Hiding wd's from your fam

[SuzieMeyers]

Hey all....idk how many can relate to this but here goes....my fam and friends know about my drug use, but think I'm clean. Althoughthey have had enough of my bs, they still try to save me from myself. But it seems like whenever I'm out of money for dope or can't find it, my luck there is always a fam function to attend. All of you know how hard it is to move when we are sick and partying and celebrating is just not in the cards. Whether it is a holiday, birthday, whatever, there always seems to be something to do or somewhere to be when I feel like shit. So I have to pretend I have the flu and non-addicts just don't understand what it is like to be sick like that, shit. Anyone else experience this ofetn? Just curious if it's just my bad luck, lol.

Peace.

[SuzieMeyers]

Shit, guess it is my bad luck then.

[Soul2Squeeze]

Been hiding wd and drug use from my family since I was fuckin 14 dude. 6 Years, my close family knows I used to use, none knows I still use in my family.
Shits hard, and embarrassing as fuck none the less.

[Hoss]

Oh let me tell you, you are most definitely not alone; I cannot count the times that I have been faced with situations such as you described above whilst still hiding "habit from family" - which is a full time job in itself (those who are in it know it) - and unfortunately at times I resorted to certain unwanted tactics (namingly pawning prized possessions such as rare LP's & CD's among other things) in order to get the dough to get me through whatever situation I had in my face at the time. When it's go time, it's go time - and just like a living legend strolling around here once stated with much wisdom said : "There's no free lunch".

It's ongoing battle for an army of us, no doubt. At any moment of any day, it's going down. And as for hiding, it's all part of the game we play and the cards we lay.

You're not alone - you're home.

Hoss

[roxilady]

Well said Hoss. Its the game we all play. My family knows that I take pain meds, but they do not know just how much I take. When I am really sick I say I have stomach problems,( and if you are sick you do) that usually gets me out of any obligation that I have. Although if I know I have a get together or party I will do whatever I can do to get something to get thru it. Sometimes I get so sick of all the planning we have to do the get by. It would be so nice to not have to worry about when your going to get your next fix. If only people knew what a job it is to use. When in doubt, stash some for a rainy day- but if your anything like me, that never works!

[Opie I. T.]

Oh let me tell you, you are most definitely not alone; I cannot count the times that I have been faced with situations such as you described above whilst still hiding "habit from family" - which is a full time job in itself (those who are in it know it) - and unfortunately at times I resorted to certain unwanted tactics (namingly pawning prized possessions such as rare LP's & CD's among other things) in order to get the dough to get me through whatever situation I had in my face at the time. When it's go time, it's go time - and just like a living legend strolling around here once stated with much wisdom said : "There's no free lunch".

It's ongoing battle for an army of us, no doubt. At any moment of any day, it's going down. And as for hiding, it's all part of the game we play and the cards we lay.

You're not alone - you're home.

Hoss

nicely stated.

[SuzieMeyers]

Yeah thesaving for a rainy day thing does NOT work for me, tee hee. Oh don't get me wrong, I will say that's what I'm going to do and have good intentions on it as well, but shit, it's a good as gone once the stinkin thinkin comes back.

Some fam members, esp my ex hubby who has been thru this with me for years, they know. They may not want to admit it, but they know. I mean come on really, how many times can one get the "flu" so badly so often. You know?

[Larkin]

Shit, guess it is my bad luck then.


if you have hung around the forums u will know there is not a lot of people here. So your response wont always be as prompts as you will like. Not bitching or talking shit, just letting u know why it can take a bit. BTW, hi suzie, i am larkin.

back OT....

My family noticed more when i was extremely high as to when i was in WD. I would look for pity when i was sick maybe thinking they would go "heres some money!", this was when they didnt know i was using.

It was always a battle though. The biggest visible WD sign for me was the sweating. So people would wonder why i was sweating so much but refused to take off my long sleeved shirt.

Im surprised they never understood why i got the flu more than once a week, and why it lasted less than a day. Or when i would get "cotton fever" and i was shaking and hot then cold. and shoveling antibiotics down my gullet. I really dont know why they didnt catch on until we left bags floating in the toilet.

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

just a quick not
FUCK NO YOU A IN THE MAJORIRTY HERE!
ANYONE who is NOT a total hermit, has come to know this is all part of the game
hiddening wd's unger the guise of flu, shit drunk hangover (more exceptiabe- for the norms) illness of all time. love probelms = depresions (can't leave home without breaking down ito tears in pubilc - gerenal desperate.. ETC

Or be straight and just fess up and say I really think my vomittinga nd pant(panties) shitting will really put a damper on all your fun- leave me the fuck a lone or get me dope if you what me a your silly family doing. ) or ask for $$ and handle it yourself.

WILD GUES 85-95% OF uses on board here have all done this. (excuses)
FAMMILY= uncondition love--- that should be on them- to try and understand you and NOT try to SAVE you from yourself.

PS WELCOME SUZIE MEYER, where did your handle come from?

[starla]

the first thought that enters my mind when someone mentions a family function or anything of the sort is "oh fuck, am i gonna have pills? will i be able to get any? etcetcetc". if not and it's important i will suck it up and go. then i sit there and envy everyone else who didn't have to plan around a fucked up pill.

then people try to force food on me and just the thought makes me want to fuckin puke. "are you sick?" "are you not going to eat?" "what's wrong?". of course, i do have an effed up back, so i will usually use that excuse. my back hurts and i don't feel like eating/socializing. i also use it to get out of there asap. :p

[SHELLEY]

hepatitis C
i always said i had the hep (which technically i do) and that i wasn't feeling good
symptoms of hepC can include diarrhea, nausea, bone aches, excessive tiredness, and tremors

it worked for a while

[SuzieMeyers]

Well no one in my family will give me a damn dime. Oh they will put gas into my tank, literally, or write a check to where I need to go, but cash, haha no fucking way.

Y'know it's funny cuz my ex-hubby, who is a cop, had been with me since early high school, so 12 years. He has been thru the tinger with me and it eventually ended up in our divorce.

However I am glad to say that today he has committed himself to learning all about this disease in hopes that one day him and I can make it work. He know that if he doesn't understand this, it won't.

So two thumbs up to him! Our family need to know as much about the disease as possible and that it is NOT a reflection of how we feel about them. Or a motha fuckin moral deficiency.

[Ickyuck]

Luckily (well actually really NOT so luckily...) I am able to have mask even the most terrible of WD's from family/friends.

I have colitis. Some symptoms include diarrhea (going to the bathroom up to/more than 5 times a day), sweating/chills, really terrible abdominal cramps, fatigue. So my fam/friends know that I can feel pretty crappy at days. Thing is I'm in remission (YAY). But still... yeah.

Unfortunately I can't explain the restless legs, crawling-outta-my-skin, random limb stretching, weirdo behavior. Ah well.

[matfield]

christmas while wd'ing. just horrible.

[OxyQueen]

I been so sick on "occasions" where we were going to NYC to my daughter's dance team competittion..coming down off of about 300 mg of OC...it wasn't pretty but i had to get her ready , do her makeup~that was fun with shakey hands:rolleyes:

98% of the time i will "plan" ahead for holidays/birthdays things like that. and make sure im good and "well" ./.... er high er whatever....but functioning and smiling and having the time of my life lol

How long are the spurts that u "go without"??? Maybe u should get ur hands on some trams or even subs for those times that you can't cop but can't be sick either....it'll due in a pinch...trust me!

Well just letting u know u r NOT ALONE...i done this countless countless times
I guess i can thank suboxone for giving me a bit more stability in the past year, as i find myself not sick and not having to worry about where my next fix is coming from...

Props to you too, for Halloween....ewwwww i could picture it vividly in my mind as i read ur post...feeling ur agony ugghh!

OQ

[The_Highwayman]

I know all too well about hiding WDs from my family...I had the flu a lot..oh yeah and food poisoning..this was the day to day things ,I'm not avery social person, so family events and functions I rarely attended even when well. One time when I wanted to kick I planned it out becasue I had a wedding coming up so I tapered and kicked and gave myself enough time to be clean and well for the wedding. Well all went to plan, was even able to go out the day before and get a suit which I needed, anyway the night before I had to go to work and my friend/dealer/coworker was there and told me to open my hand and laid two bundles of dope in it...He said I can pay him when Ican and that was one of those monents that is a real crossroads, I just got done going through WDs and there was dope literally in my hand..I wish I could say that I took the higher road(well I guess you could say that) but the next day at the wedding I took a lot of trips to the bathroom

[Restharrow]

christmas while wd'ing. just horrible.
For years, it seemed like Christmas was without pills.

I am mid-50's now and usually can control myself so that I have enough to (barely) get thru every day.

Will

[HydroApe]

Yep, it always happens and it sucks.
Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?

I can never save any either.
All or nothing, no discipline.

Tramadol, Loperimide, suck it up.
That's my life.

[SuzieMeyers]

Exactly hydro. And every single time I think, why do I do this to myself. I swear it off forever and then as soon as something, anything becomes available, i'm right back at it.

[TigerFan]

Yeah I know all about this one, believe-you-me.

Ironically, opiates actually improved my family situation. Before I got started with it again we had a horrible relationship. Wouldn't talk for months, hated them, they didn't really want me around. All of that changed when opiates came back into the picture. I could just smile when they were trying to make me mad, I could resist urges to be selfish, rude, or mean. I was just so tired of hating people. Whether it was simply narcotic bliss or not, for the first time in a very long time I could feel empathy for other people again. I Spent about 2 years in the dark and finally had to tell them. It was just too hard to hide - broke ALL the time asking for money, had the flu at least twice a month, nodding out at dinner, etc.

At that time I was a lurker around here and remember hearing people on here being honest with their families about their use - but yet not harming their families and still maintaining a relationship. Sounded like a novel idea so did just that. They helped me to get on suboxone and have said many times since then that no matter what we are always a family. I can honestly say that if (or when) the habit returns I'd be honest with them.

I realize that I am an adult and have an addiction. I agree 1000% with Shelly when she says that a addict is not by definition a thief. Of course I live apart from them too. I wouldn't want to jeopardize my family's safety by my own actions of inviting chaos into their home through what addiction can bring. Some of the greatest people in my life have been drug or alcohol dependent (ADDICT is such an ugly word), and some of them I never even knew they had a problem until they ended up trying to get clean or ended up dead. To thine own self be true.

[OverDriven]

No one in my family knows I use. If I'm in withdrawal, I do everything in my power to not be around them or any other people. I don't think that they would suspect drug use, but being around anyone while in withdrawal is just pure fucking torture to me. I can think of few things that I hate more.

[dramamine]

Yeah my family started getting suspicious after every time I came to see them I would have "horrible allergies" or "the flu". Nowadays I either make sure I have stuff to get me by or I w/d before I go see em. Withdrawing around your family is pure, unadulterated hell.

[DCBA]

thats one of the reasons i have allways some methadone, bupe, pods or even codeine and tramadol for the wds.. but now im on MMT... i just wish i wasnt...
i've managed to hide wds from my family and friends for more than a year with those aids..
maybe you should have those with you for the rainy days..

[doctor diesel]

Oh Junkies, Junkies! This is so sad.
You know what to do: just SAY NOT TO THE DRUGS! Turn your backs on them.
You know it makes sense. ;) Now do the decent thing and end all this misery.


Doc :D

[Papa Verine]

I've faked illness more times than I can count. Some of the people who know me think I have an auto-immune disorder. But, most of the time I do my best to hide it from people. I push myself to act normal and do things I really don't feel like doing.

This is one of the reasons I try to keep a low tolerance. When these things come up I don't feel so horrible that I can't fake it. I'd be terrified to have the kind of habit I've had in the past. Because back then, there was no faking anything. I was fucking SICK!

[MoreNowAgain]

Oh Junkies, Junkies! This is so sad.
You know what to do: just SAY NOT TO THE DRUGS! Turn your backs on them.
You know it makes sense. ;) Now do the decent thing and end all this misery.


Doc :D


I've tried. Now the drugs just have a thing for me. They're always comin' around, sitting outside the door scratching to be let in.

[Thanat0s]

i dont like the drugs but the drugs like me?

well...

[TheBigStuff]

Im doin it right now. its not fun but my family knows im really not feelin good and wondering why. Luckily i always have a big perscription of valium and got somethin else from my doctor who had no idea. i faked some back pain

[Papa Verine]

Im doin it right now. its not fun but my family knows im really not feelin good and wondering why. Luckily i always have a big perscription of valium and got somethin else from my doctor who had no idea. i faked some back pain

So, are you "doin it right now" or did you get something from your doctor? What did you get from your doctor?

[Seedy]

christmas while wd'ing. just horrible.

dude, the first time i ever connected "the symptoms" with my opiate use was christmas day, i'd been going maybe 3 months pretty much daily on poppy seeds and it just happend that on xmas eve i got my seeds from a different place than usual (an organic grocer, i know some peeps on here know about the shit the seeds u get from those places). i'm sure it wasn't my first experience of withdrawals, but it was that day i put 2 & 2 together, and damn, what an ordeal, realising i was an addict on christmas day!

[Thanat0s]

dude, the first time i ever connected "the symptoms" with my opiate use was christmas day, i'd been going maybe 3 months pretty much daily on poppy seeds and it just happend that on xmas eve i got my seeds from a different place than usual (an organic grocer, i know some peeps on here know about the shit the seeds u get from those places). i'm sure it wasn't my first experience of withdrawals, but it was that day i put 2 & 2 together, and damn, what an ordeal, realising i was an addict on christmas day!


merry holiday indeed

[hairandwine]

Cliffs notes; Doctor dad notices my wds, I tell him it's from o.c. when it's really from H, with the hope hat he will find me a sub doctor, which he neglects to do until I am through withdrawals and have started using again, loses immense trust in me, and makes me regret telling him the truth.

I have an interesting situation in this regard. I've been through complete withdrawals from start to finish maybe 4 or 5 times in the past six months, with only about a year of opiate use.

The most recent one was while I was in Gujarat, India off of Buprenorphine (specifically subutex). The time before that was mid-July of this year. I'm still a young guy and live with my parents because I have no reason to live elsewhere for the moment as I haven't started college yet. My mother lives somewhere else and I live with my father.

He is a psychoanalist and also runs the teenage mental health building in a local hospital. Needless to say, he sees a few drug addicts, and mostly the worst-case scenarios at that. Before I got on subs, I had no defense for wihdrawals, except that sometimes I could claim high anxiety and panic and get him to give me some Lorazepam through his girlfriend (who is prescribed it) or from a doctor other than him at his suggestion.

So, come mid-July, I ran out of highschool graduation cash. It was my longest binge to date, and I have not had a larger tolerance or worse withdrawals yet. After telling my father what was probably a little too much about my symptoms, in hope of him potentially being able to get me something stronger than Ativan, he put the pieces together and asked me if I was in drug withdrawals. I told him no, but he kept pressing that it was the only thing that fit my symptoms and if tha was the case he could more adequately treat it if I could/would confirm it for him. I thought this meant instasub, but I was completely wrong.

Now, my D.O.C. is Heroin, but I confessed to having a large pharmaceutical habit. I still hope he believes that is all I do. Anyway, for the sake of shortening this long post, he only got me to a sub doctor a week and a half later, when I had already gotten back into the habit. He has lost a great deal of trust in me, accusing me of being high when I'm not, and refusing to give me money for things he previously would pay for. Oftentimes he will tell me honestly he doesn't trust me, and I regularly retort with something to the extent of, "everyday you make me regret telling you the truth about something in seeking your help".

So, I would suggest if you're considering telling your family about your hidden habits, whatever they may be, that you first think very carefully about it, as it seems they react quite differently than you may have suspected.