FINALLY split dosing!

[Badly Drawn Girl]

First of all, in order to answer some questions about my absence the last couple of months, my father passed away last month. Shockingly I almost lost my mother on the same day (I am a live in caregiver for my parents) due to an unrelated freak health problem. My father spent the last 6 weeks of his life in a nursing home and while we knew the end was coming, it's always a shock. He woke up one morning and literally couldn't walk, talk or eat. The day before he'd been able to dress himself, read, fed himself... and no one could explain why he lost all those abilities. He had Huntington's Disease, so I knew it would eventually take over but not over night. At that point I was no longer able to care for him at home. My mother was in a temporary nursing home following her second broken arm (same arm) in 6 weeks from a fall when she stopped breathing. She is back home now and doing just fine health wise.

Anyway... hence my absence. I wanted to give an update on my methadone experience though. I just celebrated my one year on 'done. And was still getting sick EVERY single night. I never said the words "split dose" to my doctor because I was told by a dosing nurse that the clinic "doesn't split dose." I figured that if I asked it would be a red flag especially since I've had more dirty UA's than clean. I didn't want to seem like the stereotypical junkie trying to pull a fast one. But I was always honest about my concerns with how sick I was every night. Finally was given a trough and my blood levels were HIGH. I was so bummed out.

The doctor got all concerned because she feels that I shouldn't go up much higher. (I was at 120 at the time.) She bumped me up 10 mgs and said hopefully that would help. Well it didn't and thankfully I had my annual physical with her two weeks later. We ended up having a LONG conversation (she spent 30 minutes just talking to me) and out of nowhere she says "I'm going to up you another 10 mgs and split your dose." I had to play it cool but I wanted to hug her. Then she said "I do not do this for anyone unless they are pregnant or on seizure meds. You will be the only person at this clinic who doesn't fall under one of those conditions."

Then she made me swear up and down that I wouldn't breath a word of this to anyone else at the clinic because according to her "EVERYONE always asks to be split dosed... and I mean almost every single person. And let me tell you, there are some people here that I wouldn't trust with that take home bottle for one second because they would sell it." (The doctor is a tiny little woman in her 70's, with a voice like a lifetime smoker. She is hysterical when she gets riled up) I assured here that I wouldn't say a word. (The funny thing is that both the receptionist and the dosing nurses have put me in uncomfortable situations with their questions. If anyone is going to spill the beans, it won't be me but a staff member.)

This is only day two split dosing but I can already feel a difference. My mornings are a bit rough but my nights are so much better. I'm just so relieved that the doctor gave me a chance. I'm praying this will work because I've been so discouraged of late.

And that's my update. Hopefully I will be able to post more than one time every third month! :p

[Morfiend]

Sorry to hear about your father. My Dad's health is deteriorating right now and I sympathize. It's nice that you didn't have to go through the same thing with your Mom.

Sounds like you have a really nice doctor/patient relationship... it scares me to hear stories like this though... makes me wonder if I will struggle with my addiction in such a long-term way someday...

Oh and hey, nice to meet you, I'm new here.

[Duckfeet]

I'm glad to see you...and of course, my condolences about your father...I deal with really old parents, and sometimes it's cool, u know, sitting in the sun listening to my stepdad talk about Los Angeles, "back in the day", and he's 95, tho he and my mom and me too, get confused about *exactly* how old he is, for some reason...I think it's cuz my mom, u know, knows that we all remember that *she's* almost eighty...but it don't matter to me, whatever...

but anyway, I'm glad to hear about the split dosing...I know a girl here locally, that I met on another board, who split doses and swears by it...and it's the same thing here: the official policy is "no split doses" since, like you said, every junky in there wants'em...but if you show them you are responsible, and make a good case for it, it can be done...

Mostly just wanted to say "hey" and glad to see you around here...

[RxQueen]

sorry to hear about your dad, BDG. my thoughts are with you and your family. but that's really good news that the clinic split your dose! please keep us updated... i'm really hoping that this is exactly what you've been needing for a year now.

[pokergooch]

I just wanted to give my condolences on your loss. I just lost my Mother a couple months ago and it still hurts. but congrats on the split dose. Its kind of weird, I live in a very conservative (mormon) community and you feel very very safe at the methadone clinic. Its no different than walking into a regular docs office. But when I transfered to Southern Cal for a few days because of a trip. They had me bring a lock box and a securty officer stick with me the entire time, made the cab wait the whole time and they got me out of there in less than 2 minutes (they gave me like 5 take homes) every person in there looked like they wanted a piece of me and my done.

Im glad the done helps, it helped me. Ive been off done and on reg pain meds for 10 years now....

Good luck.

PG

[Restharrow]

I am sorry about your father BDG.

Taking care of parents is a huge responsibility to have put on you. Glad the done split worked out for you.

Will

[Poppylvr]

This is only day two split dosing but I can already feel a difference. My mornings are a bit rough but my nights are so much better. I'm just so relieved that the doctor gave me a chance. I'm praying this will work because I've been so discouraged of late.

And that's my update. Hopefully I will be able to post more than one time every third month! :p
Oh BDG, a Big Grandma HUG to you, sweetie. I'm so sorry about your Dad's death, and Thank God you didn't lose your Moms at the same time. I hope she mends rapidly.
And a big fat YAY!!!!:party:on finally getting split dosing. I know you have wanted that forever, and I'm glad your early experience with it is positive.
Don't be a stranger:)

[DCBA]

I´ve started split dosing too.. 60mgs plus 60mgs daily..

[Morphus]

Why is split dosing so taboo? Why is it so attractive that "almost every single junkie/client requests it?"

[30_Units]

Firstly, condolences and congratulations, BDG. Dealing with clinics is hard stuff-glad your doc was cool with ya.

And morphus-I'd be willing to bet it's a diversion issue. I can't say why it would be attractive from a client standpoint (unless of coourse you were trying to divert or had problems like the OP) but clinics take a lot of care to prevent people from sharing.

[Citrus]

I'd assume because the patient could take it home, sell/abuse it?

[nick]

Much condolences BDG and I hope split dosing works for you.

[Papa Verine]

I've been wondering where you were BDG. I don't always notice when a member disappears but for some reason I really noticed your absence. I'm sorry to hear about your father. I hope the split dosing works well for you. Please keep us posted!

[Morphus]

I'd assume because the patient could take it home, sell/abuse it?


Oh, I guess I thought that split dosing means that you would visit the clinic in the AM for the first half of your dose, and then youd return later for your second dose. So you come in for the first half, take it under supervision then they give you a take home with the second half? I dont see why split dosing would be a problem if it meant two trips to the clinic a day, I mean it would be a tremendous hassle for the client, so I guess I'm not real versed in clinic protocol.

[nick]

Oh, I guess I thought that split dosing means that you would visit the clinic in the AM for the first half of your dose, and then youd return later for your second dose. So you come in for the first half, take it under supervision then they give you a take home with the second half? I dont see why split dosing would be a problem if it meant two trips to the clinic a day, I mean it would be a tremendous hassle for the client, so I guess I'm not real versed in clinic protocol.

Most clinics opening hours precludes dosing at the clinic twice in a day.


Not allowing split dosing is dumb and counter productive.

[lotus]

so sorry to hear about your father, hope you and your mother are getting by all right~

And, congratulations on the split dose......i remember how much you wanted it - and now, hopefully, welcome to methadone maintenance! (i don't consider shitty treatment any treatment at all).

like d.f said, everybody wants a split dose - a few actually need it. there's a difference between not feeling sedated by late noon, and actually being sick. by all your accounts, you were actually sick. docs being dicks about it - why then bother in the treatment field at all?

where i am, they're really good with people in your situation. i don't know if it's the p/t test or what but the levels show up - and when, by 6 pm, the methadone reads like it would at 6 am, there is no question - they split it.

my only wish with split doses is that they'd allow the option (at least) in early treatment - for myself, along with MANY others, it took a considerable amount of time to get used once daily dosing. yes, part of it was psychological, but some really was physical.

i see allowing the option sort of like.......climatizing. i think some people would have better outcomes if they were given the choice (including all thru treatment)........and i think it would allow for considerable flexibility in patients lives - like if you're going thru a rough spot, being able to go 2x/day for a while could make the difference between fucking up and not.

anyways, i am super happy for you and again, congradulations!!!

[chopstix]

Much condolences BDG

Mine as well, I'm sorry for the loss of your father..


I've been wondering where you were BDG. I don't always notice when a member disappears but for some reason I really noticed your absence. I'm sorry to hear about your father. I hope the split dosing works well for you. Please keep us posted!

Me too, I think it's the avatar - I watch that avatar more than I care to admit, it cracks me up.. That and the intelligent, lucid posts.. Welcome back..

[OrangeLude]

BDG prayers and condolences/sympathy for your loss. I have lost both my parents and have gotten a bit older with each turn of the page.
Haven't heard a word about splitting doses at the clinic i participate at...wouldn't hurt to ask.

[Duckfeet]

1) It's more of a hassle for the dispensing nurse, for one thing, and it "slows down" movement...they gotta make up twice as many bottles, etc...

2) It gets "diverted,". It gets diverted a lot, actually...and so it causes problems for the clinic w/the 'community' etc...I think it's safe to say that most people at methadone clinics are "still in the life" and act accordingly.

3) One person gets it, they all want it...

The reasons for us junkies wanting it, are

1) Its fun to do dope, even methadone, and that would be *two* times a day we could look forward to a little lift...maybe...may seem silly, but it's why we always end up gobbling vicodins and percs and other shit we probably won't feel...

2) Often people seem to do better, when they get the second dose, sort of "spreads it out" more...and of course, you can find all kinds of clinical "endorphin depletion" shit to claim is your real reason...

3) You can share it with your girl...sure, some people are legit...and some of us, well, we're legit some of time.


Usually you can get splits when you get weekly takehomes anyway...just drink half the bottle...haha...unfortunately, most dopefiends err on the other side, u know, tend to take twice as much, rather than half...


Why is split dosing so taboo? Why is it so attractive that "almost every single junkie/client requests it?"

[Badly Drawn Girl]

Thank you all for the sweet posts! You've made my week and probably my month. I miss this community so much when I am away.

And just to clarify, yes... I drink half of my dose in the morning, and take home a bottle with my other half. I could easily sell that half for a nice fat profit each month. Hell, selling 5 bottles would pay my clinic fee for the month. And it wouldn't be hard to get your dose up high enough so that you could be fine on the first half in the morning. So that is the desire.

My understanding is that pain patients tend to due much better on split doses and people who are on methadone strictly for rehab purposes due better with one larger dose in the morning. I think the doctor realized after talking to me that I would never sell or share a dose. My complaints have been recorded for over a year, I've never missed a day even when I was paying a cab $60 bucks a day for a month to get there because I would be so sick if I missed.

I'm hoping that this initial honeymoon period doesn't fade away. I'm one happy gal with this new routine.

[SeVeN]

Sorry to hear about your loss. I know the feeling all to well, so there isn't really to much more to say.

Glad to hear about your split dosing though. You know the "honey moon" feeling will wear off, but I still bet the split dose will be much better than once a day. I never really understood that once a day accept that the system sucks so thats that.

[bodytec]

I agree with nick.
and hang in there,yo!!