Never use store microwave to warm clean urine

[roxi*stardust]

This is an old story, from 2006 but I found it rather amusing. It happened near Pittsburgh. Apparently, a women was using a fake penis filled with her boyfriend's clean urine to use to pass a drug test for a new job, believe they call them whizzanators. On the way to the test she decided it was not warm enough so they stpped at a local store and the man asked the clerk to microwave something for him. He wrapped it in paper towels and the clerk put it in the microwave. I guess after smelling something funny the clerk opened the microwave and discovered what she thought was a severed penis. The couple turned themselves in after hearing about police investigating a man cooking a severed penis in the microwave at s GetGo! Store! LMFAO!
Link:
http://www.wpxi.com/news/7402304/detail.html
http://www.google.com/#/m/search?source=gp&uipref=6&channel=gp1&q=pittsburgh+news+urine+microwave+giant+eagle&ct=revision&oi=spell&sa=X&cd=1&resnum=1

[EleusisII]

LOL!LOL!LOL!

Imagine the poor horrified store clerk!

[duck]

LMAO. That is fucking great.

[skabbo]

Hahahah.. Man, imagine the reaction of someone who believed they had encountered a severed penis in the first place.. Ok, now imagine that they were just asked to microwave it, wrapped in paper towels.. I would've paid for hidden camera footage of that discovery. :D

[taj]

Thanks Roxi, that was really funny

that sucks that it said in the article that they were being charged w/ something...they just didn't know what yet. I wonder what happened. so dumb

[JonnyMohawk]

"Police said they plan to charge the man and woman criminally, although the exact charges haven't been determined."


Bullshit. I don't think they did anything that they can technically be charged for. I'm sure the damn cops are racking their brains though.

[roxi*stardust]

If you Google it you can find more articles. I believe they were charged with some bullshit like criminal mischief or disorderly conduct. All these blogs had people commenting, saying why would the woman be using a fake penis? Well hello you dumb fucks, she was "storing" the fake penis in a body cavity? What the fuck, I'm sure it was a good choice as far as comfort goes! If you are going to stick something up there, I'm guessing a penis would be more confortable than anything else. I guess unless you have faced the terrible invasion of privacy that drug tests are when you are a user you don't understand.

[Restharrow]

If you Google it you can find more articles. I believe they were charged with some bullshit like criminal mischief or disorderly conduct. All these blogs had people commenting, saying why would the woman be using a fake penis? Well hello you dumb fucks, she was "storing" the fake penis in a body cavity? What the fuck, I'm sure it was a good choice as far as comfort goes! If you are going to stick something up there, I'm guessing a penis would be more confortable than anything else. I guess unless you have faced the terrible invasion of privacy that drug tests are when you are a user you don't understand.
I'm glad you cleared up the "storing" because I was wondering WTF would she take a fake Willie to a drug test for.

I THINK I read / heard that the inventor or the "Whizanator" was arrested for some type conspiracy to defraud drug testing companies. I Googled it and its still available for sale.

Will

[dharma bum]

Fuckin' hilarious. What a prize it would be to see the clerk's face. I bet he thought he was dealing with some loonies. "Here microwave this for me, please." ...unpleasant smell....."ohhh gawd!!! it's a severed cock!!!"

What's sad is I can relate a similar story. There was a temp agency that needed your urine after all the paper work but they did the drug testing next door. I had a friend's pee in an empty perc 10 bottle I heated up in a convenience store on the way and of course there were two cops at the counter...oh the microwave was self use. I thought everyone in that store was glaring at me but I just acted like I was heating my morning biscuit and all turned out fine. No ???? asked.

Edit: Yeah what are they gonna charge 'em with? Oh, I forgot, here locally they charged a man with identity theft for going in a school were his wifey worked and scooping out a little pee. Fucking identity theft. Crazy but true.