Funniest music to pork to. (you read it right)

[WarmCyanide]

Dorje inspired me with "best music for funeral" thread. I think there are actual compilations out there that have the best music to "make love" to. This is not a Marvin Gay(e) thread. one of my very few obscure thoughts the other day was: If you were in the middle of intercourse and a song came on, What would it have to be to make you/you partner burst out in laughter midcoitus and be unable to keep going without collapsing on each other laughing. In order for this to work, you'll have to do some imagining HAHA.

Here are some that I think would be hilarious.

1) Bicycle - Queen

2) Anything by Tiny Tim or any death metal.

3) any type of Circus Polka

4) I want a new drug.-Huey Lewis and the News

5) Theme from Full House or Three's company

6) Locomotive breath - Jethro Tull

7) Rawhide - Rowdy Yates

8) I like food - Descendents

9) you fucked up/ put that coke on my dick - Ween

10) and lastly, if you have no partner: theme from Diff'rent Strokes

Any one think they have one that's better than Cyanide's ten???:cool:

[dorje]

!. Lost Penis-Thelonious Monster
2. You been a good old wagon, Honey but you done broke down-Dave Van Ronk
3. Swing Low Sweet Cadillac-Dizzy Gillespie
4. Don't let them drop that Atomic Bomb on me-Charlie Mingus
5. Constipation Blues-Screaming Jay Hawkins
6. I want a lover with a soft touch-Pointer Sisters
7. Salt Peanuts-Charlie"yardbird" Parker
8. Drums of Passion-Olantunji
9. Fresh Flesh-FEAR (Oh I'm so clean cut..I just want to fuck some slut)
10. Death don' Have No Mercy ( I just like this version-it's not appropriate

Your list is good. Glad I could inspire. Get Down...Get back up again

[WarmCyanide]

Thanky Tom Hanky dorje. Id say that number one on your list MAY be the best but I'm still thinking about it.

[HistoryofMadness]

amazing grace is mine...

whoa that actually sounds a little more sick than i meant for it to, oh well.

[Opiyum]

First thing that came to mind was "Whip It" by Devo. I kinda wanna try that one.

95% of all They might be giants songs.

Bridge over troubled water...Dynamo Hum...Prison Sex...Sexy Boy(Air)....Star Spangled Banner

[vaxn8]

OK, there is a song that you just can't hear without thinking fuck. Part of it for me is tied up in an old guy (ex would be a better term, not old man), and it was playing one night while the action was happening. Even before that night though, it just always brought the image to my head.

It's Steve Vai, and I'm pretty sure the title is Bad Horsie. No words of course, but you can't hear it and not think about fucking. Honestly, that's the only song that does that for me, everytime I hear it. After "that night" it added even more images and I can actually smell the guy in the room almost (well his cologne, I loved that stuff). I've often wondered if he was using some kind of opiates that night because it was all night, and I mean all night. Have never had a guy come anywhere close to what he did that night. I think as it gets farther and farther away, my brain inflates the memory even more;) :D ! I knew he was a pot smoker and drank beer. At the time, I think I was drinking, so it's a little foggy, but great memory, I love that song. Damn, now I'm going to be up again all night, I've got to stop doing these crazy nights!:D

[Coddfish]

shock me or watchin' you or hard luck woman--kiss (actually, many many kiss songs would be funny to do it with)

shrivel up--devo (This is my number one.)

double dare--bauhaus

nights on broadway-bee gees

hokey pokey

call me--blondie(actually, I just think this one and other blondie songs are good for that purpose, not really funny)

sister golden hair surprise--america

tv mama--elmore james

smooth crimanal--micheal jackson (hee hee)

inna gada da vida(sp?)--iron butterfly (to outlast the song?)

[vaxn8]

OK, I'm a big moron! I read the title as FUNNEST music... So on topic, it would have to be that same night. At the time, I had a 200 disc cd changer, so lots of songs played. The one that actually did make us stop and laugh though was Achy, breaky heart! Embarassed to admit it was in my player, but for some reason it was!

[dorje]

Everybody has good songs. Sounds like some of us also had some good experiences but Lost Penis may still be funniest. Who knows ? Constipation Blues by Screaming Jay Hawkins isn;t about sex but if your stoned on weed it produces those belly hurting laughs. Plus according to posts some of us suffer from the condition due to opiates. Whip It great devolution song. Blondie songs good just cause she's a bomb-What was it in first Wired Magazine 1960-Make it with Marilyn Monroe, 1980-Come in Blondies mouth-erotic ideals? Come on Baby Let the Good Times Roll but I forget the duets name. Una Muy Bonita Ornette Coleman. Alice in Wonderland by Charlie Mingus because it';s real long and beautiful just like some nights of heroin and passion. For pure fun Some of the old double entendre Race records are cool -can't get enough because his meat is tough (Butcher blues) And I here Brigitte made records that were pulled of shelves by censors because of background coital noises (now looped on pornographic quicky loops as adverts for Web sites)

[HistoryofMadness]

ok, I'm back for a second go... several years back I, uh, had a 'girl friend' (?) that was sort of off and on if you know what I mean, and anyway, we were at her house 'hanging out' and the song 'i got 5 on it' was in her cd player (WTF?) but it was on the instrumental version of the song, on a loop, and it just went on and on and on...

anyway, I rarely hear the song, and really wasn't that familiar with it at the time, but on the offhand occasion, like once every few years, when I hear the beginning, the strangest things start to happen... hehehe damn.

so at this point I'd say that's the LAST song I'd be 'porking' to... I do think Charlie Daniels or Hank Williams would be alright, or maybe some coletrain or really any jazz...

interestingly enough most of the time I've just got some classical music going, debussy or maybe 'the requiem' by mozart (that was a really nerdy joke by the way)... of fuck it. i'm done.

[Levity]

Anything by this guy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MC_Hawking

[antony]

Aphex Twin-Come to Daddyhttp://youtube.com/watch?v=4cFlaWxWDhI

Stan Bush-The Touch-http://youtube.com/watch?v=1s7z9AgjEuA
honorable mention-Mark Wahlberg-The Touch-http://youtube.com/watch?v=3C9Bng7NPPY

Dr. Dre-Bitches Ain't Shit (Ben Folds Redux)http://youtube.com/watch?v=UWnyRubY-Xo

Toadies-Tyler(If rape isn't romantic, I don't know what is)-http://youtube.com/watch?v=QpZuNMSVfR0

Method Man and D'Angelo-Break ups 2 Make ups-http://youtube.com/watch?v=OI97fsCqyEM

Ice Cube-Check yo Self ('The Message' remix)cuz big dicks up yo ass is bad for yo health-http://youtube.com/watch?v=Y9116_WYnW4

Aphex Twin-Windowlicker-long video, funny, but music starts about 5:00, mins in.http://youtube.com/watch?v=7m6dqef6DyE

Iggy Pop-I wanna be your doghttp://youtube.com/watch?v=Eer9UoqN_9E

Love Among Freaks-berserker, clip from 'clerks'http://youtube.com/watch?v=5D-9X3ooFvo

Last, but not least, Q Lazzarus-Goodbye Horses-http://youtube.com/watch?v=xjEoBO63hzM

[nick]

if you don't want to fuck me,fuck off. By Wayne/Jayne County and the electric chairs.I don't have a lot of luck with the ladies.Due to my habit,it's a case of anyone who'll have me I don't want.Sorry for bastardising the great Groucho.

[Opiyum]

MEATLOAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!



ANY

[chemboy7]

The Children's Prison - Boards of Canada
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4tTKITTfK0

[antony]

The Children's Prison - Boards of Canada
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4tTKITTfK0

yea, that'd do it. good one, chem. never heard that boc before. favoriting that one.

[WarmCyanide]

smooth crimanal--micheal jackson (hee hee)



Perfect!!!

First thing that came to mind was "Whip It" by Devo. Star Spangled Banner
Excellent! synth in "whip it" would be Hilarious!!


Aphex Twin-Come to Daddyhttp://youtube.com/watch?v=4cFlaWxWDhI


Aphex Twin-Windowlicker-long video, funny, but music starts about 5:00, mins in.http://youtube.com/watch?v=7m6dqef6DyE



I'm an avid Aphex lover. basically any aphex song would be perfecto...

The Children's Prison - Boards of Canada
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4tTKITTfK0

boards of canada--pick up their CD released last oct. "campfire headphase" amazing shit funny to F to

Very good picks all!!

I forgot one.. "People Ain't No Good" The honorable Nick Cave

how bout next time during all the moaning and groaning during intercourse, try shouting "Shiver me timbers!!!" haha

[Curio]

'Short People' by Randy Newman

'It's Now or Never' by Elvis Presley

'Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini' by Brian Hyland

[antony]

I'm a lazy, man, so I won't review the thread to see if anyone has mentioned "Rape Me" Nirvana, so;

"Rape Me" Nirvana

[WarmCyanide]

I'm highjacking my own thread so....

:jumping-sRED ALERT:jumping-s....

NEW GEICO CAVEMAN COMMERCIAL!!!!

click link -------> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZrjr4A-ASQ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZrjr4A-ASQ)


This is the illest geico commercial yet.

[chemboy7]

boards of canada--pick up their CD released last oct. "campfire headphase" amazing shit funny to F to

I actually got it right about the time it was coming out. Not too big into ambient/chill shit but the headphase is an awsome CD... I could do without the silent parts but they serve their purpose.

[dorje]

Ever hear Muslim Gauze, Lot;s of ambient (call to prayer, walking through the bazaar, etc) all from a dude who never left England OD I believe

[WarmCyanide]

music has the right to children. some harder tracks there. it's hard for ambient not to be boring i understand. it's tough to select the right ambient shit. brian eno is pretty tits. but um..whats his fucking
name. did the slingblade soundtrack hold on .... Daniel Lanois! did the soundtrack for it. very nice stuff.


new entry to funniest pork song that the mouse in my pocket just thought of...

Suicide's an Alternative - Suicidal Tendencies.

[zombiewoof23]

Rolling Stones - Sympathy for the Devil - "Tell me baby, what's my name!"

James Brown - Papa's Gotta Brand New Bag

Curtis Mayfield - Superfly or Pusherman

Quiet Riot - Cum on Feel the Noise

Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis

Last but not least: Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

[Opiyum]

I'm highjacking my own thread so....

:jumping-sRED ALERT:jumping-s....

NEW GEICO CAVEMAN COMMERCIAL!!!!

click link -------> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZrjr4A-ASQ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZrjr4A-ASQ)


This is the illest geico commercial yet.

Since you've decided to waste time talking about how great some commercial is I feel it's necessary to share this bit of useless information. I, no lie, have been wearing my boxers inside out all damn day. I realized it when I put them on in the morning but decided it wasn't worth the energy to reverse them.
This is the beginning of a gruesome war between you and I Senoir Cyanide. First Anna Nicole Smith and now Geico.....You've gone to FAR!

[chemboy7]

music has the right to children. some harder tracks there. it's hard for ambient not to be boring i understand. it's tough to select the right ambient shit. brian eno is pretty tits. but um..whats his fucking
name. did the slingblade soundtrack hold on .... Daniel Lanois! did the soundtrack for it. very nice stuff.


new entry to funniest pork song that the mouse in my pocket just thought of...

Suicide's an Alternative - Suicidal Tendencies.

A fucking Eno fan here, no shit? It's been awhile since I broke any of it out but there are some really cool disc there... each ones so different though there's alot of it I don't care too much for. It is harder to get into ambient stuff, there's not enough going on; same reason I don't like most D+B. Music has a right to children is definately worth the purchase (or the download if you like stealing music as much as I do) but I still say it doesn't stand up to the headphase, it is alittle more chill but it is also more pyschedelic, IMO.

[HistoryofMadness]

SEX DWARF!!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOGLcOkI1Ss) If you haven't heard this song, you MUST listen... and imagine sweet sweet lovin' going on with that shit in the background...???

[WarmCyanide]

Since you've decided to waste time talking about how great some commercial is I feel it's necessary to share this bit of useless information. I, no lie, have been wearing my boxers inside out all damn day. I realized it when I put them on in the morning but decided it wasn't worth the energy to reverse them.
This is the beginning of a gruesome war between you and I Senoir Cyanide. First Anna Nicole Smith and now Geico.....You've gone to FAR!


I love anonymous wars on the internet. Very chivalrous. especially in my thread sob sob.

[Curio]

Right Said Fred's: "I'm too sexy"

Jimmy Buffett's
'Why don't we get drunk and screw?':

I really do appreciate the fact you're sittin' here?
Your voice sounds so wonderful?
But yer face don't look too clear?
So bar maid bring a pitcher, another round o' brew?
Honey, why don't we get drunk and screw??
Why don't we get drunk and screw?
I just bought a water bed, it's filled up for me and you?
They say you are a snuff queen?Honey I don't think that's true?
So, why don't we get drunk and screw

-- Spoken: "Pick it Coral Reefers, here we go..."

Why don't we get drunk and screw
I just bought a waterbed it's filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen
Honey I don't think that's true
So why don't we get drunk and screw
Yeah, now baby I say,
Why don't we get drunk and screw

[kyuss]

Strokin-Clarence Carter

and

I love the Dead-Alice Cooper

[WarmCyanide]

da da da dat da daaaaaa!!!! charge!!!!!!!!!!!! (organ music in background)<---- no pun intended

[orangejuice]

... i havent read this thread much, i dont kno shit about these songs yall speak of. but you, cyanide, you'sa crazy son uv a bitch, you kno that ;)

I kno this has absolutely nothing to do with this thread guys, and im sorry. Im trying to post this crazy ass fucking picture i saw on national geographic website the other da. Its of this damn python that ate a pregnant sheep and cant even move now. Hope it works.

[orangejuice]

Yeah, cool, it did it. I have another one of a python that busted open after eating a croc! Crazy llooking, but ill spare you all of it. Sorry again.

[vaxn8]

OJ--that is wild! Wow, I knew they could expand but didn't tihnk it was that much! Unreal!

Chem- that is one freaky song! Does he keep saying "luring disco dollies to a life of LICE"???? That's gross if he is!

[chemboy7]

Chem- that is one freaky song! Does he keep saying "luring disco dollies to a life of LICE"???? That's gross if he is!

The children's prison? The only vocal sample in there is that "I guess I'm growing up" part; there is quite a bit that gets wrote on the screen though... mostly just kid stuff and "they'll bleed you dry", but it moves really fast maybe I missed it.

[chemboy7]

Anything by Boy George and the Culture Club

Fatboy Slim - Michael Jackson

Kraftwerk - The Autobahn

George Michael - Sex (not so much because of the song, but because it makes me think about him getting busted giving favors in public restrooms)

Soundgarden - Kickstand

Lords of Acid - Pussy

Polka Music

Circus Music

Church Organ Music

The Orb - Land of Green Ginger

VAST - Pretty When You Cry

The Jams - Turning Japanese

Skinny Puppy - Church

Tool - Prison Sex

Squirel Nut Zippers - Hell

[skeletontea]

SEX DWARF!!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOGLcOkI1Ss) If you haven't heard this song, you MUST listen... and imagine sweet sweet lovin' going on with that shit in the background...???

You beat me to it (honestly one of my favorite songs.) The album version is bizarre.

Raffi - Bananaphone
Devo - Midget, Peek-A-Boo!, and Head Like a Hole (NIN cover)
Throbbing Gristle - Subhuman
? - Lord, I Lift Your Name on High.
? - Wheels on the Bus (go round and round)
Bauhaus - Third Uncle (Eno cover)
Cat Rapes Dog - Trojan Whores
G.G. Allin - Gimme Some Head
Gene Autry - Up on the House Top
mc chris - F*****' Up My Christmas
Tom Waits - Earth Died Screaming
And, perhaps one of those kidzbop cd's (that would be absolutely horrible.)

Edit: Proof of Utah - Mrs. Delicious, Amber Mitchell (This was a band that made Frank Zappa sound normal by comparison.)

[HistoryofMadness]

Chem- that is one freaky song! Does he keep saying "luring disco dollies to a life of LICE"???? That's gross if he is!

"to a life of VICE"

You beat me to it (honestly one of my favorite songs.) The album version is bizarre.

agreed, weird and cool.

[vaxn8]

Thanks H- that makes a lot more sense and isnt' quite as gross!

[orangejuice]

You beat me to it (honestly one of my favorite songs.) The album version is bizarre.

Raffi - Bananaphone
Devo - Midget, Peek-A-Boo!, and Head Like a Hole (NIN cover)
Throbbing Gristle - Subhuman
? - Lord, I Lift Your Name on High.
? - Wheels on the Bus (go round and round)
Bauhaus - Third Uncle (Eno cover)
Cat Rapes Dog - Trojan Whores
G.G. Allin - Gimme Some Head
Gene Autry - Up on the House Top
mc chris - F*****' Up My Christmas
Tom Waits - Earth Died Screaming
And, perhaps one of those kidzbop cd's (that would be absolutely horrible.)

Edit: Proof of Utah - Mrs. Delicious, Amber Mitchell (This was a band that made Frank Zappa sound normal by comparison.)


LOL this is insane. your number 4 skel, you aint right man lol.

[WarmCyanide]

GG Allin - "expose yourself to kids" (hey, I didn't write the title)

oh and even better.

GG Allin - "suck my ass, it smells" <----- may be one of the all time top ten.

[Curio]

The HOKEY POKEY....
cause I mean, really....?
what if......the hokey pokey really IS what it's ALL about??!!!

[Curio]

GG Allin - "expose yourself to kids" (hey, I didn't write the title)
oh and even better.
GG Allin - "suck my ass, it smells" <----- may be one of the all time top ten.
sounds a little like "baby got back" or something even more rank!!
Here's a good note to end this thread on if people are ready to chill:

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y256/JaeBond007/9353d974.gif

[halfalien_s4]

"A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis feat. Junkie XL