Starting done on Thursday...

[Crow]

Hey guys, I'm not dead. Starting on methadone (once again, I swear I've done everything a billion times, why doesnt anything work well enough to KEEP me off?) on thursday. Wish me luck. Gotta drive an hour just to get to the clinic, of course every day. Sucks ass cause I don't even have a car. Need to do it though, or else my ass is gunna go to jail. Miss you all. Peace.

[Consumed.]

Have you got accepted into one yet??? If your in NY cause theyre such a bitch to get into there....

[nick]

Good luck with it man.methadone can give stability and for a lot of us,stability is a great thing.

[alowishus]

Good luck with it man.methadone can give stability and for a lot of us,stability is a great thing.

Word........and other words that mean you go guy!!

(I'm hungry, I think it's time to crank the beasties and munch some wood)

[jonny-5]

good luck my brotha....keep me updated.

[alowishus]

Yeah I picked, done or bupe, which one....well I said at least w/ the done I could at least get a buzz.

But too many hoops to jump through, I made the choice to be on bupe and was in 3 days. Sucks you can't get a buzz, I used too the 1st time I took it.....battle wounds.

[reddragon3668]

Good luck, Crow. I think the key is (and I am sure this come as no suprise to anyone) wanting to quit. I can't think of many things that would make me want to quit but as you said, jail has got to be one of them. I hate bars...

Keep us informed; we're rooting for ya, seriously! Driving an hour is going to be a bitch, but I guess if you tally up all the time you spend copping it may prove to be less, at least for allot of people. Take care and keep it between both ditches!

[Duckfeet]

My story exactly: I was so sick of the back and forth: hating methadone, getting off it, getting back on dope, hating that, trying to quit on my own, not succeeding, back and forth, back and forth...I finally just gave up and tried to quit trying to quit *anything* and just stabilize on methadone for a while, and calm down a bit...after that I made some good, hard decisions, and stuck to them, and believe me, if I can do it, anybody can...I'm not out of the woods yet, but I feel lucky, and I drop to 3mg tomorrow, and then next week jump...so hang in there: like Nick said, methadone can give us stability, and I wish I would have seen it that way a few years ago, rather than always fighting it...yeah, I have serious problems with methadone--constipation for me is horrible--but in all honesty, without it, I know without a shadow of a doubt, I'da been cracked on the habitual offender law by now, out here, and so, easy does it, get on the 'done, don't get crazy with it, and keep going up chasing that buzz...

In the beginning methadone *does* provide a bit of euphoria, since we're usually kicking, and there's *no* euphoria like "getting well..." But once that becomes elusive, is when we often get crazy in our upward pursuit of something which--In my opinion--isn't going to happen...what we do get, again, once we calm down and stabilize at *any* dose--my best dose, no matter how strung out I've been, is 50mg daily--then if I'll go home and drink my coffee quietly, I *always* start to feel better and more cheerful, about an hr after dosing, and that lasts thru the day, and I can sleep o.k.

That worked pretty good even during my drop over the last few months, but started fading by the time I got around 15mg a day...but that was the same dose I finally started having daily bowel movements on again, and also, by this time, I was actually beginning to enjoy my "normal" life, so the lack of even that slight euphoric lift wasn't missed by me...

Good luck...

But anyway, whatever you do, best wishes to you...God knows I've been there...

[oxymoronluvr]

see if you can seek out some sort of county paid for public transit. if you have medicade it often pays for that kind of thing. i see it here at the clinic by me all the time. the cliniic helps you get on welfare and gets you free rides there and back, often people remain in the same place and do this for years until they get ssi or ssdi. if you want that. for me i wouldnt want that. but its a good thing to at least seek out some sort of assistnace at first if you are not employed and dont have insurance that covers it.

1 hour there and 1 hour back is a long trip. keep ur nose clean and get take homes if they do them. the one here does not do them so people go 7 days a week.

good luck

[Saint]

Hiya Crow! I missed you around here. Good to see you're back!

[Crow]

Thanks for all the replies, I've missed you all. I've been on the done for close to a week now, still been using a bit because they are in the process of raising my dosage up. In fact, I OD'ed two nights ago, too many benzos, plus dope, done and booze. Paramedics said I was dead for minutes before they revived me. P.S. Fuck Narcan. On the bright side my near death experience is gunna make me push to make this methadone thing work even more than before. Just waiting for them to get me up to a decent level....only at 80 mgs so far, and with my habit, thats not cutting it.

Oh, and by the way, its all free...states paying for it. Sure beats the expensive suboxone I was paying for years that didn't even work for me.....but to each their own, right?

Hope all of you are doing well, I dont have the internet at my current place, but Im trying to come back here as much as possible!

[Crow]

Hey guys, just an update....I have been off dope since sunday, which is the longest I have gone without a shot in the last eight years. I sooo wish I was joking, but I am not. I feel great though, a little bit of craving....like if someone offered me free shit I would probably take it in a heart beat, but its nothing unbearable like when I was craving dope on the subs. I finally feel semi-free....yes, I know, Im still hooked on the 'done, but its legal so it can't get me into any more trouble, and with it I might be able to complete the Intensive Out Patient program I just started. You can't give any dirty urines or miss a class at this place or yr kicked out, and I am court ordered so that would mean prison for me. I am praying to the powers that be, whatever the hell they are, that I can muster up the willpower to keep this up. Wish me luck guys, be well everyone!

[DCBA]

I know the feeling when you talk about beeing now free on the methadone. I too felt that about 8 months ago when i first started, i felt great because i quit using heroin. And was ok and the methadone was giving me a stimulant mood lift and sometimes noding without much euphoria but with cannabis it was enougth for the time..
Methadone is a god send for me.

[Duckfeet]

I wondered what had happened, and I'm glad you are doing o.k. Methadone pretty much saved my life...and I'm no methadone fan...but it did get me off the crazy drugs, and then I calmed down around 50mg daily, and began a slow detox, and got off it a little over a month ago...no cravings, so far, I'm o.k...I know I posted on this thread when I was down to 3mg, and I just wanted to wish you good luck on this one...again, methadone can be a good tool, and like Nick says, can bring you some stability...

[DCBA]

Some are starting, some are leaving..
DF, good job! Now you ll deserve and have what cleanness brings..

Crow, how is it doing?