Fuck sober.

[HistoryofMadness]

Man, this might belong in the piss and moan, but here goes:

I have been almost totally clean for damn near a year. I have had a couple of alcohol binges... I have ingested very few opiates, mostly because they do fuck all unless i actually get into a lot them for a few days.

So, for more than 10 of the past 12 months I've been clean. And of the two i got fucked up mostly on alcohol...

I am SICK of being sober. I am just not wired like people around me. It seems fucking impossible to get on a roll with a good mood. I experience unusually high levels of anxiety and swing into dysphoria regularly.

The only good thing that has kept me going is my interest in flirting, dating, sex, etc came back with a vengeance. I got into shape and starting dating A LOT. And got a good response, too.

But fuck it all man. I'm back to work, and I realize now how much I've micromanaged my moods with opiates, caffeine, and tobacco (quit smoking too).

Anyway I'm tired of this 'new' life. I'm not saying I'm done trying, just getting frustrated. Fuck man it was the alcohol that was fucking me up anyway... that's all. I'm done.

[oxycontin]

dude, dont give up now....there is nothing wrong with the sober life. id pay to be in your position rite now!

[slugbone]

The only good thing that has kept me going is my interest in flirting, dating, sex, etc came back with a vengeance. I got into shape and starting dating A LOT. And got a good response, too.

But fuck it all man. I'm back to work, and I realize now how much I've micromanaged my moods with opiates, caffeine, and tobacco (quit smoking too).

Anyway I'm tired of this 'new' life. I'm not saying I'm done trying, just getting frustrated. Fuck man it was the alcohol that was fucking me up anyway... that's all. I'm done.


yeah man, it's hard - sobriety is a long hard pointless road. but at least you probably have some more spare cash and banging broads now and then aint to shabby either.

but i don't mean to make light of it, keep on keepin on brother - you made it back to the other side and it is a hell of a deal gettin off the stuff

[Suboxstitute]

I get what you're saying 100%. I am on bupe have been since August 07. Had to be, family stuff, commitments, needed to do it. But I am so frickin' BORED a lot of the time. When I think about it rationally, I am in a good place. Clearer-headed, starting a successful consulting business after leaving a dog-eat-dog corporate position where I was pulling in the bucks, but very unhappy.

So on that front, I am happier. But what I wouldn't give for just a break where I could get high! I am tapering down and off the bupe in the next few months; don't know what will bring. Plus I have CP issues that are undertreated.

SO - I really do know how you feel. Sobriety (and I get that many people consider bupe is not true sobriety) but at least I'm not spending money chasing pills every waking hour. It is a good thing for my family (husband and grown kids,) who have never ever been into drugs. THeydon't understand.

Don't have the answer but I sure have the questions. Except to hang in there and this too MAY pass...

Take care - try to focus on how your life has improved (it it has) without the merry ground of the next fix, DOC binge, whatever. Logic will tell you to stay sober. but sometimes logic isn't enough.



Man, this might belong in the piss and moan, but here goes:

I have been almost totally clean for damn near a year. I have had a couple of alcohol binges... I have ingested very few opiates, mostly because they do fuck all unless i actually get into a lot them for a few days.

So, for more than 10 of the past 12 months I've been clean. And of the two i got fucked up mostly on alcohol...

I am SICK of being sober. I am just not wired like people around me. It seems fucking impossible to get on a roll with a good mood. I experience unusually high levels of anxiety and swing into dysphoria regularly.

The only good thing that has kept me going is my interest in flirting, dating, sex, etc came back with a vengeance. I got into shape and starting dating A LOT. And got a good response, too.

But fuck it all man. I'm back to work, and I realize now how much I've micromanaged my moods with opiates, caffeine, and tobacco (quit smoking too).

Anyway I'm tired of this 'new' life. I'm not saying I'm done trying, just getting frustrated. Fuck man it was the alcohol that was fucking me up anyway... that's all. I'm done.

[limitless_euphoria]

Man, this might belong in the piss and moan, but here goes:

I have been almost totally clean for damn near a year. I have had a couple of alcohol binges... I have ingested very few opiates, mostly because they do fuck all unless i actually get into a lot them for a few days.

So, for more than 10 of the past 12 months I've been clean. And of the two i got fucked up mostly on alcohol...

I am SICK of being sober. I am just not wired like people around me. It seems fucking impossible to get on a roll with a good mood. I experience unusually high levels of anxiety and swing into dysphoria regularly.

The only good thing that has kept me going is my interest in flirting, dating, sex, etc came back with a vengeance. I got into shape and starting dating A LOT. And got a good response, too.

But fuck it all man. I'm back to work, and I realize now how much I've micromanaged my moods with opiates, caffeine, and tobacco (quit smoking too).

Anyway I'm tired of this 'new' life. I'm not saying I'm done trying, just getting frustrated. Fuck man it was the alcohol that was fucking me up anyway... that's all. I'm done.

See, this is what scares the FUCK out of me... I mean I've been clean 2 days and I'm already jonsing... what if it turns into to 2 weeks/2 months... but then, I'm at where you're at! Does this devil persist ad nauseum? Are you never truly free from that proverbial monkey on one's back? OMG, I feel for you... but this scares me. IDK if I can go a year clean! I fucking wish.

Regardless, I wish YOU well as you deserve it. Don't mind my drunken bitching. I'm just a crankly little bitch w/o his opies.

[candyshop]

totally totally hear you--i am not sober (on bupe) but really miss being able to make myself feel like i want to feel

wish i had the dating ,flirting ect thing to catch a spark but without the mood regulation of opies i just can not get interested enough in anything


i have stopped experiencing enthusiasm

[kil092286]

Man, this might belong in the piss and moan, but here goes:

I have been almost totally clean for damn near a year. I have had a couple of alcohol binges... I have ingested very few opiates, mostly because they do fuck all unless i actually get into a lot them for a few days.

So, for more than 10 of the past 12 months I've been clean. And of the two i got fucked up mostly on alcohol...

I am SICK of being sober. I am just not wired like people around me. It seems fucking impossible to get on a roll with a good mood. I experience unusually high levels of anxiety and swing into dysphoria regularly.

The only good thing that has kept me going is my interest in flirting, dating, sex, etc came back with a vengeance. I got into shape and starting dating A LOT. And got a good response, too.

But fuck it all man. I'm back to work, and I realize now how much I've micromanaged my moods with opiates, caffeine, and tobacco (quit smoking too).

Anyway I'm tired of this 'new' life. I'm not saying I'm done trying, just getting frustrated. Fuck man it was the alcohol that was fucking me up anyway... that's all. I'm done.

Dude I am exactly the same way except I have subs as a crutch instead of alcohol... its been 8 months and I'm bout to say fuck it to. Good Luck but I'm gonna go get in contact with a pack of dog food.

[betmylife]

sobriety is soooooo fucking boooorrriiiinngggg....and you notice how fucking stupid most of society is when sober, I hate it.....Im a bitter asshole when medicated, without my meds Im not fit for civilized conversation.....I used to make all the waitresses cry at work, when I worked, after becoming a junky, they all love me, Im the nice one....HA.....sobriety is nuts.....straight edge kids scare me.

[nick]

Hi bro,I've come to the conclusion that it's better to make peace with your demons than fight an often losing battle.I guess I just got tired.

I hope you find some relief.