20 days clean, today.

[oxy kid]

I believe that today is my 20th day clean. I'm going to take MoreFeen's advice and start a new topic for my questions and comments about how this is going. Also to keep giving me some hope and to keep my head in the right place. Its amazing how when you decide to get clean you get calls about anything and everything popping up for ridiculously cheap prices. I"m sure right now, since I've had some clean time, I could get ridicuously high...but I can't do that. Gotta stay focused. Roxi3os for 10 and perk 10s for 4...where the hell did they come from! ha. Its the dang devil, thats what it is... Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, you know theres somebody or something somewhere laughing when we are hurting and wd'ing. Anyways...

Yesterday was a hard day. Woke up, took a shower, took 8mgs of lope and off to class. I was jonesing so bad in class, I know it was easy to see. The cravings the last couple days have hit me like a ton of bricks. And not the good kinda bricks...

I woke up this morning with gnarly restless legs, and have had a dull headache since mid day yesterday. Its finally starting to go away, but these legs are ridiculous. So I decided to hop out of bed, take 12mgs of lope, 2 aleve and lay back down. After 30 mins, I was still feeling ridiculously bad, so I got up and took a soma, along with my adderall to get me going for the day. Without it, I really have a lot of lack of motivation to do anything. Why do you guys think the RLS kicked in last night and I woke up with it this morning? For the last few days, I've only been dosing Lope in the morning, and not taking any at night. And I didn't take anything to help me sleep the last few nights. Been sleeping fine, just wake up feeling bad.

To make this whole arrangement worse, my roommate has been acting like a dick head and not wanting to turn on the heat because its not "cold enought yet" and "we need to save money." So I wake up in my room yesterday morning and it had to be colder than 35 in here. The thermostat was bouncing on 50 (thats the lowest she'll go) and it took a solid hour and a half to get the heat from nothing to full blast up and by the time I left my house, it was only 60 in here....ridiculous. Not quite as cold this morning, but stilll cold. Just thought I'd piss and moan a little about that.

Hopefully, today will be a better day. I've got tons of stuff to keep me busy, and work tonight for 6 hours...(4-10)...and that usually keeps my mind off everything.

As I roll through typing this topic, my legs are gradually feeling better, but still not back to what they have been. That has to be the damndest part of getting clean or wd/s....the legs.. Those bastards can change everything.

I know I'm rambling, but this addy is kicking in....But its kind of nice to be able to have something to do when I wake up, and let you guys know how I'm doing. There have been several instances that I've logged on here and read posts in my other topic that kept me from going out and getting high. Its weird....nobody will post in there for a couple days, then when I get ready to try and find something, I'll read on here and BAM, they'll be 3-5 replies telling me to keep up the good work and to stay positive and other awesome tips and advice. I can't wait for all this to be over so I can thank you guys. You really have no idea how much of asset you've been. Yeah, it sucks getting on and reading about you lucky bastards with an unlimited supply of H around the corner, but I'm headed in the right direction. This is where I need to be in my life. I have to straighten myself out before I can make strives to improve the rest of my life. These things have owned me from the young age of 17 to the still young age of 23....but no longer will I sit here and drag around the weight. I just can't do it and I can't afford it.

I know this topic has gotten kind of long and drawn out, but I just had to talk to somebody, and you guys are the first people I come to. You understand, and my gratitude is unbelieveable. I wish I could help each and every one of you who have helped me through these last 20 days of hell. Hopefully the hell will continue to slowly subside, and I can start helping and coaching other people through getting clean. It can be done, and I want to be one of the few who can say they conquered it.

Thank you my friends, have a good day. And please, feel free to give me and single piece of advice that you feel necessary. This is what is keeping me going. I need you guys and gals. Without you, I'd be downstairs in the bathroom railing something off the counter or with a needle in my arm. And I'd much rather be 20 days clean.

Much love.

[oxy kid]

Anybody like O.A.R. at all? (Don't judge me for one band, I listen to it all....)

Well I thought this part of the Crazy game of poker lyrics were kind of suitable for me right now.

aww what a lovely night we have on our hands,
what a beautiful evening we have on our hands,
well this reminds me,
of this day long ago,
when this man left it all behind,
in search of a future, in search of a past,
he ended up playing a game of cards with 3 wise men,
and they told him a lesson that he taught to me,
well you can lose all ur money, you can lose all ur gold,
you can never lose ur heart, you can never lose your soul,
Thats why I'm not gonna quit and I'm never gonna stop
i could not give a shit because I have the drop


Even though he's not quitting the game, he makes the statement "I'm not gonna quit, I'm never gonna stop." You could translate that another direction and say I'm not going to stop being clean. I'm gonna stick with it. And I can get to that lovely evening and look back on the road of hell I took. One day...I'm 20 days closer than I was 20 days ago...so at least thats a positive note.

[southernbelle]

Congratulations on the 20 days clean, oxykid! I hear you about the heat. We have some friends that absolutely refuse to turn on the a.c. in the summer. They keep it on 78 and it's hot as hell in the house, not to mention how stuffy it is. And these people are wealthy!!

[oxy kid]

I wish my dang legs would feel better....those somas are so short acting....I think i can already feel it wearing off after an hour....and I'm not going to take those things all day, as I only have a limited supply.

SB, I hear you. I'm sitting here freezing right now. Its ridiculous. I'm about to put the heat on 90 just to try to warm this place up.

[hovadagod]

Taper that imodium. Don't take it too quickly.

[wisegal]

Congratulations! 20 days is nothing to turn your nose up at! That is seriosuly some good shit. I know we dont talk much but I am proud of your accomplishment! KEEP IT UP KID :D

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

gezz - I gots to run quick
JUST WANTED TO SAY
GREAT JOb!!

yah that RLS crap is fer shit.
try save soma for bedtime
can you get a better muscle relaxer?
Valium in low amounts
U DON'T WANT TO PICK UP BENZO HABIT HEY:)

BE BAC LATTER-THANKS FOR SHARING AND HELPING OTHERS

[oxy kid]

gezz - I gots to run quick
JUST WANTED TO SAY
GREAT JOb!!

yah that RLS crap is fer shit.
try save soma for bedtime
can you get a better muscle relaxer?
Valium in low amounts
U DON'T WANT TO PICK UP BENZO HABIT HEY:)

BE BAC LATTER-THANKS FOR SHARING AND HELPING OTHERS

I can get more somas if I need to, just not like hundreds or anything. Maybe a scripts worth when I go back to the doctor or if I give him a call. Theres probably no chance of finding any Valium or getting a script. I'll try when I go, but I don't see that happening. What would be a better muscle relaxer than Somas without getting to Valium?

I'm going to start tapering down on the lope. I've went from 2x daily to 1x daily, so that cut my dose in half. So I have a feeling I shouldn't have too much of a hard time getting away from them. Would it be a complete bad idea to just taper quick and then CT over a weekend that I don't have anything to do in the next couple of weeks? I could still maintain with clonidine, somas, few benzos, and weed if need be.

Thanks to everyone for their amazingly kind comments. I've been staying busy today, but thought I'd just check on here to see whats been going on. I wish whenever I created an account here way back when, I would have come up with a better name....haha. I actually never thought I would be posting, just figured I'd read. But as everyone knows, its actually a very friendly place, so I started posting....hence the fact I'm stuck with Oxy Kid. Ha. I'm not even a kid! I bet people look at that and think I'm 15 years old....haha.

Everybody take care. Be safe. Later.

[More Feen]

Oxy Kid,

Great job. It sucks that you're still getting RLS--could this be a separate (non-opiate w/d) issue?

I've only used flexeril & soma for muscle relaxation, and soma was by far preferable (flexeril has some cholinergic effects--it seems to me--very dirty, mentally-clouding).

Stick with soma, at bedtime--good advice from GnD! Maybe half a tab (if needed) afternoon/evening.

You're doing good and you have the right attitude (makes a world of difference). One thing I don't have to face is much temptation--as you do. I don't know if I could hold up under any extra influence, you can, that shows you have strength--good!

I'm a pharm-user, only tried H during a 5 day period--never anything like black tar though. Last night I had the most vivid dream of scoring 3 large rocks of black tar (even got away without paying the guy--dreams, huh?). I can recall so clearly, so realistically dropping those marble-sized chunks into my backpack and RUNNING/Jogging home. Then I woke-up before I could fix.

I was a little disappointed, but happy that I hadn't actually done anything wrong.

Like a wet dream involving one's cousin :)

Hang in there Oxy, seriously, unless the lope is really helping you, you might want to see how things go without it. Everyone is different, but I found things were better when used only to give the raw ass a day's break!

M F

[OpiateQueen]

well done dude. I'm sure heaps of people wish they had pickd a diff name!! But yours is fine - and you are really young - 23 years old is a baby! i reckon its weird u gettin RLS if u can sleep fine... theyre the things i hate most about wds..
Who are u living with? just a friend? they dont use obviously? What kind of job have u got? i really need to get one... ive been saying that for a few wks now...
Anyway - u should be really proud of yourself - its certainly no easy task. Just keep thinking a day at a time...

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

well done dude. I'm sure heaps of people wish they had pickd a diff name!! But yours is fine - and you are really young - 23 years old is a baby! i reckon its weird u gettin RLS if u can sleep fine... theyre the things i hate most about wds..
Who are u living with? just a friend? they dont use obviously? What kind of job have u got? i really need to get one... ive been saying that for a few wks now...
Anyway - u should be really proud of yourself - its certainly no easy task. Just keep thinking a day at a time...

sorry Oxy - quick highjack and the back to you -keep OXY's thread going

OpiateQueen- Hey I did give you sugest about job , Get that leafblower dude job, seriously Could offer to do MORE work in LESS time, and fuck you worling where you live.
Or so similiar type at close by Apartments- Yes you got to work, $$ ,plus a good mental improveemnt in quality of life.
WHAT WERE PREVIOUS JOBS- I KNOW veterian like aid AND i think kidn of exotix dancing?
I mean you could dance a few nights, or would that lead to craving and more drug abuse?

so Oxy yeah general answer to queens questions -Job (type in general) and roomate???
and can you think or job sugesttion for Opiate queen..




AND AH FUCK - A SCREEN NAME BY ANOTHER STILL SMELLS THE SAME*
*Shakespare (kind of):D

[SHELLEY]

this is from my experience only, so don't anyone get your panties in a twist ok?

after this long off opis, especially after tapering off the done and dropping off at such a low dose
the "w/d symptoms" you feel probably have nothing to do with actual real w/d
when i was tapering and finally stopped, i felt like i needed SOMETHING throughout the day
a vicodin, ritalin, a joint, a beer, a tylenol, a vistaril, fucking something
and if i didn't take that something, i felt like shit
because for years and years i'd been taking "something" (h, coke, meth, etc) to feel a certain way
suddenly i was faced with feeling the way i felt instead of the way i made myself feel thru drugs
i figured if i ingested/smoked/drank some sort of substance, it would be ok
and it worked kinda, but it only worked because i was under the mistaken impression
that after the real kick i needed some sort of substance to make me feel "normal"
but there is no "normal" there is only life with it's ups and downs
taking all those pills is just reinforcing the belief that you need to take "something"
when at this point you really physically don't

my suggestion?
fuck the somas, addreal, and immodium
go through the day without taking any of that shit
then the next day
then the next day
if you are really trying to stay clean, relying on chemicals to survive the day is a bad precedent to set IMO

good job though :)

[oxy kid]

this is from my experience only, so don't anyone get your panties in a twist ok?

after this long off opis, especially after tapering off the done and dropping off at such a low dose
the "w/d symptoms" you feel probably have nothing to do with actual real w/d
when i was tapering and finally stopped, i felt like i needed SOMETHING throughout the day
a vicodin, ritalin, a joint, a beer, a tylenol, a vistaril, fucking something
and if i didn't take that something, i felt like shit
because for years and years i'd been taking "something" (h, coke, meth, etc) to feel a certain way
suddenly i was faced with feeling the way i felt instead of the way i made myself feel thru drugs
i figured if i ingested/smoked/drank some sort of substance, it would be ok
and it worked kinda, but it only worked because i was under the mistaken impression
that after the real kick i needed some sort of substance to make me feel "normal"
but there is no "normal" there is only life with it's ups and downs
taking all those pills is just reinforcing the belief that you need to take "something"
when at this point you really physically don't

my suggestion?
fuck the somas, addreal, and immodium
go through the day without taking any of that shit
then the next day
then the next day
if you are really trying to stay clean, relying on chemicals to survive the day is a bad precedent to set IMO

good job though :)

I completely agree with you shelley....but we all know oh so well how when you get to that point, like you said, you just feel like you need some sort of substance to get through the day. At the moment, I just can't sacrifice feeling like shit because of work and what not. I get a break over thanksgiving, and I expect to be fully clean by then. Then I might just take the Shelley route of cleanliness and just smoke blunts everyday. :)

Honestly, If I do smoke, it really does eliminate anything to do with getting over this. My minds not worried about it, my body feels fine and I basically just relax and get through the day. And thats all I'm doing right now, trying to get through day to day.

[Ozzy]

M F
the general concensus on RLS now is that it is dopamine related. Opiate w/d definitely has some dopamine receptor action going. So much so that Requip, a medication out now originally for parkinsons but being used for RLS (in non addicts) is actually opioid related. I haven't done much individual reasearch yet though, so take that as you may.

The brain recovering from opiate abuse is such an interesting subject to me. Will we ever be 100% again? Who knows. Hopefully science is on our side.

[OrangeLude]

again Oxy good for you. clean off opi's means a lot! if that is what you want...for me when I have in the past gone for clean I have targeted complete abstinence...perhaps that has always been my short coming.

I also found that the 12 step system for counting time and celebrating it didn't really work for me...I always felt that sobriety is a measurement of quality of life, quality of mind, spirit and behavior not a measurement of time. in my time in 12 step meetings there are many folks I met I would never exchange the quantity of their sobriety for the quality of mine...

For me 20 years in & out of 12 step recovery I would be glad to walk in a meeting, comfortable to sit there. Would I celebrate 6 months of clean time cause I've been off all opi's except my prescribed dose...I just don't feel the need to. ymmv & I'm not looking for a debate just expressing my experience.

[jacky]

keep up the good work man!

opiates/opioids are sometimes best left to the small percentage of people that are truly happy under their rule, and the even smaller percentage that can even approach handling them responsibly.

there are plenty of interesting herbs and substances besides opiates/opioids that might be a better option.

I found kava kava to be a great helper when I was trying to stay clean.
a few times I wanted to relapse so bad....but instead I just bought a bottle of kava kava extract...I ate the whole damn bottle (not reccomended) and for some reason ended up getting itchy and sleepy.
it wasnt the smartest thing I have done...but it kept me from ruining my so called sobriety.

hope it works for you!

[oxy kid]

21. Not too much to say. Kinda of a hard day. Still just a trucking right now.....

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

well could say why day was hard,
but
one more day behind Ya
+1


when shit seems to get kind of boring,
try to sitch your scene around a bit.
try doing something never do before?? or just read a good book?

[oxy kid]

Well, just thought I'd stop by and write a little update since its been about 4 days since I've posted. I've been doing good at times and at others its not so great. I can tell that I am constantly improving.....and thats what I want.

Well, the other night I made an idiot mistake. I was hammered drunk, and an "old friend" came up to me and offered me a lousy LT10, and like an idiot, grabbed it and down the hatch it went. I don't even remember it doing anything, just wish I wouldn't have taken it. Luckily for me, I didn't head back down that road again, and the next day didn't feel bad or anything...live and learn. Hopefully that didn't set me back at all.

Everything else has been going great. Basically gotten off the lope completely, and starting to taper on the benzos, although I have been skipping days about every other day. The anxiety and cravings still come and go as they please, so they are still helping me a little. Don't want a benzo habit again, so I'm getting off these things asap.

This Thursday would have been 1 month clean, excluding that stupid night with one LT at the bar....at least I didn't keep going at it or go and cop or anything.

Hope you all are doing great. Take care.

[wisegal]

Don't want a benzo habit again, so I'm getting off these things asap.

This Thursday would have been 1 month clean, excluding that stupid night with one LT at the bar....at least I didn't keep going at it or go and cop or anything.



Don't feel so bad about the night @ the bar, it could have been a lot worse.

Getting tapered off those benzo's is prob. the best thing you could do for yourself. (thats if you dont really have a medical need for them)

You're still doing awesome, keep it up :)

[oxy kid]

Thanks for the comment WG. I needed a little pick me up today. its just been one of those days...rainy...lots to do(Which i guess is a good thing) and I'm just a little tired. No motivation. Ready to get some of those good happy chemicals going in the brain to correct way again...

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

OXY MAN (kid) - shit you are doing great. IMHO still CLEAN for the month.
Night at bar- drunk behavior, no relapse or any shit like that.
IMPORTANT thing now is stay healthy, going into that FLU fing season.
Any exercising going on?? eat well , rent some funny movies
Just keep doing it, slow taper on benzo'z -sound like you know want to do there
YOU HAVE COME SO FUCKING FAR- I am proud of you, mang
keep the thread going
bet you have NO idea how much it is/ will help other

:)

[limitless_euphoria]

That's really cool. It's not easy but it does get easier. Just remember it's easier to stay "stopped" if you will than it would be to have to stop all over again!

[hydro chris]

congrats bro..keep it up
shit aint easy
ill take a little while but before you know it, their will be days,
that will go by and you wont even realize you made it though
witout the thought of using using. i know it hard to believe but it will happen.
hang in there, good luck

[bodytec]

good job,bro
try not to take dyphenhydramine hcl for sleep,as it tends to cause leg restlessness
also,would low-dose seroquel for sleep be good for you?

[SHELLEY]

good job,bro
try not to take dyphenhydramine hcl for sleep,as it tends to cause leg restlessness
also,would low-dose seroquel for sleep be good for you?

seroquel is rough shit
you take it with the wrong type of brain chemistry, seizures

[duck]

Awesome job man....what about taking muscle relaxers like Skolaxin (sp?)?

[Papa Verine]

Hey good job Oxykid. Hang in there. You might not feel noticably better every day, but if you look back every couple weeks or so, you'll be able to note how much better you keep feeling. I'm not sure if that makes sense... But it's a slow process and you have much improvement to look forward to for a long time. You'll just keep feeling better and better...

Hey, by the way, what is a LT10? Lortab or something? That doesn't seem like it would make any difference, such a small dose like that.

And be VERY careful you don't start drinking all crazy to replace or make up for the lack of opiates. That can get REAL ugly and I think you'd be better off getting high if you end up with a heavy drinking habit after this.

Also, alcohol is going to severely interfere with all that progress and mental healing I was talking about up there^^^

[oxy kid]

Absolutely will not acquire a drinking problem. I know there have been people in the past that have said that, and things went in the different direction, but there's no way I could even get one with my living situation. Its a lot easier to slip in the bathroom for a pill than to slip in and gulp down a liter of my favorite whiskey. I had a friend of mine in treatment a couple years ago when I went for a little bit, and he said his alcohol use got a little out of control because all he would do all day is wake up and crack open a beer, and sit and do it all day, because he had absolutely nothing else to do other than sell....cookies.....all day, everyday.

Well, everybody, have a good day. Take care of yourselves. Out to run some errands and a couple classes. No meds this morning! Thats always a plus. I'm going to try and make it all day with no meds. I have had some kinda dull headache for a little while thats extremely annoying. Any ideas?

But like I said, have a good day.

[More Feen]

Headaches are commonly located in the realm of the non-opiated:

WELCOME Friend !!

It sucks, but if you're committed, you have ibuprofen/aspirin/acetaminphen and some of the other OTC HA meds.

I still have some T3's, but haven't taken any for months. I know that doing so could kick off another round, which I will try to avoid.

Good Job Oxy--if you're in for a month, the hard part is over.

Don't worry about an occassional F/U, give yourself a pass--esp. if you never felt it!

M F

[barbiegal]

How about some coffee or mountain dew for those headaches? Try some caffeine,always helps me. Good luck,you;re doing great. Thanks for updating us. :)

[Papa Verine]

How about some coffee or mountain dew for those headaches? Try some caffeine,always helps me. Good luck,you;re doing great. Thanks for updating us. :)

Good idea, caffeine always helps me when I have a headache too... But sometimes after too much caffeine I find myself craving some benzos. It's always something with me. Gotta have some chemicals to fix everything...

[oxy kid]

Good idea, caffeine always helps me when I have a headache too... But sometimes after too much caffeine I find myself craving some benzos. It's always something with me. Gotta have some chemicals to fix everything...


I hear you on that. I drank a cup of coffee this morning and actually felt great all morning until about now. Now I'm back to the jittery/anxious feeling that i've been getting a pretty good bit.

Question on the benzo taper...would it be better to start cutting back with xans or kpins? I want to taper off them instead of just CT them (I can notice tolerance rising, and I'm afraid a little bit of the bad feelings i've been having is from POSSIBLE benzo w/d). I used them pretty steadily my first week/week and 1/2. I didn't just eat 10 of them a day or anything, just one about every 4-6 hours. Since then, it's been somewhat off/on skipping days here and there, but still been using their aid for all the axiety that I inevitably have everyday. Any suggestions? I don't really remember what benzo w/d felt like, even though i went through it about 3-4 years ago, but I by no means have been abusing these now.

I can feel progress, and I can tell a lot of the cravings are starting to subside, so thats a huge plus. I hate that little voice telling me to go find something and it'll make me feel better.....but then an hour or two later, back to square one. Wow what I would give to get back to day one. Live and Learn.

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

WELL- let say u posted around 1:00pm
personal, I would have another cup of coffee
or if possible- when you get that jitter feeling
anyway you came hop on a stationary bike?
do so kind of cardio work routine for 15-20 minutes?

TO BETTER ANSWER YOUR BENZO TAPER QUESTION
give us an idea what benzo intake is like
or say 3 day period
HOW much and WHEN & WHAT do you take

in general The benzo with longest half life and the LEAST pleasure
is what you want to taper with
and PLEASE taper ? NO CT with benzos
I think this will just be a very,very minor issue with you

god bless ya kid- YOU are doing great!!!
YOU WILL MAKE IT THRU MONTH 2
This is where you mind will start to fuck with ya

[More Feen]

WELL- let say u posted around 1:00pm
personal, I would have another cup of coffee
or if possible- when you get that jitter feeling
anyway you came hop on a stationary bike?
do so kind of cardio work routine for 15-20 minutes?

TO BETTER ANSWER YOUR BENZO TAPER QUESTION
give us an idea what benzo intake is like
or say 3 day period
HOW much and WHEN & WHAT do you take

in general The benzo with longest half life and the LEAST pleasure
is what you want to taper with
and PLEASE taper ? NO CT with benzos
I think this will just be a very,very minor issue with you

god bless ya kid- YOU are doing great!!!
YOU WILL MAKE IT THRU MONTH 2
This is where you mind will start to fuck with ya

^^ +1 ^^
Agreeing with Dr. GnD--your longest acting benzo is going to be Klonopin. Should be a good 8 hours for each pill.

Xannies are definately shorter-acting & more likely to be abused. If you need to, while you're tapering/quitting the xannies, you should be able to take half a klonopin extra (maybe more, use your best judgement).

Once you're completely off of the xannies, then you can start tapering your klono. Of course, if your doctor is helping you, you can discuss it with them.

Going CT from benzos can lead to seizures & death (not trying to scare you, just so you know). Its not like CT from opies.

Good work man!

M F

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

AH More Feen to thee RESCUE
once again- a walking PDR -u r
yea was to lazy to check 1/2 lifes -lol


Thanks me good buddy- tis great seeing Oxy make this progress Hey

[More Feen]

AH More Feen to thee RESCUE
once again- a walking PDR -u r
yea was to lazy to check 1/2 lifes -lol


Thanks me good buddy- tis great seeing Oxy make this progress Hey


Hey friend--its all good. I like Oxy's voluntary choice to quit. I was kinda forced to.

Doing it voluntarily is tough, kudos to him!

You're no slouch when it comes to the info--I just added my 2 cents.

M F

[oxy kid]

Thanks for the input guys and gals. I no doubt no about Benzo w/d after a seizure and a week of feeling bad. I'd almost argue that Benzos are just as hard to get off of than opi's, because when that anxiety starts coming, you dont' really have anything to help out with it.

At absolute most, maybe 2mgs of Xan daily.... Some days none. Today I've made it on 1mg and I'll more than likely not dose again. Some days, .5mg of kpin and .5-1mgs of xan. I"m going to start keeping track of it.

[oxy kid]

Woke up with the damn achy legs this morning again. Had a little bit of watery eyes, but that sems to be gone now. Stomach is also a little upset.

Like I said earlier, I have quit taking the lope, but I might take a couple this morning because of my stomach. Anybody think thats a bad idea? Good idea?

Still have my friend, mister headache, as well hanging out with me. I'm about to hop up and throw some coffee on, take a shower, take a couple aleve and see how that makes me feel. I eneded up making it yesterday on 1mg xan/.5mg kpin. I'm not fiending for benzos or anything, but I just still want to get away from them before a problem develops. Unfortunately, I'm out of somas, or I'd probably just take one of them to get this achyness away. I think my goal is to be feeling a little better by the 6 week point.

Today is a month. Gotta make it day by day. I think what has gotten me through all this is just the thought that it will eventually all be better. And I can look back and be so thankful that I kicked when I did, instead of waiting. I never saw myself at this point a month ago.

Take care and have a good day.

[oxy kid]

Oh and I also have some Flexeril (I Know, its horrible and it sucks) but I just thought I'd get some opinions to see what you guys thought about using it to help at all. Any suggestions?

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

Yah I would drop maybe 1 lop tablet and a bit of k-pins-
Left ya a messages
personal flexaril just made me feel real LOOPY
shit I am naturally LOOPY

hey also might try sleeping on 2pillows - put head in diffferent position
might help those headache, IT DOES WITH ME

[oxy kid]

Man I've been sleeping on 3!!! ha

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

Man I've been sleeping on 3!!! ha

:D cHANGE OF PLAN- remove one pillow:D

and I sure hope your keeping up with the 'waxing the cane routine' ;)

[oxy kid]

haha, I'm starting to get back to running to get some natural endorphins kicking. My legs are still aching from this morning....and its been a longgggggg day. There not as bad as they were this morning, but they still ache. Dosed this morning .5mg of kpin. Should I just try to spend the entire day and night on that? I know I can make it. After a long day, time to go drink a beer.

Also, for some reason I've been super nausiated today. I mean like, for no reason. I woke up nauseated. My food intake hasnt been that great today, but I'm about to go get some food and get something on my stomach. Any suggestions on things to eat/drink when nausea kicks in?

Have a good night everybody. I'll be back later.

[dieselbaby]

Keep up the good work, buddy. Just stay focused on what you want, and know that every day you go without will be one day closer to feeling 'normal' again without opiates. Try to have sex or beat off (lol) if you can, it will definitely help.

Things to eat (good for nausea):

Plain bagels
Crackers, anything starchy
Ginger ale/sprite/coke (not too cold)

Eat whatever you feel like eating...you're probably not eating too much anyways so you might as well enjoy it. Your body is working overtime as it is, so a couple of extra calories certainly won't hurt.

[oxy kid]

Ate a nice dinner tonight, defiantly made me feel a little better. Jitters came back a little later....I'm super tired though, so hopefully I'll be getting some sleep before long.

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

well hope you have a good nights sleep
running routine- EXCELLENT
maybe try eating some bananas
and YOGURT- yogurt is suppose to had some enzymes
that help balance stomach natural acids-digestion etc
and make for a healthy GI tract
soft food like that are easy to eat when feeling nauseated
SHIT- ONE MORE DAY UNDER YOUR BELT :)

[oxy kid]

It's gotta be the benzos that are giving me a problem right now. made it on .5mg of kpin yesterday, and I woke up about an hour ago and havn't been able to get back to sleep. Been wrestling around in the bed trying to get comfortable. Killer headache yet again. Worse than yesterday. Legs are aching again. Maybe not quite as bad as yesterday.

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

OK WHEN YOU SAY THE BENZOS ARE GIVING YOUR THE PROBLEMS
do you mean the lack of, as in tapering back is giving sleep and leg pains?
If so take a minor amount now see if that helps the legs.

Also I just took a quick look at thread beginning
It seem like you have had a habit of sorts for 5 years?
even it is less, this sleep disturbance and body/ leg pain in normal
you're past the BAD wds stage but in the 'PAWS' stage
that can go on for a couple months
your body/brain is still adjusting
remmeber it took years of use to get to where you quit
so it just takes time to 'heal"

MAYBE EVEN GIVE FLEXIRAL A TRY today
I think they are scored , break in half and see how the legs feel
and again , it probably last thing you wanted to do,
but an quick walk around the block first thing in AM would be great

[oxy kid]

Its amazing how drugs can be so great, and then the exact same drugs, at a different time, can be the worst thing in the world...or lack there of them at least. My quote for the day.

1 month clean today. Wow. One entire month.

[More Feen]

You're doing GREAT MAN!

Definately the worst is over.

Now its just about finding other things to do beside drugs. You're a student--yes? So now you can bury yourself in your classwork.

Keep it going,

M F

[oxy kid]

MF, we have the same amount of posts.....until I posted this at least...

Yeah, I need to be doing some schoolwork. It's been keeping me busy. I've been the busiest that I've ever been over the last month probably. I'm starting to enjoy life again without having to be high. I do miss it, but I want to have a real life without the hassels of everyday copping and junky life. Now I'd gladly take a nice OC80 script and live happily ever after, but i don't see that happening anytime soon.

I can't thank everyone here enough for all the help you've been. Even shelley when you just told me to just tough it out....ha.

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

Hey a month
bet you never though possible-- 30 days ago
CONGRADS !!!!


PS- yea i was thinking if leg issues were bad
give the flexaril a try
thinking back, it was a decent muscle relaxer
it was only when I ABUSED THEM (lol,of course)
that they just made me feel fuzzy,loopy kind of.
but give it a try if pain is bad

KEEP IT UP!!!

[More Feen]

MF, we have the same amount of posts.....until I posted this at least...

Yeah, I need to be doing some schoolwork. It's been keeping me busy. I've been the busiest that I've ever been over the last month probably. I'm starting to enjoy life again without having to be high. I do miss it, but I want to have a real life without the hassels of everyday copping and junky life. Now I'd gladly take a nice OC80 script and live happily ever after, but i don't see that happening anytime soon.

I can't thank everyone here enough for all the help you've been. Even shelley when you just told me to just tough it out....ha.


Yeah dude, when your endorphine levels get back up to par--it is like being high (well, not quite as nice, but its natural). I think I'm laughing a lot more, and my sense of humor has improved.

I'm seeing a new doctor in a few weeks, I'm debating whether I should try to spark an Rx for some kind of opiate.

Like you, I know it will feel good, but I'm also worried that it could trigger a "relapse" of sorts.

Like you, I am now up to 774 (unless Johnny M-hawk pwns me again :) )

Take it very easy man! (focus on improving your GPA: even if its a 3.57, it could get higher!!)

M F

[oxy kid]

Yeah dude, when your endorphine levels get back up to par--it is like being high (well, not quite as nice, but its natural). I think I'm laughing a lot more, and my sense of humor has improved.

I'm seeing a new doctor in a few weeks, I'm debating whether I should try to spark an Rx for some kind of opiate.

Like you, I know it will feel good, but I'm also worried that it could trigger a "relapse" of sorts.

Like you, I am now up to 774 (unless Johnny M-hawk pwns me again :) )

Take it very easy man! (focus on improving your GPA: even if its a 3.57, it could get higher!!)

M F


Getting Higher is always a positive thing!!!!!!!!!!!

[SHELLEY]

don't count days
don't think about how long it's been since your last hit/dose
just take care of things that have nothing at all to do with drugs
and the days'll take care of themselves

that's my suggestion at least

[duck]

Can anybody comment if standard muscle relaxers like Skolaxin (sp?) would be good for someone in his position? They're usually easily attainable.

[OxyQueen]

Its amazing how drugs can be so great, and then the exact same drugs, at a different time, can be the worst thing in the world...or lack there of them at least. My quote for the day.

1 month clean today. Wow. One entire month.

WOW that is AWESOME...an entire month in junkie time = eternity!!!
Props to you. You are doing really well. That PAWS shit sucks though...be careful that is what usually ends up drawing the user back to drugs.

Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months...and so on....just keep it up. I wish i could be as strong as u to just go cold turkey like that. I'm just destined to be a junkie forever i guess :rolleyes:

Keep updating us on your progress....

CONGRATS!!!!
OQ

[oxy kid]

WOW that is AWESOME...an entire month in junkie time = eternity!!!
Props to you. You are doing really well. That PAWS shit sucks though...be careful that is what usually ends up drawing the user back to drugs.

Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months...and so on....just keep it up. I wish i could be as strong as u to just go cold turkey like that. I'm just destined to be a junkie forever i guess :rolleyes:

Keep updating us on your progress....

CONGRATS!!!!
OQ


As far as muscle relaxers go, personally, I've only gotten good results from Somas. Flexeril, to my understanding, is basically a tricylic antidepressant converted to muscle relaxer. I remember gettting Robaxin when I was in inpatieint treatment a couple years ago and got somewhat decent results I think. It's been a while.

OQ, thanks for the kind words. Its people like you and a lot of the other people on here, that keep me on the straight and narrow. It's so amazing how everybody is always so willing to lend their advice and help in anyway they can.

Thanks everyone.

[Dan Steely]

That's great man. A month is an ocean of time in this life and you made it across, impressive. Curious, how many times/day do you think (I wanna get high) or something along those lines.

[oxy kid]

That's great man. A month is an ocean of time in this life and you made it across, impressive. Curious, how many times/day do you think (I wanna get high) or something along those lines.

Some days a lot, some days less. If I can keep myself super busy, I don't think about it near as much. If I'm sitting around watching TV, I'll think about it a ton. But I can tell its slowly going away. Cravings are starting to calm down, and things are slowly getting better.

Right now, watching college football, sitting here....I'm thinking about it. Ha. Have too many pleasant memories of Saturday's sitting in front of the TV watching college football.

[OxyQueen]

OxyKid....
Here's a little something i learned a million years ago, when i went away to rehab for coke n booze.....

H.A.L.T--- meaning STOP!!! Cravings will increase dramitically if you are..

H--ungry
A--ngry
L--onely
T--ired

Just a little something to keep in the back of ur mind when one of those cravings creep up on ya.

I so admire your strength!
Whats ur plans for Halloween Eve??? I'm taking my little one trick or treating, he's gonna be The Joker from Batman ... He has a wicked cool costume this year :)
Hope u have/had a great Halloween!!! Tis my favorite holiday

[HandMeSomeOpiates]

Oxy Kid, kick addiction in the mothafuckin face and be done with that life draining piece of shit!! I love to see people defeat that fuck. Addiction is a strong nemesis to fight against. Anyone who knocks that fool down should be madd proud! I know I am bro. You're doing a great job. Me and this mothafucka(addiction) are still brawling it out often. Sometimes we make up, but in time we're at each others necks again....... Keep on Keeping on brotha!


HMSO

[dieselbaby]

Oxy Kid...where you been at man?

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

hey was just going to VM him - ---deiselbaby
fickin weird -I going to look for this thread and YOU poped it up.

THINKING THE BEST THOUGHTS FOR HIM!

[oxy kid]

Hey guys, been doing good. Just havn't spent a ton of time online. Been staying super busy. Had a little bump in the clean road, but doing my best to keep things on track. Slowly making progress. Hope everyone has been doing good.

Take care.

[More Feen]

Hey guys, been doing good. Just havn't spent a ton of time online. Been staying super busy. Had a little bump in the clean road, but doing my best to keep things on track. Slowly making progress. Hope everyone has been doing good.

Take care.

Hey Oxy, don't worry about those little bumps--I run into them every once in a while too--my car's all banged-up 'cause it ! :D

Some bumps were better than others, nothing that really "Zazzed" me though.

It sounds like you're keeping nice & busy--that's good. The time I miss them the most is when I shitting-around doing nothing but watching TV.

When busy, eh, it'd be nicer to be buzzed, but its easier to ignore. Keep on keeping on Oxy-K!

M F