Hammilton
06-24-2006, 12:16 AM
Hello. I am a poet, actually, thats what I'm going to college for. My major is psychology, minor in English, and after graduation I'll be entering a Master's of Fine Arts in Creative Writing, mainly for Poetry and somewhat for Short Fiction. I'm working on a novel as well, I think... Until you pass the first 10,000 words, it's hard to say its anything other than a story. Anyway, tonight, while nodding, I had a dream that put the basic imagery into my head, and for the last hour I've been working on it. It's a very rough draft. Don't bother saying "oh its really good" or even "wow, that sucks". Compliments like that are useless, and as the writer, I always feel really awkward when recieve those.
If you want to give me anything, I can always use comments on the imagery and techniques that I may want to change. By the way, this is untitled as of yet. Theres a lot of work to go. Also, I had to use __ to indent the lines I needed to; I made them white to make it prettier. Also, below, I've included some notes so you could skip searching for the references I've made, or perhaps gain an insight into my mind. As if anyone needs that torment.
Abject Despot
judgment stands
ready.
A depraved indefatigable
sentinal
feeding on your
wailing agonies
_____Dionysius,
Wildman of Sicily
Elder Tyrant.
The Gods themselves
have heard
the lamentations
emanating
forth
from the tears
of crushed
Carthaginians
_____whose desecrated
corpses
your forces profaned.
Henceforth shall the River
_____Styx flow red as Pomegranate
and eternal
as the unfading Amarant.
[ Just a few notes, starting from the top. I'm including these so you don't have to bother searching for the references I made. Dionysius was a tyrant ruling over Sicily from 405 to 367bc approximately. The "Elder" refers to the first of the Dionysius; The second was his son, unsurprisingly, and also a tyrant (also unsurprisingly) who was exiled because of his cruelty. They were known as "The Elder" and "The Younger" respectively. The Carthaginians were the people The Elder focused his cruelty upon. I think the river Styx is a fairly obvious reference. I chose the Pomengranate for a couple reasons. One, is because it was once known as the Carthage Apple or Apple of Carthage, Carthage being the home of the persecuted Carthaginians. Pomengranate is believed to be the forbidden fruit of the Bible, and in Greek and Roman myth, it is the fruit that Persephone, Demeter's (or Ceres) daughter, ate half of when she was being held in the Underworld after being kidnapped by Pluto (or Hades). Since then, it has been associated with Death. Persians believed it offered invibility over death in battle, making it even more appropriate in this poem. Amarant is an older spelling of Amaranth, a legendary, and mythical, flower deep-red in color and undying. It symbolizes immortality and eternity. The Amarant here is used to refer to the eternity that this Dionysius will be supplying the blood to color the River Styx. ]
If you want to give me anything, I can always use comments on the imagery and techniques that I may want to change. By the way, this is untitled as of yet. Theres a lot of work to go. Also, I had to use __ to indent the lines I needed to; I made them white to make it prettier. Also, below, I've included some notes so you could skip searching for the references I've made, or perhaps gain an insight into my mind. As if anyone needs that torment.
Abject Despot
judgment stands
ready.
A depraved indefatigable
sentinal
feeding on your
wailing agonies
_____Dionysius,
Wildman of Sicily
Elder Tyrant.
The Gods themselves
have heard
the lamentations
emanating
forth
from the tears
of crushed
Carthaginians
_____whose desecrated
corpses
your forces profaned.
Henceforth shall the River
_____Styx flow red as Pomegranate
and eternal
as the unfading Amarant.
[ Just a few notes, starting from the top. I'm including these so you don't have to bother searching for the references I made. Dionysius was a tyrant ruling over Sicily from 405 to 367bc approximately. The "Elder" refers to the first of the Dionysius; The second was his son, unsurprisingly, and also a tyrant (also unsurprisingly) who was exiled because of his cruelty. They were known as "The Elder" and "The Younger" respectively. The Carthaginians were the people The Elder focused his cruelty upon. I think the river Styx is a fairly obvious reference. I chose the Pomengranate for a couple reasons. One, is because it was once known as the Carthage Apple or Apple of Carthage, Carthage being the home of the persecuted Carthaginians. Pomengranate is believed to be the forbidden fruit of the Bible, and in Greek and Roman myth, it is the fruit that Persephone, Demeter's (or Ceres) daughter, ate half of when she was being held in the Underworld after being kidnapped by Pluto (or Hades). Since then, it has been associated with Death. Persians believed it offered invibility over death in battle, making it even more appropriate in this poem. Amarant is an older spelling of Amaranth, a legendary, and mythical, flower deep-red in color and undying. It symbolizes immortality and eternity. The Amarant here is used to refer to the eternity that this Dionysius will be supplying the blood to color the River Styx. ]