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View Full Version : Just saw drug movie....

Babydollangel
09-09-2006, 11:12 AM
fav time for doc ...morning dose...just puts me in the mood to talk a little so wanted to post something :D

Ok, I know its an old movie, but after seeing a thread not too long ago I did a search and found the top ten somewhere online and was flipping through my hbo channels and came across 'the Basketball Diaries'...well it was like in the middle of that top list i had so I started watching it...i know i should have already seen most of these movies but I havent really been into watching alot of movies and or tv for a few years now...would rather be doing other things and just really like reality tv if i can find time to sit down to watch tv for long enough...also on at the same time was 'Trainspotting, but cuz everyone was talking with an accent i decided upon basketball diaries' ...anyways......
I started watching this and couldnt stop...it totally terrifyed the holy shit out of me what this boy was going through...wd wise....I would call my doc lower on the drug ladder rung and hopefully the wds that come along with running out of it...to ME they are very uncomfortable and downright scary at times but after seeing this movie and what kind of wd he was having I am thankful for my lower end wd's to go along with lower end doc...ha !
Im just saying im sorta a baby i guess and cant take the torture and pain for too long (48 hours TOPS !) my doc problem is now causing some family problems so I have until oct. to be 'almost off' of doc completely..hmmm i wonder how that is going to work out....i kinda think i know the answer to that but there is always hope i guess.
Seeing that movie the other night just made me stop and think about alot of things...I want to try 'bigger and better' and have been ready so many times but for the lack of where to go get it being the only thing in my way ...im thankful right now i havent done more...esp since I have been given the ruling that 'oct. is the END..' lol....ok, well see. !
ok end of post...just my thought of the morning...I hope everyone here in opioland has a great weekend...doc is very sparse right now so wd is looking me in the eyes soon and Im even having nightmares about it...whats worse....actual wd or the damn FEAR of it...for me, i think im sooo afraid of it for some reason, but always try to tell myself, its just a mere reminder that I am human. Cant live every second of every day numbed out i guess, unfortunately.
Happy weekend to all :) and thanks for reading my rambling this AM...
BDA
antony
09-09-2006, 11:15 AM
"It's a Wonderful Life" made me swear off all drugs, but it didn't work, I was drunk as shit.

and I'm hung over like a bitch this morning, wish I had some morning doses right now:mad:
Babydollangel
09-09-2006, 11:30 AM
"It's a Wonderful Life" made me swear off all drugs, but it didn't work, I was drunk as shit.

and I'm hung over like a bitch this morning, wish I had some morning doses right now:mad:

Its a wonderful life doesnt sound like a wonderful life...lol..im adding it to my list now. UGH...i will hate it if i have to resort back to a drink for some relaxation....i so hate the morning after drinking..damn its been so long and i dont miss it..love love love morning dose so dread not having it around :(
antony
09-09-2006, 11:36 AM
I had fun last night though. Nearly landed my waitress. Cute little russian girl.


The russian girls loooovvvveee antony.
WarmCyanide
09-09-2006, 12:09 PM
you didnt speak in third person to them did you?:p
antony
09-09-2006, 12:30 PM
you didnt speak in third person to them did you?:p

Actually he did butthead. He did at length, and he was witty, clever, and he made quips only antony and her understood. Maybe not her, but he would laugh, and laugh. He was striking as normal, and looked dashing, with vodka after vodka going through his pouty lips.
nick
09-09-2006, 12:44 PM
I hate to say it Antony,but maybe she didn't understand a word you said.Maybe she was over come by your wardrobe;gold chains,italian polyester shirts et al.
antony
09-09-2006, 12:55 PM
Maybe she was over come


That happens quite often.
nick
09-09-2006, 01:00 PM
Oh Antony the old ones are the best huh!I wish you nothing but happiness with all the Russian women you can find.
antony
09-09-2006, 01:06 PM
yea, come to chicago, I'll teach you how to impress the ex-KGB fathers of theirs. Thats the hardest part.
nick
09-09-2006, 01:07 PM
Baby doll,sounds like your DR is getting uppity.Could be time to find a new one.If you start buying street junk bad things can happen.If it makes you feel any better,Wd dreams are quite common and are a hell of a lot better than the real thing
Babydollangel
09-09-2006, 01:54 PM
Baby doll,sounds like your DR is getting uppity.Could be time to find a new one.If you start buying street junk bad things can happen.If it makes you feel any better,Wd dreams are quite common and are a hell of a lot better than the real thing


Doesnt have anything to do with my dr :p .. significant other more like ! lol....time to find a new one as you say...j/k LMAO...
nick
09-09-2006, 02:30 PM
Sorry Babydoll,my mistake.I'm having problems concentrating due to going through the Turkey from hell.I guess it's easier to change DRs than significant others.My significant other is an ex addict who knows every trick in the book and she has finally put her foot down,with the it's me or the dope rap..
BigWaves
09-09-2006, 09:41 PM
I look at it like this...it's been ___ hours since I last dosed...that means i'm ___ hours into my "recovery"...and I'll try like a motherfucker to go with it until I need to use another substance to "stay right".

sounds painfully familiar I know



The hard part is not stopping;

The hard part's NOT picking up again"
BigWaves
09-09-2006, 09:44 PM
PS I can't believe nobody mentioned "Drugstore Cowboy" Matt Dillon, Kelly Lynch, Heather Graham, Wm. S. Burroughs (!)

I blame it specifically for the waning availability of Dilaudid

lol:p
WarmCyanide
09-10-2006, 01:38 PM
i think that was in another "drug movie" thread but yeah not this one.
Babydollangel
09-10-2006, 02:20 PM
PS I can't believe nobody mentioned "Drugstore Cowboy" Matt Dillon, Kelly Lynch, Heather Graham, Wm. S. Burroughs (!)

I blame it specifically for the waning availability of Dilaudid

lol:p

Drugstore cowboy is on my to see list :D asap.
Babydollangel
09-10-2006, 02:23 PM
Sorry Babydoll,my mistake.I'm having problems concentrating due to going through the Turkey from hell.I guess it's easier to change DRs than significant others.My significant other is an ex addict who knows every trick in the book and she has finally put her foot down,with the it's me or the dope rap..

Yeah well, umm im mad as hell right now cuz i have like a certain number left of d.o.c. and got mad and took the amount alotted for today (have only a few for entire week!) and now i cant have anymore and its a very significant decrease from what im used to even at that! Wont be long before im hating everyone around me know its for my own good but dammit i hate knowing it around the corner!! I HATE feeling 'unnumb'....ugh:rolleyes: real life sux...lol
nick
09-10-2006, 03:36 PM
I hear you babydoll,I'm well ahead of schedule too.I've got 180 ml's of oramorph and I should have 260 ml's.Still what doesn't kill us will make us strong.Or so they say,I'm not too sure myself.Good luck.
BigWaves
09-10-2006, 04:39 PM
I hear ya guys, I'm in the same boat...always running low the last week before I see my pain mgmt doc (i see him monthly) and I HATE skrimping down my doses. I was on about 160mg methadone until I couldn't stand the side effects anymore and got switched to MSContin 100's, six a day(=600mg;300mgAM 300mgPM) and Oxy 30mg for breakthru pain. 4 of those a day(120 per month)...I've gone thru my entire 120 in as little as 5 days. My tolerance is SO high :( ...man, it's like being handcuffed ain't it? Those forlorn feelings that arise when you're like, on methadone and you KNOW for a fact that NOTHING short of a fat rig full of really good heroin is going to "shoot thru" that blockade. This is risky as fuck obviously!

But if you can stand it, try and totally abstain for a day...maybe two...give your opiate receptors a break from that daily pounding they take. And your tolerance will creep back a little. THEN you can enjoy the eventual relief of that self-imposed drying out period. It's a little tough but you KNOW you can do this. It's one of the more sensible ways to indulge...it takes years for one to find their thresholds and push themselves for an eventual "greater good" or promise of something better. An elective coldturkey kick is not going to "show you what you're made of" but it'll certainly test your will. You can derive power from this with a little practice...remember a saying like "habit blunts the edge of pleasure" when you start that stinkin thinkin about having yourself a little dose of something. Put it aside-stay the clean course best you can-then eventually indulge yourself sensibly...because you probably earned it.

Good luck all, peace love respect,-djL
nick
09-10-2006, 05:19 PM
I hear you MR Bigwaves.Sadly abstention has never been my forte.You'd think in an age when we can put a man on the moon and transplant the human liver,somebody would have found a non addictive euphoric opiate.By the way many chronic pain patients in the UK swear by Diconal.If it's available in the US try it.