Active Opiphiles that are clean or on MT

[HandMeSomeOpiates]

I was just curious as to how many of you are clean or on sub or methadone that still visit this site regularly?

[youwonhundred]

Clean for over a year, come here every day.

[chopstix]

Clean enough that the occasional 15mg of hydro makes my face itch if you can fucking believe that, two months ago I could easily do a gram+ within a few hours.. I am fighting a benzo habit though, and will be for awhile..

This place is worse than crack, dunno why, guess I'm just so familiar with the lifestyle that there's a lot that I feel I can comment on; and far from last are the friends I've made on this board, and even the people some probably think I hate, I don't, just disagree with on a lot of points and I think debate and a spunky board is healthy..

[Chipper]

Almost finished a minor taper and still dabble here and there but I'm usually not physically dependant for too long.

Hmmm ... I guess I don't really qualify for the posting requirments for this thread; my mistake.

[Duckfeet]

Clean for seven years, fighting the shit (dilaudids, methadone, subs, tar, most opy pills) for three...and clean now for about a week...probably why I'm so grouchy on here, lately...and waking up, like now, in the middle of the night...:(

[Mallinckrodt]

On the 'done since '02. Do H about 3 or 4 times a year at the most.

Coming here. . .especially on the heroin threads. . .does kind of make me want to get high, but I can put up with it for the enjoyment I get out of perusing the board.

[OxiContinKing]

been on mmt for almost 9 months now...

[DCBA]

clean for a few months but only do it once like in a few months, beeen on methadone here for 1,5 year for know and at least it stoped most use. and i mean almost all use cause once every monthS is nothing.. last year is was about 3 to 5 times the all year.

[lotus]

i'm like........a minimum of five years nearly TOTALLY no drug use.

on mmt, down to 15 mg's, smoke cigarettes.

even the "ye ol' faithfuls" - alcohol and weed - i can count how many times with less than 10 fingers.

[OxyQueen]

I am on suboxone
Been on it since last year around this time...
I still use once a month or so but only for a day or two...then right back to the subs.

[doctor diesel]

Six months on subutex, now down to 6mg daily from a starting point of 8mg, which was woefully insufficient. Still like to dip in to a smack-smoke every several days, so I'm a real bad boy, and not best pleased with myself.
You see, the spirit is very willing, but the flesh is oh-so weak.
You know how it is, guys 'n' gals.
In my defence, if I had a decent, interesting job and a comfortable level of income, I probably wouldn't feel the need to do what I do. Alas, credit crunch and all that....

[SHELLEY]

clean by my rules since march '08, off MMT for... 3 or 4 months, i don't really know
and this site is awesome so why should i leave?
if i decide to get high again, it won't be because something i read online :)

[doctor diesel]

Well done, Shelley, that's pretty damn impressive. As are some of you other posters previously.
Wish I had that kind of tenacity, I really do.

Doc

[30_Units]

been on suboxone since march 9th. Used pods twice in that amount of time.

So I'd say clean. I don't get blackout stupid on cannabis, so that's been a big thing for me recently. Sure, not NA clean, but that never worked out for me anyhow.

[upstate_007]

Clean of everything for almost 7 months. Tackling the cigarette monster now too.

[candy]

Clean for over a year now after a one week binge on heroin and continue on Methadone. Stopped my detox off of methadone due to medical problems!

Also should of mentioned that I do smoke pot legally for the effects of the MS.

[Motown]

Been on the Bupe Train for 8 months. I have "played" maybe 7 or 8 times (1 or 2 week binges)
Never has been worth it to try and bounce back and forth for me. I'm pretty stable on the Subs.

However.... ganja has been a part of my daily routine for the past 4 months. Only way I stay sane.

I have learned so much and met some great people.... can't see Opiophile NOT being in my future.
(regardless of opi intake)

Much Love.

[trainwrecker]

I've been on methadone for almost 4 years and now sub for 2. Aside from a few stretches I have dabbled very little in dope.

[doctor diesel]

I've been on methadone for almost 4 years and now sub for 2. Aside from a few stretches I have dabbled very little in dope.


So how do you keep yourself from dabbling? Has the fascination just worn off for you, or what?

Doc

[nick]

I'm on IV M maintenance.So,obviously no need for the street-thankfully.I'm too old for that crap.

[kellyblue]

I didn't realize there were so many of you! Congrats to all of you, whatever stage you're at right now. No matter what your history and personal story are, quitting is not easy... and I give props to all of you that have!

Stick around though... we need BOTH teams on here to play the game well, ya' know?

[upstate_007]

we need BOTH teams on here to play the game well, ya' know?

Exactly. There are enough of us clean junkies here to keep it cool for me, and I still love all my members here who are using. Plus, I've been in and out of the game for long enough to hopefully be able to help out people on both sides of the fence.

[DreamSellerInc]

Been on Subs for 6 months, down to less than 2 mgs, haven't used in 3 months

[HandMeSomeOpiates]

Tackling the cigarette monster now too.
That thing is a beast bro! Good luck in that battle, holler if you need reinforcments

I never knew there were so many of you clean or on MT. It seems like the most popular MT drug is sub. I've always been interested in it as methadone didn't work for me.

As for me, I am not clean but have successfully tapered to a weaker opiate (Norco). I was using oxy for a while and tried methadone. Unsuccessful with that I moved away, deleted my oxy contacts # and just kept my Norco script. I hope to be clean of it too. Maybe thinking of a short sub taper but have been told kratom would work just as good and is cheaper.

I just want to say to all of you who are clean and on MT two big fuckin thumbs UP! That is really something to be proud of. As I've said before, when they told us quitting opiates will be the hardest thing we will ever do, they weren't lying one bit....

[Nonphixion]

Been on subs clean 10 months...

[TigerFan]

Just subbies (nothing else). Off opies (except subs) for 7 mnths.

Completely clean (no weed/alc) since 6/6/09.

I must say that suboxone has changed my life for the better and has worked better than any 12-step program or counseling etc. (Although I have been attending meetings as of late).

[Poppylvr]

Haven't shot up in over 10 years; haven't used good drugs in ~8 years except for a brief relapse nearly 2 years ago. Been on Suboxone since Jan 08.

[HandMeSomeOpiates]

Haven't shot up in over 10 years; haven't used good drugs in ~8 years except for a brief relapse nearly 2 years ago. Been on Suboxone since Jan 08.
Just curious Popplvr, why did you wait so long to get on sub? Were the cravings coming back strong?? Regardless GRATZ! Thinking about being clean for that long gives me goosebumps, the good kind.

[Suboxstitute]

Been clean since late summer 2007 from opiates (on sub for that time.....didn't know then what I know now about sub and how its hard to get off. tapered down, hoping to be off this summer. But I'd do it again.

Although there are many folks who say being on sub and/or MMT isn't a claim to being "clean" it isn't lying and stealing either, so I consider myself clean. Benzos are another matter; it's a long story. The end of one drug sorta led to the start of a totally different one. Working on it......

Will be on the board no matter what!

Sue

[SHELLEY]

Although there are many folks who say being on sub and/or MMT isn't a claim to being "clean" it isn't lying and stealing either, so I consider myself clean.

Sue

you gotta make up your own rules for what "clean" means to you
you're the one who has to live with it, so fuck folks who say you aren't clean when you know you are
if clean means on subs/done and nothing else, then you're clean
for me, i consider myself clean as long as i don't shoot up or do coke meth or heroin :)

[Deadfiend]

mt 2.3yr

[trainwrecker]

So how do you keep yourself from dabbling? Has the fascination just worn off for you, or what?

Doc

I was pretty disillusioned by the whole 'game', alot of friends died, many in prison, many snitched on each other. I live in a pretty small town and I don't really trust anyone around here, if it was easier to get I would probably dabble more. But now I have so many other positive things in my life there is not much desire.

[lotus]

you gotta make up your own rules for what "clean" means to you
you're the one who has to live with it, so fuck folks who say you aren't clean when you know you are
if clean means on subs/done and nothing else, then you're clean
for me, i consider myself clean as long as i don't shoot up or do coke meth or heroin :)

Aye Aye.

________________________________________


it also took me FOREVER to figure out what a crock of shit 12 step Anything was (think mostly cause i was forced into it too soon/young)....so i made my own. apparently it's success rate is around 93/94% higher - tho i've yet to be able to convince them of that. until i got on here, every now and then (like once every other year) i'd go to an n/a meeting, out of total loneliness - man was that a fukin bitch slap back to reality.

that's why i'm here....i don't use, but somehow it's still overbearingly significant in my life......something people do not understand........except all of you fine folks ;).

and every evening i say a *prayer* for the junky still stuck in that shite, unable to understand why they can't stop, being told they're to blame cause they're not "trying" hard enough....

don't mean to offend anyone - i do believe whatever works, use it......just, for too many of us, it does nothing but possibly make us worse.

[Opiyum]

Feels good to be able to say that I am opiate free right now and I do plan on visiting the site regularly. Unless I find that it causes cravings. So far it hasn't.

[Badly Drawn Girl]

I've been on MT for exactly a year as of the 7th of July and I've also been clean off of coke for 14 months. :)

[Morfiend]

you gotta make up your own rules for what "clean" means to you
you're the one who has to live with it, so fuck folks who say you aren't clean when you know you are
if clean means on subs/done and nothing else, then you're clean
for me, i consider myself clean as long as i don't shoot up or do coke meth or heroin :)

Physical dependence is not the only aspect of addiction and that's what it comes down to. If you are not chasing a high or even really getting high, then in many ways you are "clean" (I'd say most people here would agree). Being a junkie involves having a certain mentality.

Personally I have never been on subs or 'done for any real amount of time and I never plan to. I am petrified of doing any more long term modifications of my brain chemistry...

and btw.. I'm still using... and I really really want to quit. If I can I am going to taper this time... but cold turkey may be my only option. Hopefully one day I'll have a real spot in this thread...

[Duckfeet]

I think that's probably why most people go. A long time ago, the 1st time I went to treatment, back in Louisiana, around 1989,I was all bored, and reading *anything* they had at hand, and there were some federal gov't surveys--I forget who put them out--that said that whatever studies they'd done, showed that people who stopped on their own, had had just as good a chance as those who went to AA/NA or church or any fucking thing...and I never forgot that.

But I go to AA every day, up at the county jail taking a meeting in there, twice a month...trying to get cleared to go over to the prison...I think alcoholism, for me anyway, is way different than heroin/opiate addiction...and I've had to come to terms with that, in ways that probably are totally delusional and wrong, but that keep me rolling...

Why AA? I think it gave me some direction I needed: I was 47 when I finally got sober in AA, and I had nothing left: all the girls and parties and everything was done, and luckily for me, I met some nice people who took an interest in me, and helped put some sort of life together...and yeah, I'd be too much of a hermit without them, and they like me all right and I try to comfort people that are hurting in there...but I never push it: I know how twisted and biased some meetings are, and I never much liked NA, as they see it "all the same," and I'll go to my grave thinking alcoholism and heroin addiction are way different...lotsa similarities...but not the same thing...

Only people--with a couple of exceptions--that know about my struggle with opiates the last few years are my friends on here...people who haven't been down this specific road, haven't got a clue what we go thru...most people about here just know that after seven years sober/clean, I had a paragliding accident, ended up in hospital, and couldn't bodysurf for a couple years...it's not their business...

And methadone probably saved my life, more than anything else, but I hate admitting that...and I'm off it now...and glad of it...but I've been at this too long to ever think "it's over"....we'll see...


Aye Aye.

________________________________________


it also took me FOREVER to figure out what a crock of shit 12 step Anything was (think mostly cause i was forced into it too soon/young)....so i made my own. apparently it's success rate is around 93/94% higher - tho i've yet to be able to convince them of that. until i got on here, every now and then (like once every other year) i'd go to an n/a meeting, out of total loneliness - man was that a fukin bitch slap back to reality.

that's why i'm here....i don't use, but somehow it's still overbearingly significant in my life......something people do not understand........except all of you fine folks ;).

and every evening i say a *prayer* for the junky still stuck in that shite, unable to understand why they can't stop, being told they're to blame cause they're not "trying" hard enough....

don't mean to offend anyone - i do believe whatever works, use it......just, for too many of us, it does nothing but possibly make us worse.

[dharma bum]

I have been on suboxone since April of '08..well over a year. I had a break three different times. Dilaudid, Oxy, AND HEROIN. That's it. Those vacations were one day only.

Right now I take half a suboxone every other day. I figured that would boost my odds for getting off this shit.

[Motown]

I have been on suboxone since April of '08..well over a year. I had a break three different times. Dilaudid, Oxy, AND HEROIN. That's it. Those vacations were one day only.

Right now I take half a suboxone every other day. I figured that would boost my odds for getting off this shit.


How long you been alternating days? How is it working for you? What is your next step?
I am currently tapering down. I feel I could skip days.... I just haven't tried. Sounds like
a good idea.

Dharma.... you trying to get off Subs?

[doctor diesel]

How long you been alternating days? How is it working for you? What is your next step?
I am currently tapering down. I feel I could skip days.... I just haven't tried. Sounds like
a good idea.

Dharma.... you trying to get off Subs?


Sorry to butt in, but I also take the subs only every second day. I have never understood whey they're prescribed on a daily basis, seeing as the half-life is 36 hours, and even after two and a half days I'm not really starting to feel wobbly.

It's grand, cos it means I'm prescribed twice as many pills as I actually need to use. Handy to keep them in store.


Doc

[Motown]

Sorry to butt in, but I also take the subs only every second day. I have never understood whey they're prescribed on a daily basis, seeing as the half-life is 36 hours, and even after two and a half days I'm not really starting to feel wobbly.

It's grand, cos it means I'm prescribed twice as many pills as I actually need to use. Handy to keep them in store.


Doc

Yeah.... physically I know it's possible (to skip days) for me.
It's the mental that tricks me. Thinking I don't feel 100%.

[trainwrecker]

Sorry to butt in, but I also take the subs only every second day. I have never understood whey they're prescribed on a daily basis, seeing as the half-life is 36 hours, and even after two and a half days I'm not really starting to feel wobbly.

It's grand, cos it means I'm prescribed twice as many pills as I actually need to use. Handy to keep them in store.


Doc

Sorry to complete the thread jack here, but I am interested in this.

I take about the equivalent of half a pill every two days(1/4 per day) but I dose in really small amounts usually three times a day. I wish I could get into the every other day swing but I just can't do it.

When I was on MMT I would drink all my carries on carry days and just sweat it out(sometimes three days) until my next dose. With subs I find myself getting really lethargic once the immediate effects wear off so I take another chunk. Usually I take on in the morning, one after lunch and one after dinner... if I am working real late I might take one around 8 or 9 o'clock to get me through until 2 or 3AM.

I have tried to dose every other day but I can't even get through until lunch on the second day.

[drew1503]

Been on MMT since 2001 now, down to 30mg. Down from 90mgs.

[HistoryofMadness]

i am clean-ish... clean most of the time. i do drink a little from time to time, and occasionally chase down a pill or two to chomp on.

i am working on some chronic pain issues, so i do occasionally get a script and do amazingly well to not abuse it believe it or not.

other than that, i'm clean. i mean, its not perfect, but its a far fucking cry from chasing the rabbit every day.

[OrangeLude]

oh my a clean or what thread... I've been busy relaxing at the beach and missed this one entirely.

I am on mmt for about 100 days now. I smoke herb just about every day. I have tried to take an oxy and a couple of vikes on two occasions since I began mmt...

i consider progress to be the most underused word in the recovery game...but for me...the place I'm right now is maintenance and that has to be considerably cleaner than where I've been for the past 3 years...and I love to visit, share & read here at the 'phile.

I have had periods of clean time through rehab & 12 step recovery...many of them. Some as long as 5 or 6 years 'one day at a time'...my weakness was the medicine chest in someone elses house.

[dharma bum]

How long you been alternating days? How is it working for you? What is your next step?
I am currently tapering down. I feel I could skip days.... I just haven't tried. Sounds like
a good idea.

Dharma.... you trying to get off Subs?

Sorry it took so long to respond....

There are some times when I do not skip a day...I'm remodling(sp) my house and if I know it's gonna be a busy day where I have to get a lot of shit done quickly. On those days I need the extra boost. Probably placebo but hey..

Often I will go a full 48 hours before taking it and then take the lowest dose possible. Most the time it's easy as long as I have a couple on me. If I don't have any on me or they are in the pharmacy, I cringe at the first yawn or sneeze.

Taking the suboxone this way makes me not feel so dull and flat and just plain depressed. Or at least it is better. When taking a full 8 mg's a day I have terrible word recall. Places and people and things I've seen a hundred times slip my mind. Just the title or name...i can remember everything else.

Anyway, I do eventually want to get off these but that will be a long way off. This is just a step. I read somewhere that in the clinical drug trials for suboxone they found out it would be OK to dose every other day. But that was 16 mg's.......

[Motown]

Sorry it took so long to respond....

There are some times when I do not skip a day...I'm remodling(sp) my house and if I know it's gonna be a busy day where I have to get a lot of shit done quickly. On those days I need the extra boost. Probably placebo but hey..

Often I will go a full 48 hours before taking it and then take the lowest dose possible. Most the time it's easy as long as I have a couple on me. If I don't have any on me or they are in the pharmacy, I cringe at the first yawn or sneeze.

Taking the suboxone this way makes me not feel so dull and flat and just plain depressed. Or at least it is better. When taking a full 8 mg's a day I have terrible word recall. Places and people and things I've seen a hundred times slip my mind. Just the title or name...i can remember everything else.

Anyway, I do eventually want to get off these but that will be a long way off. This is just a step. I read somewhere that in the clinical drug trials for suboxone they found out it would be OK to dose every other day. But that was 16 mg's.......


Thanks Dharma. I am in the process of starting to skip days and lower my dose.
Ready to be off this shite.... but I'm sure the blocking effect has helped wonders.

[lotus]

I think that's probably why most people go. A long time ago, the 1st time I went to treatment, back in Louisiana, around 1989,I was all bored, and reading *anything* they had at hand, and there were some federal gov't surveys--I forget who put them out--that said that whatever studies they'd done, showed that people who stopped on their own, had had just as good a chance as those who went to AA/NA or church or any fucking thing...and I never forgot that.

But I go to AA every day, up at the county jail taking a meeting in there, twice a month...trying to get cleared to go over to the prison...I think alcoholism, for me anyway, is way different than heroin/opiate addiction...and I've had to come to terms with that, in ways that probably are totally delusional and wrong, but that keep me rolling...

Why AA? I think it gave me some direction I needed: I was 47 when I finally got sober in AA, and I had nothing left: all the girls and parties and everything was done, and luckily for me, I met some nice people who took an interest in me, and helped put some sort of life together...and yeah, I'd be too much of a hermit without them, and they like me all right and I try to comfort people that are hurting in there...but I never push it: I know how twisted and biased some meetings are, and I never much liked NA, as they see it "all the same," and I'll go to my grave thinking alcoholism and heroin addiction are way different...lotsa similarities...but not the same thing...

Only people--with a couple of exceptions--that know about my struggle with opiates the last few years are my friends on here...people who haven't been down this specific road, haven't got a clue what we go thru...most people about here just know that after seven years sober/clean, I had a paragliding accident, ended up in hospital, and couldn't bodysurf for a couple years...it's not their business...

And methadone probably saved my life, more than anything else, but I hate admitting that...and I'm off it now...and glad of it...but I've been at this too long to ever think "it's over"....we'll see...

that 12 step treatment v.s no treatment at all number - cannot recall just where/when i found out, but it was some time ago, and it reinforced my self confidence in the fact i wasn't the crazy one. what i find the most sad is that N-A/A will not give out their exact *recovery rate*, and if it doesn't work for you? it's not because of them (or it). how fantastic is that? a program that is never wrong.....

anywho - i've many problems with it......a thread of it's own.

Alcohol - i've never been a drinker, not unless there was a problem in getting the drugs.
i do, however, have a family full of alcoholics and i do agree with you it's not the same thing.

sometimes i think the legality of it is the reason.....the social acceptableness of it.......society at large being more empathetic to drinkers of any level - maybe i've no friggen clue and it's something different all together or maybe a mix of it all but, drinkers.......you'd think i'd be able to better relate to that half of my extended family - unless i've a drink in my hand, i can't even get the ball rolling.

it's a beast of it's own.....and not in the way meth is different from coke, or heroin to whatever....it has a stratosphere of it's own.

d.f - having a family full of drunks, i can honestly say Hell Yeah for kicking that in the ass~

[kyzmet]

quit cold turkey about 2 years ago. will partake of a pill or bag on occasion (once every few months). no dependance or sickness, though. it's so much better just as a "treat" every now and then. it also gives me the reassuring feeling that the dope is my bitch now, not the other way around.

[HandMeSomeOpiates]

Man its so awesome to come back and see that more of you are clean. Gives me hope man. Gives me a lot of hope...