If someone finds out, how do you wish they'd react

[pookiebunny]

If you are using but are trying to keep it a secret, and someone who cares about you starts to figure it out, which scenario would you wish for?
1. They play along and never mention it?
2. They get it out in the open so you can stop covering, but they don't bug you about it? Like, "OK, I'm no dummy and I see what's going on. I may not love it, but hey it's your life. Let's get together soon!"
3. They offer to help you stop (even if you don't plan to accept the help, it's nice to know they care)
4. They get all pushy and bossy and really, really, REALLY fight to clean you up.
Hope I posted this in the right spot, I'm new!

[nick]

I'd go for option 5,I'd like them to put me up in a penthouse with all the dope I can handle or they can mind their own god damn business.

Oh and opio has a poll option you can use.

[Brony]

I'd go with option #2.

welcome to Opiophile, pookie.

[hovadagod]

I would hope that they become worried and offer to send me on some resort-style detox vacation. (#3)

[norseman]

Hi Pookie, welcome to Opiophile. I have found that most people are either a #1 or a #3. But I gotta say I pick Nicks answer, either give me all the dope I can stand or stay outta my business. haha

[Poppylvr]

Welcome to Opiophile, Pookie.
I would have wished for option #2, but when my friend Bud, who was the narcotics pharmacist figured it out, he turned me into the police (as in option 4+).
A year or so later I was able to thank him for saving my life, as I had gotten to desperate point, shooting up at least 4 x day just to stay "well", and I wanted God to kill me off so I wouldn't have to break my no suicide pledge to my Sis.

[duck]

In all my years of foruming, being a member and a moderator, this is the #1 red flag for a troll....starting a poll looking for general data for some other end they have...

Create an intro thread and add some info to your profile...

[Uncle Wiggly]

In all my years of foruming, being a member and a moderator, this is the #1 red flag for a troll....starting a poll looking for general data for some other end they have...

Create an intro thread and add some info to your profile...

My thoughts exactly. OP - post an intro.

[pookiebunny]

Oh! I didn't mean to be a troll. (Didn't even know what one was!) Sorry!! The end I'm going for is to find out how to NOT blow it when somebody comes back from the dead, so to speak, and reaches out to family. I'm sorry if I'm doing it wrong, or asking it in the wrong place.

The specifics are that my relative moved away and was barely in touch, almost in hiding, for a long time. She came back! I didn't know until I finally saw her again why she was avoiding everyone, but her appearance leaves little doubt. She's not talking about the drugs. Well, not quite... she's "joking" about drugs, but in a testing the waters way, like to see the reactions. I panicked and chose not to react at all, just to smile and welcome her home and pretend nothing had changed and please pass the salad.

I'm completely out of my element here, and I really don't have any idea of what I'm supposed to do with this, but I just really, really don't want her to go away again.

This all happened yesterday, and I cried and googled all night, and this is where i found myself.

I appreciate the replies, everyone.

[Uncle Wiggly]

Support and lots of love.

[Poppylvr]

Support and lots of love.
Ditto.

[pookiebunny]

OK, I think I fixed my profile now, too.

[InfectedMushroom]

I'm always leery about new people who start off asking too many questions. Now I know none of us have to respond but it just gives off bad vibes to me.

[Somanax]

I'd go for option 5,I'd like them to put me up in a penthouse with all the dope I can handle or they can mind their own god damn business.

Oh and opio has a poll option you can use.



I'm with Nick

gimme all ya got

or go fuck yourself

gently running backwards

down the stairs with a chainsaw

[Raz]

Dont panic.....Roll a joint, calm down and get tings in da right perspective.....

Oh yeah, get prepared for tings to go missin, if ya come home one day and ze TV and dvd is missin,Again dont panic , just go to da local pawn shop,it'll be there for sure...

I'm off to read ya profile...BUT if ya stick around dere is some wise ol sages here and ya might just get da help your lookin for....Or at least pointed in ze right direction....

Maybe the first ting to do where your relative is concerned, why dont you ask them if theres anything they wanna talk about?.....Might be a good place to start....

[OxiContinKing]

I would go with a mix between nicks answer and option number 2.

All the dope i need, and lets get together soon

Welcome to the site man.

[superman]

option 1 or 2 is fine by me. i do nothing that would make a person doubt my values, so that i use opies should be of little significance.

and if they know i use, and don't understand it, well then all i say is that the happy healthy 'me' you know wouldn't be possible without opies, because i'm naturally very unhappy and unhealthy...

if they truly care, they will eventually understand.. unless they're unable to accept that the stereotypes could be just that.... stereotypes...

all of my family that has found out has come around completely. my best friend found out that i shoot a while ago, he still thinks i have a 'problem' (that is, addiction). but i have no doubt, that in due time he will come around and realize that i should be on opies :)

[EleusisII]

In my imagination, the conversation would go something like this...
"Hooked on opiates, eh Eleusis? Well damn. Is it true that you junkies always need cash? Cause here some so you can get nice and high, or whatever you guys call it. Hey, I guess this might come in handy! My doctor recently prescribed me all the oxycontin pills, but I don't like them, and don't want to hurt my doctors feelings. Thank god that you can help me out! Hey, I really appreciate your hnesty... How bout a hooker to celebrate our friendship and honesty? My treat!"

I've actually had this happen to me, friends finding out, and even though the reactions were all over the place, most of them were pretty positive.

[pookiebunny]

In my imagination, the conversation would go something like this...
"Hooked on opiates, eh Eleusis? Well damn. Is it true that you junkies always need cash? Cause here some so you can get nice and high, or whatever you guys call it. Hey, I guess this might come in handy! My doctor recently prescribed me all the oxycontin pills, but I don't like them, and don't want to hurt my doctors feelings. Thank god that you can help me out! Hey, I really appreciate your hnesty... How bout a hooker to celebrate our friendship and honesty? My treat!"

I've actually had this happen to me, friends finding out, and even though the reactions were all over the place, most of them were pretty positive.

LOL!!! I wonder if she'd like a hooker....


I'm always leery about new people who start off asking too many questions. Now I know none of us have to respond but it just gives off bad vibes to me.

Point taken. I'm sorry. I have belonged to message boards before with much less sensitive topics (parenting, diets LOL), and even on those boards I would get a little resentful and suspicious if someone dropped in without an intro (although I thought it was called a parachuter, never heard troll before!).

I really do apologize and I don't want to invade anyone's space. I know this isn't exactly where I belong. Even though you surely don't owe me advice or a reply or anything else, I hope you can understand my panic and dismay and realize I didn't mean any disrespect... two days ago, none of this was part of my world, not at all, not even on my radar! And then one day ago, WHAM! It's a lot to swallow, and using my manners wasn't at the top of my list. I just wanted to stop hyperventilating and get some small understanding of where she might be coming from as fast as I could so as not to accidentally blow it and scare her off again. I can't think of a soul IRL that I could talk to about this without setting off a whole big drama and sending her running. She JUST got here!

You're right. I made a rude and untrustworthy entrance. I'm sorry.

[Brony]

<snip>
You're right. I made a rude and untrustworthy entrance. I'm sorry.

No need to apologize.

You weren't rude at all. It's just that we tend to be suspicious of newcomers. Once we get to know you a bit, you're family.

I hope you don't feel unwelcome, that's not what we want.

[Raz]

Maybe we should cut da chica some slack....

Its pretty obvious dis aint her world and she;s just tryin to handle a pile a shit thats dropped in her lap..

Welcome to da phile chica...

[God_Albino]

unless they're a user or ex-user of some kind (or someone with compassion and real life experience), freaking out seems like the only option, unless theyre timid and scared to piss you off.

if its heroin or iv use, i dont know too many lighter drug users who would 'be cool' with it; only 3 friends of mine know i iv, and one just said, 'i dont wanna know, whatever', not angry or judgemental.

i got to remind myself im overly de-sensitized to this shit, and most everyone else is really oversensitized to 'hard' drugs.

its taken one friend months of seeing literally dozens of used needles and swaps and spoons on my bed, and one day her grabbed a syringe, looked real worried and ask 'WHAT'S THIS FOR?!". i explained it made snorting easier, and he believed me for awhile, i think hes catching on tho.

[Duckfeet]

It's a tough call: if you are close to someone who doesn't use dope, and they care about you, they are usually just concerned...unfortunately, "civilians" usually buy into the whole "you've got a serious illness and need to go to treatment" government indoctrination, and that can be obnoxious...

I used to let the see me fix early on, so we could just get it out of the way...I think I came of age, tho, when girls kind of liked the whole self-destructive outlaw thing, and it never really seemed to my relationships in negative ways...

Now I *personally* fucked up the lives of lots of people around me, because, in all seriousness, a full-blown junky usually does that, and I did...but that's different: the people usually gave me lots of slack, and figured it was something to do w/Vietnam or something...

Best of luck, tho: not always easy...

[existential_apathy]

I'd go for options 1 or 2. I'd imagine that if anyone found out that they would be so full of propaganda that they'd make the situation a lot worse. I limit my opiate habit so as to rule out any path toward addiction. I give myself absolutely no exceptions to the rule. No "special treats" whatsoever. Other than addiction, a weekend of opiate use is a safe way to enjoy the weekend. It won't result in the organ damage or even the hangover that a night of heavy drinking would do. So a person freaking out over a weekend on opiates while a night of heavy drinking would get an OK seems a bit of a double standard. 3 or 4 would be hard though. It'd be evident that the person cared about me, but the person would also be misguided (unless you actually really do have an opium problem).

[pinn3d]

I pick number two...... don't play dumb when you know what I'm up to..... but don't be so harsh on me that you don't even let me explain myself..... that would be my ideal response.....

[Pollen]

I would pick 2 as well. There's no reason to beat around the bush, and covering it up only implies that you think there's something wrong with it. Mentioning it but not making a big deal out of it shows that you know they do it but also know it's their choice to make.