Openned That Doorway To Hell

[Levity]

Note, when I say "me," I really mean SWIM.

So yesterday I went to see my sweet connection. He had some K4s, those beautiful little Dilaudid pills. Hydromorphone is my favorite hospital narcotic (by favorite I mean the only readily IVable; I'm luckily allergic to Demerol, Codine, and Morphine).

I've never fucked around with needles before, simple because that's one door I didn't particularly want openned. But my man asked me to run my white ass and pick up a box of needles, which I did with no problem...

Curiosity piqued, I asked if he'd mind showing me how it's done. After some laughs, he says sure and ties off my arm with a rubberband-esque thingie. He knows my receational habit (50mg of Oxy) and sets up one pill.

Well, he takes a clean needle, some alcohol, registers a vien, and let's her rip. I was fucking terrified, thinking I was going to at best OD. A small voice just kept screaming at me not to do it, but the next thing I know that small voice was smiling happily and just chilling in the corner.

Incredible rush, similar to high quality crack cocaine, but lasting much longer. Fully body orgasm perhaps. Either or, it was great.

Not an experiance I'd do regularly by any means. The high was superbrief. Much lower than snorting a K4 in my opinon, and there's not many faster ways to up your tolerance, which I'm trying to cut down.

But I can really see why people shoot these badboys.

[nick]

Watch that "curiosity" bro,it could really screw you up,

[shaunclo]

A lot of that going around today, WTF is going on??

Ohhhh Levity.................:(

[devilsdrug]

oh levity watch what road ur traveling

[SpecialGuy69]

Lev- Please be careful, bro! Remember the thread you posted when you were having a really bad night? You are doing the same thing as me, living the double-life, professional by day, junky by night. I always kinda clung to the thought that the only thing separating me from "them" was IV usage, and it kept me from going that route. Just use your best judgement and willpower, lev! BTW, I think you owe us a "the system" report, too!

[devilsdrug]

HEH lets not get overly dramatic u fukin freaks

[Levity]

HEH lets not get overly dramatic u fukin freaks

I agree.
Experimentation is God's greatest gift.
I don't think I'll ever use a needle again (I have a huge phobia). It was on sheer whim.

I'm glad I did it, I understand the shhoter's mindset much better, but I doubt I'll ever be one myself.

[exitwound]

Right now I want the screaming voice in my head to chill, smiling in the corner.....and the same for the pain that is clawing at my neurons from inside my very bones..... :(

I could sure use a good junkie friend who is steady with a needle, and a couple K4s right now =/

Or some straight up proper IV solution for that matter. Shit, it is getting harder by the minute not to drive down to the hospital and go to the non-critical care clinic for some dilaudid or fent IV...... =/

[Levity]

It may be a while until Levity is able to post again. He has some talking to do for now. I don't plan to nark on him to the doctors, but he is in some deep shit with me.

I just think its a tad funny that he goes on about honesty and trust while he has his own dirty secrets. I normally don't snoop or ask what he's been doing. Silly trusting me. But Levity has been acting out of character for a while and I checked his history to see if he was researching the problem. Because that's what he does. So, make sure you delete your history every time you close your browser folks.

I wish you luck on your own journey. And please wish Levity luck because we're in for a hell of a conversation.

Ciao,
The girlfriend who WAS none the wiser

[kyuss]

It may be a while until Levity is able to post again. He has some talking to do for now. I don't plan to nark on him to the doctors, but he is in some deep shit with me.

I just think its a tad funny that he goes on about honesty and trust while he has his own dirty secrets. I normally don't snoop or ask what he's been doing. Silly trusting me. But Levity has been acting out of character for a while and I checked his history to see if he was researching the problem. Because that's what he does. So, make sure you delete your history every time you close your browser folks.

I wish you luck on your own journey. And please wish Levity luck because we're in for a hell of a conversation.

Ciao,
The girlfriend who WAS none the wiser


Damn.
CCleaner folks.
Download it.Use it.

[antigonemuse]

It may be a while until Levity is able to post again. He has some talking to do for now. I don't plan to nark on him to the doctors, but he is in some deep shit with me.

I just think its a tad funny that he goes on about honesty and trust while he has his own dirty secrets. I normally don't snoop or ask what he's been doing. Silly trusting me. But Levity has been acting out of character for a while and I checked his history to see if he was researching the problem. Because that's what he does. So, make sure you delete your history every time you close your browser folks.

I wish you luck on your own journey. And please wish Levity luck because we're in for a hell of a conversation.

Ciao,
The girlfriend who WAS none the wiser


chicky... be gentle... and letting us in on his dirty laundry isnt exactly going to help you out. glade you care, worried you may chase him deeper into his experments. wait til your ready to listen, and not just pure pissy.

DD, yeah... Drauma

kisses

[AWOL]

Go easy on Lev. He's experimenting because he's having some sort of pain in his life that he's trying to escape. I know it is common thought that a lot of people kill themselves because they use drugs, but it's just the opposite. People use drugs to keep from killing themselves. Not sayin everyone who uses drugs wants to kill themselvs, I'm sayin we use to escape and feel good. Don't go ape shit on him, try helping him out. Honest to god I would have killed myself a couple of times if it wouldn't have been for an escape (drugs) from reality for a little while there. And I'm not trying to be dramatic, that's the honest to god truth. Now I use cause I enjoy it, but I know Lev has been going through some rough shit, so just try and listen to what's goin on with him instead of jumpin on him like all of my friends and family did to me. That doesn't help any. Just sayin.

[Levity]

Well that was fun.

The ex-fiance/reconciled girlfriend cracked into my Windows account and I had stupidly left this page open. I was asleep, and she pawed through all my posts, high-lighting a commenting about each little thing.

Everything is better...
Not okay, but butter.

However, I think I'm going to be away from this site and opiate abuse for a while, at least until her trust is regained and our relationship is more stable. A wise move, perhaps.

I have much respect for you all, and I wish everyone well. If you need to contact me, you can PM me and my e-mail will tell me.

Until then,

Namaste, and Happy Nodding

[flipside]

Do check in when you can Lev, you know what you need to do, I did not know the ex/ was back.

Don't forget you owe us that Beat the system write up if you are able to return.

For now I guess you gotta, learn the system, know the system and work the system to get that stability you need right now. Best of luck.

[SpecialGuy69]

Damn, that sucks, Lev. I hope you guys can work things out. Sorry it had to go down like that. It might end up being a good thing in the end (I doubt it, but you never know)

[moviebuff927]

It may be a while until Levity is able to post again. He has some talking to do for now. I don't plan to nark on him to the doctors, but he is in some deep shit with me.

I just think its a tad funny that he goes on about honesty and trust while he has his own dirty secrets. I normally don't snoop or ask what he's been doing. Silly trusting me. But Levity has been acting out of character for a while and I checked his history to see if he was researching the problem. Because that's what he does. So, make sure you delete your history every time you close your browser folks.

I wish you luck on your own journey. And please wish Levity luck because we're in for a hell of a conversation.

Ciao,
The girlfriend who WAS none the wiser

Uh oh
Trouble in the camp

Seriously, that was pretty fucking funny! Damn, reminds me why my girlfriend left me :D
Not that I was sad or anything
I had the biggest grin on my face

[shaunclo]

Shit......this reminds me of our old friend CornBurglar!!

The same thing happened to him, his wife found out about this place and had no idea he was using pods everyday. He hasnt been back since.

Best wishes Lev, your posts will be missed brutha!!!

[moviebuff927]

Trust me, it was the best thing that ever happened to me...seriously...this girl was following me everywhere, I couldn't even go take a shit without this girl following me! I had to cut that shit out fast, and did...I just made her so she couldn't take it anymore...a couple of overdoses and broken promises later she never returned my calls and I haven't heard from her since...heard she drives 500 miles a weekend to see this loser in Florida...best thing that ever happened to me

[Papa Verine]

I have to go now. I have some "cleaning" to do on my computer!

Ouch!

[AWOL]

^^ Preventative maintenence is always a good idea :)




Levity will be missed. I hope everything works out ok for him.

[Duckfeet]

Damn, that whole thing was kind of funny...I'm sorry it ended. Shit, he's lucky. My old lady would have been fighting with me that I didn't share with her ;-)

[kyuss]

Come on back levity,
make up another
account name that
she won't decipher.
And Seriously get CCleaner-
it removes all yer cookies
and tracks.
You can set yer firefox browser
to do the same upon closing.
Anyhoo,I know you'll lurk
so think it over.

yer bud-kyuss

[AWOL]

Just a thought, but maybe there's just a little too much personal info in Levity's posts and he's worried about that in regards to his job. I'll deffinetly miss him though, he was always very nice to me.

[SpecialGuy69]

Levity is cool as hell, hope he comes back. Seeing the noob posts going up lately, I'm glad that he decided against posting "the system" for all to see. There would have been too much information for some of these guys to handle. Come back, bro!

[nick]

Good luck Levity.We'll miss you.

[robojunkie]

Careful what you wish for regarding snooping, hounding, nagging, etc. gfs. They may leave (barring a clean up and no more opes, regained trust etc.) OR if they love you too much (if that's possible) they follow you down the primrose path then you have to live with having turned your girl/letting your girl become a junky believing "maybe she'd understand". It's one thing to have your (my) drug issues but instead of standing up after countless failed detoxes and saying "I love you" but I'm too fucked up and I will end up fucking you up so leave me. Didn't do and brought my girl down. Things are a lot better now but all the guilt, blame, fighting, lying, etc. was misery and I would always blame it on myself for not cutting the cord even though I did love her. It's hard to see yourself spiral but when you see someone you love go from pretty healthy/happy and not really into drugs other than pot/psychedelics to being a full on junkie and knowing it would have never happened if not for you (me) its awful, even more so when you get your shit together for the most part and then you see what you've wrought.

[greenfox]

It may be a while until Levity is able to post again. He has some talking to do for now. I don't plan to nark on him to the doctors, but he is in some deep shit with me.

I just think its a tad funny that he goes on about honesty and trust while he has his own dirty secrets. I normally don't snoop or ask what he's been doing. Silly trusting me. But Levity has been acting out of character for a while and I checked his history to see if he was researching the problem. Because that's what he does. So, make sure you delete your history every time you close your browser folks.

I wish you luck on your own journey. And please wish Levity luck because we're in for a hell of a conversation.

Ciao,
The girlfriend who WAS none the wiser


great. a snoopy. Must be nice to have your privacy raped like a four year old virgin. I object.

[Set]

Beware the Sons Of Kyuss...Deep & Dark...Welcome to the hole...Good thread levity...but I will inspect it more later!

:cool:

[nick]

I hate to say this MR Set,but levity has been sent to bed without his tea and will not be allowed out to play.

[CIIORNOTHING]

I say grow a pair and cut her loose lev. Who needs women when theres Morphine. ;)

[Chemical_Boy]

I hate to say this MR Set,but levity has been sent to bed without his tea and will not be allowed out to play.

I say grow a pair and cut her loose lev. Who needs women when theres Morphine. ;)

That's pretty funny:D

Can't blame the guy though for choosing a loved one over drugs. I wish him luck as I think that is a choice most of us would like to be able to make but just don't have the willpower. 'Course maybe he is using like a fiend and staying off the radar by not posting "See honey. . .No more posts on Ophile. I am clean now and that proves it. . . ";)

Seriously though, Levity if you are out there and reading this good luck bro. You could always sign back on with a different handle. . .

[earthenone]

I feel for lev, I am in the same place now, quit or loose my significant other, I don't think she'd really leave me, knock on wood, she knows i post here, but i doubt she'd ever read any of it, there is some things she just don't want to know, makes our relationship better.