underide
05-06-2008, 01:45 PM
For those of you who have to provide a urine analysis for work or the clinic/doctor, i have found one way which can (very effectively) help you pass the urine analysis even if you have used within the last weeks-days prior to the date on which you have to provide your sample.
First of all, i would like to say that i am not encouraging anyone here to break the law or get into trouble and risk your job, etc.. I am providing this info purely for informational purposes although i can vouch for my method's effectiveness. I think most of us would agree that having to provide a urine sample in order to be hired/keep your job is very personally intrusive, degrading, career threatening and for those of you living in the U.S damn right UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Thankfully, where i live, such practice of having to take a drug test in order to be hired for a certain job has never existed and hopefully never will. We are, however, still obliged to provide regular Urine Analysis within our clinic/GP-maintenance systems. And this is exactly what has prompted me to find a way to beat the system, since i still like to dabble in recreational drug use.
My method (and i'm only calling it 'my' method because i have thought of it and tested it on myself - there might well be other people who have thought of this or something similar too) will only work if you are able to provide the sample without someone actually monitoring you a few feet away, and will only work if you are 'providing' your sample behind a closed door.
Another important point in order for my method to work - you will have to actually be able to stay clean for a certain amount of time, (depending on the drugs that you are likely to be tested for) in order to 'harvest' one main ingredient which you will need for the method to work. I will explain why that is further in this post.
Other than that it is a relatively simple method that will cost you nothing (except maybe for the price of a pack of juice)
Some of the things you will need for this method:
1 - a soft/flexible beverage/juice container which is made (at least partly) out of alluminium with a plastic 'screw-on/off' cap.
2 - another any-purpose container with an airtight seal or cap. Any container at all will suffice for this.
3 - a roll of cling film (i think it's called 'plasticwrap' stateside)
4 - a certain period of abstinence from drug taking. The length of the period required will depend on the drugs you are likely to be screened for. I will expand on this further in the post.
5 - at least about 100mls of your own CLEAN urine
6 - at least an hour of preparation/incubation time before the actual drug test.
The best container to use should be able to inflate/deflate with the varying amount of liquid, made out of aluminium (aluminum for you yankies ;)) or similar material and with a screw-on cap for securing your sample.
The container i use for this purpose is a blue Lucozade Sport (it's an isotonic drink we have here that is sold in most groceries and that is marketed to joggers/athletes for rehydration) I'm not sure whether you have the exact same drink in the exact same package in the US/Canada/wherever else, but it's not that important if you don't, i'm sure you have other drinks in similar containers. Capri Sun drink is another similar juice package i could have used here and maybe some of you will be able to use if you have that option. Any other similar container will suffice. Obviously the screw-on cap is important to be able to access the contents of the container more than once. Aluminium will play a part of a heat conductor to keep your sample close to your body temperature. I will post a pic of the container i use in this thread later, so that you get a more clearer idea (in case you haven't already).
The drugs i am tested for are 1.Opiates/Morphine 2.Cocaine 3.Benzo's 4.Amphetamines 5.methadone.
Since i am actually prescribed methadone, i'm only tested for it in order to give my GP a certain measure of certainty that the sample is actually mine.
Here is a chart for the amount of time that certain drugs stay detectable in your urine (from erowid + personal experience)
Opiates: (Heroin/Morphine/Codeine/) - 3-4 days. Personally, now i give it at least 5 days
Cocaine: - 3-5 days. Again, i give it 5 days at the very least now.
Amphetamines: 3-4 days
Cannabis: single use: 3-5 days; habitual use - up to 3 months/12weeks
methadone: single use- 4-7 days; chronic use - up to 3 weeks
Benzo's (depending on the type of the benzo used) 1-42 days
I think the above are the standard drugs that you are likely to be tested for whether at work or at the clinic. As you can see, drugs like cannabis require that you abstain for quite a bit of time before you can substitute your urine. It's easier for me in this case since we are not tested for cannabis at most of our clinics/gp offices. And if we are, we never actually get in trouble over it, since it is accepted that testing positive for cannabis is not an offense in this sense over here. I have heard that it is a little different in this regard in other countries, so therefore you might have to adjust your timing accordingly.
Once you know how long you have to abstain in order to pass clean urine, all you have to do then is stick to the plan and restrain yourself from actually using. In my case, i go a week completely clean, without using any drugs at all (except for methadone ofcourse, which i still use). After the week has passed, i know with some certainty that i will test negative for everything except for methadone, which will be positive and which is what i want. So i go to see my GP and provide him a sample. Seeing that it is definitely clean, i go back home, drink a few glasses of water and use the toilet. I use my 'any-purpose' container (see number 2 above) to collect my urine and i usually collect between 200 -500 mils of urine (just in case).
One thing that some people might want to do at this point is take a couple of vitamin B tablets (available at any pharmacy without a script, at least over here that is). Take them a few hours prior to collecting your urine to give them time to be effective. What they do is colour your urine dark. A lot of the times, especially in the mornings, my urine is clear coloured. I have read that some clinics in the US actually scrutinize any sample that is of a clear colour a lot closer than they usually would (believing that it might be diluted on purpose). So taking Vitamin B might prevent that aspect of unwanted attention from occurring. Persnally, i have never had to resort to that, because over here, it isn't really a problem - any colour is fine, as long as you provide the sample.
Once you have collected your urine 'sample', seal it in your air-tight container and if at all possible (which is not very likely for most people, as well as me) store it in the refrigerator (just not in the freezer)
Personally, i have never used the fridge for this purpose myself for obvious reasons - plus i don't leave alone, so i just leave it in the dark end of my closet. Just make sure it's not too warm where you store it.
Once you have stored your sample, and are happy that no one will find it and/or throw it away, you are then free to go out and get loaded on whatever you like.
Your sample should be fine for weeks and up to a month and probably longer, especially if stored in the fridge.
Next week, next month, or whenever it is you have to actually provide your sample, take out your sample and see if there is any sediment. Sometimes there might be some there, but you can easily filter it out with a paper/coffee filter. make sure to filter it out if there is some, though.
Your next step is to make sure that you have at least an hour or more before the actual test (longer if you stored it in the fridge), so once you take it out and filter any possible sediments, pour about 50mls of your urine into the aluminium container (see 1. above).
I find that 50-60 mils is just about the perfect amount to pour into your aluminium container. (you can save the rest of the urine for next time if so required.) Once you get that in there, hold the container flat to your stomach
with one hand and use the other hand to wrap the cling film around it. I wrap it in multiple layers. I place it just above my belt level, for optimal comcealment/comfort.
Doing so servers two purposes - 1: It keeps it very close to your body temperature right until your test and 2: it conceals it very well so that they wont see it even if you're only wearing a t'shirt, but you migh be better-off having another layer of cloths on just in case it is noticeable.
I'm pretty sure my GP pays attention to whether the sample is warm or not, i have seen him pour it onto the dipstick and right over his hands without even wearing gloves. (which is a little creepy, probably). Many centers probably use a thermometer to verify that it is close to human body temperature.
This is why getting the container made out of alluminium(like) material is important - it conducts heat straight from your body to keep your sample warm. Ideally it should look almost flat as you wrap it with cling film (pics to come)
Once again, make sure that you wrap the container at least 1 hour before the actual test, and wrap it as tight as possible. Just make sure you're able to breathe normally at the same time and so that you don't feel too uncomfortable.
I think this method is sort of similar to the commercial ‘Quick Fix’ synthetic urine method, only the urine you use here is actually real and instead of a heat pack, you use your body to keep your sample close to your body temperature. And ofcourse - this one is free.
Once you're in the cubicle, it should be pretty obvious what you have to do next: Take your container out (i bring a thin razor for a more quite 'extraction' out of cling film.) Unscrew the top of the container and - voila! pour in the contents in to the sample cup, and whatever is left in the container, you can use to splash into the actuall toilet to make it sound like you're actually pissing (just in case they are listening). Or better yet - just take a piss.
So there it is, in a nutshell. I have used this method 3 times now, and so far it has not failed me yet.
This method would be perfect for those scrupulous tests that actually measure ph, gravity, temperature, and so forth. So basically what you are giving them is the real, and most importantly CLEAN stuff.
And again - make sure that you won't be required to be monitored with a nurse/doctor right by your side. That is the way they used to do it at my clinic, but my GP just lets me use a cubicle on my own, and that's why it works.
Once again - i am not encouraging anyone here to break any laws or get into trouble. This is mostly for informational purposes. And if you do ever decide to use this method, it should be pretty easy to follow and will work, as long as you follow the main points of this post that i have highlighted in bold.
First of all, i would like to say that i am not encouraging anyone here to break the law or get into trouble and risk your job, etc.. I am providing this info purely for informational purposes although i can vouch for my method's effectiveness. I think most of us would agree that having to provide a urine sample in order to be hired/keep your job is very personally intrusive, degrading, career threatening and for those of you living in the U.S damn right UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Thankfully, where i live, such practice of having to take a drug test in order to be hired for a certain job has never existed and hopefully never will. We are, however, still obliged to provide regular Urine Analysis within our clinic/GP-maintenance systems. And this is exactly what has prompted me to find a way to beat the system, since i still like to dabble in recreational drug use.
My method (and i'm only calling it 'my' method because i have thought of it and tested it on myself - there might well be other people who have thought of this or something similar too) will only work if you are able to provide the sample without someone actually monitoring you a few feet away, and will only work if you are 'providing' your sample behind a closed door.
Another important point in order for my method to work - you will have to actually be able to stay clean for a certain amount of time, (depending on the drugs that you are likely to be tested for) in order to 'harvest' one main ingredient which you will need for the method to work. I will explain why that is further in this post.
Other than that it is a relatively simple method that will cost you nothing (except maybe for the price of a pack of juice)
Some of the things you will need for this method:
1 - a soft/flexible beverage/juice container which is made (at least partly) out of alluminium with a plastic 'screw-on/off' cap.
2 - another any-purpose container with an airtight seal or cap. Any container at all will suffice for this.
3 - a roll of cling film (i think it's called 'plasticwrap' stateside)
4 - a certain period of abstinence from drug taking. The length of the period required will depend on the drugs you are likely to be screened for. I will expand on this further in the post.
5 - at least about 100mls of your own CLEAN urine
6 - at least an hour of preparation/incubation time before the actual drug test.
The best container to use should be able to inflate/deflate with the varying amount of liquid, made out of aluminium (aluminum for you yankies ;)) or similar material and with a screw-on cap for securing your sample.
The container i use for this purpose is a blue Lucozade Sport (it's an isotonic drink we have here that is sold in most groceries and that is marketed to joggers/athletes for rehydration) I'm not sure whether you have the exact same drink in the exact same package in the US/Canada/wherever else, but it's not that important if you don't, i'm sure you have other drinks in similar containers. Capri Sun drink is another similar juice package i could have used here and maybe some of you will be able to use if you have that option. Any other similar container will suffice. Obviously the screw-on cap is important to be able to access the contents of the container more than once. Aluminium will play a part of a heat conductor to keep your sample close to your body temperature. I will post a pic of the container i use in this thread later, so that you get a more clearer idea (in case you haven't already).
The drugs i am tested for are 1.Opiates/Morphine 2.Cocaine 3.Benzo's 4.Amphetamines 5.methadone.
Since i am actually prescribed methadone, i'm only tested for it in order to give my GP a certain measure of certainty that the sample is actually mine.
Here is a chart for the amount of time that certain drugs stay detectable in your urine (from erowid + personal experience)
Opiates: (Heroin/Morphine/Codeine/) - 3-4 days. Personally, now i give it at least 5 days
Cocaine: - 3-5 days. Again, i give it 5 days at the very least now.
Amphetamines: 3-4 days
Cannabis: single use: 3-5 days; habitual use - up to 3 months/12weeks
methadone: single use- 4-7 days; chronic use - up to 3 weeks
Benzo's (depending on the type of the benzo used) 1-42 days
I think the above are the standard drugs that you are likely to be tested for whether at work or at the clinic. As you can see, drugs like cannabis require that you abstain for quite a bit of time before you can substitute your urine. It's easier for me in this case since we are not tested for cannabis at most of our clinics/gp offices. And if we are, we never actually get in trouble over it, since it is accepted that testing positive for cannabis is not an offense in this sense over here. I have heard that it is a little different in this regard in other countries, so therefore you might have to adjust your timing accordingly.
Once you know how long you have to abstain in order to pass clean urine, all you have to do then is stick to the plan and restrain yourself from actually using. In my case, i go a week completely clean, without using any drugs at all (except for methadone ofcourse, which i still use). After the week has passed, i know with some certainty that i will test negative for everything except for methadone, which will be positive and which is what i want. So i go to see my GP and provide him a sample. Seeing that it is definitely clean, i go back home, drink a few glasses of water and use the toilet. I use my 'any-purpose' container (see number 2 above) to collect my urine and i usually collect between 200 -500 mils of urine (just in case).
One thing that some people might want to do at this point is take a couple of vitamin B tablets (available at any pharmacy without a script, at least over here that is). Take them a few hours prior to collecting your urine to give them time to be effective. What they do is colour your urine dark. A lot of the times, especially in the mornings, my urine is clear coloured. I have read that some clinics in the US actually scrutinize any sample that is of a clear colour a lot closer than they usually would (believing that it might be diluted on purpose). So taking Vitamin B might prevent that aspect of unwanted attention from occurring. Persnally, i have never had to resort to that, because over here, it isn't really a problem - any colour is fine, as long as you provide the sample.
Once you have collected your urine 'sample', seal it in your air-tight container and if at all possible (which is not very likely for most people, as well as me) store it in the refrigerator (just not in the freezer)
Personally, i have never used the fridge for this purpose myself for obvious reasons - plus i don't leave alone, so i just leave it in the dark end of my closet. Just make sure it's not too warm where you store it.
Once you have stored your sample, and are happy that no one will find it and/or throw it away, you are then free to go out and get loaded on whatever you like.
Your sample should be fine for weeks and up to a month and probably longer, especially if stored in the fridge.
Next week, next month, or whenever it is you have to actually provide your sample, take out your sample and see if there is any sediment. Sometimes there might be some there, but you can easily filter it out with a paper/coffee filter. make sure to filter it out if there is some, though.
Your next step is to make sure that you have at least an hour or more before the actual test (longer if you stored it in the fridge), so once you take it out and filter any possible sediments, pour about 50mls of your urine into the aluminium container (see 1. above).
I find that 50-60 mils is just about the perfect amount to pour into your aluminium container. (you can save the rest of the urine for next time if so required.) Once you get that in there, hold the container flat to your stomach
with one hand and use the other hand to wrap the cling film around it. I wrap it in multiple layers. I place it just above my belt level, for optimal comcealment/comfort.
Doing so servers two purposes - 1: It keeps it very close to your body temperature right until your test and 2: it conceals it very well so that they wont see it even if you're only wearing a t'shirt, but you migh be better-off having another layer of cloths on just in case it is noticeable.
I'm pretty sure my GP pays attention to whether the sample is warm or not, i have seen him pour it onto the dipstick and right over his hands without even wearing gloves. (which is a little creepy, probably). Many centers probably use a thermometer to verify that it is close to human body temperature.
This is why getting the container made out of alluminium(like) material is important - it conducts heat straight from your body to keep your sample warm. Ideally it should look almost flat as you wrap it with cling film (pics to come)
Once again, make sure that you wrap the container at least 1 hour before the actual test, and wrap it as tight as possible. Just make sure you're able to breathe normally at the same time and so that you don't feel too uncomfortable.
I think this method is sort of similar to the commercial ‘Quick Fix’ synthetic urine method, only the urine you use here is actually real and instead of a heat pack, you use your body to keep your sample close to your body temperature. And ofcourse - this one is free.
Once you're in the cubicle, it should be pretty obvious what you have to do next: Take your container out (i bring a thin razor for a more quite 'extraction' out of cling film.) Unscrew the top of the container and - voila! pour in the contents in to the sample cup, and whatever is left in the container, you can use to splash into the actuall toilet to make it sound like you're actually pissing (just in case they are listening). Or better yet - just take a piss.
So there it is, in a nutshell. I have used this method 3 times now, and so far it has not failed me yet.
This method would be perfect for those scrupulous tests that actually measure ph, gravity, temperature, and so forth. So basically what you are giving them is the real, and most importantly CLEAN stuff.
And again - make sure that you won't be required to be monitored with a nurse/doctor right by your side. That is the way they used to do it at my clinic, but my GP just lets me use a cubicle on my own, and that's why it works.
Once again - i am not encouraging anyone here to break any laws or get into trouble. This is mostly for informational purposes. And if you do ever decide to use this method, it should be pretty easy to follow and will work, as long as you follow the main points of this post that i have highlighted in bold.