Faking Illness?

[Powdered Love]

So, if someone.. not me of course.. but someone was thinking of faking a illness to recieve opies at the hospital, what is the best route to take?

SWIM used to have a real illness and would occasionally use that to get pills from the ER, but that illness has long since healed up and is useless now.

I read somone's post about using the "migrane" excuse but that seems that it may not always work. I feel like i would get Immitrex or advil or something for that... not to mention maybe a friggin brain scan or something else time consuming and expensive like that. (swim does have insurance, but still..)

I guess i want to know, if it exists, a near failproof technique to procure opies from the ER. This would preferrably be something that was fast and minimally intrusive as well. (i don't want a thumb in my bum or a male nurse grabbing on my satchel or anything else like that.)

So, if someone wants to reply on this matter, please give a detailed plan of action... just for funzies :D

[Narkotikon]

I can think of two easy choices:

One: Go to the ER and complain of a major migraine with aura. Research though so you can accurately mimic the symptons. I've never done this, but have heard it can work. They might give you Imitrex though, especially if you tell them that you drove yourself. If they ask how you got there, tell them someone brought you or that you took a cab.

Two: An even easier method and one that I've done several times is to go in complaining of having a bad cold / flu and a horrible cough. Be sure to tell them that you can't sleep at night because of the hacking, and that you need your rest because you can't afford to miss school / work. They'll usually give you Histussin (which has 5mg of hydrocodone per 5ml, alone with an antihistamine and something else I think), or Codeine / Promethazine syrup, which basically sucks because the phenergan is too sedating to enjoy the codeine, although it does help with the itchiness of the codeine (I think it comes in a strengh of 30mg codeine per 5ml or something like that. I can't remember about the exact amount of promethazine though), or--if you're very lucky--you'll get wonderful Tussionex, which is an even stronger narcotic cough syrup (it has 10 mg of hydrocodone polystirex per 5ml, as well as an antihistamine, chlor-something I think). Tussy is your best bet for the bang if you're looking for hydro, but they don't always prescribe it. ALSO, the Tussy's Hydro polystirex is a plastic form for extended action, so it's doesn't quite hit as fast as the hydro bitartrate in the others, but it lasts longer, and if you've got a high tolerance, you could always take more. I don't think you're supposed to take a lot of the chlor-something antihistamine in it though. The last time I got it I got 4 ounces with was 210 or 220 millgrams of hydro and downed the bottle in a day, I was fine. Oh, another one is a syrup that has hydro (5 per 5) and guaiffenisin in it, that's the expectorant. If you take too much of that, you'll throw up and get nauseus.

Edit: If they try to give you some kind of syrup with DXM in it, take it, but call back the next day and ask for something stronger, they'll usually call it in for you.

[red26]

Back pain. I used it a hundred times. "I just wanted to get one last mow in before the end of season doc!" "I was helping(insert family member here) with whatever yesterday and now today I cant move" They'll do a few nerve tests on you like prick you toes and run something along the bottom of you foot to see if your ticklish there. React normally otherwise you'll get MRI's and X-rays. They'll give ya the whole range of motion thing, front, back, side to side. When they're checking you for muscle tension along your spine just lean foward alitle or whatever to make you muscles tighten up. I royally fucked up my back 8 years ago and it still is completely fucked.

[slugbone]

ive never tried something like that. i cant say that i WOULDN"T, if i was dopsick enough, but i would probably just rob a pharmacy or something like that.

some of our CP sufferers say that makes it harder for them to get the drugs they need. at least that is what i have read and i guess that is a consideration for me.

but i would not rule out actually harming myself enough to get something good, if i was no good at fakng it. like maybe banging my elbow into a wall or whacking my knee to get it swelled up.

i mean, if it was my only way to get some opiates, and i was fukking desperate, i would have no problem smacking my hand into a wall to fuck it up enough to get some shit. why not?

[Narkotikon]

ive never tried something like that. i cant say that i WOULDN"T, if i was dopsick enough, but i would probably just rob a pharmacy or something like that.

some of our CP sufferers say that makes it harder for them to get the drugs they need. at least that is what i have read and i guess that is a consideration for me.

but i would not rule out actually harming myself enough to get something good, if i was no good at fakng it. like maybe banging my elbow into a wall or whacking my knee to get it swelled up.

i mean, if it was my only way to get some opiates, and i was fukking desperate, i would have no problem smacking my hand into a wall to fuck it up enough to get some shit. why not?


I once knew this girl in '99 who was an opiate addict (I met her at the detox place, well, I was there for depression, she was there for w/d). Anyway, we started hanging out afterwards as friends, and at that time I wasn't really doing just opiates per se, just trying everything I could get my hands on. Anyway, one day she was out of oxy and she actually banged her hand in the car door, then asked me to drive her to the hospital. When we were there, the doctor looked at me like I had done it. I'm like, no, I'm just the driver. Anyway, I think she got a percocet and I know she got a script for Tylenol 3's, of which I was supposed to have gotten 5, but ended up getting 2. That was a strange friendship that ended quickly.

[madnesscult]

I've been thinking about this myself, as I will soon find myself in a position where I will be pretty much unable to get anything to keep me from being sick, and I decided that a migraine would be the easiest to fake, although I was wondering how easy it would be to prove that I didn't have one, ie some kind of scan or something?

I understand that by doing this we're kind of fucking it up for the CP people, but come on, you gotta do what you gotta do.

[Narkotikon]

I've been thinking about this myself, as I will soon find myself in a position where I will be pretty much unable to get anything to keep me from being sick, and I decided that a migraine would be the easiest to fake, although I was wondering how easy it would be to prove that I didn't have one, ie some kind of scan or something?

I understand that by doing this we're kind of fucking it up for the CP people, but come on, you gotta do what you gotta do.


I don't know if they can actually do a scan to tell if you have a migraine. Honestly, I'd say that they'd be too busy to do something like that in the ER, unless they thought you had head trauma. I'd say if you just told them that you have a history of migraines, that's they'd give you something (although it may not be what you want). Also, you could say you have a tension headache rather than a migraine. Those are also very painful, and tend to involve the muslces and stuff--dull throbbing, kind of like a migraine, but kind of different. Or, you could say you have cluster headaches. I do think that there are different treatments for each of those. So it would probably be a good idea to do a little research to know the symptoms and such.

[405FREEWAY]

No, there is nothing they can actually do to find out that you truly dont have a migraine. Go in there with sunglasses on, tell em all light causes an extreme jump in pain, tell the nurse, triage nurse, to turn out the lights when they are done talking to you, wince and moan when talking to them, rub your temples and side of your head, tell them you have taken your imitrex, but it only works right when you get your " AURA", and you missed that opportunity. Tell em you have been taking ibuprofen and tylenol all day with no relief. And when they ask if this has happened before, tell them, yes, i had to come to the ER, they gave me a shot of something, and it helped. This has been done countless times all over the west coast, but Nor ans SO cal, seemed to be the best with hefty shots of dillaudid in the er, and take home scripts for 20 vics, or perks. When they give you the initial pain shot, they will have you wait for 30 minutes, so there is no bad reaction, they will ask you if it helped, tell em a little, and they will give you another shot....30 min later u will be out the door with 2 nice shots in ya, and a script.

[Narkotikon]

Another thing you could do is to be a little dissociative. How can I explain this. You know when you're daydreaming and you just space out, and when someone is taking to you, it takes a minute or so to register before you actually say anything. Think Winona Ryder in Girl Interupted when she's in the psychiatrist's office in the beginning of the movie. Just sort of hesitate to answer and look grimaced. Tell them that the pain is too great and it's hard to concentrate.

[earthenone]

My wife gets migraines from time to time, she had one so bad she puked in the clinics waiting room, anyways they give her some coctail shot with visteril, and some heavy narcotics in it, and scripts for percosets, i would have to take off work and go meet her there and drive her home afterwords, i guess if you wanted to really make it look good you could take some epicack? syrup which makes you puke instantly right before you went in.

[Powdered Love]

wow, looks like the migrane thing would be the way to go... thanks to everyone so far for all the input. oh, and sorry to all the CP people... but don't blame people like me, blame the game. If one could buy opium at the phamacy, we wouldn't be having this problem...

[antony]

wow, looks like the migrane thing would be the way to go... thanks to everyone so far for all the input. oh, and sorry to all the CP people... but don't blame people like me, blame the game. If one could buy opium at the phamacy, we wouldn't be having this problem...

I hate that line, 'don't hate the player, hate the game.'

but don't apologize, what the fuck difference does it make to them? this isn't a cp forum. if it was, half of us would be lying about how bad our back is anyway. we all want pills.

[Powdered Love]

i feel justified in make that apology. i do feel sorry that CP people have a rough time getting the drugs they need because of people that just want to get high.... but i was making a commentary on the fact that the system is really the cause for the problem... not the people. so in this situation "don't hate the player, hate the game" really does apply, wether you like it or not.

[antony]

my post was directed at you (if you got that feeling), but what I mean is, everyone here likes opiates, what difference does it make to anyone how we get them.

Like i said, this isn't a cp forum, the only place they should complain about us is at a cp forum.

ps, I dont disagree with you.

[Chemical_Boy]

i feel justified in make that apology. i do feel sorry that CP people have a rough time getting the drugs they need because of people that just want to get high.... but i was making a commentary on the fact that the system is really the cause for the problem... not the people. so in this situation "don't hate the player, hate the game" really does apply, wether you like it or not.

my post was directed at you (if you got that feeling), but what I mean is, everyone here likes opiates, what difference does it make to anyone how we get them.

Like i said, this isn't a cp forum, the only place they should complain about us is at a cp forum.

ps, I dont disagree with you.

Coming from someone with CP- migraines in fact- I can say one thing. Who gives a fuck if some people fake it to get some meds? That may contribute a tiny bit to why it's hard to get that stuff, but I think it is more to do with stupid ass DEA and State/Fed regulations and a generally ignorant view on drugs, pain, and real life on the part of 90% of the people in this country. I mean, if the sole reason for most docs not wanting to prescribe meds is that maybe one or two out of ten people are faking it, and they are willing to screw 8 or 9 of the 10 "real" patients out of pain relief that is badly needed, then most docs are cruel ass people. I don't think that most are- I mean yeah, I know there are definitely some that are- but I think it is more fear of the DEA scrutinizing thier shit for alledgedly over prescibing meds and prosecuting them. What the hell does the DEA know about medicine- They are against all drugs. Should be the medical boards and what not that regulate doctors and keep the FUCKING government out of medicine.

Anyway, that said, someone who gets migraines and has been to the ER for real ones, here is some advice ( I ain't condoning it, but like I said I don't think it really makes a difference. Plus if you are in W/D you deserve some help getting out of that misery and they damn sure are probably going to tell you tough shit if you tell them the truth): Don't ham it up too much- once you have had these for many years you can deal with all but the worst and look somewhat normal. There are still ones that will put you over the top, but it is kind of hard to fake that kind of agony so if you try and they think you are faking they may be more likely to treat with things like toradol, compazine, hyroxazine, steroid injections, etc. . . Do little things- when they ask if you want to lay down, say no you would rather recline because laying down makes the throbbing worse. Squint a little. Rub at your temples. Ask for an icepack while you are waiting and use it on your eyes, forhead, or the back of your head. Next, people who get migraines and need emergency treatment know what works for them (you don't forget something like that if it helps when you are in that spot). When they ask,"what has worked in the past?" Tell them that sometimes they have tried different things, but they only thing that seems to really help when your in that shape is -choose something specific- IM demerol with some phenergan, or IV morphine with DHE. Combos are more effective for most people and more believable to them (the ER staff). If they ask how much it takes, either say that you are not sure but sometimes it takes a couple of tries, or come up with a modest number (i.e. 50-100 mg demerol, 10-20 mg morphine, 1-2 mg hydromorphone0 You are better off not knowing or saying that it helped a little but it still hurts after they give you the first push than saying a high dose. They will treat migraines with narcotics if you are lucky, but they won't give you a hefty dose, so the truth is if you are much of a user, the only thing that this would be any good for would be holding off W/Ds. Unless you can catch a buzz on a few vicodin, you probably are not going to walk out of an ED nodding from the meds.

Last, but not least, you could go through all of this and get a huge fucking bill and wind up with nothing more than a shot of toradol in the ass. Serves you right you fuckin fakers!! Just kidding. . .hehe

Now that I have alienated half of the other CP people on this site, I leave you with this:

:uhhohh:

[Powdered Love]

ok, on another note, remember the thread about a surefire way to get vikes by faking testicle pain? well, i was on the phone with friend who tried it recently, and he was laughing as he told me the doc felt on his nuts for a while and then all he got was darvocet.

just doesn't seem worth it, unless you like that sort of thing :juggle: <---- having a doctor juggle your balls that is...

[Duckfeet]

So, if someone.. not me of course.. but someone was thinking of faking a illness to recieve opies at the hospital, what is the best route to take?

SWIM used to have a real illness and would occasionally use that to get pills from the ER, but that illness has long since healed up and is useless now.

I read somone's post about using the "migrane" excuse but that seems that it may not always work. I feel like i would get Immitrex or advil or something for that... not to mention maybe a friggin brain scan or something else time consuming and expensive like that. (swim does have insurance, but still..)

I guess i want to know, if it exists, a near failproof technique to procure opies from the ER. This would preferrably be something that was fast and minimally intrusive as well. (i don't want a thumb in my bum or a male nurse grabbing on my satchel or anything else like that.)

So, if someone wants to reply on this matter, please give a detailed plan of action... just for funzies :D


Kidney stones. Most painful thing, agonizing pain, feels like you've been punched, well, in the kidneys, but the pain moves around, feels like it's in your stomach,kidneys, back...They usually immediately give urine test, of course, looking for blood. There is an anti-inflammatory shot, which is specific to K-stones, but when that doesn't work, VA ER I go to then gives shot of dilaudid.

Migraines, yeah, but that's been around a long time too, so, like, don't have huge track marks, and be talking like a dopefiend when you aim for it. Most docs are pretty hip to pain game...and when we do get a compassionate one, who will perscribe, junkies usually eat'em up. And worse, and to me more sickening, is after dopefiends hustle docs for as long as they can, then they snitch doc off. They busted this doc in Pensacola FL who was nothing but kindness when it came to oxys and D's...but then somebody's old lady called the DEA. Seems to happen every time a good one comes along.

[Powdered Love]

maybe it would be easier to fake the kidney stone thing if it had actually happened to me before, so i knew what to do. also i thought you had to prick your finger to put some blood in the urine sample in order for the whole scam to work... but i bet if one could pull it off, the reward would be nice :D

[red26]

I actually do have testicular pain as a constant now since a few months ago. I had THREE doctors play with my sac, an ultrasound, and a fucking cat scan cuz it was travelling into my lower abdomen. Yes, I got a truckload of pain killers, but no answers. Now this on top of low-back flare ups that make me want to kill myself litterally, bone chips floating around in my knee, a blown other knee, arthritis in my shoulders, ankles, toes, fingers, and an ankle that scares my dog it pops so loud when I walk past him I really dont give a fuck if I fake something to get some meds. I cant afford to go to a Pain Doc. and I sure as shit dont get pissed if ya'll fake a good one to get on your horse.

Sorry folks, I'm in a pissy mood.

[Paregoric Kid]

back pain. kidney stones, I think, I've heard people pricking their finger when they give you the piss test and you put a tiny drop of blood in your piss. look up the symptoms of illnesses where opiates/opioids are the preffered treatment and then study the symptoms like a script, also read up on how the doctors make a diagnosis too, etc.

[Duckfeet]

maybe it would be easier to fake the kidney stone thing if it had actually happened to me before, so i knew what to do. also i thought you had to prick your finger to put some blood in the urine sample in order for the whole scam to work... but i bet if one could pull it off, the reward would be nice :D

Yeah, I actually had it once, not that long ago, and I *think* it came for gobbling all the damn hydros I was eating...I mean, I had come off a dialudid run, then got tons of hydros, which, well you know...next thing I know, felt sick to my stomach, then it got worse, I knew something *really* bad had happened, ended up in V.A....*but* guys I knew, who used to fake it, did just what you said....according to docs, they put on my chart that I was now *susceptible* to these stones (there's more than one type, I don't remember) but we'll see... ;-)

[Duckfeet]

back pain. kidney stones, I think, I've heard people pricking their finger when they give you the piss test and you put a tiny drop of blood in your piss. look up the symptoms of illnesses where opiates/opioids are the preffered treatment and then study the symptoms like a script, also read up on how the doctors make a diagnosis too, etc.

Yeah, I was really hurting, and I *knew* to tell'em the anti-inflammatory didn't work, because he'd said next would be dilaudid...and then I was happy, but they kept me around, and I talked to'em a while, and they had me on iv w/lots of fluids, and it flushed out a little tiny like bloody grain of sand size stone, but if feels like you got a baseball bouncing around in your back, right by your kidneys...

It's kind of funny, because I really was in horrible pain...but at the same time, you know, I was sort of angling for the dope. I can't *help* it. I'm sure on my deathbed it'll be no different. One last dilaudid before I check out ;-)

Back when *I'd* be trying the migraine game--in FL they would give me demerol pills, which, you know, were messy, but you could fix, but I think they changed someting...last time I tried it I got splitting headache. But the guys *really* good at it, always went for the kidney stones.

But I'm coming off methadone and subs...so we'll see....wasn't that tricky. Piss test w/blood seems to be acid test. Doesn't take a genius to figure that one out....

[Ginger Snap]

The kidney stone is the best. Say you have flank pain, vomiting, sweating, the pain is colicky. Prick your finger and put a drop in the urine test. Usually, you will get IV morphine and take home meds. IF they want a CT scan, tell the Doc you haven't met your deductible of $5000 and cannot afford it. Tell them you have had them before and always pass them with antibiotics, pain meds and gallons of H2O. Tell them the stones are calcium oxalate, ( the most common) Act as if you are in agony, they TRULY are as bad as childbirth.

[Powdered Love]

seriously seems like i'd have to be pretty bad off to try that.. i mean there's so many variables that could go wrong in that situation for me... and some of those terms i've never even heard of before... not knocking you, i really do appreciate the advice... but i want something a little easier than that..

[Duckfeet]

The kidney stone is the best. Say you have flank pain, vomiting, sweating, the pain is colicky. Prick your finger and put a drop in the urine test. Usually, you will get IV morphine and take home meds. IF they want a CT scan, tell the Doc you haven't met your deductible of $5000 and cannot afford it. Tell them you have had them before and always pass them with antibiotics, pain meds and gallons of H2O. Tell them the stones are calcium oxalate, ( the most common) Act as if you are in agony, they TRULY are as bad as childbirth.

Actually worked *real* recently. First they tried toradol (sp?) and kept telling me how wonderful it worked, but I held tough, eventually got 'D shot for pain. Then 5mg oxycodone you-know-what's for takehome. I actually had K-stone one time, so I got it on my record, from Catscan, where it shows that I have the calcium oxalate, which I think most common. Good idea to take a little needle or pin, right? This was free hosp to me, and I let'em do both CTscan, and belly xray, but felt like it was working. they showed some calcium deposits, but it was blood in urine that does job. Only bummer is I have to lay there forever, getting IV drip, all that...but I was kicking subs, for first time, and got desperate....day and a half off of subs: I don't know *why* I was getting so damn sick...those subs are weird, too much like methadone maintenance, to me....

used to be considered more elaborate, but better hustle than migraines...still true, I think.

[flipside]

wans't there a thread a while back for guy?tes who could fake pain in their balls. undectable but script always an opi? will look for it and try to bump it for you guys.

Migraines, to avoid getting Imitrex, say youv'e already injected youself 2 x at home with no relief. ask for the ice packs, keep the lights off and say dilaudid, or morhpine whichever you prefer are what have been given to you in the past in the ER.

When I wnet in last time with a migraine this is what I did and I had an IV in within 15 min and IV Dilaudid on board. Then they wanted to do a brain scan to rule ou a bleed when the 1st shot did not clear the pain, but the pain was legit so I let them scan.( cause I was scared mabey it was a bleed) No bleed just a bad migraine. And no there is no definitive test for migraines, scans or otherwise. DX is made on history and symptoms at the time you present. Don't forget to say youv'e been throwing up. This will most certainly assure you an IV for hydration which they will then use for your meds since it's already there.

[Duckfeet]

wans't there a thread a while back for guy?tes who could fake pain in their balls. undectable but script always an opi? will look for it and try to bump it for you guys.

Migraines, to avoid getting Imitrex, say youv'e already injected youself 2 x at home with no relief. ask for the ice packs, keep the lights off and say dilaudid, or morhpine whichever you prefer are what have been given to you in the past in the ER.

When I wnet in last time with a migraine this is what I did and I had an IV in within 15 min and IV Dilaudid on board. Then they wanted to do a brain scan to rule ou a bleed when the 1st shot did not clear the pain, but the pain was legit so I let them scan.( cause I was scared mabey it was a bleed) No bleed just a bad migraine. And no there is no definitive test for migraines, scans or otherwise. DX is made on history and symptoms at the time you present. Don't forget to say youv'e been throwing up. This will most certainly assure you an IV for hydration which they will then use for your meds since it's already there.


I think there is like, a, "talent" to this kind of stuff. I'm *not* one of the best, but I've seen people who can always get at least percs from migraines. And usually get themselves either morphine of dilaudid shots. I mean there's a lot of "method acting," going on, and most people I know *overplay* their hand, get so desperate they start asking for certain drugs and stuff, and docs can tell. I find, for me, that it's important to clean up, not go in there like I dress for the methadone clinic, and to be patient, and let doc come up with the ideas....I mean, I took over an hour, after doc first saw me, yesterday, doing the whole anti-inflamatory IV, and the "hydration," and I kept saying, that *last time* I was here they gave me something that got rid of pain, and finall got the desired D outcome, and good takehomes. But I went in there w/attitude it would probably be an allnighter, and was ready, and got what I was after.

A whole lot, obviously, has to do w/who doc is. I mean, if they've had too many clowns in there already that day screaming for pain meds, nothing obvious is wrong with'em, then it's a tough sell. I had an old lady once that was *really* good at the "female troubles" thing, but she too was subtle, and let the *doc* come up with the idea of stronger meds, etc. I know all this is kind of obvious. I think I was always better at crashing into places late at night w/a crowbar and a sack, if you know what I mean....

[candy]

Hmm, Should I shoot in here and take a stab at this, being a nurse and all. Never had to fake an illness, always had those with their own illnesses I could take from, LOL!

I just read an article in a journal I get on nursing and this topic was in their by the way.

If your in the ER, it is going to depend on the illness. You could certainly go in and say you have Migraines, but with new drugs given IM and such....you may not get what you want.
I can tell ya what we or should I say, "they" will look for. Clock watchers! If your really in pain and want help, you won't watch the clock, even if your say on a timed schedule dose of IV medication. Bad pain does not alway mean someone who, oohs and ahhs, or rocks back and forth. This often depends on the type of pain anyway. If your coming in for bad back pain due to an injury, your most likely not going to rock back and forth. You certainly could grimace when moving or when asked on the pain scale from 1-10, your pain might be a 7-8.
Also in the ER, be carreful of knowing too much about medicine. If your heart is set on Morphine, tell them you once had a terrible reaction to Demerol, maybe hives. If you complain of painful kidney stones, most likely a urine screen(and they will do it) will show traces of blood. I have heard of patients pricking their finger into the urine specimen and some have gotten away from it, but they also look for other things in the urine, so be careful. A girl can get away with ovarian cysts and such, endometriosis, other female problems. You could say that because of insurance or lack off, any tests will cost you so much. Although you are aware treatment is necessary, the pain was so intense and Ibuprofen was not working, you just could not take the pain anymore.
If they should ask you what you have been given before. Tell them what it is you want. Maybe, " I once had Morphine through the IV and they gave me Percocets for home. Can you refer me to a doctor?" And, "If I cannot get an appointment right away with the doc and the pain doesn't go away, what do I do"? "I just cannot keep paying these ER bills and I will not know about the insurance until at least another week or so!"
Maybe you can get a kind hearted doc willing to make sure you have no pain to deal with at home.

But as a nurse who has worked in the ER....Good luck!

I myself have Migraines and cannot take the meds such as Immitrex, gives me an irregular heart rate. The may want to give you the Ergotamine inj. DHE and I always tell them when i get it my blood pressure goes up to high and they don't give it. When asked what works best, I tell them I have always got a shot of Morphine and since having them since I was a kid I have tried all the new meds with not much success. It could work for you.

Whatever takes you in to the ER, do some research on. Know what to expect. Trends are changing and pain meds are not always the first response anymore for problems associated with pain and while you may not have insurance, if they think there is something wrong, they may do some tests and try something new that has no real fun buss

Sorry for the rant, it's late, I don't feel well myself lately and if I have not made any sense at all, I just returned from the ER, well you know what I mean!, LOL!!!!!! J/K


Word to the wise and all kidding aside, it is just not to easy anymore in

[AWOL]

I've been thinking about this myself, as I will soon find myself in a position where I will be pretty much unable to get anything to keep me from being sick, and I decided that a migraine would be the easiest to fake, although I was wondering how easy it would be to prove that I didn't have one, ie some kind of scan or something?

I understand that by doing this we're kind of fucking it up for the CP people, but come on, you gotta do what you gotta do.

I can't help but feel bad so I'm going to tell you what I did last month ... Go in to the ER, (I went to a normal doctor) and tell them that you were carrying a wooden box, tripped and fell with the box going right into your ribs. It's important to say that that was a few days ago, so the red mark is gone now, but the pain has been constant and unrelenting and you can't even go to sleep (Saying it was a few days ago also lets them know that you're not in any imminent life threatening situation). Once you do get in bed, you can't figure out how to get out of bed because that involves sitting up, or pushing yourself up and you aren't able to do either of those things. It hurts very badly if you take deep breaths, but you can breath shallow just fine. If you cough or sneeze the pain makes you wish you were dead ... Then he'll say, lets take an x-ray, you say .. my insurance doesn't cover that at all and I can't afford to miss work / school / etc. I can't get any sleep because the pain is unrelenting. He will feel your ribs, pretend it's a pretty localized thing. He'll listen to you breath, breath pretty ok otherwise he'll think you may have punctured a lung or something. Just no really deep breaths. It hurts to reach anywhere / twist. You'll walk out with 30 Hydros minimum. I know that's not a lot, but if you're desperate, it's better than nothing. You can always go back in a week and hit him up for more, I got another script because I told him I have to do physical labor at work and I can't miss work or I'll get canned.

I hope everyone doesn't run out and do this, but it does work if you're sick. I hope it works out ok for you, Look up what it feels like to fracture your ribs if you have to so you can fake it good. It's not that hard to fake, just remember that it ALWAYS hurts, and you can't sleep. Also, doctor tried to give me trazodone, I told him I had broken my foot before and had that and that it really didn't do anything for me. So he said, have you tried Lortab? I said, yeah I had those when my wisdom teeth were taken out, that worked really good, I didn't get sleepy at work etc (he asked) ... anyways, good luck. :)

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to make sure I posted enough info to help madness out.

EDIT: I read Candy's post again and she ofcourse knows what's she's talking about, just wanted to say that that's what I did as well. It does always hurt / is irritating, but it's not like I was grimicing around like I was dying. When he asked if it hurt if I lifted my arm up, I did just that and said, oh yeah that doesn't feel very good. Don't act like you're dying, just act like the Advil isn't enough to get you through work tomorrow. Works for me.

[halfalien_s4]

i myself have had the same migraine since last saturday...so my dad took me to the er fri night. when i finally saw the doc (he knows me and my history of migraines) we bullshitted for a few minutes and he kindly asked me what they gave me last time since it had been a while since i had been in. i always manage to get either a shot (or 2) or an IV of dilaudid mixed with benedryl, toradol and reglan. i never tell them "just dilaudid." i always ask them to mix it with other stuff not only cuz it works, but because it also doesnt make me just look like im looking for opiates. between the 2 hospitals ive been to, i always see a doc that has known me for a while and knows what to give me. the first time i had a kidney stone however i knew it imediately....i had 3 at once and are very prone to tjem. thae first time i only got 100 mg demerol IM and it didnt even touch it. in total ive actually lost count of how many ive had. but the next time i ended up with a cool asian doc who would later know me well. he gave me IV diaudid and phenergran. with the kidny stone i told himmy back hurt badly, but was feeling it thru the front also and was tender to the touch. i could ffeel it moving down. i had also bought some azo at teh store which turned my urin a bright flourescent orange. that proved to him that it was burning to pee. of coarse he ran a cat scan and found another one dropping on the right side. on the migraine note, the make-up under my eyes had been rubbed off so i had dark circles under my eyes. i always also ask them to turn the lights off if they already dont do it for me which they usually do. i too have to have the bed sit up a bit cuz it makes my head hurt more otherwise. also the tv noise bothers me usually so i turn it down and curl up in a ball. kidney stones r the first worse pain in the world with migraines coming in third, but i gotta tell ya, ive had worse migraines than kidney stones if u can beleive that! well i hope this gives some pointerts to some people who find their wayu into the er....

[flipside]

I think there is like, a, "talent" to this kind of stuff. I'm *not* one of the best, but I've seen people who can always get at least percs from migraines. And usually get themselves either morphine of dilaudid shots. I mean there's a lot of "method acting," going on, and most people I know *overplay* their hand, get so desperate they start asking for certain drugs and stuff, and docs can tell. I find, for me, that it's important to clean up, not go in there like I dress for the methadone clinic, and to be patient, and let doc come up with the ideas....I mean, I took over an hour, after doc first saw me, yesterday, doing the whole anti-inflamatory IV, and the "hydration," and I kept saying, that *last time* I was here they gave me something that got rid of pain, and finall got the desired D outcome, and good takehomes. But I went in there w/attitude it would probably be an allnighter, and was ready, and got what I was after.

A whole lot, obviously, has to do w/who doc is. I mean, if they've had too many clowns in there already that day screaming for pain meds, nothing obvious is wrong with'em, then it's a tough sell. I had an old lady once that was *really* good at the "female troubles" thing, but she too was subtle, and let the *doc* come up with the idea of stronger meds, etc. I know all this is kind of obvious. I think I was always better at crashing into places late at night w/a crowbar and a sack, if you know what I mean....


I forgot to say that wait until you are asked what drugs have worked in the past. By no means suggest or request a drug. Rather wait until ? about history and what has been given in the past.

[Duckfeet]

Hmm, Should I shoot in here and take a stab at this, being a nurse and all. Never had to fake an illness, always had those with their own illnesses I could take from, LOL!

I just read an article in a journal I get on nursing and this topic was in their by the way.

If your in the ER, it is going to depend on the illness. You could certainly go in and say you have Migraines, but with new drugs given IM and such....you may not get what you want.
I can tell ya what we or should I say, "they" will look for. Clock watchers! If your really in pain and want help, you won't watch the clock, even if your say on a timed schedule dose of IV medication. Bad pain does not alway mean someone who, oohs and ahhs, or rocks back and forth. This often depends on the type of pain anyway. If your coming in for bad back pain due to an injury, your most likely not going to rock back and forth. You certainly could grimace when moving or when asked on the pain scale from 1-10, your pain might be a 7-8.
Also in the ER, be carreful of knowing too much about medicine. If your heart is set on Morphine, tell them you once had a terrible reaction to Demerol, maybe hives. If you complain of painful kidney stones, most likely a urine screen(and they will do it) will show traces of blood. I have heard of patients pricking their finger into the urine specimen and some have gotten away from it, but they also look for other things in the urine, so be careful. A girl can get away with ovarian cysts and such, endometriosis, other female problems. You could say that because of insurance or lack off, any tests will cost you so much. Although you are aware treatment is necessary, the pain was so intense and Ibuprofen was not working, you just could not take the pain anymore.
If they should ask you what you have been given before. Tell them what it is you want. Maybe, " I once had Morphine through the IV and they gave me Percocets for home. Can you refer me to a doctor?" And, "If I cannot get an appointment right away with the doc and the pain doesn't go away, what do I do"? "I just cannot keep paying these ER bills and I will not know about the insurance until at least another week or so!"
Maybe you can get a kind hearted doc willing to make sure you have no pain to deal with at home.

But as a nurse who has worked in the ER....Good luck!

I myself have Migraines and cannot take the meds such as Immitrex, gives me an irregular heart rate. The may want to give you the Ergotamine inj. DHE and I always tell them when i get it my blood pressure goes up to high and they don't give it. When asked what works best, I tell them I have always got a shot of Morphine and since having them since I was a kid I have tried all the new meds with not much success. It could work for you.

Whatever takes you in to the ER, do some research on. Know what to expect. Trends are changing and pain meds are not always the first response anymore for problems associated with pain and while you may not have insurance, if they think there is something wrong, they may do some tests and try something new that has no real fun buss

Sorry for the rant, it's late, I don't feel well myself lately and if I have not made any sense at all, I just returned from the ER, well you know what I mean!, LOL!!!!!! J/K


Word to the wise and all kidding aside, it is just not to easy anymore in

[Duckfeet]

Hmm, Should I shoot in here and take a stab at this, being a nurse and all. Never had to fake an illness, always had those with their own illnesses I could take from, LOL!

I just read an article in a journal I get on nursing and this topic was in their by the way.

If your in the ER, it is going to depend on the illness. You could certainly go in and say you have Migraines, but with new drugs given IM and such....you may not get what you want.
I can tell ya what we or should I say, "they" will look for. Clock watchers! If your really in pain and want help, you won't watch the clock, even if your say on a timed schedule dose of IV medication. Bad pain does not alway mean someone who, oohs and ahhs, or rocks back and forth. This often depends on the type of pain anyway. If your coming in for bad back pain due to an injury, your most likely not going to rock back and forth. You certainly could grimace when moving or when asked on the pain scale from 1-10, your pain might be a 7-8.
Also in the ER, be carreful of knowing too much about medicine. If your heart is set on Morphine, tell them you once had a terrible reaction to Demerol, maybe hives. If you complain of painful kidney stones, most likely a urine screen(and they will do it) will show traces of blood. I have heard of patients pricking their finger into the urine specimen and some have gotten away from it, but they also look for other things in the urine, so be careful. A girl can get away with ovarian cysts and such, endometriosis, other female problems. You could say that because of insurance or lack off, any tests will cost you so much. Although you are aware treatment is necessary, the pain was so intense and Ibuprofen was not working, you just could not take the pain anymore.
If they should ask you what you have been given before. Tell them what it is you want. Maybe, " I once had Morphine through the IV and they gave me Percocets for home. Can you refer me to a doctor?" And, "If I cannot get an appointment right away with the doc and the pain doesn't go away, what do I do"? "I just cannot keep paying these ER bills and I will not know about the insurance until at least another week or so!"
Maybe you can get a kind hearted doc willing to make sure you have no pain to deal with at home.

But as a nurse who has worked in the ER....Good luck!

I myself have Migraines and cannot take the meds such as Immitrex, gives me an irregular heart rate. The may want to give you the Ergotamine inj. DHE and I always tell them when i get it my blood pressure goes up to high and they don't give it. When asked what works best, I tell them I have always got a shot of Morphine and since having them since I was a kid I have tried all the new meds with not much success. It could work for you.

Whatever takes you in to the ER, do some research on. Know what to expect. Trends are changing and pain meds are not always the first response anymore for problems associated with pain and while you may not have insurance, if they think there is something wrong, they may do some tests and try something new that has no real fun buss

Sorry for the rant, it's late, I don't feel well myself lately and if I have not made any sense at all, I just returned from the ER, well you know what I mean!, LOL!!!!!! J/K


Word to the wise and all kidding aside, it is just not to easy anymore in

Excellent post, covering the small details which actually make a big difference. And also, as I'm sure you note: docs aren't stupid, and migraines and K-stones and the rest, have been around a while. The other curse, I think, is that *pain meds* have gone from kind of an exotic and somewhat rare hustle in say, the seventies, to commonplace problem. I mean, this may be hard to believe, but at one time *everybody* didn't like pain meds, and checking your Aunt Mildred's medicine cabinet could sometimes come up with gold.

And having said that, I'd also like to say that the ER gig, isn't something that I'm personally very proud of: it does screw it up for the people that are in chronic pain, and makes for very suspicious docs...and with the new DEA and it's gestapo tactics, docs have good reason not to want to over-perscribe this stuff. And my pal out here, she's a nurse, and an opiate addict, and she tells me enough stories to make it even more discouraging, because sounds like a lot of that dilaudid either gets watered down or diverted.

But as long as our gov't thinks it is it's sacred purpose to protect us from ourselves, we well continue to have to take unpleasant and dishonest measures like hustling hospitals...and cabals from TJ to Bogota will continue their reign of terror...

Duckfeet
Sunday morning coming down...

[AWOL]

Update: Just got back from the doc's (same doc) ... 30 more, only 5/500 ... but I'll take what I can get with my $12 :)

Doc told me to "use these sparingly" so I guess I'll take his advice and hold em for when I'm feelin sick.... oh who am I kidding. I'm running the water already.

[Buckshot]

I've done the back pain thing and it worked, bottle of T3's....not great.

I've done the migrane thing and got IM'd with toradol.

I suggest going in the same docs offcie mulitiple times with back pain and building a case over time. Getting stronger dope as time moves on.

[Karlin]

I understand that by doing this we're kind of fucking it up for the CP people, but come on, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Well I am glad to see that you are aware of the drawback to faking illness to get opies. I used to be pretty angry with the fakers for messing it all up for those of us actually in pain. I used to want to hurt them bad, so they will know about real pain, and because I was so angry about NOT being believed.

Now, I see that the basis of the whole problem is prohibition anyways. And, that the attitudes of doctors towards pain - being suspicious - was created long ago, and it is there no matter if nobody ever faked an illness again.

But it certainly has made my life horrid. Well, the pain made my life horrid, but the public ridicule and doctor disbelief really multiplies my suffering.

It is important to acknowledge that there really are SOME people in pain all day every day, despite the fact that there are fakers. Some people don't get that part, and assume we are all fakers. I feel totaly left out in the cold when that happens. A doctor sat there and said "well you are lying", when I was having bad leg cramps and a migraine headache and low back pains and a pain in my gut. That many pains just raises the suspicious flags, and wow is that a nightmare to be disbelieved WHEN I AM IN THAT MUCH PAIN.

Anyways, if I do find someone faking pain, I probably will not hurt you, now. Lowering yourself to fake pain to get opies indicates some kind of a problem that you are self-medicating for.

[AWOL]

But I am in chronic pain, life.

[Karlin]

But I am in chronic pain, life.

Ya, I am starting to understand that. I still would suggest that it is some kind of illness that makes you say that. Maybe undiagnosed, maybe mental.

maybe just 'dis-ease' - does that hit the nail on its head?

So ya, go for it. The real problem is prohibition - if you feel you want, need, whatever drugs then I say you should have the right, as an adult, to make that choice [with some caution, with information, about what you are gettting into].

By the way, as a 'drug seeker' who is actually in pain, I have NEVER BEEN SUCCESSFULL in getting opiates from the emergency, or even a walk-in clinic!!

Isn't that funny??

ok, Ironic then?

[pdxninja]

anyways they give her some coctail shot with visteril, and some heavy narcotics in it, one time for a major jaw surgery they gave me something called "potters cocktail" oxy/vistiril/apap/ and something else was in it, i forget.

i hate the quality of the health centers for college. they wont prescribe anything better than darvocet. one time i was really sick and in a lot of pain so they gave me a couple darvocet and told me to wait and come back to take a throat swab test the next morning. well the darvocet didnt have enough acetaminophen in it so i wound up in the hospital with a 104 degree fever (i had an abscess in my throat). that night sucked hardcore.

one tip i hear a lot, is if you are young, dress very nice, and you are more likely to get better results.

[lucifus]

my friend went to the ER and told them he was in wd from oxy. he asked is there anything you can give me? they gave him a script for 8 2mg suboxone. he goes back every month and has gotten a higher dose.

[AWOL]

my friend went to the ER and told them he was in wd from oxy. he asked is there anything you can give me? they gave him a script for 8 2mg suboxone. he goes back every month and has gotten a higher dose.
what? .............

[I-Nod]

I've done the back pain thing and it worked, bottle of T3's....not great.

I've done the migrane thing and got IM'd with toradol.

I suggest going in the same docs offcie mulitiple times with back pain and building a case over time. Getting stronger dope as time moves on.

I've also gone for back probs and walked out w/ 30 5/500 hydro, 20 flexerils and some 800mg Ibuprophen (mispelt?). I really did hurt my back tho (run a construction biz.) The one thing I've noticed EVERYTIME I've hurt my back is that there's always been heavy lifting envolved hours before... and that when my back actually kinks up and starts throbbing is when I'm doing the stupidest thing. For example, hung drywall all day and was fine. Got back to the hotel room and go to set my cell on the little night stand and boom! Couldn't stand back up straight, just fell back on the bed. The other time same thing, except I just went to sit down on a pallet and boom. Figured small details like this wouldn't hurt. (no pun intended)

[AWOL]

Tell them you broke your rib, worked for me (I really did break my rib once)

[ProdigalSon]

Ive done three things and sometimes went right from one hospital to the other down the road a day later

1.Kidney stones. Gotta prick your toe in the bathroom when they ask for a urine sample and get the blood into your piss. Make sure you take a LONG time in the bathroom, say you feel like you bladders full but you cant squeeze a drop. But DO NOT POKE YOUR FINGER. They have a cance of seeing it. Look at the anatomy of a dude and see exactly where yur kidneys are. How low they are, whick kidney you wanna make the scapegoat. Sometimes you get a scan, sometimes you dont. When they dont see it in a scan they always have blow it off. And on a side note I just dealt with REAL kidney stones and motherfucker they hurt. Always got perc 5s even when I wasnt bullshittin

2.Some guy posted about nutsack pain. No one of his balls hurt. THIS IS PURE GOLD. Search testicle pain with the search engine and she'll come up. That was fool proof. I had used it 4 times over a months period and my insurance came back saying exploratory surgery because scans couldnt pick up anything so I cut that out. 60 Purple 10mg Lortabs

3. And the one ive never had questions with. Go to the ER and just fake the worst fucking pain you can. Hunch over, dont talk much, growl and shit. "Doc my hole body hurts. Nothing happened its been coming on for a couple days. Help me!!! Ive never been in this much pain" Do it up Acadamy Award style, Ive been tired after, and I was good. Tons of tests and shit but instant dilaudid. Then 10 min later said it wasnt working they gave me another 8mgs("even though this isnt proper protocol") and put me on my own controlled drip. It was great I didnt want to leave. Sent me home with dilaudid pills once (that didnt do a damn thing) and vicodin ES the other time

[Euphoricgirl]

Your good pill, will you go to the doctors for me???? :-)

[ProdigalSon]

Your good pill, will you go to the doctors for me???? :-)


I would do anything for you. Its never failedme just got a high completity rating. Why dont you try it, do ya have ins?

[L0VE]

ive never tried something like that. i cant say that i WOULDN"T, if i was dopsick enough, but i would probably just rob a pharmacy or something like that.

some of our CP sufferers say that makes it harder for them to get the drugs they need. at least that is what i have read and i guess that is a consideration for me.

but i would not rule out actually harming myself enough to get something good, if i was no good at fakng it. like maybe banging my elbow into a wall or whacking my knee to get it swelled up.

i mean, if it was my only way to get some opiates, and i was fukking desperate, i would have no problem smacking my hand into a wall to fuck it up enough to get some shit. why not?

Same here.

[roxi*stardust]

Back a few years ago I had REAL BAd female probs, endometriosis, fibroids, extreme pelvic pain. So bad I thought about killing myself, after many trips to the ER, with proof mind you(MRI's Ultrasounds) I never got a damn thing except a shot of Toradol and some take home RX's of Talwin NX and Ultram. I had to get meds from the streets because even my OBGYN and family Doc wouldn't RX, "you are young we don't want you addicted". Finally I found a good Doc, but I here of all these people going to the ER and getting meds, so one day I'm out of meds and go to the ER after falling and whacking my knee (little swelling, med bruise) guess what I get an RX! The damn thing didn't even hurt. I guess what I'm leading up to here is, it depends on the doctor most times, and it certainly helps when they can visually see something is wrong with you.

[scarlett44]

After i had meningitis, I had severe headaches. All I had to say when i went to the er was, I had meningitis a month ago, and the docs would say, ya, that takes a long time to get over. They prescribed, morphine pills, stadol, hydros, and one time i got an iv of dilaudid(however you spell it)
When i actually had the meningitis, the pain moved to my neck and thats how they knew what it was. Of course you have to have a spinal tap in order to find out, but they gave me a shot of demerol and then a few minutes before the spinal tap, they pushed a ton of morphne in IV and I never felt the spinal tap. it was worth the high. Or you can go bowling and cross the little line you arent suppose to and you will definetly fall on your ass and get hurt

you can also say you have had a toothache and an infection but your dentist is out of town. They always give meds for toothaches

[loves a b....]

SWIM told me that he uses back pain specifically DDG Degenerative Disk Disease, will work fine in the ER, he always says he exacerbated his condition somehow, movig shit around in the house, feeding the dogs(heave 50lb bag o'food, etc... let them know your pain scale is between 6-8, anything higher you need to cry a little;) migraine usually works too, don't let them give you toradol, tell 'em it does not do anything for you(had it b4). good luck...

[dissident]

one day recently, one guy went tho hospital because he was about to start withdrawls. thought about breaking his finger, but when it came time to doing that it kinda hurt. he didnt wanna go into withdraw cause his girlfriend would be like why do get sick every couple weeks WAIT A SECOND I KNOW YOUR KIND YOU'RE A JUNKY. anyway, I decided to go with the migraine story. worst migraine ever, turn off the lights blah blah blah. first they gave me imitrex. 20mins later i said- is it possible that made it worse cause it almost feels like it. then they put an iv in and i get exited. but first they wanna try reglan and torradol. fuck you. so like 5 mins later i start feeling like im gonna freak out i cant stay still, like somebody just injected me with 1000grams of meth. i'm like GET THE FUCKING DOCTOR SOMETHINGS WRONG! (and this part is true) the doctor comes in and is like kinda laughing and he's like oh man, i'm sorry sometimes reglan (metaclopramide) can do this to people its not often but it happens. he's like i'll get you some benadryl that'll calm you down. and im like OH MY GOD IVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS MY FUCKING HEAD HURTS MY EYES I CANT HANDLE THIS ANXIOUS FEELING AND MY EYES/HEAD AT THE SAME TIME!!! so he's like oh nurse get him 2 of dilaudid and some benadryl and i barely cared cause of the reaction to the reglan. but aaahhhh even 2 dilaudid iv felt pretty nice. so he comes back 30 mins later and is like how you feelin i'm like well its still there real bad but i almost feel like i can walk home and try to sleep now. the doctor says well, i like to send people out of here feeling at least a little better, you're not maxed out on that last shot, i'll do one more. so i get 2 more dilaudid blah blah about 30 mins later i'm like i gotta go if i dont walk home now im gonna be locked out. so that fixed me for about 45 mins post leaving the hospital. 4 hours later i'm hurtin, and this is from tramadol withdrawl folks so dont fuck with me about it being tramadol cause i've come off of every opie you can name including a 500+ mg oc habit. anyway so im hurtin 4 hours later didnt help much, not worth the drama. oh and by the way without insurance, the bill was 2700$. not fucking around. if you wanna pay 2700$ for 4 mgs of dilaudid after putting out so much effort to act, then do it, sometimes i know when it really hurts it might be worth it, but thas somebody's story i know pretty well.

[mikells43]

you can get arrested for that so dont have any track marks. trust me i allmost did from a doc that knew my schmes lol so be careful and dont use backpain cause everyone uses that one. come up with like a shoulder injury or dislocation that will work . just have someone pop u out of place lol. i can pop myself painlessly that allways worked for at least 4mg of dialudid and some versed and fentynal to sidate and reduce. that was back in the day