littlemissbliss
12-31-2008, 06:37 PM
Since I am new here, (and since I've changed my mind and decided to stay in this NYE), I thought I'd take a minute to post how I wound up on Subs. (I'm currently on 8mg, but one my New Years resolutions is to taper waaaaay down. I should have never gotten up this high, but anyway....)
Starting around my mid 20's, (I'm late 30's now), I began to get excruciating migraines, although it was a while before I really even realized that's what they were. I don't have them much anymore, (thank God), but they always start the same - a weird stabbing, throbbing senstation at the place where my skull meets my neck, either on the left, or right side, never both at the same time. If it was a bad one, the pain would continue to travel up one side of my head, settling in behind one or the other eye socket. The worst ones involved lots of laying on the floor in a bad, puking, not being able to move for 10 hours, you know the drill....
Certain things trigger them, particularly alcohol and hormone swings. Because of this, I don't drink much. In college, I did lots of X in the rave scene, and some blow, but no smoking (of any kind) and like I said, moderate drinking.
I moved to the ATL at the end of 1999, and needed to find a cheap place to live, fast. My dad found this lady in her 50's, who needed to rent out a room in her nice condo. She'd been divorced several times, and was on disability from working as a flight attendant, many years. She had all kind of health issues, fibro, chronic fatige, CP in general, etc, as well as some pretty serious mental issues. When she wasn't on one of her crazy moodswings, we got along well. As we got to know each other, she saw that I had some pretty serious pain issues, (although I didn't take opies regularly at this point). Over time, she would occasionally share her meds. She was on Oxy. Remember, this was the early 00's, when doc were still prescribing it like candy for CP patients). I usually just took Tramadols.
I moved out eventually, but continued to be on Tramadols (by my MD's rx). As often happens, use turned to abuse, and I became addicted, and turned to OL spots for my meds. This eventually spiralled out of control of course. I stayed friends with the older lady, and she would supplement my meds with hydros, and a few Oxys, when she knew I was in bad shape. She had an elderly mother who had her own scripts too, for hip issues.
To try and wrap this up w/out going on and on, I had kicked Trams a few times, but after a particularly bad breakup, it just got out of control, and I had to look into what my options were. This was late 2005. I eventually found out about Bupe, and after changing docs once or twice, (I had trouble finding a doc that would do maintenance for a bit), I settled into being a Bupe patient. Unfortunately, the former roommate/landlord wound up passing away last year. Very sadly, she committed suicide by overdose. I don't in any blame her for my becoming an addict, if she hadn't supplied me, I'm sure I would have eventually found some other "options". Anyhow, like I said at the start, now I am just trying to get back down from having climbed up to 8mg., becasue of the lethargy and constipation, primarily. I'm tired of feeling groggy and bloated! If anyone else is trying to taper their dose too, please let me know and maybe we can support each other.
Starting around my mid 20's, (I'm late 30's now), I began to get excruciating migraines, although it was a while before I really even realized that's what they were. I don't have them much anymore, (thank God), but they always start the same - a weird stabbing, throbbing senstation at the place where my skull meets my neck, either on the left, or right side, never both at the same time. If it was a bad one, the pain would continue to travel up one side of my head, settling in behind one or the other eye socket. The worst ones involved lots of laying on the floor in a bad, puking, not being able to move for 10 hours, you know the drill....
Certain things trigger them, particularly alcohol and hormone swings. Because of this, I don't drink much. In college, I did lots of X in the rave scene, and some blow, but no smoking (of any kind) and like I said, moderate drinking.
I moved to the ATL at the end of 1999, and needed to find a cheap place to live, fast. My dad found this lady in her 50's, who needed to rent out a room in her nice condo. She'd been divorced several times, and was on disability from working as a flight attendant, many years. She had all kind of health issues, fibro, chronic fatige, CP in general, etc, as well as some pretty serious mental issues. When she wasn't on one of her crazy moodswings, we got along well. As we got to know each other, she saw that I had some pretty serious pain issues, (although I didn't take opies regularly at this point). Over time, she would occasionally share her meds. She was on Oxy. Remember, this was the early 00's, when doc were still prescribing it like candy for CP patients). I usually just took Tramadols.
I moved out eventually, but continued to be on Tramadols (by my MD's rx). As often happens, use turned to abuse, and I became addicted, and turned to OL spots for my meds. This eventually spiralled out of control of course. I stayed friends with the older lady, and she would supplement my meds with hydros, and a few Oxys, when she knew I was in bad shape. She had an elderly mother who had her own scripts too, for hip issues.
To try and wrap this up w/out going on and on, I had kicked Trams a few times, but after a particularly bad breakup, it just got out of control, and I had to look into what my options were. This was late 2005. I eventually found out about Bupe, and after changing docs once or twice, (I had trouble finding a doc that would do maintenance for a bit), I settled into being a Bupe patient. Unfortunately, the former roommate/landlord wound up passing away last year. Very sadly, she committed suicide by overdose. I don't in any blame her for my becoming an addict, if she hadn't supplied me, I'm sure I would have eventually found some other "options". Anyhow, like I said at the start, now I am just trying to get back down from having climbed up to 8mg., becasue of the lethargy and constipation, primarily. I'm tired of feeling groggy and bloated! If anyone else is trying to taper their dose too, please let me know and maybe we can support each other.