Didnt drink yesterday...

[Raz]

Yeah i made it through yesterday without having a beer....The first day under my belt....

My stomach is a little fizzy, i know the worse is yet to come, coz ze booze aint even really started to come outta me yet....I know the sweats and the ruff nights are gonna come down on me, probably tonight..:o......Anyone got any tips on what to take, otc meds or something, that will just ease the fizzing in my gut.....I can handle the sweating and no sleep, but the fizzing just fuckin bugs me man!!

So i would be grateful if anyone has any info on what i could take that will help....Thanks...
.As i type this, the symptons are starting to appear...So bring it on and lets just fuckin get it done!!
(talking to myself there) Or goin nuts.....

[Duckfeet]

It never took me that long to get off alcohol, Raz...usually a few days of a little anxiety, and stomach problems, all that...but nothing like kicking smack...so all I'd suggest is lots of fluids, u know, juice or something, and maybe softer foods, and you'll be fine...it gets better, just takes a bit of time...

Yeah i made it through yesterday without having a beer....The first day under my belt....

My stomach is a little fizzy, i know the worse is yet to come, coz ze booze aint even really started to come outta me yet....I know the sweats and the ruff nights are gonna come down on me, probably tonight..:o......Anyone got any tips on what to take, otc meds or something, that will just ease the fizzing in my gut.....I can handle the sweating and no sleep, but the fizzing just fuckin bugs me man!!

So i would be grateful if anyone has any info on what i could take that will help....Thanks...
.As i type this, the symptons are starting to appear...So bring it on and lets just fuckin get it done!!
(talking to myself there) Or goin nuts.....

[Raz]

^^^^ Thanks bro.....I done this b4, so i kinda know what to expect....Maybe i am expecting things to be worse this time...Coz i did go a bit further in the abusing booze this time....

I guess the main headway i,ve made is actually admitting i,ve got a problem and asking for advice...
And between you an nick, i couldnt be in a better place.....Or a more degenerate one...;):D

Seriously though man, fanks, just fanks.....

[kellyblue]

YEA RAZ!!!!! See? I told you you could do it... one day at a time man- that's all you can do.

And- if you drink today? So what? You didn't drink yesterday, and that's one day better than you've been doing.

When my ex was in the joint, he'd been clean about 4 years, and out of nowhere he really started acting stupid. I won't go into it, but let's just say, a wife knows when something's up. I knew immediately that he was using again. Hell- he'd just been given 16 flat- I'd be using too. Anyway- he tried to hide it from me for about a month, before he finally came clean to me- convinced I'd leave him. Here's what I told him...

"So- you fell off the wagon. Big deal. You can either lay in the road and let that wagon run over you, or you can get back in the drivers seat and move forward." Thankfully- he chose to drive. Been clean ever since... over 14 years now.

So- again. You did great yesterday. If you don't do so great today or tomorrow... get back on the wagon and keep going.

You can do this!

(Sorry so long...)

~K~

[jab]

Good luck Raz and stick to it.. you'll be glad you did when it's over!

BTW, OTC stuff to help with acohol w/d.. Nyquil. Don't take more than a normal dose, but it may help w/ sleep.. or benedryl.

[Tea Time]

I know to some people, going one day without having a drink isn't really that big of a deal...but that couldn't be further from the truth. The first day is always going to be the hardest. Like you said, the toughest part is actually admitting that your drinking has gotten out of control and deciding that you need to do something about it. One down, probably three or four more tough days to go.

Just stick with it man. Like DF said, make sure you stay hydrated. Being dehydrated will make you feel much worse. As for any OTC remedies, I am not sure that there is anything OTC that will be too much help. Like Jab said, maybe NyQuil or Benadryl...those help some people with sleep. But that really depends because in some people they cause paradoxical reactions...they can cause you to feel very restless and unable to sit still. That can already be an issue while in WD's and the Benadryl/NyQuil can just compound the problem.

If you need to vent or anything, just let us know. Let us know how things are going for you. Take care of yourself,

Mike

[bigNasty]

why...no...benzos?

you..dont..wanna..start..a..new..addiction...but.. .a...few..days...of...small...doses...of...benzos. .would..be..my...answer

[upstate_007]

Congrats Raz. One step closer to your goal.

[rockbottom]

yah we gave tranzene--a long lasting benzo--for first week of detoxing---and one DR used ativan--usually one week is all you need---good luck

[Poppylvr]

Hey Razzle Dazzzle - Here's hoping that Thursday finds you drink free still.
Chicken broth, fresh orange juice, LOTS of water.
We give detoxing alcoholics big doses of Thiamine and folic acid and multivitamins because those vitamins are always depleted in heavy drinkers. So get yourself a heavy duty multivitamin- probably a prenatal vitamin- and a bottle of thiamine and take one of each every day. Replacing the lost vitamins will help you feel better faster.
If you start getting very shakey or start having DT's like symptoms (confusion, severe shaking, rapid heart rate, visual hallucinations, the sense of something crawling on you) you need to talk with a doc about getting a librium script to prevent seizures, my friend.
And don't drink the Nyquil - it's like 25% alcohol, so you are'nt detoxing, just switching like from beer to wine.
Good luck, my friend!

[simfromstoke]

Wurdup! raz me ol mucker
cant you use charcoal or sumat like tha to soak up the shit in yer stomach
a g/f years ago worked in the mental ward and in sure she used to tell me they'd script charcoal tablets to speed uo the detox cuz it soaks up the booze

dunner quote me, it was fuckin years ago, and ive hammered sum fuckin drugs since then..

well done anyways.

are you gonna move past square one now?

ive fucked up with the smack, but im not bothered.
im not even moving back towards sqaure one yet.. i got too much coin in me rocket mate
im gonna have to thrash ALL this cash before i even think about turkey time

but like i said im not bothered
im stable mentally and happy and thats all im bothered about

gudluk m8 and dunner get too vexed wiv it eh...

-sim

[Raz]

Fanks peeps.....This will be me third day without a drink......stomach is like a washing machine on ze spin cycle....:o

[Duckfeet]

It gets better, Raz: u finally get to where u actually enjoy being sober...and it doesn't take that long, u probably already have moments, maybe hrs', where u feel alright...after a while a whole day...then finally, u realize that a *bad* day sticks out...it can be real lonely there in the middle, tho...I ached for dope and alcohol once...but it finally passed, and then I could see the day at hand, and liked it...so soldier on, brother...I be watching you, and hoping you'll make it...again: don't get discouraged...day at a time, all that...and sometimes, a bit of anger pops up, often w/loved ones...but it passes...we just be really touchy when we're going thru this...


Fanks peeps.....This will be me third day without a drink......stomach is like a washing machine on ze spin cycle....:o

[simfromstoke]

Fanks peeps.....This will be me third day without a drink......stomach is like a washing machine on ze spin cycle....:o

THREE fuckin days mate!
thats wicked
oh and just to take the piss.. iv got a dark wash waiting to go in. when does you stomach accept a new load..
oh and where do i put the coins? 3 euros right? is that with or without my own washing powder..

[Raz]

Yeah you can keep dem fuckin coins right away from any slot of mine awight geezer!!

This is always the worse fing for me, the poxy spin cycle....Yesterday i hadda little boot, to keep me away from ze booze....And i got through ze day without drinking....

I'm at the stage now of sweats in bed, all my smells are comin back; along with my taste buds....Its fuckin amazing how much alcohol stops you from really tasting your food....I know the next few nights arent gonna be that good, not much sleep and a lotta sweating....
Well at least the time difference is in my favour....Early hours here is when most of you guys are online...

And Sim wtf you doin up so early?

[simfromstoke]

Yeah you can keep dem fuckin coins right away from any slot of mine awight geezer!!

This is always the worse fing for me, the poxy spin cycle....Yesterday i hadda little boot, to keep me away from ze booze....And i got through ze day without drinking....

I'm at the stage now of sweats in bed, all my smells are comin back; along with my taste buds....Its fuckin amazing how much alcohol stops you from really tasting your food....I know the next few nights arent gonna be that good, not much sleep and a lotta sweating....
Well at least the time difference is in my favour....Early hours here is when most of you guys are online...

And Sim wtf you doin up so early?

i cant sleep cause ive had too much gear and my brain is going ten-to-the dozen
and it WONT let me sleep cuz i got £300 burning a hole in me pocket and im just waiting for some fucker to turn on now

its 6.07 and i prob got 3hours to wait til the mum and dad dealers switch on after droppin the kids off at school

are yoy feelin any better now mate?
and i take it you not slept much/not at all

i never dun a booze detox so its all new to me -what you are going thru

i have seen quite a few mate go thru that detox hell and thanked my luckies that i didnt get too into drinkin at an earlier age.

i know that doesn't help -me sayin that. i was just sayin i wouldnt like to have to do it
but you are on the right track mate.
and who knows, in 2 years when i move to majorca we might meet up and just have a toke, with us both being clean(fingers crossed eh..)

[Raz]

^^^Looks likey your a good punter mate....;)

[simfromstoke]

^^^Looks likey your a good punter mate....;)

yeah! some fucker gonna be gettin easy money outta me and its the early bird catches the worm an all tha

i used to be able to score AT ANY time 3.30 am, 4am, 5am when i last lived down me nans in islington.

it pisses me off, these lazy stokies not turning on til 9 oh fucking clock

mind you it could be a LOT worse.. i could be living in america where some people have only ever seen gear in photos here on opio..

oh yeah mate i forgot to say..
even though you had a bit of a whistle yesterday, its done you no harm and you dont seem bothered by it so i recon you dun the best thing there mate
and i aint gonna teach a granny how to suck eggs

keep it up mate! yer doin fuckin sound!
oh and ONE more thing..
was watchin the film "the football factory" you know -wiv danny dyer, last nite
and i was thinking "i wonder how americans could understand our footie following. like all the passion and the commeraderie and yeah the fighting"
cuz Papa Verine was asking me about england earlier on, and whatits like to live over here
i thought i might send him the dvd(footie factory) but then i thought that it'd probably scare him outta wanting to come here
do you get sky still over there mate?

-sim

oh yeah the football factory (see my brain is fucking wizzing) when i was thinkin "send Papa V a copy "
i thought "but raz would have to record a separate soundtrack for it"
cuz while to us it just normal everyday chatter
a simple statement like "oh i lamped him and he spilled claret all over me new stone island"

- an american just wouldn't have a clue what you were on about

they'd be thinking "what the fuck is lamping"

"why did he spill wine after he was "lamped"- whatever that is"

"and whats all this about a new island somewhere"

they'd come to some conclusion thinking "so he shone a lamp in this guys eyes , causing him to spill his wine over some garden rockery arrangement.."

[Indy]

If you could get some gabapentin aka neurontin, that would help, but from what i understand you don't really get scripts, and neurontin isnt really sold on the street, especially in spain. Try and get some benzos, even if you DO get addicted it wouldnt probably be as bad as drinking, but still make sure you dont switch addictions.

[simfromstoke]

fuck this waiting lark mate its daylight
im shootin to see if i can find any birds i know that are still out on the street
speak to you wen i get back mate

-sim

[RxQueen]

good for you raz!! i know you're probably still feeling pretty shitty today, but i'll be damned if you're not about the most determined person here. you WILL be able to get through this, as long as it's what you want... and i bet that you'll start feeling a lot better within a couple more days. i've really got a lot of respect for you, being able to own up to your own problems and face 'em down head-on this way. i hope your stomach at least starts to settle soon. and do like poppylvr said, and be sure to keep yourself hydrated. i'll be pulling for you from over here across the pond!

it's fun for me to hear you and sim talking back and forth... i try to hear the british accents in my head when i read both of your posts! even though it does sometimes seem like a foreign language to me with all that slang... :D

[LorTabitha]

Hey Raz, did you make it to Day 4? Please keep us updated. Hope this isn't what you're looking like.... :sickinbed

If you have to, just forget one day at a time. One hour, one minute if that works for you. Now that you can smell and taste, maybe you can start eating more? The charcoal idea was a really good one to soak up all that acid in your stomach. It's cheap at health food stores. You might also try some valerian to help you relax and sleep, or kava kava (or both). As far as scripts, could you get some Soma? That will help with the restless legs for sure. If you do get some Neurontin, be sure to start at a low dose and titrate up. Also, wean down when coming off of it. It can be nasty stuff if you don't treat it right!

I'm so pleased that you've set this goal and are so resolute...

My bassets are singing a song for you and sending some drool to keep you motivated. aROOOOO! :p

[upstate_007]

was watchin the film "the football factory" you know -wiv danny dyer, last nite
and i was thinking "i wonder how americans could understand our footie following. like all the passion and the commeraderie and yeah the fighting"


This American understands it. I saw that movie a few years ago and loved it. It's somewhat comparable to the rivalry between the Yankees and Red Sox here with baseball. You don't get that between any other teams though.

When Raz first mentioned he was a Millwall supporter I thought of that movie. Liked them better than the Chelsea guys in the movie anyway;)

[simfromstoke]

This American understands it. I saw that movie a few years ago and loved it. It's somewhat comparable to the rivalry between the Yankees and Red Sox here with baseball. You don't get that between any other teams though.

When Raz first mentioned he was a Millwall supporter I thought of that movie. Liked them better than the Chelsea guys in the movie anyway;)

sorry if anyone (any americans) read my other post (the post upstate is commenting on) the wrong way.
i wrote it around half six thismorn, after no sleep and being off my head all night on zoppies and smack

i was specifically talking to raz but forgot that i might offend people by saying stuff like that

i've just read it myself and it does seem, well, racist? er..narrow minded? er.. i can see why people might take offence

what can i say? theres no excuse for me to be alienating the general opie population like that

i just wasn't thinking and was very tired and over opiated and had had 3 zoppies which dont help you to think very clearly -especially when you take too many of them

just fucking ignore me when im like that. i wont do it again.

[upstate_007]

sorry if anyone (any americans) read my other post (the post upstate is commenting on) the wrong way.
i wrote it around half six thismorn, after no sleep and being off my head all night on zoppies and smack

i was specifically talking to raz but forgot that i might offend people by saying stuff like that

i've just read it myself and it does seem, well, racist? er..narrow minded? er.. i can see why people might take offence

what can i say? theres no excuse for me to be alienating the general opie population like that

i just wasn't thinking and was very tired and over opiated and had had 3 zoppies which dont help you to think very clearly -especially when you take too many of them

just fucking ignore me when im like that. i wont do it again.

For the record Sim, I did not see it as offensive at all. Besides, you're a good guy and I think most would have given you the benefit of the doubt anyway.

Nuff hijacking though.... Eh Raz, how's today going for you? Keep up the good work amigo.

[OxyContinuously]

Raz, my friend

all i can say is that you are one tuff motherfucker!! and when u put ur mind to something, you accomplish it, bro...we've witnessed it time and time again

so i would say just keep on truckin, take it a day at a time, and i have every faith in ya that you'll beat this, my man!

[resorcinol]

Hey Raz... for mild alcohol w/d symptoms something like phenibut could help. It's a weak gaba-b agonist sold in health stores... one of the few "supplements" with genuine (albeit weak) activity. Kava kava is another one like phenibut with genuine activity... kavalactones are the actives. I think a phenibut + kava kava tea combo could help you very much so. Kavalactones are believed to be either weak partial or full gaba-a agonists or possibly central Na+ voltage gated / Ca2+ channel blockers (or a hammilton put it once, channel fuckers) like Lyrica. The latter seems more likely for kavalactones.

However, if you're gonna have full blown alcohol w/d syndrome, you need medical help. But you know that man.

[Saint]

Raz, I know you don't do benzo's but I had the strangest thing this week.
Like I said I made a similar decision to cut down on the booze. I drink every night, not that much but still, every day is every day.

So last monday I decided to stop drinking on workdays - just to test if I could do without a drink for a few days - and the third day I noticed my anxiety was way less than normal. I use serax daily (very low dose, 10 to 30 mgs, RX-ed for social anxiety and IBS) but the 3th and 4thday of NO drinking I didn't take any, simply because I didn't need any. And I had expected to feel superanxious!
So I guess alcohol produces anxiety. (Maybe not while you are drinking but it does during the come down). So I'm going to keep this up: no more beer during workdays.

I had a tough time not drinking the first 2 days, had been working all day, coming home late and then I just want that beer and relax before diner. But the 3th and 4th day were o.k.
Now my goal isn't as tough as yours, only to take it a little slower, but you are one tough wanker to pull this of! Especially now that you're cutting down on ze juice so much.

So here's to hoping things will get better/easier for ya soon. One day at a time.

[simfromstoke]

raz i know you aint really into the fuckin rehab fing
but i bin goin pretty regularly to mine lately & i got a 1-2-1 keyworker helpin me out a bit in there

shes well clued up & a tidy bit of skirt to boot. she makes it fun & its like a bit of a giggle but she sorts loads of my shit out too
the last couple of weeks she bin bangin on a bit about accupuncture and how i really should give it a whirl.
she has it done maybe once a month & they actually do it in my rehab in one of the other rooms.

so i was asking her how she feels after an hour of someone stickin needles in her ear & she told me its hard to describe but its like being wrapped in a blanket of total relaxation
she said even driving home after, things that would normally wind her up a bit just didnt bother her.

so i'm thinking, yeah what the fuck.. i'm gonna give it blast next week.
i'll let you know waa gwaan & who knows.. maybe its like being stoned or sumink without any downsides, i dunno..
i will deffo give it a go tho.
got fuck-all to loose eh. ill keep you posted bruv
hope you doin alright an tha
-sim

[clinton]

great job Raz, keep it up... Are you feeling stronger wd symptoms after going awhile without the drink? What was your daily booze regiment?



And sim your futbol post wasn't offensive at all...

[EleusisII]

Hey, congrats and good luck! That's a hard fucking habit to quit, so I'm proud of you!
Have you thought about getting some Valium or something, just for a week or two? Might make it a bit easier. And if you only do it for a couple of weeks, you won't be replacing one habit for another!

[Raz]

Fanks everyone for your support, which is very helpfull , especially when ya is feeling like shit...:o

Being the guy i am , i thought, "fuck it. get some comfort,one thing at a time".....So its now my 4th day without alcohol, But fri/thur ol Raz did a bit of self medicating ........Went an saw the Ol gypsy grandma and got some a dat "magic powder".......
Ya know, the one that takes away ya aches an pains and ya fizzy/washing machine stomach ;)...

So i guess i been my own Dr for a couple a days....:D

Back on track today, no more smack...Staying on the wagon.....I truly know though, this is one instance where smack as actually done me some good.....Its got me through the worse of Alki detox.....And stoppin the chasin has actually become second nature, being doin it for so long now.....

Kinda hoping that staying away from booze will give my brain some consistent thinking....(fuck as i'm typing dis my gut is goin "Brrrpppp, fizzzzle, fuckin dizzle bizzle bolloxs"....:o......
Oh yeah, i've never fuckin drank sooo much fuckin tea and it aint poppy seed or pod tea...Just plain ol poxy tea....Ya know the same stuff that some of ya ancestors threw overboard in Boston...

Yeah guys the ol football factory aint a bad film...I actually know some of the guys in the movie, I come from the same area And my missus used to be on the ol ned keelly.(Telly)....
My kid is millwall till she dies and will probably be goin to a match when she hits london first week of dec...I'm staying here wiv ze fuckin dog!!........Guess you guys can see where i am in the peckin order in dis house...
Fanks for the support amigo's......

[Raz]

Bump tiddy bmp bump......

Man i musta been fuckin sodden!!........................7 days without the booze although i am drinking gallons of sin alcohol beer....Its still fuckin comin outta me....Ze booze....
Stomach is still on the rinse cycle, but not super fast spin dry, maybe a quick rinse tingy..:o....And i'm farting like a good un!.....The missus is sayin "Fucks sake control yaself, your wakin me up with dem loud ones , cant you tone em down a bit( there not smelly just loud)"......"Yea sure honey, just let my find the fuckin equaliser thats up my arse"....:o....

What she finking man, i got some sound machine up there!......

Things are getting better though without the booze...Find myself enjoying things a bit more and feelin a bit more physical, more in tune kinda thing....I actually went into a bar yesterday and hadda sin alki beer....Fuckin hell man, this Halo is gonna slip an strangle me.........................

[RxQueen]

Bump tiddy bmp bump......

Man i musta been fuckin sodden!!........................7 days without the booze although i am drinking gallons of sin alcohol beer....Its still fuckin comin outta me....Ze booze....
Stomach is still on the rinse cycle, but not super fast spin dry, maybe a quick rinse tingy..:o....And i'm farting like a good un!.....The missus is sayin "Fucks sake control yaself, your wakin me up with dem loud ones , cant you tone em down a bit( there not smelly just loud)"......"Yea sure honey, just let my find the fuckin equaliser thats up my arse"....:o....

What she finking man, i got some sound machine up there!......

Things are getting better though without the booze...Find myself enjoying things a bit more and feelin a bit more physical, more in tune kinda thing....I actually went into a bar yesterday and hadda sin alki beer....Fuckin hell man, this Halo is gonna slip an strangle me.........................

hahahaha! no chance there, razzle... just keep it propped up on the tips of those devilish horns! :p

great to hear that you're starting to feel better without the booze. some of my friends that took serious breaks from drinking said that it was kinda like quitting cigarettes, in that their sense of taste and smell got better too... i guess that could happen, i dunno... if you drink enough for a long time, i suppose that it could affect those things.

keep up the good job, brother, and fart on! maybe it's helping to get the last of the alcohol outta your digestive tract.... and maybe get the wifey some earplugs till ya find that volume control! fer chrissakes, the poor woman needs her sleep! :D

[Duckfeet]

Good man, Raz: u get more and more used to it: at 1st I couldn't imagine not drinking: all my life revolved around the barroom, and people that drank...I'd never *met* anybody I liked who didn't drink...

but anyway, good on yah, keep it up, it gets better...I finally got tired of that non-alcoholic beer even, as I was just teasing myself, but once in a while, w/a pizza or something, the european non-alcohohol stuff is good...the U.S. stuff taste like warm piss anyway, w/or w/out alcohol...

Best of luck to you, as always...

Bump tiddy bmp bump......

Man i musta been fuckin sodden!!........................7 days without the booze although i am drinking gallons of sin alcohol beer....Its still fuckin comin outta me....Ze booze....
Stomach is still on the rinse cycle, but not super fast spin dry, maybe a quick rinse tingy..:o....And i'm farting like a good un!.....The missus is sayin "Fucks sake control yaself, your wakin me up with dem loud ones , cant you tone em down a bit( there not smelly just loud)"......"Yea sure honey, just let my find the fuckin equaliser thats up my arse"....:o....

What she finking man, i got some sound machine up there!......

Things are getting better though without the booze...Find myself enjoying things a bit more and feelin a bit more physical, more in tune kinda thing....I actually went into a bar yesterday and hadda sin alki beer....Fuckin hell man, this Halo is gonna slip an strangle me.........................

[Raz]

some of my friends that took serious breaks from drinking said that it was kinda like quitting cigarettes, in that their sense of taste and smell got better too... i guess that could happen, i dunno... if you drink enough for a long time, i suppose that it could affect those things.

Yep some of those symptons are definately wiv me.....Also not sleeping so good...Its like the chemicals are just slowly leaving my system, but they are delaying their departure; just hanging around a bit just in case their compadres, alcohol, come back for a party....

This period is when i've given in b4,ya know after a week....There isnt no way i am giving in this time...I am slowly beginning to realise how fuckin toxic the shit booze is...And what it does to me....Life is better without it....
maybe i'll have a drink at christmas?...But i'll worry about that at christmas.....

[Duckfeet]

Once I realized there wasn't any pleasure anymore for me, and that I drank too much, and *always* wanted more dope, I knew I had to quit, one way or another...plus I'm actually a pretty proud man, and don't like doing anything, where I put myself in a weak or foolish position...

I realized--just like w/opiates--that yeah, I would probably drink again, but that I didn't need to drink *today*...and that helped me...and it's not really a "trick", since I've never woke up in the morning wishing I had got drunk the night before...it's just sometimes I'll think, oh no, what if I said to Australia, how can I not drink *then!* ... well, I haven't ever sailed out of sight of land, so I don't got to worry about it ;-)

In other words, I never found a day I couldn't get thru w/out a drink...just when I worry too much about the future...

And yes, too, on all the health, and other things, which got better: I'm stronger and healthier now than I was many years ago, when I lived to drink...

Drinking cool, fun: I don't try to talk people out of it: it just doesn't work for me anymore...so best of luck, during this time of year...as it can be kind of tough...




Yep some of those symptons are definately wiv me.....Also not sleeping so good...Its like the chemicals are just slowly leaving my system, but they are delaying their departure; just hanging around a bit just in case their compadres, alcohol, come back for a party....

This period is when i've given in b4,ya know after a week....There isnt no way i am giving in this time...I am slowly beginning to realise how fuckin toxic the shit booze is...And what it does to me....Life is better without it....
maybe i'll have a drink at christmas?...But i'll worry about that at christmas.....

[Raz]

^^^^ Yeah bro, the booze aint doin it for me anymore.....

Its a real part of the culture out here,booze....I kinda used to look around me and wonder how these people could do it, day in day out....Coz all drinking eventually does to me is make me feel fucked up,unhealthy....

Guess i realise now that i am physically and mentally different than most"normal people"...Most people aint been smokin smack for yrs or drinking as much as i have......Or takin a shitload of fuckin methadone...
But like you say bro, "just worry about today".....
Without the booze i find that i am managing my methadone better than i was when drinking....I guess my body wasnt processing vitamins properly...And the way i was abusing myself woulda killed a lesser man!:o:D..............Maybe i should take all this as a wake up call.....better to do it now, than when i have really an truly fucked my health....
I'll keep ya posted amigo....Just worrying about today....