The Final Shot

[Soda]

Can't hurt to throw a poll in.

I appreciate anyone who takes the time to vote, and thank all who do.

I will refrain from voting because I am more interested in YOUR opinion than my own.

Here are the choices:
a) You get really high, and stay clean for at least a month
b) You ride out the rest of your withdrawals and stay clean for at least a month
c) You "quit opiates for life", and get high less than 7 days later

When I said never touch the stuff again, I know that's extreme, so remember: at least one month.
And remember it is hypothetical.

Kind regards,
-Soda

[Papa Verine]

Fuck, I always end up relapsing within a week or 2. I'm glad you threw that option in there Soda. I just don't feel comfortable sober, even after the physical W/D's are over. I actually feel like the W/D's never really go away completely. Maybe I should give it more then a couple weeks huh?

[ein0606]

well i would take that final shot. then wehn going thru w/d i would probably give up and go cop which wasnt an option so i just put would relapse in a week. but truthfully i can make it about 48 hrs without before i convince myself and say fuck it.

[ein0606]

Fuck, I always end up relapsing within a week or 2. I'm glad you threw that option in there Soda. I just don't feel comfortable sober, even after the physical W/D's are over. I actually feel like the W/D's never really go away completely. Maybe I should give it more then a couple weeks huh?


i feel the same exact way when i actually make it!!!!

mods can you merge my post i didnt know how to edit and add a quote.

[OxiContinKing]

I wish you could vote twice, lol. I would have to go with 'Get one more big rush', but then I know I would end up 'relapsing in a week'.

Ahh, what a fucked up game we all enjoy playing...

[Chicago]

Every time I try to detox, I get that last big shot.
Then a few days can go by & I do not think I can function w/out opiates.
Heroin is my doc, I have to have it every day, like we all do.

But damm, When my brain is starting to clean up or while I'm detoxing all I think about is when to get my next fix. The ONLY times I been clean was locked up, or outta money for a few days.

Last time I used was monday, then now it's wednesday, all I want is my next fix.
The only way for me to get clean I think, is to do some long term treatment.

Back to the op, I relaspe when ever I get out withen 24hrs. MY WHOLE LIFE.:(

[Lu_cid]

I just don't feel comfortable sober, even after the physical W/D's are over. I actually feel like the W/D's never really go away completely. Maybe I should give it more then a couple weeks huh?

I seriously dont think they ever go away, die down a little maybe. its been sense october for me and i'm still jones'n just as bad as ever.
I'm just hopeing the pill faerie pays me a vist soon...

[Raz]

Fuck knows, its a work in progress....

[Thanat0s]

well, i picked 'relapse'
...but 'properly' the longest lasting kicks seem to be done with no 'finale' shot, its just some addict shit we do to keep using in my experience. one last is never enough for me, anywho...

[Chemical_Boy]

This poll would have been better if I could have checked two boxes:

I always decide to do one last big shot and then quit forever.

Then, a week later, I relapse:cool:

[motts]

for some reason I usually go on nice binges, at the end of them in withdrawal I say to myself I never want to withdrawal again this sucks, I get around 5-7 days clean and start to feel better then, and by then I have accumulating some money, and I usually get high. Now I will only do like a little bit but I always end up regretting the promise I made to myself about wanting to stop, but it is a never ending cycle until....I dunno.....I dunno....

[Soda]

In psychology we call that learned helplessness and it's not allowed on my threads.

[RobOC]

Whenever I make a good solid shot at detoxing I can usually make it at least one month. Its not the lingering w/d symptoms that send me back out its that I tend to forget the bad parts of being strung out and focus on just how good it felt to be high and pain free. if I were to remain opiate free I feel like someone would have to kick me in the nuts and take all of my money at least once a month, just so I could remember how much it can suck.

[erica]

Fuck, I always end up relapsing within a week or 2. I'm glad you threw that option in there Soda. I just don't feel comfortable sober, even after the physical W/D's are over. I actually feel like the W/D's never really go away completely. Maybe I should give it more then a couple weeks huh?

I'm with you on that one. I was off of them for a good 4 months, and felt like I was in W/Ds the WHOLE time. I was so depressed it was a struggle to get out of bed in the morning, and a struggle to not kill myself everyday.

So yeah, here I am, on them 24/7 again....

[slugbone]

I'm with you on that one. I was off of them for a good 4 months, and felt like I was in W/Ds the WHOLE time. I was so depressed it was a struggle to get out of bed in the morning, and a struggle to not kill myself everyday.

So yeah, here I am, on them 24/7 again....

i know what it is like to feel that way. and the topper is i chased away all the friends i had too - so you have isolation throw in for extra measure.

for me i hated that depression, but i'm not sure if it came from addiction or if it was just depression no matter what.

but all i know is the opiates have taken away a lot of the sadness i used to have and, at least that is something.

[Soda]

There's a badass among us, we got a vote for never touching it again.

[Soda]

i know what it is like to feel that way. and the topper is i chased away all the friends i had too - so you have isolation throw in for extra measure.

for me i hated that depression, but i'm not sure if it came from addiction or if it was just depression no matter what.

but all i know is the opiates have taken away a lot of the sadness i used to have and, at least that is something.

I'm sure you made a new and different breed of friends fairly quickly.

[betmylife]

Im in a perpetual kick, I at the moment, cannot maintain a decent habit....so I get good and mangled like twice a week, and feel fairly shitty the rest of the week, not full blown w/d shitty.....but shitty enough......I guess I relapse weekly...although I would be high all day everyday if it were up to me.......goddamn drugs cost too much, but that may change soon, I got a new doctor next week and apparantly hes good with a pen......


BML

[Soda]

word up.....

[Saint]

I went for the one big last shot, which is exactly what I did on a Valentines day many years ago. A big last shot of excellent H and I have honestly never touched the stuff since.
But... I did go on methadone, use kratom, subs, now on tramadol, you name it and I tried it (and believe me: nothing - absolutely nothing ever compares to heroine... sigh...).
So, as far as heroine is concerned I am on my way to quiting forever *maybe*. But not when opiates in general are concerned. Not for a long time.

By the way, I know plenty of people who stayed a 100% clean for almost a decade and still relapsed.. so I guess one never knows. It will haunt me the rest of my life, I know that much.

[Soda]

well written sage

edit:
we almost have the same number of posts

[dirtdog]

Eh like everyone else here, one big shot and then relaspe in a week.
As yall know I quit shooting up for a YEAR one fucking year!
Booyah Im back to my old ways. God damnit, what happened?
Im sitting here thinking wow ive been needlefree for a year and then i look down an dtheres a fucking rig in my arm.I know I didnt do this! The little green man in my closet must have done it! duuuuude i swear!

[Saint]

well written sage

edit:
we almost have the same number of posts

And we're both still fresh on the scene
which sounds weird after 25 years of opiate-use ;-)

[antigonemuse]

how does one relapse if they never stop using? this is an answer that was hard to come by for me....

i didnt relapse until a few months ago after a period of abstinence. every thing before that was using, even if it wasnt everyday... even if it wasnt every week. i was still using until i actually comitted to staying clean for a while, did the rehab, group thing...

unfortunatly, now, im still stuck in a use cycle.... i can go a month without using, but ill pick up. and im not getting the treatment i should be getting. (kinda gave u p on it - discouraged) just kinda biding my time waiting STILL for my name to come up on the list for the methadone clinic....


been waiting since janurary.

[Soda]

Living like this is a fulltime business.

[antigonemuse]

Living like this is a fulltime business.


choose life


i can here the song in my head

da da da da da da da LUST for life




it do be da truth

[frankie]

I wish you could vote twice, lol. I would have to go with 'Get one more big rush', but then I know I would end up 'relapsing in a week'.

Ahh, what a fucked up game we all enjoy playing... I couldn't have said it
better for me it's a fucking game, i would go for the big rush and relapse in a week, for me like i have said it's all a mind game i play with myself...

[Soda]

man, life choices come and go, but choosing not to do something for the rest of your life, thats hard, i dont mean to put pressure on you guys to think its even possible to put the high away, or whatever your kick is, i mean for me its just something that fucked me up and fixed me up in equal proportions and now i enjoy shitting too much to drink a cup, you know, bowel movements are nice, but come on man, even i have to say its extreme to take a shot and never touch it again. if i had a needle i wouldnt use it one last time....im like a native american, i use things until there is nothing left to use

[rockbottom]

i can quit any drug, but always substitute it with another. so never been sober except in jail.:cool:

[Narkotikon]

I tell myself that I'll use one last time and make it count. Then, I give in a week or so (or even a few days) later and say fuck it. Even after the w/ds are over, it's the boredome / anhedonia that gets you. Life is just grey and dull without opiates. I don't have the patience to wait months and years to get back to "normal," if that's even possible.

[Nate]

I'm with you on that one. I was off of them for a good 4 months, and felt like I was in W/Ds the WHOLE time. I was so depressed it was a struggle to get out of bed in the morning, and a struggle to not kill myself everyday.

So yeah, here I am, on them 24/7 again....

Fuckin ditto. Though the sobreity run hasn't ended yet, but I can relate to that 100%.

[red26]

what up with this thread huh? It really old and the last post was a real long time ago but I guess I put my 2 cents in. I said 'relapse in a week' but I think there should be a 'shudder to think' option.

[SHELLEY]

how bout choice one and THEN choice 2?
thats what i did

[lolleedee]

This poll would have been better if I could have checked two boxes:

I always decide to do one last big shot and then quit forever.

Then, a week later, I relapse:cool:

My thoughts EXACTLY!!!!!:D

[metric man]

I always say to myself that I want to put my usage on hold for a month and go out with one last big ass shot, but two or three days later i'm back. I've even cut all the needles off my syringes so i wouldnt be tempted.