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View Full Version : how MORE ENDLESS could be the night?


nikita70
12-14-2006, 04:51 PM
Hi everybody,
I like this topic "w/d", especially timely: after over six years of "sponsored addiction"(meth) I have almost forgotten how much it hurts. The opiate-WD was for me always something horrible special: something more then only LACK of heroin. Terry Pratchett has writting something like this the real darkness isn't the LACK of light, it's something more, it's the OPPOSITE of light, the dark light.
The WD is also the opposite of H. It's like the other state of mind.

I could to tell you the old fable about bitting bars, walls or some like that. I always thought that this tales are a little overdone(OD?:) ) but they aren't, unfortunely. When I has been arrested it was my second time I was forced to kick. I knew what I have to expect. It really helps. It was very intensive, but was over quite fast. The horrible three days in police-arrest, cold turkey-interrogations, cold, cold, cold and painful, "I'm fucking dying" - I was sure. Then the jail-hospital, few doses of clonidinum, tramadol, Valium per day...not funny, but not too bad. After seven days I was weak, hard to sleep but still alive& NOT KICKING ANYMORE. :) Hard expierience, but the second in my ranking.

The first seemed to be milder, but this time is the worst I can remember. I don't know the reason. Maybe because it was the first time I went through WD from the first sneezing till the last sleepless night. (but which is the last???:) )
I was on detox, over ten years ago. The pain was not so strong, we received a lot of pills, but I just canot sleep. It was like three-week-looong day. After twenty days I never sleeped came my parents to take me to the rehab center. When we drove through my city nothing seemed me be the same. It was like some kind of a very bad trip. I looked like by new eyes, it was not this soft "sharpening" of perception you have in the first phase of WD, but something else, something horrible, painful and dangerous. The trip to the rehab was very long, I have got a quite nice room but I didn't care.
The first, "wet" symptoms of WD was already over, the pain also, "(...)I lay in my hospital bed(...), and I prayed for just one minute of sleep, but without any faith. I was sure I'll sleep never again, and I knew if I at least take a rest I'll be saved. And no sick anymore. I asked myself: how more endless could be the night?
Now I'm on meth program and some told me that meth WD is even worse than H-WD. Brrr....I'm scared.

nick
12-14-2006, 05:02 PM
Methadone wd's is truly terrible,but it can be done man.

robojunkie
12-21-2006, 08:36 PM
Yeah Nikita I always thought the whole done kick thing was a little exaggerated, but I could not have been more naive. About four months (July to November) with the worst being the whole fucking month of august! And had to go to work/school for like 10 to 12 hours a day and act normal (luckily I had the clonidine so at least I could sleep and not be twitchy and shit). And that was only like 40 mgs when I started coming off quick. But in a different way the worst was November cause I wasn't really "sick" anymore but I had never been so fucking weak, unmotivated and dreadful of doing anything but staring at a blank screen and not lifting a finger. It was like that for weeks at the end. I'd rather CT dope three times in a shitty hotel room...at least after 10 days and maybe three or four of that dead/no energy feeling I'd be pretty much fine. And that WD just shreds your body, I lost like around 40 pounds (little under 20 kgs for you Europeans) that I still haven't even begun to put back (was never fat to begin with either, now my body fat % is like 3-5%, I am a fucking elite athlete that can't run 100 meters! Methadone equals life unless you have some serious motivation. Not the most intense kick ever but overall the hardest most mind/body/emotion killing one!

SpecialGuy69
12-21-2006, 08:47 PM
nikita- that was really insightful and well written!