A few detox ramblings

[upstate_007]

So, Upstate is kicking again. I'll spare the details, you all know what it's like. I just had surgery to hopefully end my chronic pain and I decided to get off the meds to see what a pain free life feels like. That's why I am not whining too much. I'ts all self inflicted.

A few observations from my travails today.......

1. So much of kicking is mental. I feel like utter shit, but I have no cravings at all. I am too excited to see how I feel in a few days to want to fuck it up. I have even passed up on some freebies.

2. Mentally ill people are on a totally different wavelength. There is a sort of group home just down the block for mentally ill adults. I was walking (exercise helps a lot) back from a pint of Strongbow and there was a guy on the porch of the home. He did not acknowledge anyone as they walked by. Not a word. Not a glance. Didn't even turn his head. Until another mentally ill guy walked down the block towards him. He got down off the porch and greeted the other guy. They hugged. He asked what his name was. "Hi Bill, I live here, where do you live, etc etc". Fucking amazing. Two outcasts of society who had some sort of radar to find their own kind to help make it through the world.

3. Everything hurts my eyes when kicking. Way too bright. So I end up walking around town in all black, with sunglasses, a sweatshirt, and old shoes. I saw my reflection and it was a junky. Way to go there champ! Fulfill the prophecy. Become the stereotype.

[Thebane]

3. Everything hurts my eyes when kicking. Way too bright. So I end up walking around town in all black, with sunglasses, a sweatshirt, and old shoes. I saw my reflection and it was a junky. Way to go there champ! Fulfill the prophecy. Become the stereotype.

Hope you make it through the kick as painlessly as possible. And who cares if you look like a junky, fuck what other people think about you. You're doing what you have to do for yourself, it doesn't matter what the world thinks of you and honestly most people probably never gave you a second glance.

[Raz]

Naw not no junky...You is that guy "vic Reeves"......Remember never mind the buzzcocks...;) Good luck on the kick bro,i'm on day 2 no chaseing...But i still got my methadone,otherwise i would truly be in hell...I hope your ting aint too much of a nightmare.....And dont last too long....

[upstate_007]

Naw not no junky...You is that guy "vic Reeves"......Remember never mind the buzzcocks...;)

Ah yes. And besides. I suppose bein a junky aint all bad anyway.

[Raz]

Could be worse mate, like "homeless broke junky"......I swear you could def get away wiv impersonating that guy in the UK...

[upstate_007]

Could be worse mate, like "homeless broke junky"......I swear you could def get away wiv impersonating that guy in the UK...

I've been that kinda junky before and it is a far cry from my current state of "office job, nice house, pretty wife, cute dog, nasty habit kinda junky."

I showed my wife a photo of Vic and she was freaked out by it. She said she has never seen someone look more like me. Strange. I do have English ancestry within the last couple generations. Who knows.

[Nate]

Good luck dude!

Everyday gets easier, hang in there, you can do it!

[Dune]

Congrats Upstate! I envy your control and ambitions. I agree that exercise makes a huge difference. They say (they=fellow Opies) that it is the natural chems that stimulate the receptors in the same way the pills did. Keep up the good work. What kind of surgery did you have if you don't mind me asking?

[HMMM...]

So, Upstate is kicking again. I'll spare the details, you all know what it's like. I just had surgery to hopefully end my chronic pain and I decided to get off the meds to see what a pain free life feels like. That's why I am not whining too much. I'ts all self inflicted.

A few observations from my travails today.......

1. So much of kicking is mental. I feel like utter shit, but I have no cravings at all. I am too excited to see how I feel in a few days to want to fuck it up. I have even passed up on some freebies.

2. Mentally ill people are on a totally different wavelength. There is a sort of group home just down the block for mentally ill adults. I was walking (exercise helps a lot) back from a pint of Strongbow and there was a guy on the porch of the home. He did not acknowledge anyone as they walked by. Not a word. Not a glance. Didn't even turn his head. Until another mentally ill guy walked down the block towards him. He got down off the porch and greeted the other guy. They hugged. He asked what his name was. "Hi Bill, I live here, where do you live, etc etc". Fucking amazing. Two outcasts of society who had some sort of radar to find their own kind to help make it through the world.

3. Everything hurts my eyes when kicking. Way too bright. So I end up walking around town in all black, with sunglasses, a sweatshirt, and old shoes. I saw my reflection and it was a junky. Way to go there champ! Fulfill the prophecy. Become the stereotype.


If you were a true stereo typical junky I don't think you would ever pass up a freebee. Seems to me

like your a decent man that just got caught up like most of us but have abmition to make a change or

at least care enough to not just say "fuck it." That takes a lot in itself.

[Saint]

So, Upstate is kicking again.
3. Everything hurts my eyes when kicking. Way too bright. So I end up walking around town in all black, with sunglasses, a sweatshirt, and old shoes. I saw my reflection and it was a junky. Way to go there champ! Fulfill the prophecy. Become the stereotype.

God that sounds familiar. Ever since I quit done I'm wearing sunglasses most of the time. However dark, the outside world just seems too bright, can't put up with the light.
And old comfy clothes too, any fiber other than soft cotton hurts your skin. Dressing up fancy seems like climbing the Mt Everest.
Guess I don't look like a lady when detoxing but fuck all.

Just wanted to wish you good luck with the detox, Upstate. You deserve some.

[frankie]

good luck to you man, i know you will be alright. Just hang on in there and remember we all have to be something in this world and if you feel like you are looking like a junky it's only because your going thru all of this. i am sure you look good but i hope that you get to feeling better real soon, hang in there and remember you always have your friends here if you need to talk...peace

[Badly Drawn Girl]

Best of luck to you Upstate. I hope you soon discover a new pain free existence. Hang in there as your body gets clean.

[Raz]

Dont know what meds your stopping, but i hope you get through it as fast as possible...