It's sad that it makes me happy

[D-BoyJake]

I've noticed that since being on so much hydro daily for so long, that it's pretty much hard to really care about some things. Since the meds kill a lot of emotions, you never really get sad, but you never really get happy either.

But I'll tell you what. I see my VA Dr. once a month, always the afternoon of the 21st. And all day long I'm as excited as a fat kid in front of a chocolate cake that he doesn't have to share.

And then I get my script, and I sit at the pharmacy waiting for them to fill it. This usually takes about an hour (pharmacy in the VA Hospital, always crowded, but worth the wait because your medication is frrreeeeeeeeee), and the excitment just builds and builds.

Then I get home, tear the bag open like it's wrapping paper, and there's my big 'ol bottle of Norco's in all of their yellow glory. I pour them all out on the table. I push them around like Pez candy. I create piles. I count to make sure all 250 of them are there. I play with them like a kid with a new toy.

And I'm happy. Really, really happy.

And that's sad. Really, really sad.

[upstate_007]

I hear ya man. That monthly pickup day becomes all important at times. Happy....Sad..it's all relative.

Love the signature quote too. Another fantastic junky musician.

[WarmCyanide]

one should never be ashamed to play with their pills

[Papa Verine]

I hear you D-Boy. I'm the same way and I'm sure we're not alone here. You can say it's sad, but I'm so used to being a drug addict, I see it as absolute normalcy.

Don't worry, be happy bro.

[Black_Pony]

I like your sig too.

I figure if you can't enjoy the simple pleasures of life, whats left?

[Incognito]

You're not alone in that respect. Try not to analyze it too much. To quote Chicago's sig, "It is what it is, and there it is."

[OxyContinuously]

no need to feel ashamed

i'l tell you the firs tthing i do when i pick up a bundle of dope, is take each and every single bag, flick them to see which ones are the "fattest" when i know damn well that they are all identical cause they are weighed!

but nevertheless, there i am, like a madman, playing with all these little packets like a fuckin idiot! but it makes me happy, so whatever you know? FTW!

i also look at the actual stamp, somehow talking myself into the fact that the darker ink somehow means that the D is fresher or more potent than the rest...it's all nonsense, they're all the same, but I do it anyway.

Oh anyone from the NEW YORK area:

---> "DYNASTY" is going around; a purple stamp but the shit is killer!!

[Nate]

I enjoy fondling my doc, even get a little sexually aroused. ;)

I know Im not alone.