Opiates kill My Spirit

[sidman]

That is what I've noticed several times. Whenever I develop a mean Habit, I no longer care about much.Then when I find myself without them and I grow sick,I am the cruelest,meanest,miserable M.F.!
When I kick it, and I have stayed off for a while,then my Spirit comes back and I can Enjoy Freind's,music,movies,drawing,writing stories/poetry, and alot of things that while I am "using",become third rate. Even If I only "chip",my spirit is drained the next day.....This suck's and once again I wonder why we can't get high without consequence dammit!! I am clean now,(well,I mean,I don't have a "habit")and thank god my Spirit is back,but you know what? If someone plopped a bag down in front of me ,I'd do it!! W.T.F!!

[antony]

I am exactly the same way...I'll become very moody, piss my friends, parents, and just be a all around jag off, which i normally am, but its when the euphoria just kicks in where i am a great guy, but as soon as that wears off, im a total prick. and they say from research, opiates do that, so i kinda expect it and hide more, which pisses people off more, then i when im off whatever im doing for a week, i come outta my cave, and have drinks with my friends, and sorta friendly again!

Just gotta trade something for something else i suppose.

oh yea, i become a real fuck head when im fiending aand can't find shit. but i figure thats with everybody and everything.

[devilsdrug]

oh gee really wow

[Opiyum]

You may be doing them for the wrong reasons. I dont mean to sound like I'm way on top of this because I have had the same problems. My theory is that sometimes without the individuals knowledge in the middle of your ?carreer? you start useing for a different reason. And part of me thinks that the opiates then keep you frozen in that difficult to get through moment whatever the reason is. Sometimes, maybe most of the time, its the cause of using in itself... in which case you need to realize this... then more importantly do something about it. Quit for a while and reevaluate. Know that you can come back to them soon enough...come back to enjoy....so it becomes an accessory to other good things in your life as opposed to the only thing in your life.

Do it to prove the bastards wrong. Do it for the junkies who were publicly executed in communist china. Do it for papaver. Oh yeah do it for you.

I think this escape from the whirlwind that opiate use can become can be obtained with suboxone. Take time off in good spirits and get whatever shit you have to get done in your life done and know that youll be able to kick your feet up and blow a couple lines and be happy about how you fixed the furnace or painted that room, or called that friend, or whatever the fuck you do with yourself.

For instance I havent used for two weeks and three days(minus a couple of K-pins and bud) because I got a new job and wanted to be straight. but this weekend Ill tell you what I get paid friday and Im getting fucked up friday difference being that I have a good head on my shoulders. I accomplished two weeks of work.

I did good and so can you.

Post Script---Lastly one good tip for chipping which you might already be aware of is, like for me this weekend have some benzo's for the day after. This will lower your chance of using two days in a row. A good movie and nugs same thing....If youve got the money coke and a prostitute will keep you happy and distracted..

"Its as if our country is trying to say "In nonsense is strentgh"."
Kurt Vonnegut
I sure am posting a lot today and I got no buzz whatsoever.