shaunclo
02-20-2005, 02:21 AM
THIS POST IS FOR ALL OPIATE ADDICTED PERSONS WHO ARE JUST SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED!!!! I have been a heroin junkie for almost 3 years. At first everything is fine and beautiful, and seems like there is no problem. Before you know it, your life starts taking a turn for the worse. You lose your job, your girlfriend/boyfriend dumps you due to not being there. All your savings is starting to dry up, etc. Heroin use is a like a warm blanket that keeps you nice and fuzzy all the time. But I dont care who you are, sooner or later that blanket turns into an octopus that before you know it has every one of its tentacles wrapped around you so tightly you can barley breath. Slowly you start to compromise the most important things in your life to make your heroin use come first. Before you know it, you have become a slave of heroin. Slowly but surely you start to compromise things in your life that you thought you would never put in jeopardy. Then one day, you look at yourself and wonder how the hell this ever got so out of control. This happens to everyone sooner ot later. There is no such thing as having fun with heroin. It is a lie you tell yourself and others just to keep up your addiction.
I have never had a problem with addiction. I always just had "fun" every now and then with miscellaneous drugs. But just like everyone else, I fell victim to the junkie lifestyle. I was stealing from friends and my family (the people that meant the most to me) just to make me feel alright. I tried on multiple ocassions to slowly taper down to an amount that I thought would be acceptable, when this didnt work I tried to quit cold turkey. Over and over and over again. This wasnt possible for me. I decided that the only solution I had left was to take my own life for the good of my family, friends and myself. So I pawned the last thing I had left of worth to me (my acoustic guitar, which was the love of my life) went and bought what I thought would be my last bag, and went out to do the unspeakable.
Now what you need to understand is that I had absolutely no more hope. I had given into the idea that I couldnt be saved. I felt like I had tried every possible solution there was, and that I just couldnt go on without Heroin. I was down to my last bag which I had bought with the last of my money and I was completely SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED. So I went out to my car which was in a closed off garage, swallowed a couple of 10 mg valium and started my car. I was willing and ready to give up my life so I would not have to deal with the fact that I was just another junkie that everyone despised and looked down on. (including myself) I nodded off after about 15 minutes of crying and feeling so pathetic and sorry for myself........................
...................All of a sudden I had waken up (mysteriously) after about a 1/2 hour of breathing toxic fumes from my car. I had no idea where I was or what it was I was doing sitting in my car almost coughing my guts up. I somehow got my car door opened and kinda fell out of the car hitting the cold floor. I could barely see, let alone move. I slowly crawled toward the garage door, while coughing blood out of my lungs, (or so it seemed) grabbed hold of the door and with all my might I managaed to open the door and pull myself (I was barley conscious at this point) safely out of the carbon-monoxide filled room. I then fell unconscious, laying there half-dead for almost 6 hours. I was woken up by a neighbor that thought I was drunk and helped me into my parents home.
The next day, I realized that I was still here......still breathing..........and still able to speak. It then hit me that I had just tried to commit suicide and failed. I felt a wave of gratitude roll over every inch of my body. I realized at that moment that my life is a precious and wonderful thing. I realized that trying to commit suicide was not the answer to my disease, but just a selfish act that would have left my family and loved ones with such grief they dont deserve. I decided that my life was seriously out of control and that I needed professional help.
I had heard about this new method of detox for opiate addicts called Suboxone. I found a doctor in my area and made an appointment for the following day. Now at this point, I knew I wasnt going to last much longer unless I got off heroin. I couldnt handle the cold turkey withdrawel, and I just couldnt taper myself down enough to kick it. This is the first thing you MUST ACCEPT before you decide to make the switch to Suboxone. YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE POWERLESS AGAINST HEROIN, AND THAT HELP IS NEEDED. The next day I arrived at the Doctors office, (and I was scared shitless of what to expect) He asked me a couple of questions and I had to fill out a couple of forms. I was then given a dose of Subutrex, which I was instructed to put under my tongue and let dissolve. After that, I was given a brief description and directions of when and how to use a variety of miscellaneous pills I would need to take home with me along with the Suboxone. ex: lomitol (stool softener), phenobarbital (for anxiety), neurontin (anxiety & sleep aid), etc, etc. About 1/2 hour after the initial dose of Subutrex, I was starting to feel the withdrawel symptons melt away. I was amazed and in awe that I was feeling better already! I was sent home with 1 days worth of Suboxone, and was instructed to come back the following day for a check-up.
THE FOLLOWING DAY: I woke up feeling like I had a 100 pound weight lifted off of my head and body. I felt better that day than I had felt in over 3 years. Not just physically but mentally as well. So, I went to see my Doctor the next day, and explained to him I had slight leg pains, but nothing too bad. He said it is normal and that I will begin to feel as right as I felt before I started using. THAT WAS THE COMPLETE AND TOTAL TRUTH. It was all down stream and easy sailing after that. I had even tried the methadone treatment a couple times, but never succeeded. THERE IS AN ANSWER TO OPIATE ADDICTION, AND IF YOUR SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED......SUBOXONE IS FOR YOU!!!
Heroin successfully murdered, raped and destroyed every good and precious thing I had worked so hard to achieve in my life. The next thing it was after was my life itself. It is never too late to have a new bright beginning. There is no such thing as a lost cause. I am living, breathing, walking proof that we are lucky enough to live in an age that has such great innovative solutions to even Heroin addiction. NO MATTER HOW WEAK YOU MIGHT FEEL, NO MATTER HOW DEEP YOU HAVE FALLEN, AND NO MATTER HOW HELPLESS YOU MIGHT FEEL, THERE IS A SOLUTION WAITING FOR YOU.......WHETHER ITS SUBOXONE, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR PARENTS, YOUR FAMILY, OR YOUR LOVED ONES, I AM HERE TO SAY THAT HELP IS SO MUCH CLOSER THAN YOU MIGHT THINK.....AND THAT YOU, ARE DEFINITELY WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU MIGHT THINK..........everyone is admired and loved by someone, whether you believe so or not, and every single person in this world is capable of achieving the impossible, no matter what the odds.......In short..........The only boundaries and obstacles that truly exist are the limitations we put up ourselves.......NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, you are only bound by yourself. There is no such thing as failure, it only exists when you give up and sell yourself short.
Try to make some small goals you know you can achieve, then try and make bigger goals your not sure you can accomplish. Before you know it....you will understand that the word "impossible" was made up by some small-minded, scared individual who gave up before ever trying, and that the only person who believes in the word "impossible," is someone who is just looking for an excuse not to try.......LIVE EVERYDAY OF YOUR LIFE WITHOUT EXCUSES, AND WITHOUT THOSE INVISIBLE BARRIERS WE PRETEND ARE THERE. INSTEAD LIVE EVERYDAY OF YOUR LIFE, AS IF THE WORD "IMPOSSIBLE" NEVER EXISTED.
:)
I have never had a problem with addiction. I always just had "fun" every now and then with miscellaneous drugs. But just like everyone else, I fell victim to the junkie lifestyle. I was stealing from friends and my family (the people that meant the most to me) just to make me feel alright. I tried on multiple ocassions to slowly taper down to an amount that I thought would be acceptable, when this didnt work I tried to quit cold turkey. Over and over and over again. This wasnt possible for me. I decided that the only solution I had left was to take my own life for the good of my family, friends and myself. So I pawned the last thing I had left of worth to me (my acoustic guitar, which was the love of my life) went and bought what I thought would be my last bag, and went out to do the unspeakable.
Now what you need to understand is that I had absolutely no more hope. I had given into the idea that I couldnt be saved. I felt like I had tried every possible solution there was, and that I just couldnt go on without Heroin. I was down to my last bag which I had bought with the last of my money and I was completely SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED. So I went out to my car which was in a closed off garage, swallowed a couple of 10 mg valium and started my car. I was willing and ready to give up my life so I would not have to deal with the fact that I was just another junkie that everyone despised and looked down on. (including myself) I nodded off after about 15 minutes of crying and feeling so pathetic and sorry for myself........................
...................All of a sudden I had waken up (mysteriously) after about a 1/2 hour of breathing toxic fumes from my car. I had no idea where I was or what it was I was doing sitting in my car almost coughing my guts up. I somehow got my car door opened and kinda fell out of the car hitting the cold floor. I could barely see, let alone move. I slowly crawled toward the garage door, while coughing blood out of my lungs, (or so it seemed) grabbed hold of the door and with all my might I managaed to open the door and pull myself (I was barley conscious at this point) safely out of the carbon-monoxide filled room. I then fell unconscious, laying there half-dead for almost 6 hours. I was woken up by a neighbor that thought I was drunk and helped me into my parents home.
The next day, I realized that I was still here......still breathing..........and still able to speak. It then hit me that I had just tried to commit suicide and failed. I felt a wave of gratitude roll over every inch of my body. I realized at that moment that my life is a precious and wonderful thing. I realized that trying to commit suicide was not the answer to my disease, but just a selfish act that would have left my family and loved ones with such grief they dont deserve. I decided that my life was seriously out of control and that I needed professional help.
I had heard about this new method of detox for opiate addicts called Suboxone. I found a doctor in my area and made an appointment for the following day. Now at this point, I knew I wasnt going to last much longer unless I got off heroin. I couldnt handle the cold turkey withdrawel, and I just couldnt taper myself down enough to kick it. This is the first thing you MUST ACCEPT before you decide to make the switch to Suboxone. YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE POWERLESS AGAINST HEROIN, AND THAT HELP IS NEEDED. The next day I arrived at the Doctors office, (and I was scared shitless of what to expect) He asked me a couple of questions and I had to fill out a couple of forms. I was then given a dose of Subutrex, which I was instructed to put under my tongue and let dissolve. After that, I was given a brief description and directions of when and how to use a variety of miscellaneous pills I would need to take home with me along with the Suboxone. ex: lomitol (stool softener), phenobarbital (for anxiety), neurontin (anxiety & sleep aid), etc, etc. About 1/2 hour after the initial dose of Subutrex, I was starting to feel the withdrawel symptons melt away. I was amazed and in awe that I was feeling better already! I was sent home with 1 days worth of Suboxone, and was instructed to come back the following day for a check-up.
THE FOLLOWING DAY: I woke up feeling like I had a 100 pound weight lifted off of my head and body. I felt better that day than I had felt in over 3 years. Not just physically but mentally as well. So, I went to see my Doctor the next day, and explained to him I had slight leg pains, but nothing too bad. He said it is normal and that I will begin to feel as right as I felt before I started using. THAT WAS THE COMPLETE AND TOTAL TRUTH. It was all down stream and easy sailing after that. I had even tried the methadone treatment a couple times, but never succeeded. THERE IS AN ANSWER TO OPIATE ADDICTION, AND IF YOUR SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED......SUBOXONE IS FOR YOU!!!
Heroin successfully murdered, raped and destroyed every good and precious thing I had worked so hard to achieve in my life. The next thing it was after was my life itself. It is never too late to have a new bright beginning. There is no such thing as a lost cause. I am living, breathing, walking proof that we are lucky enough to live in an age that has such great innovative solutions to even Heroin addiction. NO MATTER HOW WEAK YOU MIGHT FEEL, NO MATTER HOW DEEP YOU HAVE FALLEN, AND NO MATTER HOW HELPLESS YOU MIGHT FEEL, THERE IS A SOLUTION WAITING FOR YOU.......WHETHER ITS SUBOXONE, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR PARENTS, YOUR FAMILY, OR YOUR LOVED ONES, I AM HERE TO SAY THAT HELP IS SO MUCH CLOSER THAN YOU MIGHT THINK.....AND THAT YOU, ARE DEFINITELY WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU MIGHT THINK..........everyone is admired and loved by someone, whether you believe so or not, and every single person in this world is capable of achieving the impossible, no matter what the odds.......In short..........The only boundaries and obstacles that truly exist are the limitations we put up ourselves.......NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, you are only bound by yourself. There is no such thing as failure, it only exists when you give up and sell yourself short.
Try to make some small goals you know you can achieve, then try and make bigger goals your not sure you can accomplish. Before you know it....you will understand that the word "impossible" was made up by some small-minded, scared individual who gave up before ever trying, and that the only person who believes in the word "impossible," is someone who is just looking for an excuse not to try.......LIVE EVERYDAY OF YOUR LIFE WITHOUT EXCUSES, AND WITHOUT THOSE INVISIBLE BARRIERS WE PRETEND ARE THERE. INSTEAD LIVE EVERYDAY OF YOUR LIFE, AS IF THE WORD "IMPOSSIBLE" NEVER EXISTED.
:)