help i need some advice

[frankie]

Hello to anyone who is reading this. My problem is that i have a fiance and we are both cp patients who are opiate addicted. However, he has no interest in sex whatsoever, he says that it is not me but him. he also says he no longer has a sex drive we haven't been together for awhile, i am starting to doubt my myself and this relationship. I think i have been more than patient with him but i am ready to walk bcoz i am beginning to think that it's me, but he says he has no sex drive coz of the oxycontin and norco usage, i am very fustrated emotionally and would appreciate any feedback from you...thanks for reading...


frankie

[rockbottom]

its a known fact high opiates reduce sex drive. get him to try viagra. if he says its not you its probably the opiates. :cool:

[nick]

Hello to anyone who is reading this. My problem is that i have a fiance and we are both cp patients who are opiate addicted. However, he has no interest in sex whatsoever, he says that it is not me but him he says he no longer has a sex drive and we haven't been together for awhile, i am starting to doubt my myself and this relationship. I think i have been more than patient with him but i am ready to walk bcoz i am beginning think it's me but he says he has no drive bcoz the oxycontin and unorco's, i am very fustrated emotionally and would appreciate any feedback from you...thanks for reading...


frankie

He could well be telling the truth.I know this must be difficult,but maybe you could just try cuddling or find other ways to express love and intimacy without sex.
Much luck and you're not the only one in this situation.

[Papa Verine]

It's true opiates can reduce a person's sex drive. It happens to me whenever I'm getting high.

But...

There's no reason why he shouldn't take care of you. A reduced sex drive doesn't mean he's disgusted with sex. If he's like me, he can take it or leave it. He should do it for you whether he "feels like it" or not.

My 200,000 pesos.

[Raz]

get him to reduce his opiate intake.he might not be superman and will shoot his bolt in like 2 seconds...
But if he does cut down his sex drive will come back...
And trust me, its nothing to do with you...Opi's is messing with his sex drive, no more no less....If you can get his drug intake just right with the opi's, for a night of passion in mind, he might just give ya the best sex of ya life....
Drop the oxy's out and your sex life will improve...

[reddragon3668]

There is no doubt that opiate reduce sex drive in most people. But, I agree with Nick, there are allot more ways to express intimacy than just intercourse. Opiates don't normally affect my sex drive, but pain certainly can. When that happens though, my wife is very understanding because I will do other things to help meet her needs. I know there are times when she needs to feel me inside her (I know, TMI, but I am trying to get a point accross) but there are times (not often, thank god) when that's just not possible for me. At those times, I turn into the silver tongue'd king. I try to lick the inside of her damn belly button. lol I am not going to let a shower head or vibrator take my place, damn it! The key is that even though I might be having a horrible day and hurting like a mofo, I still have to take her feelings into consideration and realize that she isn't hurting and that she's 35 and in the middle of her heightened sex drive. I'm not going to lose my wife over something like that and I try my hardest to take her feelings seriously and try not to be selfish.

I hope it works out for you and him.. try and help him see that you have needs that your a chonic pain patient as well and that you understand what he's going through to an extent. If he loves you he will respond positively and wake up and understand your feelings. If he doesn't, its better to know now, right? Take care!

[NV12]

There is no doubt that opiate reduce sex drive in most people. But, I agree with Nick, there are allot more ways to express intimacy than just intercourse. Opiates don't normally affect my sex drive, but pain certainly can. When that happens though, my wife is very understanding because I will do other things to help meet her needs. I know there are times when she needs to feel me inside her (I know, TMI, but I am trying to get a point accross) but there are times (not often, thank god) when that's just not possible for me. At those times, I turn into the silver tongue'd king. I try to lick the inside of her damn belly button. lol I am not going to let a shower head or vibrator take my place, damn it! The key is that even though I might be having a horrible day and hurting like a mofo, I still have to take her feelings into consideration and realize that she isn't hurting and that she's 35 and in the middle of her heightened sex drive. I'm not going to lose my wife over something like that and I try my hardest to take her feelings seriously and try not to be selfish.

I hope it works out for you and him.. try and help him see that you have needs that your a chonic pain patient as well and that you understand what he's going through to an extent. If he loves you he will respond positively and wake up and understand your feelings. If he doesn't, its better to know now, right? Take care!

Right on man, good post. Good man you are :)

I'm married to an addict, and I reap the benefits (:rolleyes:) of a suppressed sex drive. Among all the other things that are affected in the throes of addiction, sex is just one of em. By choosing to stay with him, my expectations of being satisfied physically became more realistic. Meaning, the physical is directly connected to the emotional... and when one's not there, the other usually is not enough. Sadly, it doesn't even cross my mind much- and just as a warning, it might not seem such a big deal at first, but over years it is extremely damaging to a relationship... I'm 26, and no pro, but after 7 years of marriage, it will eventually catch up.

You have to decide if you can live with that... while you still can. Best of luck, hope things work out for you!!

Wide

[red26]

its unanimous. The dope will do this absolutely and I HIGHLY doubt it's you babe. tell hil to start poundin his pud more and it'll come back with a vengence, at least it does with me. Reducing the dosage is a shure way to get the ole' libido raging again no doubt I know from experience. Please think long and hard on this cuz your with him for a reason and it sounds like that reason is still there . When it was like this for me I felt soooo bad for not fucking the shit outta my gurl as often as it crossed my mind but lets just say we all can learn from our mistakes, right?

[OxyContinuously]

def. the opiates affecting his sex drive/urges, etc etc.

but it's not anything you did

only thing is, you would leave him because of something like that? just b/c u guys dont have sex a lot thats grounds to bounce? i mean sex is *that* important to the relationship?

hey im not judging, just askin' is all.....

[ZodiacKiller]

There is No doubt that opiate addiction destroys the libido. Case in point, both my wife and I have been on a slow taper off Sub and even that fucks with it. Hers more than mine, if you can believe it...And we have complete trust and honesty in our relationship---I'd sooner slit my throat with a butter knife than cheat on her, and she feels the same way---we've talked about it, alot.

Another reason we just want off these fucking things BAD. And I've got Viagra & Cialis just sittin' around---but it's the mind that's a huge part of arousal, so no use sittin' around with a four-hour hard-on watchin' the Simpsons, y'know? And it's not that we haven't tried......we just both eventually lose interest, because of the complete lack of sensation. Sucks, 'cause I'm as hot for her as the day we met, but the damn opiates.....boo, hiisssss.....

It was different when we were chippers, of course.

ZK

[OxyContinuously]

There is No doubt that opiate addiction destroys the libido. Case in point, both my wife and I have been on a slow taper off Sub and even that fucks with it. Hers more than mine, if you can believe it...And we have complete trust and honesty in our relationship---I'd sooner slit my throat with a butter knife than cheat on her, and she feels the same way---we've talked about it, alot.

Another reason we just want off these fucking things BAD. And I've got Viagra & Cialis just sittin' around---but it's the mind that's a huge part of arousal, so no use sittin' around with a four-hour hard-on watchin' the Simpsons, y'know? And it's not that we haven't tried......we just both eventually lose interest, because of the complete lack of sensation. Sucks, 'cause I'm as hot for her as the day we met, but the damn opiates.....boo, hiisssss.....

It was different when we were chippers, of course.

ZK

ZK,
i have def. heard that about subs. a couple of my friends pretty much mirror your thoughts on it because they tell me that even at a relatively *low* dose the libido is really suppressed...as a matter of fact, they claim that it really just takes away the desire, like you were saying also...and that's the catch-22, i guess u could say, cause what good is the blue diamond if you don't really feel like doing it?

these 2 dudes that i am referring to are both very experienced opiate users, they both used a bundle or so per day, injected, mind you, and they told me that the degree that the libido is killed (with anywhere from as little as 2mg of sub, all the way on up; obviously the higher the dose, the more the side effects) is worse than if they were still on the deck-per-day habit....

[ZodiacKiller]

ZK,
i have def. heard that about subs. a couple of my friends pretty much mirror your thoughts on it because they tell me that even at a relatively *low* dose the libido is really suppressed...as a matter of fact, they claim that it really just takes away the desire, like you were saying also...and that's the catch-22, i guess u could say, cause what good is the blue diamond if you don't really feel like doing it?

these 2 dudes that i am referring to are both very experienced opiate users, they both used a bundle or so per day, injected, mind you, and they told me that the degree that the libido is killed (with anywhere from as little as 2mg of sub, all the way on up; obviously the higher the dose, the more the side effects) is worse than if they were still on the deck-per-day habit....

Yep, I think that Sub is worse for the libido than dope itself. Even when we were full-on every-day junkies, we'd still have desire, and time for the 'ol in-out. Now, nothing; either of us. Might as well be monks.


ZK

[OxyContinuously]

Yep, I think that Sub is worse for the libido than dope itself. Even when we were full-on every-day junkies, we'd still have desire, and time for the 'ol in-out. Now, nothing; either of us. Might as well be monks.


ZK

pretty much!!

u know what it is though, i think? bupe, to a non-user is one of the strongest opes out there..

cause when used for pain purposes, it is very commonly given as an injection, and i was surprised when i learned that the dose is in the microgram range; 200mikes is a very common dose of buprenorphine for pain-control.

but for us, who have experience with opiates, no matter what the r.o.a., obviously as more time elapses for our habits, our tolerances increase...

so for a heroin user like me, 8mg of sub doesn't do anything in terms of "getting high." I mean of course I feel it and everything but certainly no rush or anything like that...

remember though, that for us 8mg is nothing, but in terms of dose for pain, etc. 200 mikes is 1/40 of the dose we need to stay well...

i am pretty sure that's the reason why bupe

[Chicago]

I like to be real w/all the woman on here so they don't get the run around.
Yes opies will make u NOT WANT to make a move sometimes.
But 2 tell u the truth, if I would be high as hell & went out to the bar & met a female it's on, but in the same position if I was at home w/my ex, 4get about it.

Also mentioned to some other female on here, throw another naked female on his lap & watch him be all over that.

So NO it is not you, but being they way he is, he can fuck he can get hard but does he want 2? Did not say he can bust a nut.

Tell him to not take his meds for a few hrs later then usual & watch how he becomes a 2 pump chump:whip:& add some spice to this.

I am also a sex addict aswell, but when I would get 2 use to the person I do get lazy & skip the kissen & go str8 to the fuck'n.

Just wanna give ya a real mans veiw.....:angry23: I think if I'm not out,,,, I'm looking at porn so I guess some guys rather just be high then have both?:rolleyes:

Chi~

[Narkotikon]

Opiates reduce anyone's sex drive. Personally, I don't mind it, I actually kind of like it. It keeps me from looking at internet porn.

[Chicago]

I no many woman on opiates & they want sex sex sex, Why well let me put it like this, females enjoy sex more when there more relaxed & esp when there muscles relax in there vaginal area which will make them more wet & enjoy sex more b/c if they are uptight or not relaxed they will not enjoy it.

Now 4 men it be a whole differnt story, I need it & think about it 24/7, if u at the point where the drugs are taking SEX off ur mind, u gots PROBLEMS, if u can not get a female use ur hand if ya got 2 bud, but not intrested in porn @^^^^^:(

[Narkotikon]

I no many woman on opiates & they want sex sex sex, Why well let me put it like this, females enjoy sex more when there more relaxed & esp when there muscles relax in there vaginal area which will make them more wet & enjoy sex more b/c if they are uptight or not relaxed they will not enjoy it.

Now 4 men it be a whole differnt story, I need it & think about it 24/7, if u at the point where the drugs are taking drugs off ur mind, u gots PROBLEMS, if u can not get a female use ur hand if ya got 2 bud, but not intrested in porn @^^^^^:(

Oh, it's nothing like that, I just have issues with sex. I was raised in a conservative house by conservative parents, so I never grew up feeling comfortable with sex. It's not that I don't like it per se, I just don't like the guilt that comes along with it. So, the fact that opiates decrease my sex drive is just an added benefit. I really don't miss it. It's just not that important to me. I must have an abnormally low sex drive for a guy.

[Chicago]

^^^^^^IT'S ALL GOOD DID NOT MEAN ANYTHING AT U. JUST AT MEN IF THEY EVER GET THIS WAY, BUT WHAT U JUST SAID IS ALL GOOD WITH U THEN YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY.:)

[Narkotikon]

No problem :-)

[frankie]

it doesn't sound like you need advice at all, it sounds like you got it going on in both places, Now i get super horny when i am high but i find it's the man who is the limp dick when he is on opiates. and i know it isn't me...

[jonny-5]

it doesn't sound like you need advice at all, it sounds like you got it going on in both places, Now i get super horny when i am high but i find it's the man who is the limp dick when he is on opiates. and i know it isn't me...

thats weird no matter how much im using i have no problem getting it up. i might never ejaculate, but thats about it.

[DaOxyMan]

me and my lady are havin the same problem rightt now n it my very well destroy our relationship. the prob is during most of my use, i still had quite a sex drive (im only 22) and my h usage allowed my to have sex for hours without effort. But my use has gotten to the point where i am always exhausted and feel like shit. Add to that now i have a few ccourt cases comin up and my best friend killed himself , sex is the last thing on my mind. I used to love havin sex on opi's but now i really don't feel like it. and will deny it when offered to me. I doubt its you. My poor girlfriend cries all the time about this but unfortunately it happens to us guys sometimes. Also as a side note, even when i could get it up i could almost never finish, which was another issue with us. good luck!

[lib.sOCialist]

Yep, I think that Sub is worse for the libido than dope itself. Even when we were full-on every-day junkies, we'd still have desire, and time for the 'ol in-out. Now, nothing; either of us. Might as well be monks.


ZK

SOOO true ZK. What dose are you down to now ZK? if you dont mind me asking that is..

[Chicago]

yo 2 all them men, if u don't start work'n that pussy , I BET U START USING UR HAND SOONER OR LATER AFTER THEY LEAVE YA!!!!!

[clinton]

hah.......
opiates neveR caused me to have a limp dick..
they do postpone ejaculation, its an added benefit..my lady doesnt mind the endless eRection
duRing sex while high on pods...

[limitless_euphoria]

Speaking as a guy with a normally pretty high sex drive, it shames me to admit that while I'm high I love to fantasize about various things but when it comes down to the actual pursuit of sex I don't go for it as often as I should or could. Sometimes, much to my shame, I think I go after it because I'm so paranoid my wife will not be satisfied enough and then look elsewhere.

Yes, I feel pathetic that paranoia is what keeps little me up and running sometimes as much as actually being horny. Opiates seem to lower testosterone in men. That's one of the reasons not having them for me really sucks. I hate being the minute man. I literally turn into Jason Biggs' character "Jim" from the movie "American Pie" when the exchange student comes over (I'm sure some of you catch the reference).

Why not tell him that you know that reduced sex drive is a side effect of the opiates but also make it clear that "no sex whatsoever" is not going to do. Unless he were medically in a situation where he could not have sex... I don't hink you'd be cruel for stipulating that. Just my $0.02.

[RxQueen]

this reminds me of another thread from a while ago. someone suggested that a man being treated for chronic pain with opiates that has this problem, should ask his doctor about supplemental testoterone treatments. opiates can lower testosterone levels, and when it is replaced the sex drive and ability to have an erection comes right back. frankie, maybe your man should ask his doctor to check his testosterone levels. if they're too low, there might be an easy fix for this problem. best of luck to you both!

[Consumed.]

Does anybody get the ability to only get hard right when they use snort/shoot up and feel that rush of blood go through their body? I get a chubby for a little bit right after I use then gone. No libido, I know the test. is gone. I just have the ability for a couple of minutes after I use....

[Chicago]

u no what right after i shoot up, I do get erect, 4 atleast an hr. I CAN'T HELP.
HEROIN IS MY VIAGRA:cool:




Does anybody get the ability to only get hard right when they use snort/shoot up and feel that rush of blood go through their body? I get a chubby for a little bit right after I use then gone. No libido, I know the test. is gone. I just have the ability for a couple of minutes after I use....

[Consumed.]

u no what right after i shoot up, I do get erect, 4 atleast an hr. I CAN'T HELP.
HEROIN IS MY VIAGRA:cool:

WORD, there's gotta be a lot of people who get that. Im mean the blood rushes right there. Makes wanna eat like a mother fucker too the way it calms your stomach.....

[Chicago]

yea u right, if i would be not eating b/c dope sick, i can eat like a motherfucker after that shot, but 1rst right after that shot my dick gets hard & stays that way, I can not make it go away no matter what i try 2 think about.
but the eating, thats where i try to watch out, b/c i was on a diet b/c i am trying to get real cut up 4 summer but since the 4th of july, i been eating 2 many sweets & booze, killen my body.
I think the heroin just makes me get bigger in the muscle size b/c u only grow when u not stressed or resting.
U RIGHT ON POINT PIMP:cool:


WORD, there's gotta be a lot of people who get that. Im mean the blood rushes right there. Makes wanna eat like a mother fucker too the way it calms your stomach.....