rightie
07-04-2012, 02:16 PM
Well, it's been a while since I've visited this forum. I used to be here everyday searching threads endless in my quest for opiate information. I was an Oxycontin addict for almost 7 years before real change came. I had finished college as a software engineer and came into serious money on the internet. Various software programs I wrote along with the proper timing I was able to make money I never thought I would make. I started to celebrate my success (I thought I knew it all) going to clubs in NYC all night that's where the bad influences came. The drugs just started to escalate from there and eventually I found what I thought was missing in my life all this time: Oxycontin.
It was just incredible and I had the money to keep an endless supply going. I was spending upwards of $2500 a week (and I was buying in bulk too!) for almost 2 years straight. With any addiction it's never a problem aslong as the money is coming. No other stresses come upon you so you just keep coasting through. What happend next was completely unexpected all my software ventures failed and dried up because I did not deliver the next phase. I was so out of it I could not function let alone keep profitable business going. Everything fell apart, and I quickly turned to even deeper addiction to feel better about everything blowing up.
I kept getting high convincing myself that I would come up with the next best thing that'll bring me back to money. I just needed to stay high to come up with it.. well guess what? Never happend, just went deeper into debt. I eventually went deep into credit card debt and got arrested for being in a high speed chase that resulted in 2 people getting hurt. Complete breakdown, I had to move back home and thankfully my family the only people still there cared for me and tried to give me support. They bailed me out, and got me a lawyer. For all the years I was able to shower them with gifts it was hard for them to see this. My mother couldn't quite figure it out how did it let this happen? I've always had people tell me I was a smart guy, I was ahead of others when with these great ideas and how did I do this? What was I thinking? I wasn't ...
But it didn't stop there, being at home I ended up finding a job as a software developer for a company close by and the addiction continued. Every single paycheck went to Oxycontin except now I could no longer buy in bulk and prices were way higher (2008-2011). My parents were scratching their heads wondering how am I at home and still no progress? I kept lying as much as I could but it was obvious. It must've taken years off her life when she found out how much exccessive debt I had. They were able to help me through it and I slowly paid it off but still addicted to Oxycontin.
A breakthrough finally though, Purdue Pharma decides to stop making the Oxycontin we all loved and I eventually was scrambling to find substitues. That lasted for another year before it finally hit me: I was tired of this life. I was now entering my late 20's and everyone around me was so far ahead. For the guy who was YEARS above others, I have now fallen years behind them in terms of creating wealth. This was hard pill to swallow but I had to deal with it and let it go.
I finally got sick of it all, and decided to commit to suboxone program (I've been in them at different times). I decided I have to move on with my life and find a new passion. I decided I can't expect to create another great idea that will bring me money again. I have to focus on having a normal life and there's nothing wrong with 9-5. I let go of a lot of things and moved on. In the midst of all this, I found something that filled the void of drugs another addiction you could say.
That addiction was stocks & investing. The way I would wake up at 5am scouring for dealers to find drugs I now do the same watching business reports in the morning. I fills me up and keeps me going. I think if it wasn't for this, I don't know what would've happend. I think I'm that type of person who needs that constant addiction/hobby keeping them going. It hasn't been easy as I've had some losses & setbacks learning but I can say it's been so positive. I've learned so much that I actually have a following on twitter where people follow my investment advice. It feels like a new start, but I have so much more to go.
I wish I could've saved a fraction of the money I had at one point so I could've invested with it now. All that I know now I could've turned that money into something special BUT.. I let that go. I can't hold onto the past it's over with. I still work as a software developer in a major city 9-5. I'm currently on the final legs of a suboxone program were my doctor is a wonderful woman who is so understanding that we take it SO slow coming off this medication. I'm currently down to 1mg a day(from 24mg a day) as an someone who used to spend $2500 a week this is a huge progress for me. I know some people don't consider that clean but that's their problem this has been great way to get my life in order.
I still think about drugs at time when investments aren't going right or I feel that same pressure with a trade goes against me. That pressure I felt that made me turn to drugs years ago to come up with the next great idea. I now have the experience and tools to deal with it. I just know that I have to separate myself from it because it's ONLY MONEY. We all make mistakes and nothing can go 100% our way all the time. I think back on my previous life and I don't even know who that person was. He wasn't a dependable person and completely lost. I lost good years of my life but I can't dwell on it.
At this moment, I'm looking to buy brand new car and hopefully a year from now I will be able to lock in my first home. One thing the stock market teaches you expect the unexpected so I don't take nothing for granted. I know things can change tomorrow so I try to remind myself of the years lost and how it is time to put this old lifestyle completely to bed. There's no time for this for a man entering his late 20's looking to settle down and move on.
It was just incredible and I had the money to keep an endless supply going. I was spending upwards of $2500 a week (and I was buying in bulk too!) for almost 2 years straight. With any addiction it's never a problem aslong as the money is coming. No other stresses come upon you so you just keep coasting through. What happend next was completely unexpected all my software ventures failed and dried up because I did not deliver the next phase. I was so out of it I could not function let alone keep profitable business going. Everything fell apart, and I quickly turned to even deeper addiction to feel better about everything blowing up.
I kept getting high convincing myself that I would come up with the next best thing that'll bring me back to money. I just needed to stay high to come up with it.. well guess what? Never happend, just went deeper into debt. I eventually went deep into credit card debt and got arrested for being in a high speed chase that resulted in 2 people getting hurt. Complete breakdown, I had to move back home and thankfully my family the only people still there cared for me and tried to give me support. They bailed me out, and got me a lawyer. For all the years I was able to shower them with gifts it was hard for them to see this. My mother couldn't quite figure it out how did it let this happen? I've always had people tell me I was a smart guy, I was ahead of others when with these great ideas and how did I do this? What was I thinking? I wasn't ...
But it didn't stop there, being at home I ended up finding a job as a software developer for a company close by and the addiction continued. Every single paycheck went to Oxycontin except now I could no longer buy in bulk and prices were way higher (2008-2011). My parents were scratching their heads wondering how am I at home and still no progress? I kept lying as much as I could but it was obvious. It must've taken years off her life when she found out how much exccessive debt I had. They were able to help me through it and I slowly paid it off but still addicted to Oxycontin.
A breakthrough finally though, Purdue Pharma decides to stop making the Oxycontin we all loved and I eventually was scrambling to find substitues. That lasted for another year before it finally hit me: I was tired of this life. I was now entering my late 20's and everyone around me was so far ahead. For the guy who was YEARS above others, I have now fallen years behind them in terms of creating wealth. This was hard pill to swallow but I had to deal with it and let it go.
I finally got sick of it all, and decided to commit to suboxone program (I've been in them at different times). I decided I have to move on with my life and find a new passion. I decided I can't expect to create another great idea that will bring me money again. I have to focus on having a normal life and there's nothing wrong with 9-5. I let go of a lot of things and moved on. In the midst of all this, I found something that filled the void of drugs another addiction you could say.
That addiction was stocks & investing. The way I would wake up at 5am scouring for dealers to find drugs I now do the same watching business reports in the morning. I fills me up and keeps me going. I think if it wasn't for this, I don't know what would've happend. I think I'm that type of person who needs that constant addiction/hobby keeping them going. It hasn't been easy as I've had some losses & setbacks learning but I can say it's been so positive. I've learned so much that I actually have a following on twitter where people follow my investment advice. It feels like a new start, but I have so much more to go.
I wish I could've saved a fraction of the money I had at one point so I could've invested with it now. All that I know now I could've turned that money into something special BUT.. I let that go. I can't hold onto the past it's over with. I still work as a software developer in a major city 9-5. I'm currently on the final legs of a suboxone program were my doctor is a wonderful woman who is so understanding that we take it SO slow coming off this medication. I'm currently down to 1mg a day(from 24mg a day) as an someone who used to spend $2500 a week this is a huge progress for me. I know some people don't consider that clean but that's their problem this has been great way to get my life in order.
I still think about drugs at time when investments aren't going right or I feel that same pressure with a trade goes against me. That pressure I felt that made me turn to drugs years ago to come up with the next great idea. I now have the experience and tools to deal with it. I just know that I have to separate myself from it because it's ONLY MONEY. We all make mistakes and nothing can go 100% our way all the time. I think back on my previous life and I don't even know who that person was. He wasn't a dependable person and completely lost. I lost good years of my life but I can't dwell on it.
At this moment, I'm looking to buy brand new car and hopefully a year from now I will be able to lock in my first home. One thing the stock market teaches you expect the unexpected so I don't take nothing for granted. I know things can change tomorrow so I try to remind myself of the years lost and how it is time to put this old lifestyle completely to bed. There's no time for this for a man entering his late 20's looking to settle down and move on.