Bupe Blues

[On_The_Nod]

I am so sick and tired of this bupe maintenance bullshit. I really want my life back, and i thought i would get it back by switching to subs in the first place. But no. All it is, is a trap. It takes forever to taper succesfully, and in my opinion, the withdrawals are just as bad as coming off of oxycodone. Honestly, i just dont know what to do anymore and feel as if im gonna be stuck on these things forever. The fact that im not even legally prescribed and buy them off a few friends doesnt help either. When they run out i just switch back to my DOC, oxycodone. That is in fact what i had to do today, and will have to continue to do for the next few days with no source of income and not a dollar to my name until friday. I did manage to scrape up enough money together to get by today, but am already anxious about the morning and the rest of tomorrow. Any advice fellow opi's? I know I'm not the only one in this situation or a similar one..

[runormal]

sorry to hear it, we've all been there and it sucks. how much bupe do you normally take to get by on?

[On_The_Nod]

Thanks for the quick reply man. Well usually i take between 2-4 mgs a day. When im doing oxy I do about a roxi 30 a day, and thats just barely enough. A comfortable day would be 60 mgs, and thats not getting high or anything, just a decent day. So i dont have the extent of a habit that most on here do, but a habit is a habit nonetheless and any w/ds suck. Its just been really getting to me lately because i feel its stopping me from doing what i really want to do with my life.

[runormal]

yeah a habit is habit, that is for sure. i would first try a slower taper. is it your cravings that get you back on the roxis or is it running out of subs? i know for me, when i was switching between bupe and OCs, that my cravings never went away until i had been on subs only for at least 2 months. then slowly the carvings started to go away.

if it is running out of subs that is the problem, i would wait until i had enough stock piled to do the taper, even if that means using oxy for a while longer. at least then when you do start your taper you will know you will have enough subs to see the taper thru until the end. if you run out and you're still on 1mg of bupe you'll prob be doing roxis the next day.

[duck]

I did the same thing. Went from oxys to bupe. Around Christmas, I finally ended my bupe taper, and am feeling much much better now, sleep and stomach are still a little messed up, but manageable.

Now that I am off, I would never, never go back to subs again. I realize how subtle they are, and how harmful they are. They were so hard to quit, so much harder then the oxys. The half-life of those thing is their curse, it took so long for it to get out of my system, it was hard to actually quit. I will never go back back to subs.

[On_The_Nod]

Well i like to stay on the subs for financial reasons and the fact that 9/10 times i can always get them for about 5$ per 8. But yes cravings do hit me almost every friday and into the weekend. I think thats because friday was always my "nod" day when i first started using and had the money to get that nod. The longest ive gone without slipping up and using has been 21 days, and im sure i could have made it longer but it was my 18th birthday and that was my excuse to go and get high. A taper does seem like the best option but im just such an anxious person as it is, I almost use the subs to self medicate my anxiety it seems like. They do not get me high at all but keep my social anxiety at bay the majority of the times and without them, even when im not in withdrawing im a nervous wreck. Im just in a rut and want to get off everything completely, but am fearful of being sober i guess.

[On_The_Nod]

Yeah duck i agree with you on the subtle part and am happy to hear that atleast someone was able to get off these fuckin' things. They are terrible for my body and they seem like such a miracle at first but after a while you realize they just plain out suck, and the withdrawal is no joke. You imagine it to be a breeze when you first get on them, since your used to the horrible oxy withdrawals, but they are just as bad and 3 times as long. Damn what a vicious cycle we have all gotten ourselves into...

[runormal]

ut yes cravings do hit me almost every friday and into the weekend. I think thats because friday was always my "nod" day when i first started using and had the money to get that nod.

same thing for me, only it is with football. i was never really into football until the first year i was doing OCs and suddenly melting into the couch watching 3 games every sunday became the best thing on earth. this year i couldn't make it through the first game. i got all stressed and couldn't get comfortable - even though i'd used the couch every other day - the combo of subs and football made me crave like crazy. now on sundays i do little bumps every hour - so even though i don't feel anything i at least have some structure.

[Duckfeet]

I never could kick bupe...but I did find that maintenance down at lower levels--1/2 to 2mg, was about right...but I didn't like them...same as methadone to me:constipation, all that...but anyway, I didn't have much luck with them, and did find out they were more addictive than I thought, or had hears...

But it's a lot like methadone, where some people do really well on them, so I can't make blanket statements...to me they were mostly false promise (I thought I could get off methadone easier w/bupe)...and I ended up going back on methadone eventually, and successfully detoxing off of that, so far, a couple months anyway...

I'd read up all the stickys and stuff, and I find that--like w/most opiate stuff--I had to finally get honest w/myself and what my chances were, u know, of being reasonably happy in this world...for me that means sober, I guess, and when that sucks, short-acting opiates are the only way for me...both maintenance drugs put me in a sort of hellish purgatory I hope not to go back to...

Ah well, best wishes to you...

[jonny-5]

i dont wanna get caught in this. ive been taking subs on and off since march, and i would take them for a couple months then do dope for a couple months, and back to subs and so on.... so far ive been on them for five days, and so i want to just make it a 7 day dope detox, so i dont get the sub wds, but then part of me says well i been on either heroin or subs since march, and then before that i had been on heroin since may of 07. my last clean time completley off opiates was sept 06 - may 07 so im thinking im in for a nasty wd no matter how i look at it, even if i had been doing only dope for 3 months before this 5 day so far detox. im hoping my thinking is skewed and that ill be able to stop taking subs with minimal discomfort...but also i know myself well enough to know that im damn sure not gonna be able to stop taking them when i have 20 subutex right here.

ah well, this thread is definitely titled correctly.

[On_The_Nod]

Yes jonny i agree with you 100%- you will be in for a nasy wd. It seems the subs just act as a blanket for those 5 days and when you take that blanket off, your freezing cold all over again, if you get what im saying. And yeah it is definetly gonna be hard to stop taking the subs in withdrawal when you have some right in front of you. Im not known to have willpower at all but thats just like chinese water torture.

Duckfeet, thanks for the reply man. Its nice to hear from a veteran of this site, and also of our country. Yes the subs were definetly false promises. I had heard the detox was painless and they were " miracle drugs ", and all that before actually getting on them, and completely agreed with everyone when i first got on them. I think they call that the "honeymoon phase". But anyway, I also agree with you on the fact that nothing in the world beats short acting opiates. So many less complications, such a quicker detox (yet more painful, i guess), and such a better feeling. They are however too expensive for me to stay on since i have to buy them from the street, and subs are really just my only option right now. Even though i hate the fuckers with a passion. Anyway i will talk to you guys later and once again thanks for the replies.

[On_The_Nod]

same thing for me, only it is with football. i was never really into football until the first year i was doing OCs and suddenly melting into the couch watching 3 games every sunday became the best thing on earth. this year i couldn't make it through the first game. i got all stressed and couldn't get comfortable - even though i'd used the couch every other day - the combo of subs and football made me crave like crazy. now on sundays i do little bumps every hour - so even though i don't feel anything i at least have some structure.

Im glad im not the only one who has a wierd thing like this going on.

[oxy kid]

I've been on Bupe for over a year...I want to get off them but I don't know how I'm going to do it. I started out at 32mgs a day (yeah I know, ridiculous) now I can manage on 2-4mgs a day. It almost seems easier to get back on Oxys and then kick them....but then i'd never want to get off the oxys. I wish I was one of those guys who got 90 OC 80s a month and then 90 perk 10s on a top of it...thatd be nice.

[StinkyPickle]

SNIP: I wish I was one of those guys who got 90 OC 80s a month and then 90 perk 10s on a top of it...thatd be nice.

Amen.

[Kristy85]

Yeah, I hated subs too! Saying that though, I'm on the methadone now and I hate that even more! It's a loose, loose situation!

[Seedy]

I think it's what you make of it - i've been on subs since about september and I'm a hell of a lot happier than i was before i got on them. i have more motivation, more $$$ and i'm not tired all the time. sure there's the problem of getting off some time but you get that with 'done too of course. Remember, it's a maintenence drug. and a damn good one for me. i know if i was on 'done i'd be waking up early every morning feeling shitty, i'd be tired all the time, trying to get high on top (well i do with subs anyway), risking my life with huge ammounts of CNS depressants. I know a lot of people are whineing about subs these days but fuck, you can't have your cake and eat it.

[jonny-5]

I think it's what you make of it - i've been on subs since about september and I'm a hell of a lot happier than i was before i got on them. i have more motivation, more $$$ and i'm not tired all the time. sure there's the problem of getting off some time but you get that with 'done too of course. Remember, it's a maintenence drug. and a damn good one for me. i know if i was on 'done i'd be waking up early every morning feeling shitty, i'd be tired all the time, trying to get high on top (well i do with subs anyway), risking my life with huge ammounts of CNS depressants. I know a lot of people are whineing about subs these days but fuck, you can't have your cake and eat it.


yeah man for some people they work great. they do diminish my cravings i just wish there was a little more to them...well the "buzz" that is. if there was some kind of high i would be happy, thats the type of maintenence i need but its just too much to ask for in this society.

[On_The_Nod]

yeah man for some people they work great. they do diminish my cravings i just wish there was a little more to them...well the "buzz" that is. if there was some kind of high i would be happy, thats the type of maintenence i need but its just too much to ask for in this society.
Yeah for sure man. I guess thats why im not liking them as much either. I dunno though i dont really crave while im on them, at least the majority of the time. Right now though its back to me scraping together some money to get a roxi or half an 80 and that is one thing i do not like about this shit at all, and kinda wish i had a nice full 8mg suboxone in my possesion.

[limitless_euphoria]

Yeah duck i agree with you on the subtle part and am happy to hear that atleast someone was able to get off these fuckin' things. They are terrible for my body and they seem like such a miracle at first but after a while you realize they just plain out suck, and the withdrawal is no joke. You imagine it to be a breeze when you first get on them, since your used to the horrible oxy withdrawals, but they are just as bad and 3 times as long. Damn what a vicious cycle we have all gotten ourselves into...

Hey OTN, I get your dilemma... and bupe personally for me has done wonders--but I know it's not everyone's thing. Some people *HATE* that shit. For others, it does next to anything!

What is your ultimate goal? Do you want to be opiate free forever? Do you just want to chip now and again? 2-4 mg of bupe is not a ginormous habit or anything. My answer kind of depends on your answer--or are you not even sure what you want exactly? I've been there before...wanting myself to wanna quit but not truly wanting to stop. I'd always resolve to quit but money didn't used to be a problem. Now that I'm working for my money it's funny how the thought of spending it on opies disgusts me--even though now and again I JONES for that noddy floating-on-air indestructible warm fuzzy glow! /JONES

[Duckfeet]

Methadone, to me, was "the devil I know," while bupe just had too much weird unexpected shit happening...and actually cost more, for me...

Methadone I knew what to expect, knew what the 'honeymoon' period would be like, and knew what happened at higher doses...and also, knew, that I had successfully detoxed off it once before--and stayed off dope for seven years...so at least I had hopes on methadone...bupe I kept getting unpleasantly surprised, and still had cravings...so, my attitude is that people have to check it out...but bupe there isn't a lot of consistent info...but some do well on it...

Yeah, I hated subs too! Saying that though, I'm on the methadone now and I hate that even more! It's a loose, loose situation!

[On_The_Nod]

Hey OTN, I get your dilemma... and bupe personally for me has done wonders--but I know it's not everyone's thing. Some people *HATE* that shit. For others, it does next to anything!

What is your ultimate goal? Do you want to be opiate free forever? Do you just want to chip now and again? 2-4 mg of bupe is not a ginormous habit or anything. My answer kind of depends on your answer--or are you not even sure what you want exactly? I've been there before...wanting myself to wanna quit but not truly wanting to stop. I'd always resolve to quit but money didn't used to be a problem. Now that I'm working for my money it's funny how the thought of spending it on opies disgusts me--even though now and again I JONES for that noddy floating-on-air indestructible warm fuzzy glow! /JONES

Well LE im not really sure exactly what i want. The best scenario would definetly be to not have a habit and chip here and there. Because if i think i could kick succesfully i could do it, considering im staying on the bupe on a normal week 5-6 out of 7 days (not lately however). And yes i work for my money sometimes and i hate spending it on oxys as well. I always try and scheme to get them lower or have someone throw down and pay more. I just feel at a crossroads here, and the directions are 1. To kick and chip and hope i dont get back into a habit 2. Not to kick, and continue this unhappy cycle. And yes i do crave the nod more then anything, and luckily i acheived that nod last night. For about 5 hours i was in pure bliss and i totally forgot about wanting to quit or any of my other problems (like the hole i burned in my new 80$ jacket). I just dunno what to do man...

[limitless_euphoria]

Well LE im not really sure exactly what i want. The best scenario would definetly be to not have a habit and chip here and there. Because if i think i could kick succesfully i could do it, considering im staying on the bupe on a normal week 5-6 out of 7 days (not lately however). And yes i work for my money sometimes and i hate spending it on oxys as well. I always try and scheme to get them lower or have someone throw down and pay more. I just feel at a crossroads here, and the directions are 1. To kick and chip and hope i dont get back into a habit 2. Not to kick, and continue this unhappy cycle. And yes i do crave the nod more then anything, and luckily i acheived that nod last night. For about 5 hours i was in pure bliss and i totally forgot about wanting to quit or any of my other problems (like the hole i burned in my new 80$ jacket). I just dunno what to do man...

Welp, it's not easy but where there's a will there's a way. I think you're headed in the right direction. Self-control is never easy tho. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

[On_The_Nod]

Will definetly keep you guys updated and thanks man. Encouragement helps, especially these days. I am having a good night however. Just got an 80 and a few 20s for a damn good deal around here. Only one of the 20s was mine, but hell 100 mgs is a good amount for me to be feelin pretty good tonight and have a little morning toot. On another note im getting suboxone tomorrow, and im actually excited to get back on those and get my shit back together. I may feel differently after a few days on it but for now im tired of the day to day struggle. Have a good night everyone, hope everyones well and not kicking on this fine friday night..