If you could start all over would you do drugs?

[absentvirtue]

If you had the chance to start life over knowing everything you know now would you have ever used drugs.

I think i would have declined the use of them. I dont mean to say that drugs havn't done a lot of good for me. I have learned a lot about myself and my family through my drug use. Usually these learning experiences were fun at the time. Also, It would have been nice if my parents had told me there was a history of drug use in the family. It is always nice to know that you might have a genetic predisposition to it. My Grandfather was an alcholic (who quit once he was diagnosed with diabetes), my aunt was a heroin addict for 10 years, my mother has just recently become an alcoholc (for good reason; not to get specific, but lets just say someone hurt my sister)

[Coddfish]

That is a loaded question. Would I have tried h? yes. Would I have spent hundreds of thousands on it and trying to get off it? Nope.

In another world, where things are legal and you can go cop your stuff for a reasonable price in a clean environment on lollipop lane from the gingerbread man, my life would look pretty good. Heroin would be a permanent fixture in my life and I wouldn't think a thing of it.

BUT, given all the shite I've had to go through indirectly brought on by an illicit habit.......No, I would never have tried it. I'd be an idiot (well, a bigger one) to say any different.

[devilsdrug]

basiclly , where and when i grew up everybody did dope of one kind or another, the only ones who didnt were the total jesus freaks. even the the half way ones were half baked

[slugbone]

If you had the chance to start life over knowing everything you know now would you have ever used drugs.

I think i would have declined the use of them. I dont mean to say that drugs havn't done a lot of good for me. I have learned a lot about myself and my family through my drug use. Usually these learning experiences were fun at the time. Also, It would have been nice if my parents had told me there was a history of drug use in the family. It is always nice to know that you might have a genetic predisposition to it. My Grandfather was an alcholic (who quit once he was diagnosed with diabetes), my aunt was a heroin addict for 10 years, my mother has just recently become an alcoholc (for good reason; not to get specific, but lets just say someone hurt my sister)
i would for sure, getting high with friends, the sharing of drugs and the high with your close buddies, is one of the most profound things i have ever done. the bond you feel with those that share your love/addiction is hard to describe.

like most, my happiest and saddest times can be tied into my drug use. everything else is not comparable.

[shaunclo]

What the fuck kinda question is this??

Just kidding w/ ya, its actually a good question, but I dont know how to answer it. If I knew then what I know now, like Codd said, I would have to be an idiot to say, Yes Please, may I have another serving of I dont know how many w/d's with a couple break-ups with girls I loved and friends I lost becuase of drugs and its affects?

No I would never want to go thru the depression, the lonliness, the being behind bars, in the back of police cars w/ cuffs, all the money and time I spent looking for the next high instead of using that time to benefit my life. If I knew then what I know now......no I wouldnt want to go thru it all again, but thats not a question you can ask, because if I knew then what I know now, then I wouldve HAD to go thru it to know it.

Drugs are one of the biggest things in my life, EVEN if in the near future I stop alltogether, they will always be a part of my life. If it wasnt drugs it wouldve been something else. Everyone has their vices, just because someone isnt a drug addict doesnt meant they havnt suffered. Poeple get addicted to all kinds of things, for ex: power, money, woman/men, gambling, politics, etc, ect, and everything one of these things can cause as much pain and suffering that drugs can cause.

All I know is that my first drug experience was much better than my first fuck. So almost every one of my good memories has SOMEHTING to w/ drugs. I love eating them, smoking them, cooking up and shooting them, plugging them, buying them, selling them, handling them, touching them (I think you get my point) I love evrything about them, so if it wasnt drugs, it wouldve been something else.

Lemme just say though, I LOVE MY OPIES, AND THEY LOVE ME BACK.

[Opiyum]

twice as many if possible... ....upon further thought I realized this question is a great barometer to tell if the poster is sick or high....so how am I feeling today. Can you tell?

[HistoryofMadness]

What the fuck kinda question is this??

Just kidding w/ ya, its actually a good question, but I dont know how to answer it. If I knew then what I know now, like Codd said, I would have to be an idiot to say, Yes Please, may I have another serving of I dont know how many w/d's with a couple break-ups with girls I loved and friends I lost becuase of drugs and its affects?

No I would never want to go thru the depression, the lonliness, the being behind bars, in the back of police cars w/ cuffs, all the money and time I spent looking for the next high instead of using that time to benefit my life. If I knew then what I know now......no I wouldnt want to go thru it all again, but thats not a question you can ask, because if I knew then what I know now, then I wouldve HAD to go thru it to know it.

Drugs are one of the biggest things in my life, EVEN if in the near future I stop alltogether, they will always be a part of my life. If it wasnt drugs it wouldve been something else. Everyone has their vices, just because someone isnt a drug addict doesnt meant they havnt suffered. Poeple get addicted to all kinds of things, for ex: power, money, woman/men, gambling, politics, etc, ect, and everything one of these things can cause as much pain and suffering that drugs can cause.

All I know is that my first drug experience was much better than my first fuck. So almost every one of my good memories has SOMEHTING to w/ drugs. I love eating them, smoking them, cooking up and shooting them, plugging them, buying them, selling them, handling them, touching them (I think you get my point) I love evrything about them, so if it wasnt drugs, it wouldve been something else.

Lemme just say though, I LOVE MY OPIES, AND THEY LOVE ME BACK.

What he said.

[goagirl23]

If I could do things over, yes I would still choose to do drugs. Psychedelic's have played a huge part in who I am, my beliefs, the way I see the world, etc. I am very thankful for a lot of my experiences with drugs, I have learned a lot and gained much personal growth. As for the opiates, I would definitley choose to do them again, however; I would not make them an everyday habit. I am not thankful for all for the withdrawls, depression, never having money, and all the other wonderful things that go along with a daily opiate habit.

[vanilla_mlkshake2007]

Geez I think Shaunclo answered the question quite well :) .Would I do drugs again Yes I definately would do drugs again but have I put my loved ones through hell. Of course I have but it depended on which drug I was using.Now when I started using first of all it was quite by accident.I was taking a cab home on my 19th b-day and had called a cab and while waiting for the cab I ran into a dealer who invited me over .I didn't kno he was a coke dealer IV user.He did spend alot of time in the bathroom like I do now lol but ayways he just gave me lines and then I caught him shooting and asked him if I could try cuz he was just giving me lines to sniff,well he fixed me up good I didn't return to my family except for off and on for over a year.I also don't blame him at all I coulda said no but I'm glad I didn't cuz now that I'm shooting pills I know what I'm doing(mot of the time),so cocaine caused alot of heartache to my youngest daughter and my mom but Opiates are different.i think knowing what I know now I would still get high but I wouldn't make it a neccessity i my life like it is now.Now I have to use or I get sick.I think I would have just done it occaisonally,but that is only cuz I'm severely addicted.Crack and coke was easy for me to quit.I became pregnant so that helped alot.I didn't want to lose my baby or have her drug addicted.Now opiates crept up on me I started with taking 10 Darvocets every morning and that would last me the day.Damn those were the daysNo IV'g.But then I discovered oxys and I had a friend give me a brand new set of points and its been all over since.I love getting high.I wake up grab my bag of trix as i call them ,go to the bathroom and spend at least a half hour there every morning.Its the ritual the fixing it ,hitting the vein,the blood return,the tie-off and then the incredible rush of morphine high mmmmm mmmmmm good! Of course I would still use but I woulda tried like hell not to become addicted.The key word is "try" and thats a real thin line to know when you are gonna cross the line from using to use and using cuz you have to.Thats it I'm done.I'm gonna be a junky for life and nothing can change that.

[poppy]

twice as many if possible... ....upon further thought I realized this question is a great barometer to tell if the poster is sick or high....so how am I feeling today. Can you tell?


Excellent point Opiyum, veiws of opi's definitely change depending on current drug status. In my experience the majority of people who say they want to give up heroin are at their most vocal regarding giving up (in a positive way, ie. believing they can actually do it) just after they've had a hit! Then when the cold hard light of withdrawel hits them later, they're straight round to their dealer, then they have another hit and the cycle repeats itself. I put myself into this category although lately I have been managing to control my h useof course with the aid of a methadone script.

Back to the purpose of the thread, I voted no in the poll. Heroin has done nothing but destroy my life! I've wasted years now either chasing it, withdrawing from it, and its impact on my personal life has been extreme, I guess if I'm honest it continues to be extreme but touch wood slowly but surely I'll stabilize on the meth and eventually reduce (whoops getting carried away on the post hit rose coloured spectacles view of getting off heroin I was on about earlier,but I have to admit it would be nice to successfully chip............................(I know thats something I'll never be able to do!)

[oc80tn]

My answer is yes I would do it all over again. Why? The only time I have ever felt normal in my life is when I am on opioids. Granted, I first started taking them legally with a doc's script. But does that mean I have never gone and bought them from someone's garage? Obviously, I have. There have been many times when I have been forced to, either through not having enough to control my pain or not having the right medicine. That, and, of course, running out before the next refill.

Only downside to that is the fact that somebody selling them outside a pharmacy is going to bend you over and shove it up your rectum...without lubrication! Around here, it's not uncommon to pay $7.50 for a Norco 10/325 (hydrocodone). Shit, one guy I know once paid a hundred dollars for one stinking 80 milligram OxyContin! Not even I would do that. Fifty dollars is my absolute limit, unless I am just dying from pain or withdrawal or both. The cost of getting dope off the street is the only downside for me. I don't have to do it that often, but when I do, it usually puts a big whole in my wallet.

That said, aside from controlling my pain, opioids have helped me with my anxiety and depression with which I have suffered from for almost 20 years. I am a much more happy, outgoing and sedate person with these drugs. When shitty SSRI's like Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft and Effexor or benzos like Xanax and Ativan failed, Hydrocodone, Oxycodone and others have worked!

And yes, I understand that opioids are potentially physically and psychologically addictive, but I still think they're a lot better for you than all these other mind-altering drugs in the SSRI and MAOI families! And try stopping some of them cold turkey and see what happens. It can be dangerous! Stopping painkillers can be very sickening and unpleasant, but it's usually not life threatening.

Papaver Somniferum has given me a life worth living by controlling my physical and emotional pain. Some may say that it's an escape hatch for dealing with your problems. I don't about anyone else, but I don't dodge my problems when I am taking pain pills. It just allows me to face my stress and other problems a lot more effectively. So how is that any different than taking Paxil for anxiety and depression? If doing one is a sign of weakness and of immoral behaviour, then so are both! I have never hurt anyone using pain medicine.

[satlelitejive]

I think it would depend largly on if I could change my life completely, I am not complaining! I am just saying that for some the chance to escape life for a while is a real treat. I would consider myself one. I do know this; there are things I regret about my life with drugs, but I had alot of fun too! and I don't want to ignore that fact.......Wow this poll has me thinking about the dynamics of exsistance, and how much would have to have been changed in life for me to not have done the dope! It weirds me out to think that I can't see life without. Good poll, good question!

[nikz]

i broke my neck..so..pain killers be came a part of my life
N

[Matty Fats 420]

i broke my neck..so..pain killers be came a part of my life
N

wow i didnt know that you broke your neck nikz, sorry to hear about that. but i guess they keep you all meded up. so that must be nice.

me it all started when i was 15 and fell out of a window and shattered my tibia and fibula and set my ankle out of place. i had to have sergery and had a big metal plate and a bunch of screws in my leg. they gave me a nice script of perc 10s and being so young i didnt know anything about addiction or withdrawl. when i was done with my 6 month ordeal with sergery and casts and all that, i was left with about 40 extra percs. i abused then when i was about 17 and been F'ed up ever since. and yeah im sure i would do it alll over again cuz nothing beats that rush.

The Fats

[nikz]

ah, yes, breaking your neck...glad to be alive..have a C2 nasty problem..too close, way close
to being..can't think about that...
N

[HistoryofMadness]

In my experience the majority of people who say they want to give up heroin are at their most vocal regarding giving up (in a positive way, ie. believing they can actually do it) just after they've had a hit!



LOL so true. As for the question being a good barometer, I'd throw in for folks like me who have some time and space between the most damaging effects of heroin / drugs it may be a little easier to say 'yes' as well. I guess I'm saying not only how immediate you are to doing a hit, but where you are in the so-called cycle.

[superman]

Given a second chance, i would do less E, since i went way overboard both in dose size and frequency. I would have done less acid, perhaps avoiding flashbacks alltogether. i would do way less ketamine, saving myself thousands

[caesee]

wow that is a loaded question for me. Drugs has always been a huge part of life, using and selling them. When I was younger my thought was people were going to buy them from someone, why not me? Its funny when u sell or hook people up how many people are your freinds, and want to be around you for the drugs...and when you deicide to quit selling or get busted , how many people you loose touch with...and then you see whom your real friends are. I have had allot of fun, and suplimented my income, but every good thing has to come to end. For about 10 years my enitre life revolved around drugs, I have lost many firends to death, and jail, and one women I can say I truely loved left me becasue at that time I had a decesion to sell or be with her, and i choose the quick buck...which I have regreted since I made that decesion, and will regret for the rest of my life. I have made allot of mistakes, and lied to the people I love...Lately after many months of thinking, I have came to a point in my life where I think it is about time to take a nice break from evrything but cannibas, and the ocasional dose of acid, and see where that leads....would i start all over with drugs?, yes and no...I would still smoke herb, and use psycadelics, but i doubt i would use anything else, and would not have gotten involved in selling them..Live Fast Die Fun..:rolleyes:

[antigonemuse]

i dont think i had much of a chance... I resisted until I was 17... (kinda) pills were always there due to pain issues (migraines)... I was baggin coke at 6 years old for sales, was around dope, coke, weed, pills since birth.... I resented these things for years... then eventually gave into weed in highschool.

my gateway drug was butabitol, then oxycontin.

Id do it all the same.

not that I am always proud of it, or happy about it. But given my childhood, and genics for migraines...

doctors were my frist dealers...

I am an opiopjile for live

[DaOxyMan]

opiates (drugs) have been the biggest emotional double edged sword in my life...im severely depressed and my only times of true happiness were when i was using everyday like i have been for the past three years, i was using with my ex girrlfriend and love of my life for over 4 years now i think almost 5 it was summer thru fall...everyday was exactly the same..i worked, bought OCs, came home to a cooked dinner..ate, and snorted a 40mg OC with my absolutely gorgeous girlfriend then had incredible sex followed by the most satisfying cigarette of everyday...this routine went on for 3 months, unchanged...all we did was sit in her house, in her room laying on her bed watchin TV nodding and renting movies cuddling (go ahead make fun)..but the safeness and security you feel when high on an opiate and holding the one you love is truly unparalleled..and i would have continued this seemingly 'monotonous' routine for eternity if she hadn't left me...i miss these days with so much,i fiend for them like a drug...even though we were together for over 3 years and she left me for doing Heroin and i still love her with all my heart and shit, those three months of happiness and non argumentive relationship were worth being sick all those times...worth my parents knowing i used to be a junkie..worth going to rehab...and almost worth losing her....i, like many of you here, were simply DESIGNED to do opiates..its simple as that

[shaunclo]

i, like many of you here, were simply DESIGNED to do opiates..its simple as that

I dont think I could have put it better, congrats to DaOxyMan

[shaunclo]

wow that is a loaded question for me. Drugs has always been a huge part of life, using and selling them. When I was younger my thought was people were going to buy them from someone, why not me? Its funny when u sell or hook people up how many people are your freinds, and want to be around you for the drugs...and when you deicide to quit selling or get busted , how many people you loose touch with...and then you see whom your real friends are. I have had allot of fun, and suplimented my income, but every good thing has to come to end. For about 10 years my enitre life revolved around drugs, I have lost many firends to death, and jail, and one women I can say I truely loved left me becasue at that time I had a decesion to sell or be with her, and i choose the quick buck...which I have regreted since I made that decesion, and will regret for the rest of my life. I have made allot of mistakes, and lied to the people I love...Lately after many months of thinking, I have came to a point in my life where I think it is about time to take a nice break from evrything but cannibas, and the ocasional dose of acid, and see where that leads....would i start all over with drugs?, yes and no...I would still smoke herb, and use psycadelics, but i doubt i would use anything else, and would not have gotten involved in selling them..Live Fast Die Fun..:rolleyes:

Well Case, you know whats best for you man, and if you feel that you can just stop doing the opies, I bow-down to you my friend. If you truly have that strength than you are my hero.

I wish I was like that, Oh, Ive had my fun with the opiates, its time to stop........yeah right.

[Rent]

Yes, I LOVE DRUGS!!!! My life isn't the TV version of an addict. I am an Engineer in a medium sized company. I knew I'd need a descent job to support my family and habit, and went to school. I have no intention of ever quitting, I never even tried. Don't get me wrong I've run out, but never quit. I no longer have to cop on the streets, and with my finding the joys of Ptea 5 years ago it's REALLY help cut my dope money in half. No one that I don't want to know knows I use. (Quite a sentence) I've just been a lucky junky..

[Transitive]

trying to imagine what my life would be like without drugs is impossible. i have no idea what i would have done back in my high school years without cannabis, amphetamines, alcohol, ocs, vics, and the occaisonal psychedelic. if i had to guess...id say yes, drugs were a good choice. opiates? another problem with imagining here...what i would be like if i had never experienced that total bliss? that first 20 mg OC many years ago in the end of 9th grade immediately set my path...before that i was smoking pot and drinking a little, and i was quite curious about psychedelics. i had to discover this world that Garcia and Leary had lived in. i ate mushrooms and loved it, and then i had that first oc, and it was over. i certainly didnt care for the world of colors and bizzare thoughts and meaningful self discovery when i could have a world of blissful dreaming and feeling fucking awesome.

[alowishus]

Knowing what I know now I'd do some things different but I'd be doing drugs of some form, and I'd walk a little lighter on the opie's then I did charging in head 1st and uninformed!!:p


But hind sight........

[satori]

You live your live the only way that you can. The choices you have made are exactly what was suposed to happen. Seconding guessing in anyway even if for fun can be counter productive.

[L0VE]

GOOD POST.

But this one is tough. I was really low when I started doing oxys and they made me feel like a different person. Did they fck my life up or did I just do it?! I don't think I'll ever know. But I do know that I was not failing in school before I did them and I didn't slack off at work before them. So if I could go back I don't think I would have done the oxys. I lost a lot but I also gained a lot of knowledge too. I can't take it back but there is no way I would want to relive this experience. The withdrawal and loss of money/friends/life, is enough to make you regret everything. We all have free will to do what we want, we chose to do drugs, they didn't choose to do us.

[kiwistoner]

What the fuck kinda question is this??

Just kidding w/ ya, its actually a good question, but I dont know how to answer it. If I knew then what I know now, like Codd said, I would have to be an idiot to say, Yes Please, may I have another serving of I dont know how many w/d's with a couple break-ups with girls I loved and friends I lost becuase of drugs and its affects?

No I would never want to go thru the depression, the lonliness, the being behind bars, in the back of police cars w/ cuffs, all the money and time I spent looking for the next high instead of using that time to benefit my life. If I knew then what I know now......no I wouldnt want to go thru it all again, but thats not a question you can ask, because if I knew then what I know now, then I wouldve HAD to go thru it to know it.

Drugs are one of the biggest things in my life, EVEN if in the near future I stop alltogether, they will always be a part of my life. If it wasnt drugs it wouldve been something else. Everyone has their vices, just because someone isnt a drug addict doesnt meant they havnt suffered. Poeple get addicted to all kinds of things, for ex: power, money, woman/men, gambling, politics, etc, ect, and everything one of these things can cause as much pain and suffering that drugs can cause.

All I know is that my first drug experience was much better than my first fuck. So almost every one of my good memories has SOMEHTING to w/ drugs. I love eating them, smoking them, cooking up and shooting them, plugging them, buying them, selling them, handling them, touching them (I think you get my point) I love evrything about them, so if it wasnt drugs, it wouldve been something else.

Lemme just say though, I LOVE MY OPIES, AND THEY LOVE ME BACK.

hey thats exactly my life story.....man hav u been following me the whole god damn time??????

[bodangly]

Eminem said it best:
"If I could take it all back now I wouldn't
I would've did more shit that people said that I shouldnt"

[Frontier Psychiatrist]

YES!

Talk about the one thing that helps me keep my patience and sanity with my "fellow race". I'm sure that I have alot of undiagnosed problems, but I've already found the cure.

Like Lou says: "It's my wife, and It's my life"

[The Mayor]

Absolutely. There is nothing nicer then being loaded. The problem is coming down and keeping it going...

[The Mayor]

Except I would be smarter about how I scored and would waste less time and money. I love drugs.... except when I don't have them.

[hero 1]

fedixing your buddy dope to over dose 17 bucks
shittin you pants at the mall while waitng on your connect 65bucks for a new pair
19 times in rehab 375 000 dollars
never gettin dope sick agian priceless
for everthing else mastercard

[Zoop]

Yeah man, I'd do it all over again. My life hasn't been that bad, really. I've lost a couple of jobs, girls I loved (o.k., they were great lays at the very very least, even if I didn't love them). and it's definitely had a negative effect on my marriage, which thankfully, is holding up despite my best efforts to fuck it up! Wife has caught me shooting up red-handed, when I had told her I had quit. That was rich!.

Anyways, yeah, I'd do it again. Bupe has definitely been a God send and I swear by it

peace.

[MIVgezzer]

i would for sure, getting high with friends, the sharing of drugs and the high with your close buddies, is one of the most profound things i have ever done. the bond you feel with those that share your love/addiction is hard to describe.

like most, my happiest and saddest times can be tied into my drug use. everything else is not comparable.


I would still do drugs over again I have been getting high for over 35 years,I thing I might have avoided some situations that getting high or drinking put me in. Drink was my major downfall for way to long and now that I don't drink I don't miss it...
Doing acid and other trips have made me a better person I think, Last week my sons( both of them are over 21) and I had some mushrooms to celabrate freedom and to help my youngest son heal after a three months in jail. I know a trip won't purge all the time lost, and negitivity but it helped... and I was there to stop him from bumming to bad, help him shift gears as it were.
We have great relationships with each other, I did NOT introduce them to drugs but when they were getting high I would party with them. We don't put up the walls that my father and I had, and there is nothing like partying with some one you love unconditionally.
I think I would have not picked up a needle if given the choice to start over though( the boys have seen the damage done and abstain) it has given me as much greif as pleasure....And I have a addictive personality... now I have scripts (ms and dilaudid )to cover my adiction and I don't need to cop dope to often, I am a cronic pain patiant and my MD knows that i was a junky for years and don't hold it against me.

Have a great day
MIV

[skeletontea]

I'd say they've brought me more joy than misery, so yes.

[PsychoSeth]

yes i would. i've quit a lot of the drugs i used to do. in fact, the only thing i do now is Coke. which kinda sucks b/c it's by far the most expensive drug around here. But, alas, i can't find any XTC, and my sig. other doesn't want me doing Diesel any more. Too bad, it was prob my fav and it is cheap here. Anyway, when I was in the military I was a hustler, and one day about a dozen of my friends were in my room smoking and drinking with me. One of them said, "Do you realize, we all became frineds b/c of drugs." My 'user' friends have always been there for me when I needed them, whereas my 'clean' friends have let me down so many times. Drugs help me with my depressive disorder and insomnia, and there are no negative side effects. People say there are, but there aren't. I smoked about 1/8 a day or more, ate more XTC in just one day than I can remember - they say that shit puts holes in your head. Not to mention all the other shit, yet I still have an IQ of 141, which is just below genius. I'm in great physical shape, and I have a great job and good friends. Drugs do more good than bad. I met my lover through a drug deal. So yes, I would do drugs if I had the chance to start over again. I actually would do a lot more drugs. They are good for you. :D

[superman]

"my sig. other doesn't want me doing Diesel any more. Too bad, it was prob my fav and it is cheap here."
are you serious or is that some kind of slang?

"there are no negative side effects"
hmmm, think again. every drug i enjoy has side effects, they just may not be immediatly apparent

Anyways, let me be the first to welcome you to the board psychseth. hope you enjoy your stay :)

[opiobsessed]

Wow if only I could start my life over, I would have given up drinking way before I did and I would have immediately conned my way right onto vicodin for starters way back in 1990 when I was only 19 and developed serious ulcerative colitis, and damn it I can't believe my family never told me that digestive problems ran in my dad's side of family alot. Anyway, I can't beleive I went as long as I did and in so much pain with only lame darvocet for all those years, that was until 94 when I had my first major colon surgery and I discovered a whole new cozy life through morphine and demerol. Only thing I would have not done if I had it to do over again is pop them hydro's like candy and make my tolerance go up so quick. I am now at such a high tolerance after only 3 years use of hydro and some benzo's that I need 7 or 8 10/500 cwe vicodin for any buzz, I"m currently so strung out on suboxone 24mg daily, I barely feel any effect from it anymore, no matter what I try, even insufflating does nothing. But to put it straight forward, I would have started opiates as soon as possible if I had life to do over again, I love em so much and they work so good for me that I just want off sub and get hooked up with some real stuff and get motivated and moving again so I can pay off my huge rehab bill and sub bill before insurance kicked in. If I had it to do over again, I would have gone off sub quickly and just maintained on a reasonable vicodin dose, heck it would have been same price or cheaper than $450 per month I had to pay on sub before I got insurance.

[jonnyweather]

i think i would def do drugs again if i started all over. i may not have gone as hard as i did on some things, but most of my good memories involve drugs. the friends ive made through drug use is countless as well. i think they are good and the expereiences they create are overall good, but obviously my bad junk year and w/d is something i wish i could of avoided, but you gotta pay to play i guess.

[tomalock]

Well to tell the truth I don't know, I can't say what I may or may not have done. True sooner or later I would have had to be on these meds. from time to time but as far as spending the money, heartache it has caused and other problems, well I guess you have your answer. But that is with beforehand knowledge. In all honestly best I could really say is a chance would only tell if you could start all over again.
But it is nice to catch a buzz on the backporch in the afternoons sometimes.<g>
Then some times I like to think it was given to us to partake from time to time, and I very well may have done it the same way?

[Badly Drawn Girl]

Actually I wished I would have tried them sooner. lol I was never into anything that would cause me to lose myself. I only started taking opiates after ten years of dehibilitating pain. My mom used to offer me oxycodone during my flare ups and I'd always turn her down because they made me feel funny. What a dumbass I was!

[l3ozz]

If I could be ignorant about drugs. Would I ? No; I say no only because I've done drugs and If I have seen all the colors and I no longer live in blank in white. Maybe if I could go back in time I would have a different story but, in my present state I could never give up my new found glory. Drugs are why I live and why I get up in the moring. I have found only one other thing that tops drugs and that topic is not fit for this website.cya

[fiiendin]

HELL F-CKING YEAH. Drugs revealed to my mind, body, and whatever else to places I've never been before. It openned up my mind. Sometimes, I wish I had discovered it sooner

[pachick]

my answer would have to be NO. at least not opiates, i mean everyone's smoked some chronic, did a line and gotten puke drunk. but i never got addicte to those things, i wish i knew then what i thru personal experience kno now!

but u kno what my first opiate experience was'nt to have fun it was for a illness.and one morning i woke up addicted and everyone knows how that story goes

but absolutly not , if i could start over i would not indulge in opiates, and that sux cuz damn the first time uforia feels sooooo good

[Tiamat]

basiclly , where and when i grew up everybody did dope of one kind or another, the only ones who didnt were the total jesus freaks. even the the half way ones were half baked

Yes, yes. If they weren't on dope they were drunk off their asses in church on Sunday. How do you not do drugs being raised like that? I regret nothing. You can check out mentally or physically, and checking out mentally some days is the only thing keeping me on planet earth. ("Do you have suicidal ideation?" Only when I'm sober, doc.)

[HandMeSomeOpiates]

What the fuck kinda question is this??

Just kidding w/ ya, its actually a good question, but I dont know how to answer it. If I knew then what I know now, like Codd said, I would have to be an idiot to say, Yes Please, may I have another serving of I dont know how many w/d's with a couple break-ups with girls I loved and friends I lost becuase of drugs and its affects?

No I would never want to go thru the depression, the lonliness, the being behind bars, in the back of police cars w/ cuffs, all the money and time I spent looking for the next high instead of using that time to benefit my life. If I knew then what I know now......no I wouldnt want to go thru it all again, but thats not a question you can ask, because if I knew then what I know now, then I wouldve HAD to go thru it to know it.

Drugs are one of the biggest things in my life, EVEN if in the near future I stop alltogether, they will always be a part of my life. If it wasnt drugs it wouldve been something else. Everyone has their vices, just because someone isnt a drug addict doesnt meant they havnt suffered. Poeple get addicted to all kinds of things, for ex: power, money, woman/men, gambling, politics, etc, ect, and everything one of these things can cause as much pain and suffering that drugs can cause.

All I know is that my first drug experience was much better than my first fuck. So almost every one of my good memories has SOMEHTING to w/ drugs. I love eating them, smoking them, cooking up and shooting them, plugging them, buying them, selling them, handling them, touching them (I think you get my point) I love evrything about them, so if it wasnt drugs, it wouldve been something else.

Lemme just say though, I LOVE MY OPIES, AND THEY LOVE ME BACK.

Co-Signed. Great reply shaunclo!

[blackdog]

first of all great thread!! i can't believe three fucking pages and there all replies from opiophiles that you never here from so hoo-raah good question.
anyhow it is a basic question we all have at some time in our lives. I try to live with no regrets at all.and if i made any mistakes (i have plenty) i hope to let it be a learning experience and not let it happen again.and that go's for anything detrimental to my life,liberty and freedom.god bless the U.S. and all us opiophiles:D
peace da/dawgg

[Magical Pig]

Hold on a sec friends, if I had to live my life over again, would I have to be the same person..?

No but seriously I too believe that I was designed or (pre)destined to take them, and think that most people who do probably never felt 'right' before.

It is true of course that if you take them on a regular basis your brain grows extra 'unconnected' receptors to deal with the excess. These soak up more of the available goodies which means that you got even less than not enough to do the job. This is irreversible.
Oh well in for a penny...:)

On the bright side, those billions of straight control freaks will never even know the meaning of control, without taking the biological trick by the scruff of the neck, and beating it at it's own game. Hold me to ransom would you...

[bronyraur]

IF I had to do it all over again, I'd say yes. I've had more positive experiences related to drugs than bad. From learning life lessons, to friendships to getting to know my family better...hell yeah I'd do it again.

[DaOxyMan]

i changed my mind. i would not abuse opiates..idon't care about other drugs..but i'm still young now, and i don't see myself making it much further as a result of my choices- i take a handful of sleeping pills combined w/ benzos everynight to sleep...i'm constantly fatigued, i'm miserable and weak...and i purposely try to OD on a regular basis...it's not worth it, i don't even want to be alive most of the time

[HeidiW]

Genetically speaking, I don't think I had a chance. My folks are alcoholics, my mom a junky. I started out shooting dope at 16 with my mother. I grew up being taught it was ok; just don't get caught and don't let your habit get the best of you. I started out on methamphetamine/cocaine. Needless to say, that shit brought me a world of hurt.
At 18, I broke my back in a tractor accident. (grew up on a farm in KS.) At this point, I was introduced to opiates. Now at 29, I've been on them ever since. Honestly speaking, I can control my opiate use a hell of a lot better than I can coke or crank. I'm a hell of a lot better of a person on opiates. Opiates at least allow me to function on a basic level. No doubt without them, I wouldn't do nothing but lay in bed. I'm so gratefufl for this site and all people like me out here in this fucked up place we live in. Somehow my methadone and morphine make it all seem not so bad, even if it's just for a little while......

[pointed]

Criminy, what a question. Ouch, ouch, OUCH. What hasn't been said? In my personal wonderland, there would be a shot handy any time I snapped my fingers. Frankly, I only quit being strung out on h (not using altogether) for pragmatic reasons and because I couldn't stand the assault on my pride. (Ya know. You wake up and look in the mirror and think, "You foolish bastard; you have willingly delivered yourself into bondage.") However, years later and maybe a touch wiser, I have rethought the pride thing and come to the conclusion that a choice is a choice. If its voluntary, that gets it a positive point score. Still, the cost is excruciatingly high. But I can't afford to regret it all; I would have to take a gun to my head if I did. And I'm still young; I've got things to do! There are a precious few dope memories that I wouldn't trade even for a chance to do it all again. Yeppers, I'd shake hands with the dope man if I got a second go. Absolutely. But perhaps not quite so enthusiastically and often.

[Mrs. Killer]

[F][/FONT]

This is a question that I have pondered many times - especially in the past year or so, and I can't exactly answer it with a definite "yes" or a "no" - because there are just so many different variables that make it a really tough (but interesting) question!
Sometimes (usually when I'm either in WD, or just feeling particularly low for whatever reason) my answer would have to be "no" - if I had it to do all over again, knowing what I know now - no, I would not use drugs. I find myself looking at young children, or "regular" people with envious eyes - thinking "I wish that I were you....no addiction, no scrambling for money or drugs, just living life as a "normal" person....aah...wouldn't that be wonderful?!" (I am not saying however, that "regular" people don't have their share of troubles of a different kind - I mean, who doesn't? I'm just saying that it would be nice not to have this particular monkey on my back.) And other times I think back to when I was a young child, and get very depressed, thinking to myself - how the hell did I end up this way, and how did I get myself to the point that I'm at right now??? Never in a million years did I ever think that someday I would be a fricking heroin addict, or opiate addict - but alas....here I am! And at times, I look at "regular" people just going about their day, going to and from work, going to the movies, shopping, out for a walk, or on a bike ride, ect... - and I think to myself, gosh....I wish that could be me - I wish that I didn't have to have drugs in my body to make me feel "normal" and just so that I can function like a regular human being....not having to worry about not being able to do ANYthing unless I've got some sort of opiate in my system, otherwise knowing that I'm going to be a useless lump sitting on the couch or laying in the bed - not able to do a fricking thing - such as going out for a walk, or bike ride, ect....I wish that I could just wake up in the morning, not worrying if I'm going to feel like shit that day - or like I said, scrambling for money for drugs so that I CAN feel normal. Those are the reasons why I would say, no - if I had it to do all over again, I would not do drugs.
However, on the other hand - I would also say, "yes" - if I had it to do all over again, I would do drugs, because I love them so damned much, I absolutely LOVE the high and the feeling that they give me and I've had MANY a fun time while on them, and to be completely honest, I can't imagine my life now without them. I guess that I just wish that I hadn't let it get so far out of control, to the point where we DO have to worry on a daily basis about how we're going to come up with money or drugs so that we can feel normal and be able to do things like everyone else in the world. So I guess that my "final answer" on this topic would have to be "yes" - I would do drugs if I had it to do over again - however, if I had the option of knowing what I know now - I wouldn't let it get to the point where it is now - I would try my hardest to only use recreationally, and not on a daily basis so that I would have the best of both worlds, (but I suppose that's easier said than done!) And because of the wonderful high that opiates give you, it's almost impossible to keep it under control and only be a "chipper" - but in an ideal world, that is how I would like my life to be. Since both ZK and I don't really do ANY other drug, we don't drink or go out to the bars, like SO many of our friends do, we don't do blow anymore, we don't really do ANYthing but opiates, so to me - it's like I feel like I deserve SOME sort of relaxation and mind-altering fun at times, and I don't think that I should feel guilty about that - I mean, probably a good 95% of the people in America use some sort of drug or alcohol - it all depends on your drug of choice I guess, and mine just so happens to be opiates! So - to sum it all up - yes, if I had it to do all over again, I would do drugs, but I would try to not let it get so out of control. (but again - in a perfect world, I'm sure that's what ALL of us would say - so I don't know!!)
Anyhow - that's that - my personal opinion on the subject!!! Thanks for listening & I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!!
Mrs. K :p

[HandMeSomeOpiates]

[F][/font]

This is a question that I have pondered many times - especially in the past year or so, and I can't exactly answer it with a definite "yes" or a "no" - because there are just so many different variables that make it a really tough (but interesting) question!
Sometimes (usually when I'm either in WD, or just feeling particularly low for whatever reason) my answer would have to be "no" - if I had it to do all over again, knowing what I know now - no, I would not use drugs. I find myself looking at young children, or "regular" people with envious eyes - thinking "I wish that I were you....no addiction, no scrambling for money or drugs, just living life as a "normal" person....aah...wouldn't that be wonderful?!" (I am not saying however, that "regular" people don't have their share of troubles of a different kind - I mean, who doesn't? I'm just saying that it would be nice not to have this particular monkey on my back.) And other times I think back to when I was a young child, and get very depressed, thinking to myself - how the hell did I end up this way, and how did I get myself to the point that I'm at right now??? Never in a million years did I ever think that someday I would be a fricking heroin addict, or opiate addict - but alas....here I am! And at times, I look at "regular" people just going about their day, going to and from work, going to the movies, shopping, out for a walk, or on a bike ride, ect... - and I think to myself, gosh....I wish that could be me - I wish that I didn't have to have drugs in my body to make me feel "normal" and just so that I can function like a regular human being....not having to worry about not being able to do ANYthing unless I've got some sort of opiate in my system, otherwise knowing that I'm going to be a useless lump sitting on the couch or laying in the bed - not able to do a fricking thing - such as going out for a walk, or bike ride, ect....I wish that I could just wake up in the morning, not worrying if I'm going to feel like shit that day - or like I said, scrambling for money for drugs so that I CAN feel normal. Those are the reasons why I would say, no - if I had it to do all over again, I would not do drugs.
However, on the other hand - I would also say, "yes" - if I had it to do all over again, I would do drugs, because I love them so damned much, I absolutely LOVE the high and the feeling that they give me and I've had MANY a fun time while on them, and to be completely honest, I can't imagine my life now without them. I guess that I just wish that I hadn't let it get so far out of control, to the point where we DO have to worry on a daily basis about how we're going to come up with money or drugs so that we can feel normal and be able to do things like everyone else in the world. So I guess that my "final answer" on this topic would have to be "yes" - I would do drugs if I had it to do over again - however, if I had the option of knowing what I know now - I wouldn't let it get to the point where it is now - I would try my hardest to only use recreational, and not on a daily basis so that I would have the best of both worlds, (but I suppose that's easier said than done!) And because of the wonderful high that opiates give you, it's almost impossible to keep it under control and only be a "chipper" - but in an ideal world, that is how I would like my life to be. Since both ZK and I don't really do ANY other drug, we don't drink or go out to the bars, like SO many of our friends do, we don't do blow anymore, we don't really do ANYthing but opiates, so to me - it's like I feel like I deserve SOME sort of relaxation and mind-altering fun at times, and I don't think that I should feel guilty about that - I mean, probably a good 95% of the people in America use some sort of drug or alcohol - it all depends on your drug of choice I guess, and mine just so happens to be opiates! So - to sum it all up - yes, if I had it to do all over again, I would do drugs, but I would try to not let it get so out of control. (but again - in a perfect world, I'm sure that's what ALL of us would say - so I don't know!!)
Anyhow - that's that - my personal opinion on the subject!!! Thanks for listening & I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!!
Mrs. K :p
Wonderful post Mrs. Killer!!

[CUBErt]

That is a loaded question. Would I have tried h? yes. Would I have spent hundreds of thousands on it and trying to get off it? Nope.

In another world, where things are legal and you can go cop your stuff for a reasonable price in a clean environment on lollipop lane from the gingerbread man, my life would look pretty good. Heroin would be a permanent fixture in my life and I wouldn't think a thing of it.

BUT, given all the shite I've had to go through indirectly brought on by an illicit habit.......No, I would never have tried it. I'd be an idiot (well, a bigger one) to say any different.

Very good resomse. Couldn't have said it better myself. :thumbup:

There are times when I just think "ignorance is bliss," and wish I never had opiates in the first place so I wouldn't even know what I was missing. Too late now tho.

I am definitely glad I discovered psychedelics though. They helped me become even more insightful and just, in touch with the world around me. They are a powerful tool for creativity and the mind.

[junkiebrewster]

I voted "maybe."

Weed and the occasional hallucinogen, yes.

Coke, speed, and X, no. I would not miss them.

Opiates (and it pains me to say this) no. Though I love opiates, it is an unhealthy love. Sometimes I feel like a battered spouse.

[OpieContin]

<scratch, scratch, scratch> Yes, without a doubt. <scratch,scratch,scratch>

[Curio]

<scratch, scratch, scratch> Yes, without a doubt. <scratch,scratch,scratch>

lmao:p

[pointed]

Opiates (and it pains me to say this) no. Though I love opiates, it is an unhealthy love. Sometimes I feel like a battered spouse.

And how. Well spoken, Jb. Being a divorced battered spouse is pretty rough too. What the hell do you do afterwards?

[blackdog]

didn't i know about spellcheck??

[Sitar]

I hate to say it, but all you guys claiming that you would still use but just keep it in check if you could do things over are TOTALLY fooling yourselves there!

If I could go back, I would avoid opiates like the plague. If it was possible to keep things "in check", I would have done it the first time around. The problem is, you can't keep things in check when it comes to addictive drugs. We, as human beings, are absolutely helpless against the infinite power of a chemical. And I'm not talking NA crap here; I'm talking plain science.

Even if you could go back knowing what you know now, you still would wind up getting addicted. Addiction transcends logic, reasoning, and intellect. It doesn't matter what you think about drugs, they'll still win in the end. They change the way your brain functions; there's no beating that or getting around it, in the end.

[RobOC]

Like many of you I have experienced both great and horrible things as a result of my drug use. I would have to be a fuckin idiot to want to go through all the shit again, but I cannot imagine my life without all the positive aspects I have experienced because of drugs. So, my answer is yes, I would do drugs again. I would just do them differently and not build up a monstrous tolerance and feening addiction.

[HistoryofMadness]

I hate to say it, but all you guys claiming that you would still use but just keep it in check if you could do things over are TOTALLY fooling yourselves there!

If I could go back, I would avoid opiates like the plague. If it was possible to keep things "in check", I would have done it the first time around. The problem is, you can't keep things in check when it comes to addictive drugs. We, as human beings, are absolutely helpless against the infinite power of a chemical. And I'm not talking NA crap here; I'm talking plain science.

Even if you could go back knowing what you know now, you still would wind up getting addicted. Addiction transcends logic, reasoning, and intellect. It doesn't matter what you think about drugs, they'll still win in the end. They change the way your brain functions; there's no beating that or getting around it, in the end.

The point isn't that things would be kept in more control, the point is that there are certain lessons that junkies never learn, its in their brain or something...

besides, you would do them again if you knew the benefits, and highs, and I only say that because you could quit them now and avoid them like the plague but you're not are you?

[roland2661]

What I got out of reading this thread, that goes back a couple months, is simply this: We are all the same. That's why we come to this forum. Of course we would do drugs again. It's instant gratification. Nothing earned. I love drugs and that's who I am. Where, when, how and why is different for each of us, but really the same. What answers did you think you would find here? For me it's that impossible lingering feeling of: 'How can I feel good without doing the shite?' For me my times of sobriety have taught me that life is so much more exciting chasing. It's the whole game of it really. I know I would use if I could go back. Even with all the pain and misery.

[Sitar]

HoM, what I was trying to say is that we all think that we could keep things in check if we could do things over, in other words avoid an addiction if we knew then what we know now about the drugs. But we'd be fooling ourselves to believe that. It's just like when someone's clean for a couple years, then decides that they could handle using just once or twice more. They can't, and it'll become a problem again before they know it.

It's a nice idea to think that we could just use carefully and avoid an addiction, but if it was really possible, we addicts wouldn't have become addicts in the first place.

[HistoryofMadness]

HoM, what I was trying to say is that we all think that we could keep things in check if we could do things over, in other words avoid an addiction if we knew then what we know now about the drugs. But we'd be fooling ourselves to believe that. It's just like when someone's clean for a couple years, then decides that they could handle using just once or twice more. They can't, and it'll become a problem again before they know it.

It's a nice idea to think that we could just use carefully and avoid an addiction, but if it was really possible, we addicts wouldn't have become addicts in the first place.

oohh... got it... and you are right. I have done the clean to chipping to using thing again, recently in fact. there is no going back for junkies.

[HandMeSomeOpiates]

I hate to say it, but all you guys claiming that you would still use but just keep it in check if you could do things over are TOTALLY fooling yourselves there!

If I could go back, I would avoid opiates like the plague. If it was possible to keep things "in check", I would have done it the first time around. The problem is, you can't keep things in check when it comes to addictive drugs. We, as human beings, are absolutely helpless against the infinite power of a chemical. And I'm not talking NA crap here; I'm talking plain science.

Even if you could go back knowing what you know now, you still would wind up getting addicted. Addiction transcends logic, reasoning, and intellect. It doesn't matter what you think about drugs, they'll still win in the end. They change the way your brain functions; there's no beating that or getting around it, in the end.

GREAT POST Sitar!!! I totally agree with you brother. Again, Excellent post brother.

[tomalock]

Sorry but it is possible to keep things in check if you can do things in moderation. Reason I say this is because I have been doing it for over 1.5 years now and I was on methadone for close to 10 years straight for chronic pain, but since I have taken my health care into my own hands things have gotten better and I'm not addicted anymore but still have to take morphine from time to time. Other than that I don't need them, but they are nice at times............

[gwest100]

If you had the chance to start life over knowing everything you know now would you have ever used drugs.

I think i would have declined the use of them. I dont mean to say that drugs havn't done a lot of good for me. I have learned a lot about myself and my family through my drug use. Usually these learning experiences were fun at the time. Also, It would have been nice if my parents had told me there was a history of drug use in the family. It is always nice to know that you might have a genetic predisposition to it. My Grandfather was an alcholic (who quit once he was diagnosed with diabetes), my aunt was a heroin addict for 10 years, my mother has just recently become an alcoholc (for good reason; not to get specific, but lets just say someone hurt my sister)
I really had no choice in becoming adicted. I am a 100% Service Connected Totally & Permanently Disabled American Veteran. I have multiple physical wounds along with PTSD resulting from combat situations. I served for 28 years. When I returned home after being fragged in Afghanistan, I was very quickly started on various pain medications. If the VA has it, I have done it. I am currently on 7.5/APAP 500 Hydrocodone, 40mg Methadone and they now tell me they want to try an epidermal shot of Morphine. So at age 47, I find myself in a situation without any other option but to remain on opiates. Life without them is literally not worth living. Although I voted no, like I said; I really had no choice. I wish I could live pain AND opiate free, however; that is not ever going to be a reality for me.

[Babydollangel]

well, I waited along time to respond to this thread but seeing it back up here again I will throw out my answer...when I first saw this question I thought alot about it and really could answer both ways...yes and no.
I lived a pretty sheltered life as a child growing up so as a teen and onward till I got prego and used that as an excuse to run away and get out of my strict household ....I would have to say that whilst It might be stupid to say, I really do wish I had had opportunities to expereience certain situations that my parents, by enforcing their strict ass rules on me pretty much kept me from doing.
I was a good lil girl.... in church everytime the doors were open (hating my parents that i couldnt go out with friends instead sometimes)...i have never even smoked a regular cigarette to this day...not that that is a habit I want to start up now just an example of how extremely strict my upbringing was...so now as an adult in mid 30's I am fascinated with things that I knew all the 'bad kids' were doing back then..lol....or just think about this out of boredom hell im really not sure...:)
anyways to finish the questions, yes Id have done a hellova lot more, perhaps eliminating my wanting to try some of it now (maybe not...might have gotten involved in worse alot sooner but who knows) and Im on the bandwagon about not letting it control my life....I think its inevitable..i mean, if it makes us feel good who wouldnt want more and more often?!?! I really feel like recretional drug usuage is covering up other issues in our lives (ie, depression) of some sort. JMHO.

[The_Highwayman]

My reply is yes, I have battled depression for the past nine years and the only thing that has combated it was the use of opiates, so the money, guilt, and criminal activity that my "addiction" has lead me into is worth to ignore the pain I have known all too well most of my adult life

[blueflutterfly]

i wouldn't change anything. every last thing i'd leave it all as is - it's all added up to who i am now and i wouldn't trade this for anything.

[Opi 1 kenopi]

Hell yeah!! The only thing I would have done different is take only opiates. Alcohol turns me into an aggressive asshole and has cost me family,money, and time in jail. Weed makes me tired, fat and useless while life just passes me by. Coke to me is the biggest ripoff ever, after that first gagger it's over. Opiates on the other hand are a God send. They open up the minds third eye and show us how we are getting fucked eveyday by the government, religious fanatics and the media trying to force their beliefs and so called " normal thinking" down our throats! Opiates bring out the compassion, concern for my spiritual brothers and sisters, and unconditional love I feel for everyone and everything that the government and media try to stifle with their fear factor tactics. Opiates are my connection to God and all His love. I probaly sound like a freak to the masses but it's how I feel. What a happy productive world it would be with legal opiate access in our lives. Peace!!

[Sunwheel]

I was sheltered, too, but I kinda appreciated that upbringing...I got into this stuff late, after my body and brain fully matured. Which is a REALLY good thing, because I've had pothead/meth addict acquaintances in high school who really haven't done anything at all since dropping out or graduating. Sad, really. Be glad you got curious a little later...also, I never got into meth either, which is a good thing (its everywhere here...so prominent that a lot of methheads look down on potheads...kinda funny).

I would do drugs again, knowing what I know (I knew what I was getting into, anyways...which is why I've never gone thru a reckless using phase), they've, especially mushrooms, have really enriched my life. Like you said, tho, you can't use to cover up depression or problems, cause then you admitted defeat. Its good to rise above the mundane world every once in a while...a good psychedelic experience (or opies, for that matter) can make you feel like you just got back from a vacation afterwards...as I've heard many people say.

well, I waited along time to respond to this thread but seeing it back up here again I will throw out my answer...when I first saw this question I thought alot about it and really could answer both ways...yes and no.
I lived a pretty sheltered life as a child growing up so as a teen and onward till I got prego and used that as an excuse to run away and get out of my strict household ....I would have to say that whilst It might be stupid to say, I really do wish I had had opportunities to expereience certain situations that my parents, by enforcing their strict ass rules on me pretty much kept me from doing.
I was a good lil girl.... in church everytime the doors were open (hating my parents that i couldnt go out with friends instead sometimes)...i have never even smoked a regular cigarette to this day...not that that is a habit I want to start up now just an example of how extremely strict my upbringing was...so now as an adult in mid 30's I am fascinated with things that I knew all the 'bad kids' were doing back then..lol....or just think about this out of boredom hell im really not sure...:)
anyways to finish the questions, yes Id have done a hellova lot more, perhaps eliminating my wanting to try some of it now (maybe not...might have gotten involved in worse alot sooner but who knows) and Im on the bandwagon about not letting it control my life....I think its inevitable..i mean, if it makes us feel good who wouldnt want more and more often?!?! I really feel like recretional drug usuage is covering up other issues in our lives (ie, depression) of some sort. JMHO.

[Babydollangel]

I was sheltered, too, but I kinda appreciated that upbringing...I got into this stuff late, after my body and brain fully matured. Which is a REALLY good thing, because I've had pothead/meth addict acquaintances in high school who really haven't done anything at all since dropping out or graduating. Sad, really. Be glad you got curious a little later...also, I never got into meth either, which is a good thing (its everywhere here...so prominent that a lot of methheads look down on potheads...kinda funny).

I would do drugs again, knowing what I know (I knew what I was getting into, anyways...which is why I've never gone thru a reckless using phase), they've, especially mushrooms, have really enriched my life. Like you said, tho, you can't use to cover up depression or problems, cause then you admitted defeat. Its good to rise above the mundane world every once in a while...a good psychedelic experience (or opies, for that matter) can make you feel like you just got back from a vacation afterwards...as I've heard many people say.


Ahhh i see your from Texas...SWIM is from that great state too LMAO !! :D
Yeah I guess Im glad i wasnt into anything so to speak growing up...i was your typical smart honor roll student, graduating from top 1/2 of my class who would never associate with 'those kind of people' back then..lol but looking back on it now is when I say that I wish i had done a little more so as not to be as curious now so to speak or hell it might have just would have made me much worse,...who knows !
Ive heard lots about the psychedelic drugs but never done any of those either...opies are my forever love i guess...but alas, how do you know until ya try? hmmm
Like stated previously I feel depression has alot to do with opiate use (mine anyways) but what is ironic is that I am now starting to FEEL DEPRESSED more and feel the opies may be contributing to it...after my last surgery when I legit got pain meds, the nurse told me to slack down on taking them as they (the pain killers) are or will contribute to depression..weird cuz for me at the time it sure was making me alot more happy.........now i see that they are affecting me differently which is strange and I dont understand it at all...at first i wanted to be happy, energetic, around people, get things done..just an energy boost, now I feel like im tired and want to lay down and be alone ! soooooooooo different than how it was about 9 months ago when all this started.

[Sunwheel]

Do SWIYourself a favor and try some mushrooms... :) The buzz reminds me of opiates...plus, there's the waves of pure joy that go throughout your body, and all the insane patterns and visuals.....really, one of the best things I've ever done...everyone needs to do it at least once!

And I know what you mean about opiates curing boredom/depression, and then after a while you're depressed/bored more often...which is one reason they're so addictive. Basically, what helps, for me anyways, is a change of environment, and a hobby. Plus, realizing that life is okay, you're not meant to feel fucking great ALL the time, etc, etc is good, too. Keeps me from starting TOO big a habit. Plus, school's starting, I'm a junior in college, don't wanna fuck THAT up...anything to keep yourself grounded, y'know?

And I say I started late...not THAT late, I started smoking pot at 19, and I'm 22 now...still plenty of mistakes left to make...! I DO have an exGF that was addicted to morphine...all the all-nighters trying to make her feel a LITTLE better while dopesick kinda scared me away from opiates for years...

EDIT: I detect sarcasm in your TX remark. Well. we'll just have to see what GEORGE BUSH says about that...because, he's a REAL Texan. Yeah. Really. He is.

Ahhh i see your from Texas...SWIM is from that great state too LMAO !! :D
Yeah I guess Im glad i wasnt into anything so to speak growing up...i was your typical smart honor roll student, graduating from top 1/2 of my class who would never associate with 'those kind of people' back then..lol but looking back on it now is when I say that I wish i had done a little more so as not to be as curious now so to speak or hell it might have just would have made me much worse,...who knows !
Ive heard lots about the psychedelic drugs but never done any of those either...opies are my forever love i guess...but alas, how do you know until ya try? hmmm
Like stated previously I feel depression has alot to do with opiate use (mine anyways) but what is ironic is that I am now starting to FEEL DEPRESSED more and feel the opies may be contributing to it...after my last surgery when I legit got pain meds, the nurse told me to slack down on taking them as they (the pain killers) are or will contribute to depression..weird cuz for me at the time it sure was making me alot more happy.........now i see that they are affecting me differently which is strange and I dont understand it at all...at first i wanted to be happy, energetic, around people, get things done..just an energy boost, now I feel like im tired and want to lay down and be alone ! soooooooooo different than how it was about 9 months ago when all this started.

[dolofina]

To answer the question: Yes. Most likely, I would.
I just feel too strange/ almost not-human without some kind of chemical,
(whether it be prescribed or not- OTC or not)-
and it's been like this ever since the early teen years...

[Ragdoll]

This one is a tough question to answer, because to say "no, I wouldn't" I would have had to be born someone else, with a different set of physical and environmental circumstances. So I have to choose "yes", if I'm being realistic.

[greenfox]

Ah, to taste the wine
To sip that sip for the very first time
A lullless banter, a subtle spin
All things come, and will come again

To take that ride, ticket in hand
To have it stop not exactly where planned
But once we're off, we dash for more
Another ticket please, another four

The climb is half the ride, you know
It starts out fast but finishes slow
the rush you feel on that very first time,
ah to take the trip, to drink the wine,....

[flipside]

[quote/Sunwheel


EDIT: I detect sarcasm in your TX remark. Well. we'll just have to see what GEORGE BUSH says about that...because, he's a REAL Texan. Yeah. Really. He is.[/quote]


Yep, somewhere in Texas A village is missing it's idiot,

Sorry could not resist!;)

[Seedy]

I dont think I could have put it better, congrats to DaOxyMan

Congrats to u & oxyman & so many other posts which just mirror how I feel. Drugs have made me who I am today, no doubt. Some (materialistic/straigtt) would call it a waste of half my life so far but I've sure found myself through drugs. I think I've got a better outlook on life than the average toolshed:rolleyes:

[Duckfeet]

If you had the chance to start life over knowing everything you know now would you have ever used drugs.


This question is so weird, almost meaningless, because of who I am, but I keep thinking about it, so all I can think of is one day, a while back.

I was down in Corpus Christi TX, living on a raggedy old sailboat, in the marina downtown there. Cheap deal. I had just been a few years off of everything...clean and sober, as they say. And had saved a bunch of money up in South Dakota, driving a big truck. ... got on Harley Road King I owned, and headed south. Got to Corpus Christi, sold Harley, bought boat, and drank beer and fixed boat up for a few weeks. Got some charts and Pilot guide for Central America. Methadone clinic was downtown too, only a few blocks from my boat slip.

I saw some bimbo coming out of clinic, and went and started shooting the shit with her--I always liked tattooed skanky looking broads w/big tits...and one thing led to another, and next thing I know me and her are back on my boat, doing my first bag in a while, in years.

For some reason I remember that shot. The shot where I knew I was trading in--one more time--probably any chance at whatever drug-free life I could put together. That I'd never sail away to E side of Central America--like I'd hoped--that I'd break Mom's and a few other hearts who had believed in me. That this shot ended all those dreams, really. Of course I can't tell you exactly what the dope felt like, it's been a few years, but I think every long term junky knows that feeling, that no one else understands, of trading every damn thing in on that one shot. Everything. And fixing, and the split second wait, and then the hit, and the overwhelming peace and physical and mental happiness that comes through that shot.


After that, sure, shit fell apart, eventually sold boat, drifted off to Louisiana blah blah blah. And did it again and again, and will do it, again and again.

Nietzsche said we should live as though we would welcome an eternal recurrence of this life. This is probably my 100th go around anyway.

...I know, it's only Rock and Roll, but I like it.

[slugbone]

wow duckfeet....

what a poignant, honest, perceptive post. i read it over a couple of times. it's got everything addicts feel: wistful, a slight tinge of regret - but mostly that cold acceptance of reality and the self awareness that junkies seem to posess.

anyway best post i've read in a long time, man. really got me thinking.

[Substance-P-Inhibition]

People that don't do drugs are just so uptight, and I would never want to be like that. They're fucking nuts.

[Substance-P-Inhibition]

Duckfeet,
That was amazing, it gave me goosebumps because that's how I feel. It definitely made me stop and think that's for sure. And you were right on about every word you said. Except maybe that part about the blonde... But I love this life and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

[Duckfeet]

Well thanks, guys. I mean, I guess what I was trying to say, which you guys caught, is that we have hopes and dreams, and even realize our aspirations once in a while. That I don't spend my evenings thinking about dopehouses, but about good sailboats, and faraway places. But that I'm a real life junky, and that periodically *that* kicks in, and trumps everything. I've had my day in the sun, but I've also lost incrediblbly beautiful joyous things to dope.

Richard Burton was on t.v. a million years ago, talking about his alcoholism, and he said it was like getting in the ring with a boxer than you *knew* was going to beat you, but that you had to keep getting in the ring, and I suppose my addiction to opiates is somewhat like that. I mean, I'm old enough, I can't even conceive of a life without opiates, even though I have gone long(years) off of them, they still always kick back in. That's why the question kind of troubled me, I've never been able to do a "what if" mentally, very good. My life is what it is. I've had such love, and friendships, I've had travel all over the place. I was a commercial diver for Oceaneering, and worked the Gulf of Mexico, and off the coast of Brazil and Argentina. I've sailed around a bit (not far), read a lot of books, built and rode Harleys all over. had fun.

But of course I'm also a lifetime heroin addict, I was convicted of burglary in California for busting into all kind of houses and businesses. Convicted of dilaudid possesion in Louisiana. I've done terrible things to people who cared about me. My mother lost her house to make bail for me, my wife left me, I turned my girl who loved me, and followed me everywhere, into a prostitute. Been to prison, jails all over the south and California.

And getting older didn't seem to give me any wisdom. I mean, I accept and love my life. But it's still a mystery to me. I don't even know why I'm so introspective lately. After seven years off dope, I just went back to it--dilaudids--last June, so I'm still wondering where this latest ride is going to end at.

Thanks for the kind words, fellahs...

[blackdog]

WOW THIS THREAD IS STILL COOKING SINCE JULY!!AND I THINK THIS IS MY 3RD POST ON IT. HENCE ANOTHER BRAIN FART TO SUM UP MY THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER.....
I FIND IT IS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THEN NOT TO HAVE LOVED AT ALL
DAWGG:cool:

[red26]

This question is so weird, almost meaningless, because of who I am, but I keep thinking about it, so all I can think of is one day, a while back.

I was down in Corpus Christi TX, living on a raggedy old sailboat, in the marina downtown there. Cheap deal. I had just been a few years off of everything...clean and sober, as they say. And had saved a bunch of money up in South Dakota, driving a big truck. ... got on Harley Road King I owned, and headed south. Got to Corpus Christi, sold Harley, bought boat, and drank beer and fixed boat up for a few weeks. Got some charts and Pilot guide for Central America. Methadone clinic was downtown too, only a few blocks from my boat slip.

I saw some bimbo coming out of clinic, and went and started shooting the shit with her--I always liked tattooed skanky looking broads w/big tits...and one thing led to another, and next thing I know me and her are back on my boat, doing my first bag in a while, in years.

For some reason I remember that shot. The shot where I knew I was trading in--one more time--probably any chance at whatever drug-free life I could put together. That I'd never sail away to E side of Central America--like I'd hoped--that I'd break Mom's and a few other hearts who had believed in me. That this shot ended all those dreams, really. Of course I can't tell you exactly what the dope felt like, it's been a few years, but I think every long term junky knows that feeling, that no one else understands, of trading every damn thing in on that one shot. Everything. And fixing, and the split second wait, and then the hit, and the overwhelming peace and physical and mental happiness that comes through that shot.


After that, sure, shit fell apart, eventually sold boat, drifted off to Louisiana blah blah blah. And did it again and again, and will do it, again and again.

Nietzsche said we should live as though we would welcome an eternal recurrence of this life. This is probably my 100th go around anyway.

...I know, it's only Rock and Roll, but I like it.

Holy crap did you ever say it there man.

Theres not a whole lot in my life I would change if I could do it all over again and using dope isnt one one those things. Spending about 2 years on acid now thats something I'd change!:(

[Beautifully_Broken]

Ive been pondering this question a lot latley...yes

i'm 21, been to rehab and spent like 9 months clean once, but thats the longest i have managed w/o opiates since i was 14.....i look at my life ahead of me, and all i can see is an exhausting ycle of going overboard and having to kick, then starting it all over again, because opiates are the only thing that make getting out of bed in the morning worth it (besides love...but then i fall in love w/ other opiate addicts usually because i have so much in common w/ them, so that only adds fuel to the fire) they are the only thing ive ever found that made me feel comfortable in my own skin and that keeps me alive. I dont have a fighting spirit, and when things get tough, i'd much rather lay down and give up than fight on through. I dont like pain, emotional or physical, and ive had more already than i would wish on my worst enemey. Sorry to be such a drag, ive just been thinking about this all day and my conclusions arent very promising. but what other options are there?

[AWOL]

^^^ You won't like my answer. But being a weekend warrior is the best of all worlds. I'm sure ZK can attest. The week kinda sucks, but you got something to look forward to and you can still have that opie-bliss. It's tough, but I think it's the best option IMO. Hang in there :)

[nick]

Still no regrets.Je ne regrette rhein.I think anyone who says they wished they hadn't started is too high.I'm clean now and I miss it so bad I can taste it.

[flipside]

Well thanks, guys. I mean, I guess what I was trying to say, which you guys caught, is that we have hopes and dreams, and even realize our aspirations once in a while. That I don't spend my evenings thinking about dopehouses, but about good sailboats, and faraway places. But that I'm a real life junky, and that periodically *that* kicks in, and trumps everything. I've had my day in the sun, but I've also lost incrediblbly beautiful joyous things to dope.

Richard Burton was on t.v. a million years ago, talking about his alcoholism, and he said it was like getting in the ring with a boxer than you *knew* was going to beat you, but that you had to keep getting in the ring, and I suppose my addiction to opiates is somewhat like that. I mean, I'm old enough, I can't even conceive of a life without opiates, even though I have gone long(years) off of them, they still always kick back in. That's why the question kind of troubled me, I've never been able to do a "what if" mentally, very good. My life is what it is. I've had such love, and friendships, I've had travel all over the place. I was a commercial diver for Oceaneering, and worked the Gulf of Mexico, and off the coast of Brazil and Argentina. I've sailed around a bit (not far), read a lot of books, built and rode Harleys all over. had fun.

But of course I'm also a lifetime heroin addict, I was convicted of burglary in California for busting into all kind of houses and businesses. Convicted of dilaudid possesion in Louisiana. I've done terrible things to people who cared about me. My mother lost her house to make bail for me, my wife left me, I turned my girl who loved me, and followed me everywhere, into a prostitute. Been to prison, jails all over the south and California.

And getting older didn't seem to give me any wisdom. I mean, I accept and love my life. But it's still a mystery to me. I don't even know why I'm so introspective lately. After seven years off dope, I just went back to it--dilaudids--last June, so I'm still wondering where this latest ride is going to end at.

Thanks for the kind words, fellahs...


Powerfull words DF, both posts, that one shot where you knew that was the point of no return, Knowing that this was the ONE shot that would seal the deal.

breaking mom's heart,

Hopes and dreams and being a junky trumps it all,

Getting older doesn't seem to have given any wisdom

accepting and loving your life, albeit still a mystery

Given my current situationI too have been very introspective lately, I know where my current ride is going to end, for me it's just a question of when.

[Duckfeet]

Ive been pondering this question a lot latley...yes

i'm 21, been to rehab and spent like 9 months clean once, but thats the longest i have managed w/o opiates since i was 14.....i look at my life ahead of me, and all i can see is an exhausting ycle of going overboard and having to kick, then starting it all over again, because opiates are the only thing that make getting out of bed in the morning worth it (besides love...but then i fall in love w/ other opiate addicts usually because i have so much in common w/ them, so that only adds fuel to the fire) they are the only thing ive ever found that made me feel comfortable in my own skin and that keeps me alive. I dont have a fighting spirit, and when things get tough, i'd much rather lay down and give up than fight on through. I dont like pain, emotional or physical, and ive had more already than i would wish on my worst enemey. Sorry to be such a drag, ive just been thinking about this all day and my conclusions arent very promising. but what other options are there?

Something about this post: so honest and heartfelt. And u know, being a lot older, I so want to tell u the right thing, whatever that is. But mostly I just *identified* with what you were writing. I remember when I was nineteen, and for first time--that I was conscious of--I was kicking heroin. I was in Vietnam, and didn't really understand withdrawals. They let us do *once* a phone call, to the U.S., and I was trying to call my kid sister, because I had never been so sad in my life. And I felt *so* lost, and scared, you know, I was returning to a bad place, and wanted to go home. I didn't know then, but I know now, that that lost, frightened, never-can-go-home feeling, is part of kicking heroin, and so many other times I would know it, in other strange places, but then it was the first time, and I'd never ever been so blue...

I mean, with time, you learn to pretend, but your description above of junky despair and hopelessness hit my old heart. And at times I *have* layed down, and given up the fight: it's just too much to bear, sometimes. And yet, and yet, this is our lives, and we soldier on anyway, best we can, and at times, for short periods, are happy, even. But we pay. And I think that is why the question: "If we could start over, etc...." hit some of us hard. Your conclusions may not be promising, but they have the hard ring of experienced truth, and nobody but another junky could understand so well what you are talking about. I hope that by the time u read this, u are going through a cheerful period--we get those too!--but if it's a dark period still, know that u aren't the only one...good post!

[Badly Drawn Girl]

Your conclusions may not be promising, but they have the hard ring of experienced truth, and nobody but another junky could understand so well what you are talking about. I hope that by the time u read this, u are going through a cheerful period--we get those too!--but if it's a dark period still, know that u aren't the only one...good post!


This is a heavy and deep and real thread to be sure! There is a part of me that wishes I had discovered opiates sooner. I wasted so much of my life in misery, hurting so badly that I wanted to die but shouldering on because I'm a mom. The highs (as in high times, not necesarily feeling high) are so high... I feel glad to be alive. And honestly, I never felt that even as a kid. I've always been fairly melancholy. Opiates bring out a new passion for life that I've never experienced. But the lows, good Lord they are bad. I've found, with more experience, that a lot of it is in my head. I can panic myself into withdrawals quite quickly. If I keep a cool head, focus on other things, convince myself I'm fine, I go into wd's much more slowly. The whole lifestyle is exhausting though. Thinking about pills takes up sooo much of my waking life. Do I have enough? Should I take some more? When will I be out? My calendar is planned around pills. Can't do that because I'll be low on pills. Can't go there because I may need to find more pills.

I'm feeling kinda down today myself. I've used my whole script for the month, and I just got it on Monday. No surprise there but it's still always a shock. Every time I think it will different. But it's not. So now I'm back to waiting by the phone, waiting on someone else to make me feel better. It's a never ending cycle.

[flipside]

^^ Nothing I can say to you but that I totally can relate. I hate it that my daughter comes home excited about some school event or recital she's in, or hell even wants to go to the park and I have base my decision on whether or not I can participate on the fact that I will or will not be medicated.

It is so hard to be Mom and deal with pain and or addiction. My heart goes out to you.. you to BB

[AWOL]

^^ Nothing I can say to you but that I totally can relate. I hate it that my daughter comes home excited about some school event or recital she's in, or hell even wants to go to the park and I have base my decision on whether or not I can participate on the fact that I will or will not be medicated.

It is so hard to be Mom and deal with pain and or addiction. My heart goes out to you.. you to BB

I managed to loose a few friends this way before I got a system together. Friends are much different than family obviously, but yeah. It's tough.

[reddragon3668]

I agree, I don't think I'd change a thing where drugs are concerned. All of it, the good, bad, and ugly, has made me who I am today. Any deviation and I may not be who I am today or have what I have. I value my life and while I don't always have what I want or defintely am not all I want to be, I am allot farther along in the game now then I was years ago. I am better for it all... and thankful as well!

[underide]

Depends what kind of drugs.
I've had some truly magnificent experiences with LSD, Mushrooms, Ecstasy, and i would definitely do them all over again.

Opiates on the other hand, as much as i love them now, i would definitely stay away from.
They are just all-consuming, and their lure is way too powerful for some people to abstain from.
Having said that i still believe that prohibition is very wrong, and if a person choses to devote his life to his own particular 'kicks', so be it.

[zenpunk]

I would have even though I'm in recovery now. Its all about the journey in my opinion. A new phase of my life is starting and I wouldn't have gotten here without drugs. Drugs nearly killed me but they also saved me.

[Nate]

Someone bumped this one up, tis really really old one lol.

[starglazer33]

I would have even though I'm in recovery now. Its all about the journey in my opinion. A new phase of my life is starting and I wouldn't have gotten here without drugs. Drugs nearly killed me but they also saved me.


it is a spiritual thing in the beginning and in the end everything in the middle is fundemental. yes, god yes!Drugs are a kind of majick not good nor bad just is. i would do them all but w/ more caution i hope. to me everything has its place in the planes.

speed is saturn
dope is jupiter
alcohol is mars n earth etcetera

many things in life i would change drugs are not one of them. great thread man..
spirit itself is chemical so says Tim Leary and Mr. Crowley.:o

[Seedy]

Yeah, real old! I forgot it's 2008 now. But a goodie.

[BlueFish]

I think i would definately end up doing a bunch of the drugs ive done, pot, e, psychadellics, etc, but i think i would avoid any opiates.

[sidman]

If somehow it was possible for me to start all over again, knowing what I know now about drugs, I would still get high because I KNOW about drugs !
If I could start over, I would ask that I have the knowledge of drugs erased from my memory.

[dirtdog]

hahaha what seedy said! too bad I missed it :-P

[drug]

thats a sad question... to me now... *phew*... if i knew the answer. now, just right now at this moment i wish i never started the whole drug thing, but i always knew i am the man likely to go use drugs, and so i did... i seeked it, and i got it.
so to the original question- if i could start all over i'd do drugs (meaning Heroin and opiates, as for the most powerful drugs i've done), but i'd wish never face the things that come after ... the philosopher's stone?!!? non addictive dope?!?

*phew*
*phew*
*phew*

[NeverHighEnough]

If I had to start over, I would start way sooner in life. I didnt try H till I was 31 and never had an opiate till I was around 25 - 27. So I missed out I guess, depends how you look at it.

[EleusisII]

^^^^
I know what you mean. On the other hand, I'm glad I got most of school done before I went down that road, and in general set my life up, so to speak.
You see the biggest problems with drug use I think, and this goes for all drugs, when you start too soon. Never finish school or try some real jobs, etc. If you're thirty, and most of your resume is drug-related, it makes everything a bit harder, I think. Not impossible, but harder.

[Saint]

^^^^
I know what you mean. On the other hand, I'm glad I got most of school done before I went down that road, and in general set my life up, so to speak.
You see the biggest problems with drug use I think, and this goes for all drugs, when you start too soon. Never finish school or try some real jobs, etc. If you're thirty, and most of your resume is drug-related, it makes everything a bit harder, I think. Not impossible, but harder.

Yes, so true. I started using H (IV) when I was 15. And although the first years were the best - I was young, looked good, felt great, dope was still gooood - I had to struggle really hard to finish highschool. But I did. I even studied after that. But then I had all kinds of shitty jobs and it wasn't before I was 30 and had switched to methadone (and quit using heroine totally) that I managed to hold a steady job, save some money and leave that pile of debts behind me....

[Ron-Doe]

yes i would, although i think i would stick to chip'n better than i have;)

[IgotThatBoy]

If I could start all over I would. Opiates are the only drug that I have a problem with and they really are holding me back. Yea I love getting high and feeling blissfull apathy, but then again it has caused me a lot of hardships. Just thinking what I would be today right now if i didn't do opiates,well I try to not think about that. Well im not talking about being some millionare or something, but i know i would at least have a nice car, decent amount of money, and set up for college, probably could have found myself a good girl by now.I am 19 though and still young, so I do have the chance to have my whole life ahead of me without this, but its hard and I just cant seem to do it, but I use to be a lot worse and as i look at myself I am slowly progressing. I still have a habit, but its nowhere near how it use to be. Looking at who I am right now, I see myself as a smart young person who would succed in life, but with the drugs it deffianetly isnt gonna happen so im trying to pull myself out and i believe i am slowly. But we all know how it goes when you get totally clean, right fucking back well thats how it is for me.

[limitless_euphoria]

My friend came up with an interesting twist to this very question. He asked, "If our creator (God, whatever you believe in) stood before you and said, "[Your Name], I will restore your health to 100% of what it would be had you never used drugs recreationally but the price for doing so will be that you can never use another drug recreationally or you will die within days or weeks of doing so?"

This, of course, was when we were all high as a kite. I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it some more.

I, of course, have back pain which I can attribute to prior injuries as well as nature (DDD) and stuff... however, had I never damaged my body's endogenous endorphin system would it be better equipped to deal with the pain on its own and would it hardly be where it gets when ti's bad on the pain scale? Good question. I certainly would have more money to show for but who is to say I wouldn't have pissed it away on something else stupid! At least with drugs vs. gambling, as long as you don't get burned with bunk product you "win every time" although after you keep using and using eventually the so-called law of diminishing returns applies.

I'm really on the fence. Had I never used drugs perhaps it would have forced me to be a more creative person and to have thought of real things to pursue with my life as opposed to lulling myself into complacency. Maybe I would have completed my higher education and I'd actually have a career and not be as worried about my financial future. Maybe, maybe, maybe... that's just it.

You know, thinking of the movie Back To The Future (the trilogy) with Christopher Lloyd and Michael J. Fox—by simply altering one event in one's past, that could have catastrophic consequences. What if one night when I stayed home using and I was antisocial—had I gone out I would have been killed in a car crash by a drunk driver? What if I had made other plans with my life and I'd met a different significant other and things had turned out really ugly? What if, what if—you know?

I guess the jury's always going to be out on this one. I suppose I do not regret doing drugs per se; I just wish I'd spent far less time chasing one high after another and actually doing something constructive with my life! Does that make any sense?

[Opiyum]

Makes perfect sense LE. I think about these kinda of things a lot myself. Every time I do I always end up disgusted by how selfish I am though. It's hard not to be but I can't help but think of how much of the pain I experience is self inflicted. So many other people in this world live with much more difficult obstacles to overcome. Obstacles that where put in place years before that person was ever born in most cases. All the pain these people experience is completely out of their control. Imagine how much more difficult that makes it. They can't dwell on one bad, or a series of bad, choices that they made.

[rizzo]

id have to say i would,it made me who iam today,and i like who iam

[Hiram]

I would never want to take back my LSD experiences and they are so much better with nugs. The bonds you make with ppl when you trip together tend to be strong.

I could do without having ever being introduced to coke, opiates, cigarettes or alcohol. The bonds with some of these drugs tends to be more likely to be weak. There's definitely more burned bridges with anything that has to do with money, which comes with expensive habits.

[Nostromos]

Papaver Somniferum has given me a life worth living by controlling my physical and emotional pain. Some may say that it's an escape hatch for dealing with your problems. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't dodge my problems when I am taking pain pills. It just allows me to face my stress and other problems a lot more effectively. So how is that any different than taking Paxil for anxiety and depression? If doing one is a sign of weakness and of immoral behaviour, then so are both! I have never hurt anyone using pain medicine.

word, bro. Every minute, I can feel the burn of mocking eyes on the back of my neck and side of my face. It makes me very angry, but what am I supposed to do? Go on a murderous rampage? I'm not quite evil or bad-ass enough. I accept the pain and difficulties of life, but there's an acid geyser of self-pity in my brain that I haven't yet the body calluses to really control, which makes Nostromos hate Nostromos even more. Opiates, sweet opiates, neutralize that evil fountain so I can concentrate on all the other things this world has to offer, sweet or not.

I fear drugs may have had a cumulative damaging effect, although I've never been a daily user (except for alcohol over a two-year period.) I wouldn't encourage my former self to do drugs because I wouldn't have liked them much anyways. I'd advise myself to face reality in all its naked horror, but I probably wouldn't have listened.

[Poppylvr]

What an excellent question- and the replies are amazing to read. I've just read the entire thread & my head is spinning.
I honestly don't know what my answer is - I voted maybe.
I LOVE the way opiates - almost any opiate makes me feel. But is that feeling worth the prices I've had to pay? The pain I have caused my children, my sister, my parents is bitter, terrible stuff. I lost my home, my job, my soul, and very nearly lost my children and my profession when I was arrested in 1998. I would much rather have spent the money I used for rehabs on cruises. And life is awfully bleak on those cold February Sunday afternoons when you're kicking for the thousandth time, and your ass is sore from the diarrhea and you haven't slept since your last hit, and your legs won't quit jerking and you can't stop puking and your nose is running.......
But that feeling. That wonderful life is good, I am good floaty opiate feeling. Nothing else in my life makes me feel as good as opiates. And the rush when I shot up...you all know. I don't have the words for the rush.
I believe in a Higher Power and that that HP is involved in my life. Given that, I have to think that there must be a reason why opiates are so important to me still. I doubt I'll ever know or understand that reason.
I think I wish I had never tasted that first bit of smack nearly 40 years ago - puking my guts out and thinking this is the best fucking drug I have ever done and I cannot do it ever again or I will be lost. Thank God for me I have never done heroin again, but pharmacuetical opiates have kicked my ass just like I knew heroin would.
Dreamtime: Legal heroin, addiction not condemned, we who love opiates can have all we want with clean rigs and pretty places in which to do our drugs. Never to see the sad disappointment or terror in our childrens eyes. To be free to drift off whenever we need to....

[Sudafedhead]

lsd, definitely. it changed my entire perception of life, gave me alot of insight. reefer, yes but i wouldve toned it down a bit after high school. theres nothing like the first few times you trip or get stoned. as for hard drugs, no way. i believe all drugs should be decriminalized and that adults should be allowed to take responsibility for their own choices instead of big brother government treating us like children who need to be protected from ourselves. that said, for me personally i wouldve stuck to the soft drugs. nothing really tragic ever came as a result of using ganja, shrooms etc..

[God_Albino]

i'd give anything to think clear again, but the hell that comes with drugs changed me into a much better person i was before, albeit a much dumber person.

[hydro chris]

i would not do drugs. i think?

[SHELLEY]

no regrets, i take nothing back
if i had a chance to start over, i'da probably done even more drugs

[skeezerjohns22]

if i had it to do over, i probably wouldn't have got involved in the opiate/opiod game until a little later in life. I think since i got involved at such a young age (14/15 yrs. old) it may have fucked my brain up a bit. But no doubt about it, i would still do opiates.

[Leave it ta Beaver]

I wish I could start all over, Ive said it numerous times before!!

I pretty much let drugs ruin my life. Allmost 30 w/ nothing to show for, have no real life, pretty much just existing!

So I voted yes, Drugs have gave me nothing but a false sense of euphoria wich never last's & basically made me a misfit/black sheep of the family, have no real friends, but still I run back to drugs (there basically my only friend) All the hell It has brought me it's crazy that I come back to 'em!!!!

I've been using some sortta drug since 14 & do not know what "normal" is anymore, never been clean long enough!!!

I've also have said I wish I listened to all those who warned me growing up!! Allway's wondered what if???????????:(

[The_Highwayman]

I don't know if I psted on this thread already but I want to have some input, and I apologize if I contradict any previous post to the thread...

I would say yes, only because I could and would drive myself crazy playing the What if? game...yeah I lost a lot in my addiction, but in my recovery I gained a lot, and FOR ME herin was a choice that seemd the lesser of two evils at the time and I choose it, so I don't know what I would have done otherwise...going through what I did I hope made me a better person...

Also, as I am clean, I do my best to stay from smack and even thoughts of it as it creeps into my head but if I never touched it I may have found other solutions to my pain, that would have costME more...

[HandMeSomeOpiates]

I would just smoke weed, opiates rob you of too many things.

[Maintenance Man]

If I could go back I would probably still have smoked weed, but I never would have done acid - acid flung me into the depths of opioid addiction. I would have killed myself otherwise; I suffered over a year of LSD psychosis with psychotic tendencies/OCD related to acid to this day - none of this even slightly apparent before that trip to Hell - and heroin saved me from myself after that acid. The LSD single-handedly fucked my life up. I was fine with just weed and the occasional drink or percocet before that - maybe once or twice a month, if that, but daily weed. After the acid, all weed does is give me panic and flashbacks. .

If I would have never done the LSD, I would have never got addicted to opiates. I found the rush magnificent, but more I liked the escape from myself. If I had never done the LSD, I never would have found the need. If I could do it again, I would have sought therapy for drug-induced PTSD and hopefully got some benzos and never been in this mess.. I would never have felt the need to pick up an all-absorbing addiction if not for that fucking acid, but who knows, I might have picked up a habit further along the line for other reasons altogether.

I as well have never accumulated more than three days' straight clean time since I was 14 years old, whether it be weed, alcohol, coke, heroin, suboxone, or benzos. I can't cope with life without a chemical to do it for me; it's why I sought out weed in the first place..

In summum: if I could go back, I would NEVER have tried that fucking acid trash. I feel that this would have averted the opiate habit as well.

[underide]

If I could go back I would probably still have smoked weed, but I never would have done acid - acid flung me into the depths of opioid addiction. I would have killed myself otherwise; I suffered over a year of LSD psychosis with psychotic tendencies/OCD related to acid to this day - none of this even slightly apparent before that trip to Hell - and heroin saved me from myself after that acid. The LSD single-handedly fucked my life up. I was fine with just weed and the occasional drink or percocet before that - maybe once or twice a month, if that, but daily weed. After the acid, all weed does is give me panic and flashbacks. .

If I would have never done the LSD, I would have never got addicted to opiates. .

Those statements of yours ^^^ that i have put in 'bold', i honestly don't know how you can say that
I'm no psychologist, but if i were to take a guess i would say that you simply blame a lot of bad shit in your life, if not ALL of the bad shit in your life on LSD.

Sure, maybe LSD messed you up a bit, but honestly I really don't think LSD is the problem at all
I think the problem is that you're simply unable to just MOVE ON and forget about it and use the LSD/psychedelics argument as a cause for everything bad that has ever happened to you since
Seeing a Psychiatrist might really help you, man.

We all have problems, and i'm sure most of us here have far worse problems that we're either still facing or have faced in the past
But reading post after post of your anti-psychedelic crusade, i think that it's simply convenient for you to blame all of your life's problems on that bad experience you had with LSD.

Sure, it's easy to say - "Oh, LSD messed me up, that's why i started taking opiates and that's why i got addicted and still am addicted to them"
But to me it sounds like a complete cop-out...a lot of horseshit, basically

And to be honest with you, i have used similar excuses like that in the past too, (and probably still do, even if i'm not intending to) to justify my addiction to opiates - oh, i was dealing with a crippling depression, my folks split up when i was young, etc..etc...
But i realize now that while all of the above things might have contributed to my emotional state, the simple fact is - I JUST LOVE DOPE. it's as simple as that. To blame it on a bad experience with LSD - that's just utter nonsense in my opinion
And i'm willing to bet that is the case with you too - you're making up excuses for something that has happened a long time ago
To blame it on a bad experience with LSD - that's just utter nonsense in my opinion

Seek help, do some soul-searching, pick up a hobbie (other than dope)
And please, do yourself (and the board) a big favor and move on already


(and please don't take it as me trying to be a dick to you - i just think that i know where you're coming from and you cannot look past one simple fact and just MOVE ON)

[nodrover]

If I could go back I would probably still have smoked weed, but I never would have done acid - acid flung me into the depths of opioid addiction. I would have killed myself otherwise; I suffered over a year of LSD psychosis with psychotic tendencies/OCD related to acid to this day - none of this even slightly apparent before that trip to Hell - and heroin saved me from myself after that acid. The LSD single-handedly fucked my life up. I was fine with just weed and the occasional drink or percocet before that - maybe once or twice a month, if that, but daily weed. After the acid, all weed does is give me panic and flashbacks. .

If I would have never done the LSD, I would have never got addicted to opiates. I found the rush magnificent, but more I liked the escape from myself. If I had never done the LSD, I never would have found the need. If I could do it again, I would have sought therapy for drug-induced PTSD and hopefully got some benzos and never been in this mess.. I would never have felt the need to pick up an all-absorbing addiction if not for that fucking acid, but who knows, I might have picked up a habit further along the line for other reasons altogether.

I as well have never accumulated more than three days' straight clean time since I was 14 years old, whether it be weed, alcohol, coke, heroin, suboxone, or benzos. I can't cope with life without a chemical to do it for me; it's why I sought out weed in the first place..

In summum: if I could go back, I would NEVER have tried that fucking acid trash. I feel that this would have averted the opiate habit as well.
I don't understand MM; I thought hatred of marijuana was your life blood + passion. Now you say that if you could go back in time, you still would of used it? .........Am I missing something?

[SHELLEY]

it's just about something to blame for his miserable excuse for a human existance
doesn't really matter what, or how many times he goes back and forth
as long as it's not his fault and his misery is blamed on outside influences, he's good

hey, anyone have an example of a thread that MM has posted in
where he doesn't piss and moan about how terrible acid and weed are?
any of em? is it even possible?
is there anything else in his life to even speak of besides things that ruined his "life"?

[jo-jo]

I would do drugs...I'd just start when I was younger. ;)

[Narkotikon]

If I could go back, start life over, and keep the knowledge I have now, then yes. Probably. I'd just not do some of the things I did, and pretty much stick with opiates. I wouldn't have tried other things though.

If I had to loose the knowledge I have, and just go back completely naive, then no, I probably wouldn't do it again.

[Dan Steely]

I had a ton of fun with acid x and beer for 20+ years. I'm glad I didn't get into the opi's till later in life. I think I would have missed out on a lot if I had started when I was young.

[Eric5989]

I'd like to say I wouldn't, but I know me better than that. At least i'd avoid the times i've gotten ripped off

[nuts4roxies]

i would still do drugs but not start as young i let drugs become a huge part of my life at 11 and they still have a strong grip i would also learn self control before i started again

[30_Units]

hindsight's always 20-20, but I'd probably do it exactly the same. Maybe try and give more of a fuck when it came to driving fucked up, but that's pretty much my only regret.

[Suboxstitute]

No, I wouldn't. It wasn't worth it. I thought it was but I was wrong. For me.

I started a lot later than many . . . . probably most of you. It cost me, indirectly, a really well-paying job where I felt I was making a significant contribution to my employees and to my family (but I had begun to hate it, so that loss may be a silver lining in some ways - still a huge loss financially and self-respect wise, though).

Almost cost my marriage. And now, I've just got the "bored on bupe blues".


So.
No.

and this is not a judgement on anyone else's decisions!



Sue

[AnitaFix]

I think I would still inevitably try drugs & probably get hooked again.

It's kind of my personality & all the borderline symptoms that come with it.

I like the package they shipped me in personally, but the nuerochemistry at factory preset?

Dont think so sir. I would wait until I moved out to start using rather then at 18-19, you know
finish college etc,. not be such a burden on everyone like ma folks. thats the biggest regret.
ODing 3+ times? oh no, no biggie..

[losangeleslifer]

I definatley would not have takin that first hit of crack at 16. Wasted too many years and to much money on that shit.

Everything else was an experience.

[Oakleyskier]

i absolutely would fucking not.

[underide]

If only.....
Obviously everything is always clearer in hindsight

But anyway - would I ??

Given the chance i'd probably just stick to mudwrestling =/
Oh, and living vicariously through others as well as smoking weed "without inhaling"


(totally O.T. - but one midleaged junky told me today that you can die through injecting an air-bubble under your skin (i.e not intravenously)

[The Paregoric Man]

I absolutely would, in fact if I could go back and change anything I'd get on opiates earlier. It would have avoided the wasted years on depression and the waste of psychiatrists and SSRIs and anti-psychotics(ugggh!) When I think about how much farther I could have been with opiates it makes me sad, and the years I wasted worrying about addiction.

[Dan Steely]

I had a blast trippin many times over the years, usually at shows. Ton o fun. Coulda done w/o the weed I guess(makes me dumb). Never liked coke fortunately.

Opi's are a pain in the ass but they're the perfect drug for an older guy to chill with. I think I would have missed out on a lot if I got into them younger though.

Beer was fun young and it went great with the trips. Doesn't do a thing for me since I started w/the opis.

[OxyBlowBall2]

yeah i'd probably still do drugs. i think i could probably go without staying up for four days on speed in high school and all the coke binges and probably would have have just not used as much but yeah i'd still do them. i'd just be a little bit smarter about how i used them and would avoid the benzo/alcohol blackouts where i hooked up with co-workers younger sisters and whatnot. they sure did make my life a whole lot more interesting.

[More Feen]

Yes.

M F

[squareone]

Fuck no!! If I could do it all over, I would be a scholar.

[wisegal]

^ dude, you are so young that you CAN do it over.

So can I, and so can any other person on this board.

[jcmanny]

No. Fuck no.

[HydroApe]

I certainly would have curtailed the MJ and Alcohol in College a bit more.
As for the Poppy I don't know If I'd have a choice.
I haven't read all the replies here and this has probably been said:
If burdened with the same pain issues I'd probably do it all over again.
I need pain relief, and I don't think I'd ever have the ability to separate correct/responsible use from addiction when in comes to Opiates.

[squareone]

^ dude, you are so young that you CAN do it over.

So can I, and so can any other person on this board.
lol... " do it all over" even though I'm only 18. your right. Its hard to stop because I know the feeling. But if I had the chance to turn back the time, I would turn it down.

[duck]

I truly don't think I would.

I am a really passionate person at my core, I was born with an inherent drive to search and explore and learn. I may not be the most extroverted person, but I have always been diligent and truly fascinated with the world.

Opiates have all but destroyed this in me.