Unintentional Addicts Iquire within

[Opiyum]

Just wondering if those of you who became addicted to opiates due to an unfortunate stint in a hospital or smoking opiated weed, without knowing, harbor any sort of resentment towards the drug?

And do those of you who have prescriptions for legitimate pain management feel that your life has been flawed or ruined in anyway by the drug? Do you feel like you've missed oppurtunities because of opiates? Or no?

This may be none of my business, and thats fine, but its purely to fullfill one of the many curious itches I get.

[AWOL]

I would also like to know.

[youwonhundred]

As a chronic pain patient, and one who has been on opiates of one form or another for 15 years or so, I gotta say, no resentment or anything. If it wasn't for drugs, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed some days. I'd rather be thoroughly addicted than live with pain.

My two cents, right there.

[Sumocat]

Well, I had an unfortunate stint a few years ago. The thing is I didn't really enjoy the painkillers at the time. In fact, they did next to nothing for the pain. Plus, *being* in pain pretty much eliminated any pleasant effects. Who knows, maybe the dosage wasn't high enough? I don't even remember how much I got prescribed.

Anyways, my surgeon had offered a refill and I actually *turned him down* on it ;) The possibility of enjoying or benefiting from opiates just wasn't on my mind.

Fast forward a couple months and I'm still having residual pain from my injury, plus new pains just from compensating. A SWIM w/a hefty script offers up some 10/325's. FINALLY, I understood.

Haven't had any here in quite some time, though. No sources or scripts. The *only* thing I have a big problem with is knowing what helps and knowing it isn't easy for me to get access to it. Most of the time I'm alright with being 'dry'...its just those days when I could really use some pain relief and/or a way to chill out sans alcohol that I sort of wish I didn't *know* how well opiates would do the job.

[halfalien_s4]

i agree with u 100, i would rather be dependant on opiates my whole life, than live it in pain. as a CP also i have absolutly no resentment whatsoever. in fact, i couldnt be happier! i have a great source for supply of my opies from my PM doc and i can funtion! in fact some of my greatest days and memories have been on opies. ive never looked back as far as thats concerned. i think opiates r a godsend and they should be legal for everyone....and to grow them.....FUCK the dea and cops!

[bronyraur]

As a CP patient I can't say that I feel like my life is flawed/ruined by opiates. Just as a diabetic takes medication to control their diabetes, I take opiates to control my pain.

However, I used opiates illicitly before I actually needed them to be pain free day to day.

I knew full well what I was getting into. And I have no regrets.

[axe]

The *only* thing I have a big problem with is knowing what helps and knowing it isn't easy for me to get access to it. Most of the time I'm alright with being 'dry'...its just those days when I could really use some pain relief and/or a way to chill out sans alcohol that I sort of wish I didn't *know* how well opiates would do the job.

Yes, I agree 100% with that. But "enforced" chipping makes it much more enjoyable for me when I do have product. There's pros and cons to everything.

axe

[devilsdrug]

i was a thrill seeker first now im a painkiller

[Opiyum]

haha....I like that. Im gonna start using that one.....

I would also like to know.

I was really suprised to see this one on the active topics list. It took a little under a year to get a reply but better late than never. It makes me happy to realize that all the crap I have posted in the last that is way back in the archive is not necessarily going to just collect dust. Someone as brilliant as DV may find their way back to that stuff.

Thanks for bumping this one DV.

[AWOL]

I have always wondered the same thing bro. I did meet a couple of people one time when I was in the looney bin who had a huge resentment for opiates, and were there to get clean. But my guess is that they must have forgoten how bad reality sucks to be makin such statments :confused-

Or they ran out of money / supply, one of the two.

[Opiyum]

Yeah there was a thread awhile back asking if you had the chance to go back and choose not to use opiates would you. In other words do you regret ever using themto the ? After thinking about it for a bit I realized that a question like that has alot to do with whether the person is high or not. If they are then of course the answer(especially for those who recently starting their careerr) "Hell no!" and if they are sick as all hell then thats obviously going to effect their answer. So that and also another factor would be time. how long they have been addicted to the point of sickness without plays a part.
Bottom line I guess would be that if you ask a junky this question every month for two years your going to get alot of different answers.

Still its interesting to me to know how people, that became addicted to opiates as a result of an injury or the likes as opposed to a choice or through experiamentation , feel about opiates.
I'm they have mixed feelings because without them the pain would be unbearable and they wouldnt be able to live their life like they did before the injury but at the same time there are those damn consequences we all know so well.

Oh....by the way....can you give me an ETA on when satan will kill me? I mean is this like 100% gaurantee or what? Seriously cause if I knew then I would make damn sure that that last week would a good one. Pharmacy windows would be broken. Arms covered in scabs. Weed smoked. There are at least three people i would punch in the face and of course id tell mommy i loved her....then id fly to florida and puch dad in the face as well....hehe....time for booze!

[Ragdoll]

Yeah, I wish I didn't have to be on ANY drugs, meds, whatever. I wish I was perfect. Unfortunately, such is hardly the case, so here I am, grateful for what I am on because without it....IF I were still alive, life would be pretty damn awful for me.

dv, thanks for the warning. What would I do without you, my leetle lambie? :D

[AWOL]

Satan will kill you all in Aprox 10 years from today. Exactly. That's why I made today let's all get high day (http://forum.opiophile.org/calendar.php)

... and with reagrds to booze, I can't put it any better than Nick. Regardless of satan and dying and all that, "It's always time for booze" (http://forum.opiophile.org/showthread.php?p=97932#post97932) Thanks for the wisdom Nick, words to live by right there.

[Boudica]

dv, R U tellin' me I've got 10 fucking years left on this shite planet?!! Geez:D >If I've gotta stay alive there's no way I would EVER go back to my pre-opiated state. I've been on them for around 10 yrs. now, with the last 2 yrs. on really good ones. The state I was in when I was referred to my currant PM Doc was beyond suicidal. I mean the night before my first appt. w/her I wrote letters to my kids, made sure I had enuff morph and valium to do the job and said to myself "I will not live one more day in this kind of pain. I'm done". Seriously, I had had all I could take, with each day worse than the last. Wrote a song that nite, too and recorded it, called "I Wish That I Would Die". Here's my favorite verse:

Suicides' a crime
so if I fail I could do time
isn't that just fucking sublime
they even own my right to die...

That pretty much say it in a nutshell where my head was at because of the PAIN I was in for so long from having Lupus, one nasty fuckin' disease, as some other wimmyn on this board will tell you. And by the grace of god or the devil, it don't matter who, this Doc got me out of pain that next day. For the first time in years, I was able to start coming back to life again. She has not dissappointed me nor undermedicated me since. I will take being "addicted" over being in that kind of pain again anyday.

ps: When you're in severe pain, every mg. of medication goes toward getting the pain under control. So you have to have big enough doses once in a while to feel "really good". Love them first couple weeks of the month...:)