term for anxiety though, not to stave it off anyway , but great for panic attacks when they break through. Ok I feel like I'm rambling now.

[Chipper]

I take currently take Olanzapine. It is a thieno-benzodiazepine; an atypical anti-psychotic/nueroleptic that is intitally sedating and helps with sleep. I take 5-10 mgs nightly and I feel no need to add other benzos to the mix although I enjoy a Valium from time to time.

It may be worth a try switching to an anti-psychotic like Olanzapine/Zyprexa as they act as a mood-stabilizer and are indicated by mania/depression.

Half-life is up to 96 hours.

[devilsdrug]

damn satori u been crazy since i met ya but its ok it not THAT kind of crazy just a couple deep breaths and be cool get busy doin somthin, me im about to load the boat up and take some customers on my private river

[satori]

devilsdrug: Yea its been a life long thing lol.



And as to a the other posts. I am perscribed clonopin by doctor. I can increase the dose but i think it has a strange affect on my cognitive abilities. Memory, cordination, awareness of time etc. I know i have adjusted to the dose. I have been on and off of it for years now but i want to try something else. I might just end up seing if i can switch to xanax since i feel the build up in my system is slowing me down to begin with. Is xanax the shortest half life benzo out there or are there others?

[zombiewoof23]

As far as depression is concerned, Xanax is the worst benzo for me for some reason. I prefer ativan as well. Here's your half life/equivalence table. http://www.benzo.org.uk/bzequiv.htm

[nick]

Hell,look at the "sane" world and show me the joys of "sanity".Librium worked well for me.

[PantyShot9]

It's called tolerance. You'll either have to up your K-pins to 2mgs to get the same effects, or switch to something else. I really really am partial to Ativan (lorazepam). It's also an intermediate benzo like klonopin, whereas Xanax is a shorter acting benzo, and valium is a longer acting benzo. Are these prescribed by a doctor, or do you get them from illigitimate sources? If it's a doctor, just tell him that they're not working as well, and see if he can switch you. I'd say either got for Ativan, and if it's still bad, ask if you can switch to Xanax. Just don't be coming across as a drug seeker. It's really hard to do when you're young, as I assume you are. There are other options, like Busbar, but it won't work nearly as well. Ativan can also be taken IV, but I'm not sure if you do that. But, I'm partial to Ativan. For some reason it's easier for me to control, but don't get me wrong, I LOVE k-pins and xanax too. Or you could ask for Valium since it's such a longer acting benzo, then ask for ativan or xanax for breakthrough anxeity when it get really really bad.

Ativan pills can be done IV?

[pinion]

Is xanax the shortest half life benzo out there or are there others?

Halcion is much shorter acting but you don't want to mess with that stuff. It's like the crack of benzos and in a few years they probably won't even prescribe it anymore. I tried using it for sleep and it was instant blackout but then I'd be awake in two hours..

Sounds to me like you just need to up your dose. Be aware that long term benzo use makes an opiate habit seem like a minor allergy though. It takes a long time to get off of benzos.. If and when the day comes, look up "the ashton manual" - Dr. Heather Ashton; a tremendous resource for dealing with benzo addiction and withdrawal..

[PantyShot9]

Halcion is much shorter acting but you don't want to mess with that stuff. It's like the crack of benzos and in a few years they probably won't even prescribe it anymore. I tried using it for sleep and it was instant blackout but then I'd be awake in two hours..

Sounds to me like you just need to up your dose. Be aware that long term benzo use makes an opiate habit seem like a minor allergy though. It takes a long time to get off of benzos.. If and when the day comes, look up "the ashton manual" - Dr. Heather Ashton; a tremendous resource for dealing with benzo addiction and withdrawal..


God I want to try Halcion so badly. Haen't ever came across any maybe never will.:mad:

[MikeyFlowers]

I've had a LOT of experience with just about any benzo you can imagine and if you really feel like kpins are making your depression worse and you are really interested in medicinal use and not recreation I think that xanax might be a good drug to talk about with your doctor. I am NOT a doctor, just a person with a ton of benzo usage under my belt and the only one that ever actually made me happy was xanax. I can't take SSRI's either as they lead to me doing/saying/being things I wouldn't normally. I really hope that your episodes work themself out as mine finally did, I don't know what changed in me but something is drastically different now, I really hope that you can feel good again too.

But yeah, back to the point, ask your doctor about xanax before you go taking larger and larger doses of klonopin you might be surprised by what even a small dose can do.

[Chemical_Boy]

I find that xanax is the best for anxiety, though temazepam also works pretty well. Clonazempam works ok but I have to take the 2mg guys to get a good effect for anxiety. Clonazepam lasts much longer than xanax or tem. I believe that Valium works pretty well and also has a long half life. If increasing the Clon dose doesn't work maybe Valium would be a good thing to try (xanax works well, but I have to take more than the prescribed dose and it doesn't last very long)

Good luck dude.

[candyshop]

if you suffer from depression AND anxiety it can be hard to treat -i have suffered lifelong BLACK HORRIFYING depressions and severe anxiety- generalized and acute(panic attacks) -everything they have tried on me for the depression has either worsened the depression or upped my anxiety levels-opiates are the only help i have found -i have been prescribed xanax,ativan and valium for the anxiety-xanax works faster for acute attacks but valium lasts longer for generalized-both however ,if used more than a few days in a row,seem to bring on depression and add to the lethargy that is a big part of it--maybe a non-benzo could be tried -i know some people use soma off lable for anxiety-ativan seems to be the lest depressing for me but everyone has different reactions--i have also tried some herbals ,valerian, skullcap,kavakava-
kava in large doses actually worked well for me but is hard to function on

best of luck i know how frustrating it can be-keep trying the answer is out there somewhere

[MikeyFlowers]

Valium is a good drug for anxiety but I had a VERY hard time coming off of it... I was in withdrawal for literally five weeks, obviously not terrible that whole time but the stuff takes FOREVER to fully clear your body. Also, I found that my tolerance rose very fast and I was putting huge doses in my body.. this probably contributed to the painfully long clean up time. Benzos are so so so touchy and hold such a strange place in my life. I really believe they can be a GREAT aid in treating anxiety but all they are is a cover up, you should really consider some cognitive behavioural therapy. If you're seeking long term change don't discount the value of group meetings and spend the time needed to find what works for you! Feel free to PM me if you just want somebody to talk to! Be safe, best wishes :)

[satori]

if you suffer from depression AND anxiety it can be hard to treat -i have suffered lifelong BLACK HORRIFYING depressions and severe anxiety- generalized and acute(panic attacks) -everything they have tried on me for the depression has either worsened the depression or upped my anxiety levels-opiates are the only help i have found -i have been prescribed xanax,ativan and valium for the anxiety-xanax works faster for acute attacks but valium lasts longer for generalized-both however ,if used more than a few days in a row,seem to bring on depression and add to the lethargy that is a big part of it--maybe a non-benzo could be tried -i know some people use soma off lable for anxiety-ativan seems to be the lest depressing for me but everyone has different reactions--i have also tried some herbals ,valerian, skullcap,kavakava-
kava in large doses actually worked well for me but is hard to function on

best of luck i know how frustrating it can be-keep trying the answer is out there somewhere


I have finnaly figured out after seing over 15 doctors that i have (list).

(main disorders)

Clinical depression (no duh) - Been off on depressed whole live (10 major mixed episode possibly bi-polar but more likely symptoms of BPD)

OCD (no duh)

Borderline personality disorder (diagnosed and known since i was 14)

ADHD (diagnosed and known since 8, and yes i really do have it (its no myth) )

post traumatic stress disorder (dont want to talk about it)


(Secondary Disorders)


Social Avoidance (recent accurance)

Agoraphobia (recent accurance)

General anxiety / paranoia ( part of BPD and OCD- Fear of contamination)

Delayed Sleep phase syndrome (go to bed at 5 and wake up at 1 - had it most of life)

Seasonal Affective disorder (right after a seasonal change i become nearly suicidal)

Derealization / depersonalization disorder (would take hours to describe)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of my problems are caused i beleive by my major 4 (Clinical Depression, OCD, BPD, and PTSD). The obessive fears really do a number on me. Dying in sleep, dying from drug interactions (tooth paste residue mixing wth pill to form some toxic substance), checking what pill im taking 8 times. I could go on for quiet some time about OCD (wont). In fact most psychologists and psychiatrists i have seen dont know right away what my "problem is". Im very open because i want to get to the botom of it but i have had over half say i have so many different symptoms from different disorders they dont know where to start. I always assumed being born 2 months early with strep in lungs and almost dying (doctor told my parents to make funerall arangements, HOW SWEET! Had something to do with it. But who knows! That been said the anxiety i have can go WAAAAAY over the top. Heart rate jumps well over 200 over 120 pulse 140 (last time i went to hospital for a lung conditoon and they thought something might be wrong my BP got so high they put me in IC monitering room (hate all those wires). The derealization is the most debilitating. Sleep is most annoying. At one point a couple doctors thought i had aspergers (turned out not to be so but my dad does). I beleive PTSD is behind the social avoidance, and agoraphobia.

I actualy have a spider web chat of the symptoms tied to what disorder and the off shoots from each one. Im told this is an obsessive quality... im guessing its possible :). That said. I feel like crying when i take clonopin or xanax lol. I have contant pain both mental and physical from all of this and when it kicks in it ALL go's away. I ended up getting xanax and upping my dose of clonopin (helped greatly). Felt like venting tonight! Its that damned fioricet.

[Narkotikon]

I have finnaly figured out after seing over 15 doctors that i have (list).

(main disorders)

Clinical depression (no duh) - Been off on depressed whole live (10 major mixed episode possibly bi-polar but more likely symptoms of BPD)

OCD (no duh)

Borderline personality disorder (diagnosed and known since i was 14)

ADHD (diagnosed and known since 8, and yes i really do have it (its no myth) )

post traumatic stress disorder (dont want to talk about it)


(Secondary Disorders)


Social Avoidance (recent accurance)

Agoraphobia (recent accurance)

General anxiety / paranoia ( part of BPD and OCD- Fear of contamination)

Delayed Sleep phase syndrome (go to bed at 5 and wake up at 1 - had it most of life)

Seasonal Affective disorder (right after a seasonal change i become nearly suicidal)

Derealization / depersonalization disorder (would take hours to describe)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of my problems are caused i beleive by my major 4 (Clinical Depression, OCD, BPD, and PTSD). The obessive fears really do a number on me. Dying in sleep, dying from drug interactions (tooth paste residue mixing wth pill to form some toxic substance), checking what pill im taking 8 times. I could go on for quiet some time about OCD (wont). In fact most psychologists and psychiatrists i have seen dont know right away what my "problem is". Im very open because i want to get to the botom of it but i have had over half say i have so many different symptoms from different disorders they dont know where to start. I always assumed being born 2 months early with strep in lungs and almost dying (doctor told my parents to make funerall arangements, HOW SWEET! Had something to do with it. But who knows! That been said the anxiety i have can go WAAAAAY over the top. Heart rate jumps well over 200 over 120 pulse 140 (last time i went to hospital for a lung conditoon and they thought something might be wrong my BP got so high they put me in IC monitering room (hate all those wires). The derealization is the most debilitating. Sleep is most annoying. At one point a couple doctors thought i had aspergers (turned out not to be so but my dad does). I beleive PTSD is behind the social avoidance, and agoraphobia.

I actualy have a spider web chat of the symptoms tied to what disorder and the off shoots from each one. Im told this is an obsessive quality... im guessing its possible :). That said. I feel like crying when i take clonopin or xanax lol. I have contant pain both mental and physical from all of this and when it kicks in it ALL go's away. I ended up getting xanax and upping my dose of clonopin (helped greatly). Felt like venting tonight! Its that damned fioricet.

I can relate to the Borderline Personality and OCD. As I've said before, my OCD comes in cycles. It will be really really bad for a year or two, then sort of go into remission. Right now it's in remission, but I wish I had it back (sometimes) because it's so much easier to keep things clean. I'm a clean freak, and I can't stand it anymore. My apartment is so dusty. I know it's not dirty in a gross way, but to me it's contaminated, but since it's in remission, it's easier for me to put up with it. I think when I started methadone it made it go into remission somehow, because it was really bad last year until I started MMT, and ever since, it's been a whole lot better, even though I'm no longer on MMT.

As far as the Borderline part, the only thing I know is proven to work is Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which is a combo private one-on-one and group therapy for about a year or more, where your'e taught coping skills and how to act / react. For instance, the big thing for me is being alone and feeling so alone that you feel numb. I sometimes cut, not because I'm trying to committ suicide mind you, but just to feel. That's usually when I'm really really bad off though. I know why I do it, to feel less numb and also because cutting and any other kind of bodily harm releases endorphins, which is your bodies natural pleasure neutotransmitter. As far as meds, Depakote really helps stabilize my mood, because it's really really easy for me to feel fine, then as soon as someone I am close to (i.e., family) says something that I think is insensitive, I get into this rage where I start screaming because it hurts so much, then an hour later I"ll be fine. When I'm at my mom's, it cycles several times a day. Then, there's the self-destructive behavior. Drugs, spending when I have money, casual sex (although I don't do that much anymore, that was mainly when I was 20/21), reckless driving (really speeding and road rage). The biggest part I hate is the inability to be alone for any period, which is another reason why I use. Opiates really make the time go by, and when I'm without and alone, it's almost unbearable. But I had a lot of bad side-effects from Depakote, mainly weight gaine. It's really bad for that. I refuse to go on Lithium because it's so toxic, and Tegretol and Trileptal made me have a bad skin reaction. I also hate anti-psychotics, which I'm sometimes prescribed for my anger, but I dont' see why Ishould take them when I'm not psychotic. I mean, they make me feel like shit. I can't stand those things. And as far as SSRI's go, I've been on them all and they've not helped. Most docs won't give anything mind-altering like benzos to a bordeerline because they know there's a high percentage of drug abuse and impulsive behavior (and sometimes suicidal tendencies) among borderlines, so why would they give them anything that they could use to OD on? But when I was reading an article on Xanax on Wikipedia a few weeks ago, they said that studies have shown how Alprazolam (Xanax) has been proven to be helpful in Borderline populations as an anti-depressant. Wish I got prescibed Xanax.

As to the person who asked if you could IV Ativan pills. I think I remember reading that Lorazepam is almost insoluble in water, but I do know that you can get IV Ativan in the ER, because it's in a coctail that they give to violent psych patients: it includes Haldol, Ativan, and Benadryl IV to knock the person out. I just asumed that you could IV the pills, maybe you can, I don't know. I've never tried, but maybe the IV Ativan is in another solution other than water. So, that was just to correct myself.

[slugbone]

satori are you still looking for a decent benzo? i don't see you mention temazepam have you tried it & what are your thoughts. i've done trazodone/temazepam combo works pretty good when i had some anxiety in the past

[satori]

I ended up with some xanax to add to Klonopin. Upped clonopin and feeling better overall. Last week i had a hard time talking to people in general not to mention people i didnt know, today i was talking to anybody who would listen.

[AWOL]

I ended up with some xanax to add to Klonopin. Upped clonopin and feeling better overall. Last week i had a hard time talking to people in general not to mention people i didnt know, today i was talking to anybody who would listen.

Good to hear it bro.

[Ragdoll]

I sure wish I would have seen this post a week ago. It does sound like you could have an effective mix, with the Klonopin/Xanax, though.

I relate to many of your diagnoses very well - especially the depression, anxiety, ocd, the weird, bizarre, strange and freakish derealsation, the sleep problem, and the ptsd. Each one it's own little piece of hell, in it's turn.

Is lexapro the only ssri you've tried? I've been on all of them at one time or another, and each one is quite different from the others. A different one could be helpful for you, perhaps.

The benzos are such a mixed bag of amazingly terrific (to treat anxiety, panic and regulate sleep) but also very odd. They all seem to screw with time and with cognitive perception. And memory. They really fuck with memory. I have noticed that K-pin seems to increase depressive symptoms - which makes sense, since it decreases anxiety. At least, that's how it works for me: decrease anxiety, increase depression. It's like I have to make a choice of which one to live with; a little more anxiety or a little more depression. And the tolerance problem with benzos is a big, big problem. (I'm curious about the Olanzapine Chipper mentioned.)

Anyway, just some of my thoughts and experiences to let you know you're by no means alone....

[roxi*stardust]

Halcion is much shorter acting but you don't want to mess with that stuff. It's like the crack of benzos and in a few years they probably won't even prescribe it anymore. I tried using it for sleep and it was instant blackout but then I'd be awake in two hours..

Sounds to me like you just need to up your dose. Be aware that long term benzo use makes an opiate habit seem like a minor allergy though. It takes a long time to get off of benzos.. If and when the day comes, look up "the ashton manual" - Dr. Heather Ashton; a tremendous resource for dealing with benzo addiction and withdrawal..

Halcion is BAD ASS SHIT. Hardly ever RX'd by any docs, around here anyway. Saw it RX'd most often when I worked in an Instutional Pharmacy for people in nursing homes/Azheimer's/behavioral units. Mostly written 1 tab q hs(bedtime). It would probably be hard to convince a doc to write for a med like that. The manufacture bottles only come with 30 pills and have a warning with them that it should only be dispensed for a max of 7 tablets at one time. That's what the manufacture suggests and that's how we would dispense them, 7 tablet max.
Edit: check this out.
http://www.injustice.org/nemo/newsfile/nk910819.html

[satori]

Still ok. My left eye is twitching non stop and is driving me crazy! Adderall made it to where i needed 3mg of clonopin to come down to sleep at night so im going to try and get instant release so i dont go crazy (stopped taking the adderal for now).

[Hammilton]

It's commonly reported (mis-reported) that anti-psychotics are benzodiazepines. For those who believe that, you need to take a closer look at the chemistry. While the term is close to "benzodiazepine" it's not.

[applesauce]

Halcion is BAD ASS SHIT. Hardly ever RX'd by any docs, around here anyway. Saw it RX'd most often when I worked in an Instutional Pharmacy for people in nursing homes/Azheimer's/behavioral units.


Ex-president George Bush Sr. had a script for Halcion (really, Google george bush halcion).

That doesn't necessarily mean anything, but to me it means that one of the most powerful men in the world who has access to the absolute best medical care on the planet was given Halcion when he had trouble sleeping.

To me that is one hell of an endorsement.

(It has been mentioned in some articles that Bush vomiting on the Prime Minister of Japan was the result of the flu and having taken Halcion the night before, but that is just speculation).

[OxyContinuously]

I have been going a bit crazy lately.... for about two months maybe 3. I always have these episodes depression / anxiety that last anywhere from 1-3 months (have had about 10 in my life thus far). They are always severe but this one was made worse by a bad reaction to lexapro about 2 months ago. I have a ton of clonopin 1mg's over 100. But after taking it for a couple months it doesnt feel like its working very well and may be making the depression worse during the day.

Are there any other benzo's that are really affective for anxiety that is so severe its hard to talk, think, walk, pick stuff up (etc.)? Are there any others then clonopin and xanax? Or wuld xanax be my best bet?

Xanax is geared at anxiety with the associated depression. That would be a good option. Unfortunately it may very well have been the lexapro that contributed to the depression. These "brain" drugs are not very well understood and can sometimes have very serious side effects. Has anyone heard of the horror that is vanlafaxine (Effexor) for example??

[Ragdoll]

It's commonly reported (mis-reported) that anti-psychotics are benzodiazepines. For those who believe that, you need to take a closer look at the chemistry. While the term is close to "benzodiazepine" it's not.

Very important distinction. Anti-psychotics (neuroleptics) and benzodiazepines are entirely different . And anti-depressants are in a class all their own (with sub-classes: ssri's, the old tricyclics and mao-inhibitors).

[satori]

Xanax is geared at anxiety with the associated depression. That would be a good option. Unfortunately it may very well have been the lexapro that contributed to the depression. These "brain" drugs are not very well understood and can sometimes have very serious side effects. Has anyone heard of the horror that is vanlafaxine (Effexor) for example??


I stopped taking lexapro a week after i started. Bad Bad reaction.

[satori]

WOW another bad night. Went off opiates for a bit as a way to fuck myself up i think. I know im always misserable so i stopped to see how long it would last. I have promised not to cut myself any more or hit things (and havent) so i guess i have found other more creative ways to cause pain. It occured to me today when i was walking in my house (as usual). I noticed how strong the urge was to just hit myself or the wall.

[AWOL]

WOW another bad night. Went off opiates for a bit as a way to fuck myself up i think. I know im always misserable so i stopped to see how long it would last. I have promised not to cut myself any more or hit things (and havent) so i guess i have found other more creative ways to cause pain. It occured to me today when i was walking in my house (as usual). I noticed how strong the urge was to just hit myself or the wall.


Read the bible.

[Ragdoll]

Listen to music, for "it hath charms to sooth the savage beast"....

Truly, when you feel that way, turn on some music right away. If you start dancing, it really helps, too. Movement of mind, soul, and body works wonders.

[satori]

Read the bible.


I only read non-fiction. (sorry couldnt pass that one up)

[SpecialGuy69]

satori- do you feel like you know us? I'm just curious because you talk about not being able to face strangers, but then you are a really big contributor on here- I'd like to think that maybe op is helping ya work out some of your shit, that would be cool. But do the people on op fall into the "stranger" category or the "friend" category?

For me, it's a mix of both- people like you and DV and most of the people who post a lot, and the girls are definitely on the friends level, but it didn't get there overnight. Like to the point where I'll throw a corny joke out there and be like "fuck it they'll cut me some slack if i'm being a dork" Just wondering.

[satori]

satori- do you feel like you know us? I'm just curious because you talk about not being able to face strangers, but then you are a really big contributor on here- I'd like to think that maybe op is helping ya work out some of your shit, that would be cool. But do the people on op fall into the "stranger" category or the "friend" category?

For me, it's a mix of both- people like you and DV and most of the people who post a lot, and the girls are definitely on the friends level, but it didn't get there overnight. Like to the point where I'll throw a corny joke out there and be like "fuck it they'll cut me some slack if i'm being a dork" Just wondering.


There are deff, awesome peple on here who i have started talking to more. And in general it has helped a great deal. Im quiet glad im on here actualy. Im feeling a little better i was out for most of the day due to class and hanging out with some one who knows my sister. Went to the mall to buy something (very very strange act for me) as well didnt find what i was looking for.


I contribute some things, mainly paranoia because i can be a bit..... "eccentric" at times :zhelp:. All and all im better off with OP then without it. I would MUCH rather talk to people on here then most of the people i run into. They just want to talk about these topics that seem worthless to me. Who's britney fucking, did you see the new music video or such and such mtv. People on this site seem less concnerned with the more trvial parts of life and tune in to the more important things.

[Ragdoll]

People on this site seem less concnerned with the more trvial parts of life and tune in to the more important things.


No kidding - I noticed that right away, myself.

[SalvationThroughDilaudid]

I have been going a bit crazy lately.... for about two months maybe 3. I always have these episodes depression / anxiety that last anywhere from 1-3 months (have had about 10 in my life thus far). They are always severe but this one was made worse by a bad reaction to lexapro about 2 months ago. I have a ton of clonopin 1mg's over 100. But after taking it for a couple months it doesnt feel like its working very well and may be making the depression worse during the day.

Are there any other benzo's that are really affective for anxiety that is so severe its hard to talk, think, walk, pick stuff up (etc.)? Are there any others then clonopin and xanax? Or wuld xanax be my best bet?

I feel for you bro, I really do. I've been on and off (more on that off) benzos since I was 15, and I'm 22 now. They started at 13 and it took me two years to get started on meds. Since then I've been on xanax, ativan, klonopin, and valium. Valium is what I'm currently on, my GP (not the asshole pain doc) is cool about benzos, and likes to rotate me every so often, and ocassionaly taper me down to allow my tolerance to lower a bit. He also encourages the grapefruit juice in small quantities so I can take lower benzo doses, so you might want to try that.

I've had panic attacks so bad that I couldn't breathe, turned blue, couldn't see, etc. and I'd have to say that for full blown all out panic attacks, xanax is probably your best bet. For general anxiety valium or klonopin is better. Ativan is an ok one also, and actually my favorite for recreation, but it still pales in comparison to xanax for when the "big ones" hit. I actually lost a fiance of 2 years over my panic attacks, I hope it gets better for you and you don't have to experience something like that.

And another thing you may want to try, though somebody here is probably going to say it's bullshit, is phenergan or compazine. Phenergan was actually used as an antipsychotic before the days of thorazine, and in sufficient doses (75mg or so) has actually stopped my panic attacks dead in their tracks. Compazine is an antipsychotic that is used for anxiety, but will also ocassionaly help stop panic attacks, but it's a little harder to get than the phenergan, and besides that phenergan is pretty cheap too.

Hope it all helps, drop me a line sometime if you just need a buddy to talk to, I've been in those shoes before and it robbed me of 2 years of my life before I got the nerve to start takin meds.

[SalvationThroughDilaudid]

satori- do you feel like you know us? I'm just curious because you talk about not being able to face strangers, but then you are a really big contributor on here- I'd like to think that maybe op is helping ya work out some of your shit, that would be cool. But do the people on op fall into the "stranger" category or the "friend" category?

For me, it's a mix of both- people like you and DV and most of the people who post a lot, and the girls are definitely on the friends level, but it didn't get there overnight. Like to the point where I'll throw a corny joke out there and be like "fuck it they'll cut me some slack if i'm being a dork" Just wondering.


I'm cool too right? Right, right, right, right, right, am I, am I, hunh, hunh, hunh? :D

Seriously I feel like this site has definately helped me out, you guys are my only "friends" since my old friends all called me junky and ditched me. :(

[Sitar]

And another thing you may want to try, though somebody here is probably going to say it's bullshit, is phenergan or compazine. Phenergan was actually used as an antipsychotic before the days of thorazine, and in sufficient doses (75mg or so) has actually stopped my panic attacks dead in their tracks. Compazine is an antipsychotic that is used for anxiety, but will also ocassionaly help stop panic attacks, but it's a little harder to get than the phenergan, and besides that phenergan is pretty cheap too.

I can second that. Phenergan (Promethazine) is a great med to have onhand for panic attacks, insomnia, or even opiate withdrawal. It's in the same class of drugs as Thorazine (the Phenothiazines, I think). It's a tranquilizer, and it works well. It's often used as a simple anti-nausea med (usually it's coupled with Codeine or Demerol), but it's a lot more than that. Good stuff.

[thechicken]

First addressing the issue of benzo's and axiety. Benzo's are very effective for short term use however the longer you take them, the more tolerent you become and more dependent. Sometimes anxiety or panic attacks are really symptoms of withdrawl from the benzo. Valium is the grandady of them all, but it is also the most addictive. Ativan is popular however there are studies that are linking long term ativan usage with memory loss. Klonopin is more buffered and has the longest half-life, but it does not work as fast as xanex but xanex has more potential for abuse and addiction.

Any benzodiazapine can create a terrible cycle of panic and anxity treatment, versus the individual thinking they are have a panic attack only to find out they have become tolerent and are requiring more in order to "feel right'. Women are more likely to develop anxiety and depression as they get older especially as they approach menepause. The reason for this is a drop is serotonin. So if you have a predisposition, you will experience more difficulty. The best clinical practice standards for treatment of depression and anxiety is a SSRI, such are pexevia or lexapro, some doctors may augment this with buspar but buspar is not as effective as a benzo. Most people want the axiety to stop, SSRI's are effective, but it takes time, usually 6 to 8 weeks before they are effective. Sometimes longer until you find the right one for you. Some doctors will prescribe a benzo with the SSRI, and as the SSRI starts to work, they will then decrease the dosage of the benzo and take you completely off them.

Depression and anxiety go hand in hand with the malfuntion of the seritonin in your brain. What happens is the seritonin is not completing it's mission to connect to your receptor sights. SSRI's stand for Selective Seritonin Reuptake Inhibitors. I know it is hard to let go of the Benzo's but in the long run SSRI's are more effective, and can give you your life back. See a good psychiatrist and be honest with them. NEVER STOP TAKING ANY BENZODIAZAPINE ABRUPTLY. You could have a seizure! Benzo are the most complex drug to withdrawl from.

[SalvationThroughDilaudid]

I actualy have a spider web chat of the symptoms tied to what disorder and the off shoots from each one. Im told this is an obsessive quality... im guessing its possible :). That said. I feel like crying when i take clonopin or xanax lol. I have contant pain both mental and physical from all of this and when it kicks in it ALL go's away. I ended up getting xanax and upping my dose of clonopin (helped greatly). Felt like venting tonight! Its that damned fioricet.


I know what you mean about being in constant mental and physical pain, and needing chems to "take it all away". It hurts, it's embarrasing, it's scary, and it's just plain wrong that we should have to feel that way. And I too have cried whilst taking my beloved narcotics, knowing that without them I am in wretched horrible pain, and with them I'm just a slave to a pill. You will find a way to get through it though. If you need somebody to chat with let me know. I've been through some of it, and am still going though much of what you listed. Depersonalization sucks ass worse than anything else in my book. I know.

[satori]

I understand that SSRI's are prefered but i go into pseudo-pscyhotic episodes when i take SSRI's. The last one i tried (Lexparo) in just after 4-7 days i lost sense of distance, time, communication became very difficult. I thought i was hearing things that werent there but wasnt sure if i heard them or just remembered hearing them but didnt at the time (not voices, more like a train running through my house). I have tried effexor but had bad physical effects. I have exhuasted other methods though i think this may be whats going on with me now. I have already started tapper of Klonopin down to 7.5 (from 1.0). When this episode first started i was barely able to walk and communicate with family members. It has been up and down the past few months (sence it started). If it werent for klonopin i wouldnt have been able to sleep, leave the house, drive a car etc (though i avoided driving during this time).

[satori]

Couldnt agree more about the depersonalization. When i have an episode that lasts for long periods of time it can be one of the scariest and most mentaly painful things i have ever experienced.

[SalvationThroughDilaudid]

Couldnt agree more about the depersonalization. When i have an episode that lasts for long periods of time it can be one of the scariest and most mentaly painful things i have ever experienced.

I know. It's really tough when you're just sitting around doing nothing, and all of a sudden you don't know who you are, what you are, who the people near you are, etc.

And that's when I have my psychotic episodes running around like a madman ranting and raving, heart beating fast enough to explode, skin electrified with buzzing sensations, and you completely lose sense of time, space, and for me it's also depth perception. Like everything looks almost like it's 2 dimensional or flat, maybe like it's closer than it should be? It's hard to explain, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. It's usually preceded by some sort of strange deja vu type shit, and then I just start freakin right the fuck out, just out of the blue.