Where do I go from here, and whats ahead?

[chemiKalz]

Quitting opiates for good has been in the back of my mind for some time now. I want to quit before "its to late" but I feel like it already is. Everytime I quit I honestly want to kill my self until I get well again. That is no way to live. I feel like there is no way out, and I don't know anyone besides people of these boards with the same predicament as me. I guess what I'm saying is that I want to quit, but I also do not, and fear w/d and long lasting depression. If opiates are keeping me sane and not depressed and I still function fine should I just say fuck it and keep on keepin' on?

[GoddessofRATs]

That's how i am, they cure my depression, my pain. I'm still functioning, not doing anything illegal to obtain them, so why should i quit? I'm not hurting anyone. It doesn't cause me any financial problems, I'm not always broke.. I mean i don't have a lot of money but it's not because of pills and pods, that's only like 25% of where my money goes. So, I'm not suffering in any of those depts.

So i say why should i quit? I can't say what I'll feel in the future but right now i just don't see any reason to quit.

Yea yea, i know buying pods and ingesting them is illegal. I just mean i ain't out sealing old ladies purses or holding up liquor stores LOL.

Hey, if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad, right! LOL. Yea, i know... that's a Sheryl Crow song but it says a lot.

Peace
GOR

[Opiyum]

As they say....

It's never to late
To rehabilitate!


If opiates are keeping me sane and not depressed and I still function fine...

This won't last. Don't know your history but it should be no surprise that opiates will eventually reverse their effects on you but that isn't to say that you will realize it when they do. They post no notices and give no warnings.

I'm sure I haven't been much help but I have a question for you.

If the opiates are keeping you "sane and not depressed" and you are still functioning without any problems why is it part of you wants to quit? Where is that coming from and how important is it to you?

All things you need to figure out for yourself.

Otherwise good luck.

[Raz]

Hola . if life really sucks wivout em i say keep on keepin on.As long as it doesny affect areas that you have to function in.Payin bills etc, lookin after your children.....Fuck everyone has a DOC be it tabacco alcohol etc....

[bbob]

Reasons to quit, don't out number all the reasons why. Think thats a Willie Nelson song

[Saint]

I don't know your DOC but I struggled with the same issue some years ago.
The reason I wanted to quit (heroine - IV) was that debts were piling up and my habit was starting to interfere with my personal life (relationships, work, all the blabla). Then, on top of that, I overdosed, so I decided I had to quit. I couldn't afford using anymore and I didn't want to end up having a criminal record or prostituting myself, I'd always studied and worked like 'normal' people do and I wanted to keep on living that way.
So I quit. That took a lot of determination and it wasn't until the fiftht attempt that I managed to stay off heroine forgood and on methadone. (something that is underestimated: switching from heroine to methadone is considered swapping one habit for another and even although this may be true it isn't always easy: there is no way on earth methadone will give you the same feeling heroine does and no matter how much methadone you take most will experience a certain level of discomfort during their first weeks on it, especially when coming of a longtime heroin habit...).

Anyway, I managed to stay clean of heroine but when the day came that I tried to come of methadone as well all kinds of painproblems surfaced and I had to go right back on it. I tried everything, fast taper, slow taper, subuxone, all he blabla but I always ended up in great pain and totally depressed.
So - concluding - I think you'd have to outweigh the pro's and con's. Depression can be sheer hell..

I decided to live with a legal drug (methadone) because it's the only way I'm able to function. That doesn't mean that I gave up on ever being clean. I'll keep trying to get off methadone. But when I have to choose between having a job, money on the bank and a ''reasonable o.k.-life'' or being clean and loosing my job because of pain and depression I choose the first.
So I guess I'm somewhere in the in the middle: no hardcore heroine addiction anymore but still legally opiated (although I don't feel the least bit 'opiated').

You know best what the consequences of your habit are right now. Find out if it's worth it and decide what's best for you. I don't see anything wrong in using opiates as an anti-depression medication if there is no other way to live a more or less happy life.. there are so many things to consider: children, work, money, health etc.etc..
I hope that whatever you choose works best for you.

[Raz]

I don't know your DOC but I struggled with the same issue some years ago.
The reason I wanted to quit (heroine - IV) was that debts were piling up and my habit was starting to interfere with my personal life (relationships, work, all the blabla). Then, on top of that, I overdosed, so I decided I had to quit. I couldn't afford using anymore and I didn't want to end up having a criminal record or prostituting myself, I'd always studied and worked like 'normal' people do and I wanted to keep on living that way.
So I quit. That took a lot of determination and it wasn't until the fiftht attempt that I managed to stay off heroine forgood and on methadone. (something that is underestimated: switching from heroine to methadone is considered swapping one habit for another and even although this may be true it isn't always easy: there is no way on earth methadone will give you the same feeling heroine does and no matter how much methadone you take most will experience a certain level of discomfort during their first weeks on it, especially when coming of a longtime heroin habit...).

Anyway, I managed to stay clean of heroine but when the day came that I tried to come of methadone as well all kinds of painproblems surfaced and I had to go right back on it. I tried everything, fast taper, slow taper, subuxone, all he blabla but I always ended up in great pain and totally depressed.
So - concluding - I think you'd have to outweigh the pro's and con's. Depression can be sheer hell..

I decided to live with a legal drug (methadone) because it's the only way I'm able to function. That doesn't mean that I gave up on ever being clean. I'll keep trying to get off methadone. But when I have to choose between having a job, money on the bank and a ''reasonable o.k.-life'' or being clean and loosing my job because of pain and depression I choose the first.
So I guess I'm somewhere in the in the middle: no hardcore heroine addiction anymore but still legally opiated (although I don't feel the least bit 'opiated').

You know best what the consequences of your habit are right now. Find out if it's worth it and decide what's best for you. I don't see anything wrong in using opiates as an anti-depression medication if there is no other way to live a more or less happy life.. there are so many things to consider: children, work, money, health etc.etc..
I hope that whatever you choose works best for you.
WORD UP-Good advice.....Raz

[starglazer33]

for most i think it the lifestyle that breaks u specially if it dope=h. only way i could give it up was m.done and even then it was still tough so jusst try and ask yourself what do you really want to end the life or to stop the use, one goes hand in hand so m.done or bupe or whatever just seperates it so if you want a better life but can;t quit da dope just give da done a try if it an option. some people don;t like it but for some it saves thier lives

keep posting we do understand.........sg33....man good luck!

[eerased]

I'm curious, What are your reasons for wanting to quit?

Quitting opiates for good has been in the back of my mind for some time now. I want to quit before "its to late" but I feel like it already is. Everytime I quit I honestly want to kill my self until I get well again. That is no way to live. I feel like there is no way out, and I don't know anyone besides people of these boards with the same predicament as me. I guess what I'm saying is that I want to quit, but I also do not, and fear w/d and long lasting depression. If opiates are keeping me sane and not depressed and I still function fine should I just say fuck it and keep on keepin' on?

[limitless_euphoria]

Quitting opiates for good has been in the back of my mind for some time now. I want to quit before "its to late" but I feel like it already is. Everytime I quit I honestly want to kill my self until I get well again. That is no way to live. I feel like there is no way out, and I don't know anyone besides people of these boards with the same predicament as me. I guess what I'm saying is that I want to quit, but I also do not, and fear w/d and long lasting depression. If opiates are keeping me sane and not depressed and I still function fine should I just say fuck it and keep on keepin' on?

Well, I can share my experience with cigarettes which makes a nice parallel to your situation. I knew that smoking two packs a day of Marb Reds was NOT good for me—I was constantly having trouble breathing and hacking up a lung and shit. So, I tried to quit. The thing of it was, I wanted my self to WANT to quit—but deep, deep down I really did not want to stop.

If you think you'll need it, try to find a bupe doctor to help you taper off of them and then eventually taper off the bupe. This can be done over days, or weeks, or even months. There's a sticky somewhere that tells you how to adjust your dosages down to eventually nothing. If you're more of a cold turkey quitter—God freakin' bless you because THAT is a feat of true will-power and inner-strength.

What I'm trying to say: you can't just WANT yourself to want to stop using opiates; you need to sincerely decide that it's TRULY what you want and you'll settle for nothing else. DO whatever it is you need to DO to make it happen! I've found when quitting any substance it's that first month that really is like a guided tour of hell itself. Once you're past the first month it gets progressively easier. As I've said, I've gone entire seasons without using any opiates—but ever since I started having back problems and once I had tried more of the C-II pharmies out there the genie was out of the bottle.

Just remember, you are the master of your own destiny. If it's really what you want, rather than what you are trying to pretend you want, you should be on your way.

Also, it's important to find things to replace the time you would ordinarily spend getting high. This was stressed to me in various recovery type things I participated in but I've found it to be true. When I constantly have things to do and I'm on the go I think a lot less about using anything than if I'm just hanging around home doing jack shit.

Good luck, in any case!

[mikells43]

i quit opiates cause i was a fucking feind and every ounce of my bodily energy went twards getting, ussing, and finding ways and means of gettting more. if i had a bunch, i was worried about 2 days from then. if i didn't have any i was worried about how to get the next one. my morals were lost out there somewhere. i did really bad shit to really good people. it wasn't about money cause i had and have money so i can't say that. but u do gain a considerable amount for some odd reason once u stop. or go on bupe like myself. with bupe im normal, not depressed, able to function with daily tasks. and lifes good.

[Suboxstitute]

If you want to consider quitting (and I DO NOT want to start sounding like a big bupe advocate it has its pros and cons both) ....

I would at least consider sub. There is some science suggesting that bupe, while also controlling cravings and w/d symptoms can help depression in some people.

Some people - anecdotally and people I have met - say it bupe is the first thing that has helped their depression ... an unspected and welcome side effect.

So I'd look into this route, IF you want to try to quit. I was self-medicating with opiates for depression, and since bupe is an opiate (a very complicated one!) I found it does help.

Good luck. Do you research, tons of stuff out there from "this stuff is a godsend (naabt.org board) to "this stuff is the devil" (heroin-detox board is more like the latter.

Read and make your own decision. It's not like you can't go back and it is worth a try.

[HandMeSomeOpiates]

I've been thinking about quitting for a while too but as Limitless Euphoria said you must WANT to stop not want to want to stop. I don't guess I'm at that point yet but I know soon I will be or will be forced to. I'm going to be moving to Nashville, TN to go to school in July. My buddy lives there and has warned me "Dude, get off the opiates before you come down here because I'm gonna pre warn you that there are NO opiates down here". So come July I'm gonna have to be sober and honestly I'm actually excited about it. Excited about all that extra money I'm gonna have, all the women I will meet(MOST women hate drugs and as soon as they found out I used they were outta my life). Right now my DOC is just too accessable for me to quit. I need to be in a place where I know no one and no opiate hook up. There is heroin down in Nashville but I will never do that stuff, hate needles for one thing. I am not knocking anybody that does heroin I'm just saying if I ever did heroin I'm sure I'd REALLY be hooked then. I wish everyone trying to kick nothing but the best of luck. God Bless You ALL!

HMSO

[Saint]

Any decisions Chemikalz?