What part of withdrawals do *you* hate the most?

[dieselbaby]

Well, as any of us regular opiate users can tell you, withdrawals suck. Thankfully I've been free of full-blown withdrawals for a while. We know how it starts...progresses from when your eyes start to hurt and get watery, nose running, stomach feeling funky, feel like you have a big shit stuck in your ass, goosebumps, back hurts, hot and cold flashes, sweating, get real tired. Then you wake up and you're puking, can't sit still, got the worst anxiety.

What is the worst part of withdrawals for you?

Personally, I'd have to say that it's a tie between puking and anxiety. I get super bad insomnia and literally cannot sit still for more than 30 seconds at a time. Fuck restless leg syndrome, I get restless BODY syndrome and restless MIND syndrome. I also throw up a lot. I throw up a lot compared to regular people in general, so I guess that I'm used to it and I'm not afraid of throwing up like some people I know are. The problem that I have is the fact that I will throw up for a minimum of 3 days straight, about every 10 minutes until I throw up all the bile in my stomach (that nasty orange-yellow shit that burns my throat on the way back up) and then I'm dry heaving so bad that it feels like my stomach is having a seizure.

Although, it's pretty great when you're in the throes of a heavy cold turkey withdrawal and you do a fat blast of H. Nothing like going from zero to "whoa", and getting the taste of a fat shot of H in the back of your throat. You can feel the intricacies of the mechanism of action that heroin is taking in your body, filling your opiate receptors that are screaming "feed me!" and tightening up your runny sinuses, settling your stomach and killing all of your pain. That is, if you're not hurting too bad that you're shaking and can't hit a shot.

So what say you guyzzzz? :sickinbed

[pharmboy]

It's a tie between upper leg pain and the psycological effects, can't sleep,

all memories are BAD memories , that kind of stuff.

And for some reason whenever I start to go into W/D any more

I can tell because I start to smell stale cigarette smoke, Weird.

[dieselbaby]

Yeah I get a weird smell stuck in my nose during withdrawals too. I never brought it up to anyone before. Anyone else get this? :confused:

[EleusisII]

obsessive masturbation!

[resorcinol]

I agree totally on the restless BODY syndrome, aka akathisia. It's the w/d symptom that makes me want bash my head into a wall. I've thrashed about and made a mess of the room I'm in while withdrawaling, just throwing stuff and banging into stuff to try to exhaust that horrible agitation. It's like a long, physical and psychological panic attack that takes massive amounts of benzos and clonidine to even tranquilize slightly. Slightly is actually a welcome response to me that only clonidine and benzos together can do, either alone does fuck all to stop this symptom.

The next worse is the chills and cold sensitivity alternating with hot flashes. I can't stop shivering! *puts a blanket on* .... one minute later.... FUCK it's hot under here! *throws blanket off* ... then proceed to shiver even worse than before the blanket came into the picture in the first place. Nasty.

Third place is the odd smelling sweat. IDK if any of you guys get this, but I find w/d sweat to be particularly offensive smelling, I don't think an equivalent amount of normal sweat would smell as gross. It requires frequent showering to quench.

[EleusisII]

Agh yeah, the smell is awful... It's not just sweat, it's this heavy, chemical disgusting smell, argh!

[goagirl23]

I'd say the restless legs and the insomnia. In fact, I've come to believe that the restless legs actually cause the insomnia....at least for me. If I could somehow get rid of the restless legs w/d may be somewhat bearable.. Oddly enough I don't throw up during w/d's

[RxQueen]

i hate each one of the symptoms mentioned so far, but i'd hafta say that the part that i hate the MOST would be the total lack of opiates. that sounds snarky and sarcastic, and it kinda is, but it's also the honest truth.

[ZodiacKiller]

Goddamn, this thread is creeping me out....

I've experienced just about all the stuff you guys have described here, and it's just about the worst thing a person can endure. And others (non-opioid-people) have no idea---unless you have experienced it, you cannot understand. I gotta get out of here now.....:(


ZK

[jab]

The part of w/d that hate the most is not having any dope!! :p

Seriously though, the lack of control over body temp, tied with the restless legs (Jimmy legs) just sux!! To a lesser extent the nagging gut pain and fact that EVERYTHING smells like crap while in w/d.

[Pandora]

The horrible leg pain! Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me, but it always starts out as a dull ache and turns into this horrible pain which feels like hot knives are being shoved into my femur, and my lower legs are getting beaten with baseball bats.

The insomnia is a close second, as is the anxiety. The hot/cold also sucks ass, but I can deal with that. The other stuff? Not so much.

I feel like I experience this WAYYY too often.

[southernbelle]

I hate all of it! But I guess the worst (to me) is that god-awful body ache, where you can't keep from moving, etc. That's why I try to keep massive amounts of muscle relaxers on hand. At least then, I can drug myself into oblivion and sleep for a while.

[I-Nod]

Definitely the restless legs... definitely. I run about 15 miles during that hour of sleep I get each night. Also going from shivering cold to butt-ass hot in all of 2 seconds sucks dead badger ass too.

Last, but not least... getting angry and yelling at my kids or my girl... I go into an abandoned room in the house for the first 3 days and tell them to leave me alone, but they always insist on coming in and trying to make me "feel better". No dice.

[underide]

Psychological side/part of withdrawals is always way worse than the physical part for me
I think i can almost endure the physical symptoms most of the time (don't get me wrong, physical symptoms can get pretty nasty too)

but the psychological side of withdrawal - cravings, MAJOR depression, time warping to standstill where it seems like minutes last hours, and like pharmboy just mentioned "all thoughts are BAD thoughts" - very true for me too

there just seems no end in sight for the psychological side of opiate withdrawal (especially when you're in the grip of it), and as an added fact that psychological withdrawal symptoms from opiates last way longer than the physical ones, at least for me and from what i remember - haven't actually kicked opiates in years now -still on methadone (apart from a few days of forced abstinence here and there)

i really do think that if opiate withdrawal came with only physical symptoms (i.e no depression, cravings, anxiety, etc), i would have been able to kick no problem, because as i said, the psychological symptoms is what always did it for me.

On the physical side of WD's i'd say i hate the leg pains/restlesness and i really can't stand the sweats that seem never ending, always having to change your clothes/bed-sheets just to sweat another few buckets a few more hours later
And that feeling you get of always being dirty and filthy because of it. Showers obviously do help but only temporarily



Slightly OT: i've just been through benzo wd's recently (all of last week since last/previous friday - 10 days without any benzo's in total)) - i've never expereienced benzo wd's before
I went cold turkey off about 100mgs of valium pretty much dayly, (safe for about 3-4 days of no use in between) for about 2 months time.
I ended up relapsing a few days ago - had my last dose of valium yesterday and decided to taper with Zimovane (zopiclone - GABAa sleeper) this time

i have to say, benzo wd's feel a lot like opiate wd's in some ways, but it maybe different for me to judge since i'm on methadone, so it wasn't a complete CT benzo withdrawals i guess. Also i did notice that taking methadone did 'soothe' the the worst of WD symptoms for a couple of hours, but then it was back to WD nastiness

But all the symptoms were somewhat similar to opiate WD's for me, except that i seemed to get extreme head-spins at times, a lot of twichiness at night and when trying to get some sleep i would get these strange flashes in my in front of my eyes. Also all of the above syptoms pluss EXTREME rebound anxiety seemed pretty damn nasty on the 10th day without benzo's. That's when i relapsed and got myself another 2 trays of diazepam (so i think got a slight reminder of what opiate wd's feel like quite recently)
but then again, my recent benzo addiction was intertwined with my daily methadone use, so maybe there was a little part of opiate WD's thrown in to since benzo's potentiate opiates so well

and here i am again with no benzo's - hopefully it works this time, i'm more prepared this time

[upstate_007]

Yeah I get a weird smell stuck in my nose during withdrawals too. I never brought it up to anyone before. Anyone else get this? :confused:

That's usually the first thing to hit me. Let's me know the rest is coming.

The worst for me is the pain in my shins and wrists. For some reason both of them hurt like holy hell when I get sick.

[nullnull]

regarding physical wds: for me its the chills and the cold. it feels like im "burning" inside. only its like a cold
burning.

regarding pych. wds: def. the anxiety i couldnt leave the house without benzos :rolleyes:

[OxyContinuously]

I agree with the peeps who mentioned the "weird smell" that comes to be as the first, or one of the first, symptoms of withdrawal. It is disgusting, to be honest. Now I'm not sure if it's really a heightened sense of smell, or if it's just our normal sense of smell--the way it would be w/ no drugs in ur system...and especially those who insufflate their diesel, I can definitely see how when you don't have any, your sense of smell seems to be on overdrive...

It's gross, though, because personally, I seem to smell everything from miles away; like cigarettes become extremely offensive to me (and I am a smoker) just the smell makes me nautious...

Food tastes especially offensive, and *stronger* than usual...everything, no matter how mild like fruit and things like that---everything tastes like it's enhanced w/ "extra flavor" or something...really disturbing and part of the reason that when I am in full-blown WD, I always involuntarily make it worse, b/c i am unable to eat food due to the alteration of taste and smell...not to mention that even simple things like Jell-O leave an unbearable aftertaste in my mouth...

Dieselbaby, you mentioned throwing up, and I must say, that is terrible; I can sympathize with you bro...I hate getting sick personally, but I have to say honestly, i have very very rarely thrown up during withdrawal...Maybe I don't do as much as you, or maybe our bodies handle the symptoms differently,, but for me, and I am really trying to be civilized and not disgusting, but bear with me---it's the diarrhea that kills me...It seems to start in at about 30 or so hours after my last dose, and if I don't get any mitigation it intensifies until the 48th hour or so...and then for the rest of "Day 2" up until "Day 4" if I have still not gotten anything, I will be wracked with that horrible, debilitating diarrhea...Every hour, I can look forward to sitting on the john, losing pretty much all the fluids in my body, and just getting downright exhausted and dehydrated...

The anxiety kills it too. It's like you worry about mundane, day-to-day nonsense, that doesn't warrant the attention your confused mind gives to it, yet you have no control over it...The racing thoughts, worry, paranoia, and all sorts of weirdness comes to fruition in my mind...and unfortunately, even after the physical symptoms level out (if you have been unlucky enough to be w/ out for probably 7 days or so) the mental *mindfuck* remains for quite a while afterward...I get very irritable, very jumpy, and I will over-react to the dumbest things...for example, the last time this happened to me, I tried to make myself feel better by making a cup of coffee to wake me up a bit,, and somehow I dropped the bowl with the sugar and spilled it everywhere...Well, let me tell you about the totally irrational anger and downright RAGE that resulted from that--it was nuts, guys! Normally, I'd be like, "Oh well, I dropped the sugar; that sucks but let me clean it up..." and be done with my day...Nope, not when in WD--my emotions/anxiety seems to be in overdrive, and it can get to the point where I will consciously avoid social situations for fear of a panic attack...quite disconcerting, and just another reminder of how powerful opiates really are...

A good way to sum up the "withdrawal syndrome," for me would be to say that when Tony is in withdrawal, his body is experiencing the total polar opposite of what he would feel if he was high on D. And I mean everything from the mental mindfuck, to the physical symptoms, to the RLS---for me, WD is the opposite of opiate intoxication, on every level...and that's pretty awful if you think about it!

thanks for taking the time 2 read this, if you got this far :-D

[Poppylvr]

Ugh - I'm drawn to this thread like a bad car accident - I don't want to look but I can't stop myself.
I think the worst of the wd's is the d e p r e s s i o n......plus the combo of insomnia & akathesia. For me the sudden onset of mind bending depression and inability to sleep it off is killer.

[Papa Verine]

I can relate to all of this!

One symptom that is particularly hard on me is the over-all weakness. I remember over the summer I had to walk about 3 miles to get home, carrying 10 lbs. of poppy seed. I got so weak and exhausted I had to lay down under a tree for an hour, then really force myself to walk the rest of the way. Some people like to take a hot shower when W/Ding... I can barely stand that long... I get so exhausted and weak when I'm sick. I hate having to do the simplest things like make a sandwich or throw a load of clothes in the washing machine. All I can do is plant myself in a comfortable spot and sit there in pain, sweating and shaking. I barely even smoke cigarettes when I'm sick. The smell, the taste, the feeling... it's all disgusting. I can make a pack last 4 days while W/Ding.

EVERYTHING sucks about it. EVERYTHING!!!

[halfalien_s4]

Well, as any of us regular opiate users can tell you, withdrawals suck. Thankfully I've been free of full-blown withdrawals for a while. We know how it starts...progresses from when your eyes start to hurt and get watery, nose running, stomach feeling funky, feel like you have a big shit stuck in your ass, goosebumps, back hurts, hot and cold flashes, sweating, get real tired. Then you wake up and you're puking, can't sit still, got the worst anxiety.

What is the worst part of withdrawals for you?

Personally, I'd have to say that it's a tie between puking and anxiety. I get super bad insomnia and literally cannot sit still for more than 30 seconds at a time. Fuck restless leg syndrome, I get restless BODY syndrome and restless MIND syndrome. I also throw up a lot. I throw up a lot compared to regular people in general, so I guess that I'm used to it and I'm not afraid of throwing up like some people I know are. The problem that I have is the fact that I will throw up for a minimum of 3 days straight, about every 10 minutes until I throw up all the bile in my stomach (that nasty orange-yellow shit that burns my throat on the way back up) and then I'm dry heaving so bad that it feels like my stomach is having a seizure.

Although, it's pretty great when you're in the throes of a heavy cold turkey withdrawal and you do a fat blast of H. Nothing like going from zero to "whoa", and getting the taste of a fat shot of H in the back of your throat. You can feel the intricacies of the mechanism of action that heroin is taking in your body, filling your opiate receptors that are screaming "feed me!" and tightening up your runny sinuses, settling your stomach and killing all of your pain. That is, if you're not hurting too bad that you're shaking and can't hit a shot.

So what say you guyzzzz? :sickinbed


i hate the sneezing fits/allergy problems that it intensifies, but more thasn anything else, i just so hate the body aches/backache. not to mention the pain i was taking it 4 in the 1st place comes back 10-fold. im lucky tho i think since i havent had to go thru any w/d's since ive been seeing my current PM doc for about 5 or 6 yrs now.....:).

[Consumed.]

Impending doom anxiety....

[HydroApe]

DEPRESSION

[Hoss]

Just as them jolly lads from Romford/Essex titled their 1999 live LP... EVERYTHING :

http://underworld.dougstewart.org/img/album/everythingeverything.jpg

Seriously though, usually for me, I wake up in the middle of the fucking night, and then have to shuttlecock my ass to the bathroom, literally, to simultainiously shit and puke - nothing like puking into a bowl full of diarrhea - OH YEAH!!!

http://www.edinformatics.com/inventions_inventors/Kool-AidMan.jpg

THEN... usually while "ON 'D' BOWL", my eyes start to water, and my vision gets blurry due to the extreme blippin' pupil dilation that has commenced. "What eyes? You're used to seeing out of a pin-prick? NO DICE!"

Oh and then it just goes without explaining the ensuing HELL that WD really are.

When in full blown withdrawal, you are reminded how alive you really are, and how dead you wish you could be. And yet - we continue down the long and winding road.

[jonny-5]

I can relate to all of this!

One symptom that is particularly hard on me is the over-all weakness. I remember over the summer I had to walk about 3 miles to get home, carrying 10 lbs. of poppy seed. I got so weak and exhausted I had to lay down under a tree for an hour, then really force myself to walk the rest of the way. Some people like to take a hot shower when W/Ding... I can barely stand that long... I get so exhausted and weak when I'm sick. I hate having to do the simplest things like make a sandwich or throw a load of clothes in the washing machine. All I can do is plant myself in a comfortable spot and sit there in pain, sweating and shaking. I barely even smoke cigarettes when I'm sick. The smell, the taste, the feeling... it's all disgusting. I can make a pack last 4 days while W/Ding.

EVERYTHING sucks about it. EVERYTHING!!!

yea this pretty much sums it up for me.

i also especially hate the anxiety pre wds that you get, youre not even sick yet but you make yourself sick by thinking about the impending doom. thats where im at at this moment. there are parts of actual wd that i hate worse but this part sucks too.

[Narkotikon]

It's an equal hatred of:

Anxiety / craving.

Leg aches / pains.

Bad memories (that really struck a cord with me. For some reason when I'm in w/d I'll just randomly think of shit that's happened to me, and it's always bad stuff that I'd rather NOT remember. I hate that. I only stop thinking about that stuff when I'm medicated.

Vomiting / dry heaving, especially if I try to smoke.

Not being able to sleep.


I hate all of w/d, but those are the big ones that I hate the most.

[Consumed.]

yea this pretty much sums it up for me.

i also especially hate the anxiety pre wds that you get, youre not even sick yet but you make yourself sick by thinking about the impending doom. thats where im at at this moment. there are parts of actual wd that i hate worse but this part sucks too.


J5 youre there at this moment?? Whats your plan (if youve got one)?http://forum.opiophile.org/images/icons/icon9.gif

[jonny-5]

J5 youre there at this moment?? Whats your plan (if youve got one)?http://forum.opiophile.org/images/icons/icon9.gif

i dont know...if i can im going to sell some subs to get some money but if i cant do that, then i dont really have any options other than getting sick and taking subs. at least i have those although they dont really help very much on the first day.

[Consumed.]

i dont know...if i can im going to sell some subs to get some money but if i cant do that, then i dont really have any options other than getting sick and taking subs. at least i have those although they dont really help very much on the first day.


Oh damn, are you kidding me? Yeah you better keep em J5! You wont get the impending doom... Shit when somebody says "im there" i was figuring no money, no dope, no subs, and ive just hit a brick wall doing a hundred. Makes ME feel a bit better cause I fuckin hate when people are truly gonna be really really dope sick. Like driving from Stamford to the bronx on 95 pulling over at MC Ds puking all over myself then resuming my drive at 100 mph to get to the spot and what????????????????

WAIT

[jonny-5]

Oh damn, are you kidding me? Yeah you better keep em J5! You wont get the impending doom... Shit when somebody says "im there" i was figuring no money, no dope, no subs, and ive just hit a brick wall doing a hundred. Makes ME feel a bit better cause I fuckin hate when people are truly gonna be really really dope sick. Like driving from Stamford to the bronx on 95 pulling over at MC Ds puking all over myself then resuming my drive at 100 mph to get to the spot and what????????????????

WAIT

yea i know what you mean, all i have out of those is subs but it doesnt mean that anxiety isnt there. i have enough where i can sell some and still have some. i need to quit anyways i just dont want to.

[Consumed.]

yea i know what you mean, all i have out of those is subs but it doesnt mean that anxiety isnt there. i have enough where i can sell some and still have some. i need to quit anyways i just dont want to.


One time my habit was so fuckin large subs didnt work. It was a nightmare. I was shootin 3 buns a day and when the money was gone, uh oh..... 100 mph wall. I waited till i was deep in withdrawals over 24 hours and took em one by one up to 32 mgs didnt work. No fuckin lyin. Sooooo I borrrowed some money got two buns. I set up a 7 bag shot cause i knew it was gonna take a lot to break through those subs. I shot seven, nothing. Then I shot a full bun, nothing. Only had three more shot em, eyes where still like saucers. It was a fuckin paradox. I couldnt get well with the subs and I had taken too much to break through, and it was good shit too. I was i limbo, fuckin horrible...

[halfalien_s4]

oh yea...almost forgot....i get really bad restless legs too....i hate that and the anxiety as well :confused:. however having a benzo always helps both - K-Pins 4 me....

[Chipper]

FEAR, insomnia and bizarre dreams but then I have never let it get too physical

[alowishus]

Not having more drugs is the worst part for me.

[halfalien_s4]

FEAR, insomnia and bizarre dreams but then I have never let it get too physical


well there is 1 thing thats kinda a double-edged sword. and thast the drug dreams i get. altho i also get them when i have my meds, i have them even more when i dont. they r always really kool...but...just as i think i am going to get that nice opiate glow....i usually dont. i have a few times felt it in my sleep tho which was nice.....;)

[EleusisII]

Ah yes, let's all sit and wallow in our junkie-misery!

This is somewhat related...

The first time I ran out, before I started to get real WD's, I remember feeling this tremendous sadness. Looking down at the last two pills in the bottle, I felt like somebody close to me had passed away.
And then I was just stunned at the fact, that the absense of some pills could make me feel that way.
Anyone else ever tried something like this?

It's not as prevalent these days. The knowledge of what is going to happen to me over the next 72 hours or so, kinda blows the sadness out of the water. But a part of it is still there.

I was really intrigued by the fact, that running out of pills could bring such a tremendous feeling of loss and sadness, but then I saw a post on opiophile.

Someone quoted an article, that explained how romantic feelings, falling in love and staying in love, are regulated by, and releases large amounts of endorphines. So is this wht happens to us junkies? We actually, biochemically speaking, fall in love with our opies? That would explain the sadness and loss I felt back then, hell, that I still feel sometimes, when I know I'm about to run out...

Any thoughts?

[Cherry's Jubilee]

FEAR, insomnia and bizarre dreams

reading this thread made me feel like i was going to hyperventilate...ok hold on, breathe...breathe...

i have 3 that i hate the most. for me the worst part is FEAR. paralyzing and agonizing fear of every-fucking-thing in the world and the crushing feeling that i'll never be ok again. right after that is the intolerable combination of extreme weakness and extreme restlessness. like i'm too weak to even crawl to the kitchen to get something to drink BUT at the same time i'm so restless i have to roll around on the floor or hang halfway off the bed to try to shake the creepy crawly feelings off, which doesn't work but it's too excruciating not to. (what is wrong with me? why am i doing this to myself? stupid. anyway...)

i dunno, i'm thinking these are all pretty equal except for the fact that i MIGHT be capable of handling the physical symptoms if i wasn't terrified and hopeless. # 3 is the feeling that i have to hold myself together to keep my insides from falling out. that's the only way i can explain it. like this really shaky, precarious, liquidy feeling that all of my insides are going to fall out or i'm going to crumble so i have to keep rolling up in a ball or sitting with my arms wrapped around my stomach or my knees to hold everything in. this is so hard to think about!! whose thread is this anyway? :(

ok, cj. you have sufficiently tortured and punished yourself for this evening so you are now permitted to not feel guilty for being a fuckup again until tomorrow. yay!

[jonny-5]

Ah yes, let's all sit and wallow in our junkie-misery!

This is somewhat related...

The first time I ran out, before I started to get real WD's, I remember feeling this tremendous sadness. Looking down at the last two pills in the bottle, I felt like somebody close to me had passed away.
And then I was just stunned at the fact, that the absense of some pills could make me feel that way.
Anyone else ever tried something like this?

It's not as prevalent these days. The knowledge of what is going to happen to me over the next 72 hours or so, kinda blows the sadness out of the water. But a part of it is still there.

I was really intrigued by the fact, that running out of pills could bring such a tremendous feeling of loss and sadness, but then I saw a post on opiophile.

Someone quoted an article, that explained how romantic feelings, falling in love and staying in love, are regulated by, and releases large amounts of endorphines. So is this wht happens to us junkies? We actually, biochemically speaking, fall in love with our opies? That would explain the sadness and loss I felt back then, hell, that I still feel sometimes, when I know I'm about to run out...

Any thoughts?

yea this is definitely true for me. even when the worst of the wds are over and im well into the paws stage i still have this kinda homesick feeling, like you have the first time you go away to summer camp when youre a kid or something. i feel like ive lost a best friend, or like the love of my life was killed in a car accident and ill never get to see her again.

[EleusisII]

i feel like ive lost a best friend, or like the love of my life was killed in a car accident and ill never get to see her again.

Hell yeah, that's exactly the feeling... I guess it isn't the first time a fellow opiophile made me say: Damn, I thought I was the only one! :)

[Narkotikon]

I agree with what you're saying. I always thought of it as extreme loneliness. Like, when I start to come down and right before the bad w/d starts, I get this really depressed feeling like I'm all alone. Just alone. It permeates me. It's in every cell. Loneliness. I guess that's just me crashing, but damn it's brutal.

And someone said they think of bad things in w/d. I thought I was the only one who did that, that's what surprised me. It's not like I try to think about the bad shit that has happened to me in w/d, but it just pops into my mind. And the more I try to repress it and not think about it, the more I do. I don't necessarily think I consciously use to deal / cope with those bad things specifically, but I'm sure it works out that way on some level. Whenever I'm in w/d, or even under-medicated, I just think of those things. Like shitty stuff from my childhood, embarrassing things that I did as an adult that I'd rather not remember. For some reason w/d is like some guy with a slide-show making me see all of those things.

[metric man]

[quote=resorcinol;310453
The next worse is the chills and cold sensitivity alternating with hot flashes. I can't stop shivering! *puts a blanket on* .... one minute later.... FUCK it's hot under here! *throws blanket off* ... then proceed to shiver even worse than before the blanket came into the picture in the first place. Nasty.[/quote]

That's the worst for me, along with the restless body syndrome.

[dieselbaby]

Yeah, other than taking opiates for the recreational value, I also need to take them for the analgesic properties. I have two super super super fucked up shoulders, which have dislocated and popped out of the socket at least 75-100 times each. It's excruciatingly painful and they hurt all the fucking time...they are permanently fucked up and I'm going to need major surgery to reconstruct the ligaments which are so loose that the humeral head will pop out of place from something so small as reaching in the backseat of my car from the front passenger seat. The pain is just so much worse when I'm going through withdrawals and it's even easier for them to pop out as well. Whackkkkkkkkk :mad::(

[SurfRat]

All I have ever had is agitation and restlessness.


Reading this thread.

I hope there's a lot of *curious types* who read this thread,

withdrawal sounds really bad.



yea this is definitely true for me. even when the worst of the wds are over and im well into the paws stage i still have this kinda homesick feeling, like you have the first time you go away to summer camp when youre a kid or something. i feel like ive lost a best friend, or like the love of my life was killed in a car accident and ill never get to see her again.

I do understand that.
Opies can almost replace your need for people. Almost.
And all of the behaviors are so profound, I mean there's nothing else that is like that unless you love someone.

[Duckfeet]

For some reason, I always think back to the early seventies, when I still thought I could run away from this shit, and had a beautiful old lady, all kinds of shit to live for, and threw her in the car--down in Orange County, and headed up north to San Francisco, to start over, quit dope, all that...and got up to Big Sur, and it was so beautiful, and I was so happy and hopeful about everything...and then by Monterrey, I ran out of dope, and reality set in, and I grabbed her and headed south...

Got really sick around south of Big Sur, around Cayucas, and we stopped there, and I got sick as a dog, w/diarreah every twenty minutes or so, was so miserable, plus we were broke and cramped together in this van, and the cold sweats and shits, and then the just overwhelming depression and all of it, and too sick and broke to do anything but lay there and kick...

Finally, about three days of that shit, I decided to head back to the OCpits, start stealing and jump in to serious junky life with both feet, fuck it, and by Christmas of that year was in Orange County jail with two arrests for burglary, one in Newport Beach, several in Costa Mesa, all over, and suspect in about ten other ones..., they didn't even offer me probation, just prison, and I was soon to be headed for prison with a five to life...I was 24 years old...

Long time ago...sigh...:hanged:

[upstate_007]

and then by Monterrey, I ran out of dope, and reality set in, and I grabbed her and headed south...


Quitting always seems like a fantastic idea when you still have dope. Especially if the last memory of a kick is fairly distant. Then the reality sets in and panic/survival take over.

[Consumed.]

reading this thread made me feel like i was going to hyperventilate...ok hold on, breathe...breathe...

i have 3 that i hate the most. for me the worst part is FEAR. paralyzing and agonizing fear of every-fucking-thing in the world and the crushing feeling that i'll never be ok again. right after that is the intolerable combination of extreme weakness and extreme restlessness. like i'm too weak to even crawl to the kitchen to get something to drink BUT at the same time i'm so restless i have to roll around on the floor or hang halfway off the bed to try to shake the creepy crawly feelings off, which doesn't work but it's too excruciating not to. (what is wrong with me? why am i doing this to myself? stupid. anyway...)

i dunno, i'm thinking these are all pretty equal except for the fact that i MIGHT be capable of handling the physical symptoms if i wasn't terrified and hopeless. # 3 is the feeling that i have to hold myself together to keep my insides from falling out. that's the only way i can explain it. like this really shaky, precarious, liquidy feeling that all of my insides are going to fall out or i'm going to crumble so i have to keep rolling up in a ball or sitting with my arms wrapped around my stomach or my knees to hold everything in. this is so hard to think about!! whose thread is this anyway? :(

ok, cj. you have sufficiently tortured and punished yourself for this evening so you are now permitted to not feel guilty for being a fuckup again until tomorrow. yay!



Ya know Cherry everyone has mentioned somewhat different parts of w/ds they hate BUT I think they are really all the same fuckin thing and no one can really escape any of em.... Cause the more i read this thread, Im like "yeah, I hate that one too, oh yeah that one's a real bitch." Then "fuck, wait" that one real sucks!

and +2 for Ducks paragraph, awesome

[OxyContinuously]

I was going to add that during withdrawal, like Nark was saying, seemingly banal daily nuances that we think nothing of any other day, suddenly take on great significance and generate a lot of extraneous worry that we know is irrational, yet have no control over...

I like to say that my "generalized anxiety" becomes more general

Ps--i don't really suffer from that made up condition,, but I had to parrot back the symptoms of something good to the compnay shrink in order for her to prescribe benzos for me, specifically Xanax!

[The_Highwayman]

Two major things, the first is the cold sweats ,I would constantly be cold and when I got the point that IO needed it everyday, my clock was 14 hours, it was when fall was turning into winter so I was really fuckin cold...

The worst was the anxiety, I get anxious easily as it is, but the anxiety would casue me to have HORRIBLE stomach pain, that would make me puke, but not in nauesous way but it my stomach was retching itself inside out

[The_Highwayman]

Oh God, someone mentioned "that smell" that toxic sweat smell you get, on my god sometimes I Stilcan smell it and it scares the hell out of me...

[Consumed.]

Oh God, someone mentioned "that smell" that toxic sweat smell you get, on my god sometimes I Stilcan smell it and it scares the hell out of me...

Thats funny cause people that where around me who didnt do it said they could smell it on me and in my house. I never quite picked up the actual smell for it. Like my ex says the smell makes her sick and she smell it on someone on the subway if they have it. Another time I went to a show at the museum nat hist and a friend of mine said he could smell it on me. I dunno know if i believe it or if their association of me and it

[starglazer33]

The stomach pain, depression and anxiety/cold sweats, insomnia and severe diarrhea, all at once I just can't take. THere are times i can handle some of it but when it all comes crumblin' down all at once it,.. just so overwhelming i cant' take it. Im' a puss. The weakness and the strange shortwet dreams suck too.

My ears pop real bad and sinus are all fuct up. Is the ear popping thing common? I did'nt acquire that symptom til' m.done w/d's.

Yup pretty much nobody likes to be sick. My most hated part is when it all hits all at once.When your full on and you know it, yunno, day 3 and 4 and so on.

[blutuesday]

By far, the restless arms/legs. It makes me want to jump out of my 8th story apartment window.

2nd, the not sleeping for 323939002020 days on end.

[matfield]

oh now that i had to face wd's again a lot this year-i mean full blown-due to kickin done, relapse and so on like i hadn't for almost 8 years (on done) i realized how i almost had forgotten how bad it it really is.
its weird how you tend to almost forget how miserable you felt during wd once you are through-until you are going through it again. then you remember and ask yourself how the hell could you just put yourself another time into it.
well for me it also starts with depression...although this is a state of mind i can sometimes even kind of "enjoy" because its more like being melancholic. when listening to music, watching movies etc. is just way more intense. but thats only for the fist hours..then anxiety and real depression kicks in. and physical symptons grow.

then-2 day- worst for me is nowadays restless body and sleepless nights plus this total despair that time just wont go by and you have to sit this out at least for another 48 hours.
actually this whole body feeling is unbearable to me. i just feel so "dirty". i smell (due to monkey sweat) and i can feel the sweat running down my back and my armpits while im freezing and shivering. thats the most disgusting feeling i know. yeah and to feel so weak and exhausted yet so nervous.

thwowing up was never a major problem for me when i was in wd but now it got one of the worst symptons i have. throwing up all the time until theres nothing left in my stomache and dry heaving.

oh and i can totally relate to you who said they can only think of BAD things during wd.
only negative thoughts as well as being super sensitive like crying over a commercial..

and not only that taste and smell (hate that one too. threw up once because i could smell a persons hair!) is way too intense. dont you get this "cramps" in your mouth if you eat something-especially something sour for example..? not nice either...

all in all just pure hell..

[Narkotikon]

About the insomnia / restless legs thing. Every doctor I've ever told about w/d has always told me to take Benadryl to make me sleep when in w/d (because they refuse to prescribe anything like a benzo), and the strange thing is 1.) it does make me sleepy, but I'm still not able to sleep; and 2.) the Benadryl actually makes my legs jerk / ache more. I read on wiki about it. For some reason, diphenhydramine can exacerbate RLS in some people. I don't exactly know why, but I told that to a doctor once, and they refused to believe me. I can't take a lot of Benadryl while in w/d, or it just makes the legs a lot worse. It's really weird. I can maybe take 25mg, but 1.) that's not going to do much, and 2.) if I take more it makes the legs worse. So, for me, Benadryl doesn't do much in w/d.

[Consumed.]

The stomach pain, depression and anxiety/cold sweats, insomnia and severe diarrhea, all at once I just can't take. THere are times i can handle some of it but when it all comes crumblin' down all at once it,.. just so overwhelming i cant' take it. Im' a puss. The weakness and the strange shortwet dreams suck too.

My ears pop real bad and sinus are all fuct up. Is the ear popping thing common? I did'nt acquire that symptom til' m.done w/d's.

Yup pretty much nobody likes to be sick. My most hated part is when it all hits all at once.When your full on and you know it, yunno, day 3 and 4 and so on.

Your no puss man, we all get the same horrible feeling.

I think a lot of people get that ear popping too. Mines more like an ear quivering like i hear the ocean like i have a shell up to my ear constantly.

[upstate_007]

all this is why I want to punch anyone in the face who says "just stop, how hard can it be"

[blutuesday]

all this is why I want to punch anyone in the face who says "just stop, how hard can it be"

Right! Tell those people to go a week with out their fav bag of potato chips or their drinks. Without their favorite show etc. And those things arent even physically addictive. I challenged my parents this way once on their alcoholic bevs, and of course they didnt try but my mom sad "yea, but all we are doing is alcohol, not that shite you stick into your veins.

Exactly!

[Duckfeet]

I want my ashes thrown in the sea, but if I had a tombstone, those should be the words put on it, as truer words were never spoken: kicking always seems a fine idea, until you do it, then it's like: what the fuck was I thinking...and it never ends...that's one thing we *never* totally get, which is why often, when I'd kick, I'd take off for somewhere I thought I couldn't cop, no matter *what*, so that when reality would set in, I'd be too sick to score...but of course, that just prolongs the agony, and now the "private" methadone clinics have made it way too easy to get on methadone, so kicking takes on all kinds of new dimmensions, where "running" doesn't work as good as it used to...

Quitting always seems like a fantastic idea when you still have dope. Especially if the last memory of a kick is fairly distant. Then the reality sets in and panic/survival take over.

And worst of all, now I think of it, is right before serious withdrawals start, I'll get *really* sleepy, just have to lay down somewhere, and take one of those *hard* naps, and wake up all groggy and fucking sick sick sick...the hellnap, and I never want to take it, try to stay awake, because when I wake up...I'm in hell...

[limestoneman]

That debilitating aching feeling in my bones that makes me unmotivated.
all this is why I want to punch anyone in the face who says "just stop, how hard can it be"
I'd rather put them on dope for two years and cut them off. Answers the question better.

[bigNasty]

all of them. But i really hate the sneezing/runny nose

and like narko and others have said, I'll think about bad/sad shit from a long time ago and it'll get to me

[Dan Steely]

Overwhelming, inconsolable, climbing the walls, edge of insanity anxiety. Benzos make all the diff in the world for me in that situation. Everything else I can endure but that anxiety is so bad that I just simply will not allow it to happen. I think ahead. In my 2 yrs of opiate use I have not even gotten to day 2 of wd. About a year ago I suffered for about 15 hrs like that. A couple valiums got me through it and it taught me the lesson to not put myself in that situation. Now with bupe it's much easier too since I can stretch an 8mg for 2 weeks and usually have 3 or more around. Yes my habit and tolerance are pretty low. Last winter I suffered a 6 week taper to get it that way. That was pre bupe. The day after I scored a couple of really crappy bundles my dealer got popped. Made the news and everything. So I was kind of forced into it. Man getting high makes me chatty.:rolleyes: "This one time..."

[dieselbaby]

And worst of all, now I think of it, is right before serious withdrawals start, I'll get *really* sleepy, just have to lay down somewhere, and take one of those *hard* naps, and wake up all groggy and fucking sick sick sick...the hellnap, and I never want to take it, try to stay awake, because when I wake up...I'm in hell...

Ducky my good man...see the post I started this thread with. Exactly the same thing happens to me, in that order that I wrote.

[Duckfeet]

Yup, I'd seen that: I always feel I can hold off withdrawals until that "nap," and then it's over...so I always used to drink, go to bars, do *anything* to stay awake...but of course, there's no denying the devil his due, as they say: no way I've ever found: you pay, you play...


Ducky my good man...see the post I started this thread with. Exactly the same thing happens to me, in that order that I wrote.