No chains around my feet but I'm not free!!!

[chucky]

Whether it be total abstinence you seek or just a break, preperation is key.Having not perpared myself on the first five to ten tries I have learned that preperation is a must.You will need:Water,lots of, multi vitamins,hot tea decaffinated(A Detox tea will help),Food Yogurt,fruit,soup, no greasy or sugary foods they won't help,plenty of toilet paper(for the nose and ass),bed,tv may help,and some will power,plus a good friend that either's gone through it or understands. let'ssay youare ready, and YOU have decided to give up this life sucking powder( That is how i perceive it everytime i have quit),and you are prepared there is the next ?Should i ween myself off on some methadone or some other opiate. That is a personnal choice, if you have tried that and failed, try it cold turkey. I have experimented with both and was never succesfull at the weening off.It has worked for a number of my associates,and friends all of but one of them still chip to this day, but then again so do I.After having decided that, cold turkey being the only choice to a complete detox, I will carry on from that point.if you have chosen to ween, YOU must know that you eventually will have to detox something, there is no miracle cure.The time has come for you to do one thing and one thing only.....NOT COP ANY DOPE!!!!!!Thats all you have to do for the first week, concentrate on that and nothing elsew but that and nurturing your self back to health............To be continued:cool:

[chucky]

Eventually that pain in the body will slowly fade away, and you will shit normal once again.The sweating always lasted for a couple of weeks to a month with me, but you learn to deal with that.Yes, it is about this time that it feels good to get in the shower or tub again,proir to that it usaully feels like shit to have anything touch you.Yet this is where the biggest fight begins. WHen the boredom and depression set in , This will set in for most if not all of heavy users, for chippers and addiwts with low intake habits not so bad but neither is the pain.In this stage I felt everything from sorrow to hate from want to complete discuss with any drug.You will feel alienated for these first six to eight weeks of abstinence.You must , you are readjjusting to a new world , one that you probably aren't accustomed to. Some find it eaiser then others too slip back into the swing of things some have major trrouble usaually causing a relapse. this happen's anyone who tells me they quit for good on thre first try or two i am dubius of.The days will turn into weeks and it is good to get a hobby, for doing drugs is just another hobby one i partake in from time to time. But for current use it is better to stay away from drugs, try hiking , writing ,sports anything to keep your brain and mind active. Try not to spend to much time in the brain, it can be scary in thre at first and you may get mugged.Mugged beiing talked into scoring...........till next time.:)

[chucky]

The last thing I'll say about the subjest of starting a new life and getting of the gear is this.........It has been around(OPIATES)for hundreds of years and will be around for hundreds more, so if you go clean for awhile you will always have a choice to go on back to the other side. OH and never quit because somebody else wants you to, THIS HAS GOT TO BE A DECISION YOU MAKE FOR YOUSELF OR IT WILL NEVER WORK!!!!!!!!:cool:

[Peripat]

Chucky, have you been set up with a junkylife blog yet? This are all very valid observations, but contacting bi11i about getting a junkylife.com blog and then writing this stuff over there would probably be a better idea than just posting it here. :)

[shoxy]

great info, im on failed attempt 3 AGAINST MY WILL....which is good news for me...and it was HELL , i could write a fuckiNG book about the hell its been these 2 days but im sure we all know what its like....but your info was helpful...i didnt get to prep for this detox...so reading about your methods, really made me feel better about the next time, and theres always a next time

[Va_va]

Just to add to chuckys first post - you may want to avoid multi vitamins as they would do more harm than good. The reason being vitamin C and many others will stimulate your bowels, The same will go for fruit as they contain extremley potent fibers (if your non opiate induced constipated try having four kiwis) And as you say you are chained to the loo allot during the start fibers may not be a good thing - you should look at loperamide to soften the blow.


If you cannot obtain Naltrexone to induce the release of opiates from the body near the end of a detox maybe you should look at more natural ways including sweating - YES YOU HEARD ME SWEATING. Many people know that mainly water comes out via sweating but also vitamin c and lactic acid. And if you have taken any substances they too will be released from sweating ( opiates inc. ) Try putting four or five layres of clothing on and sitting in a room with heater full up and drinking a hot drink ( green tea ).


For pain i would reccomend Voltarol the NSAID and please dont knock it untill you have tried it. But this may be more suited to those withdrawing off milder opiates along the lines of codeine and DHC. As you will need food in your tum as it can be hard on it. And vomiting is a major thing with withdrawel. Voltarol is unbelievable stuff and your docter will write out a presciption no problem if he realizes you are detoxing. Remember only realy suitable for mild opiate WD.


I see no mention of lofexidine - anouther good thing for detox. I could not use it as i have problems with my blood pressure being too low on it - because i take propranolol for my heart problem and to make sure my bp stays down to prevent damage to my liver.


Hope some of this helps - only fools and horses is great for boredom btw

Just stopping wanting and just being goes along way in a detox (but not that far as you can tell by me)

[chucky]

Have you truly tried putting on five layers of clothes, while drinking hot tea and the heater full blast? I personnally wouldn't have the fucking energy to one, get all those clothes out, two,get off my bed or couch.I need everthing at my fingretips,water, remote controll,tissues,ect.
No vitamins or fruit because they stimulate the bowels causing the runs.Every doctor that I have talked to, or any junky that has ever fully detoxed(A couple of weeks or a month doesn't count) knows the diaheria is part and parcel with a full detox, yes certain drugs can help ease the symptons, but trust me you will have to deal with them sometime.
All these meds. you mention need a doctor, and or prescribtion.Majority of people wanting to detox don't have the fucking money or insurance to go prancing around looking for doctors, and if they do eventually they have to detox off that med.,it is a vicious cycle.They usually can get food,vit,and other neccesitities that are helpfull in a detox.

Va va, , I'm glad to read that you take care off yourself for the most part, but dude, with your liver and the condition you say it's in using opiates is not the best thing,often ,or occasionally. Your points are noted on vit.C ,but I have always found fruit and vit to help ease the cloud of withdrawl, and may not be the case for everyone.

[COLONELWAYNE]

I have to agree with chucky for the most part on this (the parts I actually know about from personal experience) The vitamins are a crucial part of detox and recovery because of the fact that your body is already stressed and deprived of nutrients from all the months (or years) of abuse. Opiates just seem to take away everything that seems essential for good health.( vitamin C included) and thats one of most crucial vitamins your body needs just for everyday survival. Addict or not we have to have it for things such as a healthy immune system and proper organ and skin function(sweating included.) As far as the diahrrea goes, It can actually help speed up the detox process along with sweating due to the volume of water that passes through the body during this phase. I realize stomach cramps and a raw asshole are symptoms most of us can live without but the fact remains that water elimination is what moves the toxins out of our bodies, whether it be from sweating, vomiting, or diahrrea.We just have to monitor the latter of the two very closely so as to not de-hydrate. As far as the vomiting, I'd just as soon do without it all together. (although that was never a common side effect with my withdrawls as it is with some.) But just as tolerences and euphoria vary with each individual, so do the symptoms of withdrawl. Still in all,the key to a healthy and successful detox is, eating right, drinking plenty of fluids(non-alchoholic for awhile due to the risk of dehydration), maintaining your level of nutrients and STAYING BUSY! Peace out all and good luck! C.W.

[Va_va]

Sweating is one of the best ways to get back to 'the full of life confident you' as Anthony kiedis writes in his autobiography after hed been to rehab from shooting heroin and cocaine - 'after constant sweating i was feeling like a million bucks again'.

Secondly taking a supplement and thinking its doing any good for you is rubbish and has been proved so in many clinical studies. For a start the vitamin c you will be getting from a 'multivitamin lol' is not actually vitamin c but ascorbic acid which needs calcium to be able to work - no calcium no vitamin c. You can get real vitamin c fromfruits which requires no activator. You can get vitamin D from 15 minutes of sun on the arms and face. B vits from bananas aswell as magnesium. Calcium from brocoli or a cereal like cheerios. You do not want to be giving yourself a chalky tablet each day when you can eat the real deal and have good food.

Thirdly, most drug abusers/users livers are on overdrive anyway. And lets just say it becomes overburdened the skin will then take over and do the job of the liver (aswell as the eyes). If youve ever wondered why people with bad livers get yellow skin and eyes its because the liver stores bile when it becomes fucked with so many substances the skin takes over and gets that yellow couler as well as many other toxins the liver would be removing - basically the skin cleans the blood. Thus explaining the yelow couler ( the bile from your liver ).

Pooping is a great way to clean the liver if youve ever heard of liver enchlapathy (spelling ? ) they use laxatives to not only help clean the body and aid the liver to recovery but also to stop somthing to do with protein to again help the liver.
So maybe shitting your ass off with all that runny shit could be theraputic but i doubt it will be mentally shivering, numb sitting on a loo and your ass gets sore so you cant even wipe it without extreme pain. So i was just advising to avoid the 'supplements' and fruit for maybe the first week and just get what you need from foods and a small amount of fruit as you arent going to catch scurvy or any other vitamin deficient disease with a week of not as much as you should be.

Its up to you lol i dont care ive done my detox now just trying to help

Adios amigos

[COLONELWAYNE]

I'll stick with my vitamin supplements along with a healthy diet seeing as to how it couldn't possibly do any more harm than what I've already put into my body! Peace out

[shoxy]

i thought i was going insane until i read about how sun affects the body and how we need vitamin c during/after immediate detox...ive been standing outside every morning, and i usually avoid the sun, and i drink tons of water...its hard to eat anything just yet, but i think ill get there...sweating is HELL, and ive been in this bath robe constantly, i could never "layer up" and make myself sweat more than i already am...water hurts my skin right now as well, one min. its too cold and the next im sweating and sometimes im having cold sweats...its a truely horrible thing.i need all the support i can get, and non judgemental support at that...im not in denial about the fact that this is EXTREEMLY TEMPORARY....my emotions have been going haywire as well, im always in tears since ive detoxed, (the initial 3 days) i chipped a bit i think on the 4th day, but it didnt do anything,so here i am, sweating and bored to death again, another day....long and tedious trying to fill the time by watching movies and trying to get my house back in order, (as its gone down hill the last month or so) but i still cant fathom touching dirty dishes, my hands have been really sensitive to water, as the rest of my body has also been. my nose is running constantly, as is my eyes, but i keep telling myself its just my body getting rid of the poison....im sorry for the rant, but you guys can relate...i need someone to talk to about this shit thats happening to me...thanks

[Va_va]

Take a walk man, make love to ure misses. Get ure ass together so u can maybe get some work - we all have shit times mate. You have to deal with it like a man or if you fear you may harm yourself seek some professional help or call an ambulance.

Take it easy ?! - Adios amigo

What did you expect from opiate withdrawel ? Go sell something or get money by some other means and get yourself something. As seen as your panicing this much you arent ready to come of yet or at least not prepared so remember were theres a will theres a way.

[COLONELWAYNE]

Hey shoxy,colonel here.I know it's not much consolation to keep hearing "I know what you're going through"but you hit on some key points that I felt in my detox that I don't hear alot of the others mention and that is the emotional rollercoaster.I felt like shit all the time but those times you just bust out crying for no reason are really hell on you! You feel like it's the end of the road for you and sometimes wish you could just fall asleep and not wake up.Though I think va va could have been a little more sensitive towards you in his response, he did hit on something I agree with in a sense and that is, if it gets so rough your contemplating suicide or something( which I very much hope you aren't) no-one says you have to quite cold turkey or do it alone.If a chip here and there will keep you from going over the edge then DO IT! It's not like we all here haven't fudged a time or two. Getting clean as well as staying clean is something you have to have mind control over and WANT to do.This may not be the best time for you to try and quite cold turkey but the fact that you're trying is reason enough to keep on trying. There's no scientific fool proof right or wrong method for getting off this stuff. Everyone is different and everyone reacts differently to the chemical imbalances detoxing causes.Just hang in there, drink alot of fluids,try to eat right and on schedule, take vitamins and flax seed oil ( omega 3 fatty acids,brain food) if need be take some ny-quil or something for the runny nose, aches and pains as well as sleeplessness and immodium for diahrrea.Some say the loperamide in the immodium which actually is in the opiate family has been known to alleviate some of the symptoms of withdrawl.Anyway, just hang in there and if you need an ear to bend, I'll be watching. P.M.me if you want! Peace Out! C.W.

[shoxy]

thanks colonel! and im a girl by the way and making love isnt appealing when you're sweating and sick, hes going thru it as well...we have each other and we're trying to help each other through this, we joke around and say you know youve found the right one when you can detox together without killing each other..haha im getting through it, i know the physical worst is over, but ive already started making plans to go out and try to have some fun, it seems like when youre using and lost in that haze that you just lose tough with everything and everyone except those in the hole with you....now dont get me wrong, im definately NOT one of those NA people, im not ready to quit and im not in denial about my situation...we've pretty pawned everything we can to get through this recent bout, but itll be ok, we're always ok....nyquil and loperamide would be nice, ill try to swindle some....i stepped outside and felt like i had 2 heads...

[Va_va]

Sorry if i did come across as being harsh, just we all know opiate addiction inst plain sailing. Ive done my detox and got through the physical part but i got loaded on friday night ( my twelth day off ) and the depression yesterday was bad and today all i want to do is get high. I can pull myself through without using but im not enjoying any minute of it. If i had something to fill my time with like a job or some mates then id be a bit better. Rocking out isnt the same being clean i dont have the same intent.

So i guess one big pointer here is once clean make sure you have other things to keep you busy - maybe these things wont be able to compare with a high but as long as you can achieve some pleasure out of it and it keeps the clock ticking by then youl be able to keep your mind of it (obviously not things you do high).

Oh well, time to get on lol - happy days - Vava

[shoxy]

i agree va va....so to say the least the main thing when getting clean is to have things to occupy your time after the physical shit wears off.....

[chucky]

I would have to say that keeping yourself occupied is a definite part of recovery. Walking,reading,writing,playing sports,getting a job, going to work, are just a few of the things that have helped me, but everybody is different and one man's drink is another man's poison.Most addicts/users that I have known or still know, are physically out of shape,there are exceptions,but they are few. I personally was skinny as hell and could barely walk across the street five months ago when I did my umpteenth detox, but I made it through those difficult times and have gained my weight back , and take a walk around haight or the castro districts of S.F daily.
As for N.A. I am not a narcotics anyomous buff and since the third month of my detox/clean up I haven't gone, but I can assure you my friends that N.A can be a very helpfull thing most of the time they are just junkies trying to help other junkies .Even if you don't agree with what they have to say , anyone trying to quit for more then a week or two should atleast here what they have to say,and every meeting I've ever been to they have just tryed to help and that was that.
Shoxy, I'm slightly confused with some of your posts, you say you are detoxing(which is fuckin great as far as I'm concerned), but then in a later post and I qoute"im definately NOT one of those NA people, im not ready to quit and im not in denial about my situation",if you aren't ready to quit then why the detox?Maybe I'm just not reading it right ,but either way if you ever need support,advice ,or help just holla.
Va va , it seems to me that you have been clean for a couple of weeks now(congratulations)and this is a great feet, and it also sounds like you are going through the depression/boredom time of cleaning up, and are ready to use.Be strong take some of your own advice and go for a walk or as you put it"make love to ure missus".
Rehabilatation is a long,hard,and mundane, but the rewards of no longer having to deal with using heroin are unlimited, for me personally, the biggest reward is waking up every morning and knowing that I don't have to have some substanince in me to just get through the day. Now I have nothing in my system and not only do I get through the day but I enjoy and look forward to it.
Till next time,
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"H.S.T :cool:

[shoxy]

ok well, the detox ill say was against my will, and i weened down considerably...partly from being broke, partly from no supply, partly because i was wearing myself out at that level.....im a chipper and i feel much better. im not dissing the NA people by any means, i know NA has helped millions of junkies, its jujst not my thing, but im not saying that one day , it might be my only savior....im not in denial about this past week, in fact, im back to myself again and im happy chipping when i need to...so some would say its more like a weening session, i guess....but i went through withdrawals, physical hell...etc. i adjusted my dosage i guess...i need support and friends to talk to here and thats why i keep coming back....

[da982]

I've been trying to rehab, for about 2 1/2 months. I went to a 5 day detox and started using the second I hit the door, I went against my will. I've been weening down and I don't have to use everyday, but I want to. I think about it everyday. I think the mental is worse than the physical! I feel crazy most of the time- As a matter of fact- I can only tell a user or ex-user about this dream I had last night and they will understand- I found a wallet and i looked inside to find, what appeared to be old, half eaten 80mg oc's! I was like HURRAY! (I have taken an oc that was a little chew off that I found in a stove 7 months after it was lost) but after closer examination, it was pistacio nuts!!! what's wrong with me? I need an 80!

[Va_va]

Some times when i dream and have opiates in them you can actually feel a sedated effect in your dream, maybe thats just me.

Shoxy my plan is the same as yours althou every day im not using i want too, nothing is the same when im not high - life is just richer on them. Hoovering the house is a chore but when im high i love doing it. I seem to feel some withdrawel after chipping possibly as i wasnt off long enough to start with (around twelve days).

Im high right now and have anouther dose planned for tonite , i was high yesterday too. Im planning a weeks rest in bed tomorow to get back to myself. If i try to continue with 'life' tomorow and i get a little cold or achey i just want to use so bed is the best place to be and as chucky says pamper yourself.

Im definatley going to continue chipping, i want to have that escape and that true 'jump up and shout' feeling running through my body every now and then as i cannot get that being clean. Your not happy when your clean yet your not sad (after the initial depression has gone) well maybe more to the sad side. Chipping is going to be my way of life for now.Thats not to say you cant be happy when your clean i just havent found it yet.

Happy days evrybody - love and peace, Vava

[chucky]

Using dreams are regular, especially in the first month of rehabilitation. They can be extremely vivid, I , even after five months clean I have them , and at times I wake drenched in sweat and looking for that needle mark on my arm.It feels like I just shot up, even have a lite euphoria sometimes.

As far as chipping goes.........I can't say it doesn't work , but for the majority of addicts, and I mean the vast majority, this is not a good idea if you don't want to be a full time user. Thinking back on it I only know two people that were habitually addicted to opiates that eventually got the grip on chipping, but I can assure you that they took alot more time off then twelve days, try three months , then start chipping . Your head will be more under control and you won't get such a sick feeling when you are out, you'll just feel slightly tired and bored, at least that's what I'm told. Chipping was never good to me I always ended up with the needle in my arm every day, within weeks of me trying the chipping route.:cool:

[shoxy]

i think when youre forced to detox against your will, the chances of you getting clean and staying clean for very long are slim to NONE....i feel much better now, with my chipping regiment...i cant hack it going cold turkey...funny though, how your chip gets bigger and bigger everyday however....its no suprise to me though, ive been down this road many times....good luck everyone...

[candy]

Detox, getting clean, rehab, has to be the hardest thing for someone addicted to opiates. I used cocaine for many years during the time I was using opiates casually and smoked weed for many years as well. Coming off of coke and weed was nothing compared to what I have felt when I have detoxed off of heroin. My very first detox was done at home with a few other clean junkies. I remember them all telling me to remember the pain I was feeling. I would not want to go back to using after this detox. Well, needless to say, several attempts under my belt...After my first baby, I swore never again......Guess what? I have 2 kids now. It is just the way we perceive pain. If every woman really remembered the pain of childbirth, we would be all be only children. Same with our addiction to opiates and detox. With childbirth comes the reward of this brand new baby. With heroin addiction, well...it has some sort of reward. Most of us are searching for something to change our perception and opiates work well for that. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about heroin. I remember my first time and the last and although I have lost quite a bit in my life and fought the battle with Hep C, I still have that love affair with Heroin.What was it that Burroughs said..."If God made anything better he kept it for himself!" I think that is how it goes. I agree.I am trying to find something in my life that can take the place of Heroin. Right now it a new relationship and maybe I can get the same kick from sex that I did with my heroin use. For myself, my addiction was really a lonely existence. I did not tolerate being around too many people while getting high, something I preferred to do alone or with someone quite experienced as I was. I just cannot do it once in a while or go a few days without. It is either all or none for me. I was hooked from the very first time and although I was able to control it for a while, it did not take long before I was using daily. Heroin addiction is a whole different world and I tell ya, I find it hard to relate to most human beings. While most of those I know are junkies, many clean, I am forever changed. It is a lifestyle, it takes time, and it is hard to turn back. I agree with staying busy and the emotions do run their course. It has to be a choice your ready to make, whether your getting clean or just getting into a habit. It is a lifelong choice. Good luck,

[casperfromkidz]

Da, Damn were we in that dream together girl? cause I dream about finding ocs all the time, and end up bustin 'em in the craziest places, like for instance the hood of a pigs car while he was in the doughnut shop(damn I wish I had the balls to do that in real life!) but the most fucked up part for me is when I wake up, #1 I'm not high, #2 that pisses me off really bad, #3 worst of all I jones for a good hour after I wake up! And just out of couriosity how does a oc last IN a stove for 7mo? Was it broken or were you just so high you didnt need a stove, or any food for that matter?

[da982]

funny you asked- well, it wasn't my stove! It was my sisters boyfriends and he was moving, so here was my chance to find out if the story about the oc that fell in the stove was true-I took my drill over there , while he was not there of course, and it was stuck in the yellow insulation, a little chewed off, like from a mouse. I normally, don't eat something after a mouse! but this was oc and it was free! Only something an addict would say or understand. I swear that there's one in the door of my friends car. She better hope i don't come over with the drill! and that one was mine! I had just bought it and in my eagerness I had to clean them off in the car! I wonder how much oc is actually lost and unaccounted for? nothing like a sucessful treasure hunt!

[casperfromkidz]

I got pulled over one time with 20 20s on me so I jamed them in one of my vents, I damn near had to take the whole front end of the car apart to find ALL of them, cause you know I wasnt going to leave any behind. But atleast I was high as a motherfucker putting my car back together

[chucky]

Most of us have had experience with trying to get clean,or doing so.Alot of us have failed many times and tryed multiple ways at doing so. I feel it is different for everyone, some go the NA way with much succes,others do it alone or with friends around to help, and unfortunatly most stay on something wether it be bup,methadone, or something else. This is not a bad thing, for one you stop having to have money all the time to not get sick, and if you are truly trying to get off heroin this can be a starting place, but alas most go back to using within months of getting on the program, bup seems to work a little better but I have know stats to back my bullshit up.Either way getting clean is a uplifting experience for most and if succesefull, it can be enpowering, to the point you feel like you do anthting if you set your mind to do so, or atleast that is how I feel. That is not always true ,but can help in life. I was so confident in my will power that I have tryed to quit smoking,with no such luck. I don't let this get me down as I know with percerveirence I could and maybe will. I quess my whole point here is that if try hard and long enough you will reach you r goal of getting off the junk,if that's what you wwant that is.
Good luck to all out there trying to quit and for those that are not , well, have a good nod for me..........:cool: