ever feel so hopeless?

[IgotThatBoy]

Yea well I know im not the only one who feels hopeless at times. Its like when im high i feel like this drug makes me who i am and allows me to function like a normal person without having to worry or have anxiety, it gives me energy and ill work and get shit done while not giving a flying fuck. ALso ill feel and say that im gonna get clean and i can do it making it seem liek a fucking breeze. Then bam im withdrawling trying to get clean, but i give in because its so bad and fail again.

I dunno though the sickness part of withdrawal isnt my problem. Its this feeling in my chest i get that i cant explain very well. I use ot think its cravings, but now i just think its a part of the withdrawal or soem anxiety issue or some shit. Actually im not in the best shape right now so i will explain this a lil bit better in a few hours of this feeling i get. (sorry if i sound like a fucking idiot)

But dam, im 19 years old, a herion addict. I been addicted to opiates since 15 or 16 i believe. I already have a crminal record and im real fucking lucky that im not in jail doing time. I should be doing 3 years right now plus i got something else a detective is trying to put on me, but actually wasnt me (im an accesary though). So i take this as a sign that i need to get myself clean, but im terribly hopeless right now at getting clean. I use to be such a good person now its like wtf am i? I dunno i feel like a little baby right now lol.

I will add to this sometime later because im not in the best shape right now. I need to get well.

[GoddessofRATs]

Sorry your feeling so bad. I think most of us here can relate to what you are feeling. Not exactly how you feel but we can understand. As addicts we have good days and bad days, and than we have to deal with w/d.

I wish there were some words of wisdom i could give you. I can't do that but i can listen, lend you an ear so to speak.

Sometimes it's like our DOC is part of our soul. Does that make sense?

Hang in there. If you need to vent, then go ahead and vent. I think we all have at some point.

GOR

[youwonhundred]

While it maybe ain't for the same reasons, I can relate completely to being depressed/feeling hopeless about shit. I won't go into it here, cause no one really wants to hear about it anyway, and I get depressed thinking about it, but no, you aren't by yourself. Just keep in mind though, that no matter how bad life gets, it will eventually get better. Or at least that's the lie I tell myself when I wake up in the morning.

[Suboxstitute]

I use to be such a good person now its like wtf am i? I dunno i feel like a little baby right now lol

HEY - you there! - this isn't going to help right now - but believe me, you are only 19 and if you want to... you can change your life totally around..... I know it's hard, but if you really want off the heroin, and you've tried cold turkey and wern't able to make it stick... do the research and look into bupe (suboxone/subutex).

It's just a thought; not right for everyone. But at 19, there are LOTS of years left. I'll let some of the other "oldies but goodies" chime in on this one. EVERYONE has something to contribute to this world. You just haven't had time to figure out completely what your contribution is going to be.. believe me.

And regarding bupe - it doesn't have to be a life long sentence - you can stay on it long enough (and then taper off verrrrrrrry slowly) and use the time to think through your life so far, get your shit together, and decide what to do next... and even start doing it.


You're worth something.

[WarmCyanide]

i know how you must feel. the cure is the disease and vice versa

[betmylife]

I hear you man, Im in your situation sorta, Im 24 but I feel the same.....I dont wanna quit, just get my usage under control......anyways, good luck.....go outta town for the week you kick, or check into detox...thats my next step if this doesnt work...good luck man,



BML

[IgotThatBoy]

I am currently on suboxone on and off. I hate taking it though because i dont like how it makes me feel. Its just doesn't take my cravings away and it gives me really bad insomnia. I love getting high and everything, but when i dont have the money and im sick i get desperate and do what ever i gotta do to get my fix. I have a criminal record already and i know if i continue at this pace, ill be in jail within the next year. SO right now i promised myself to stay away from doing illegal activities to get money. I love getting high and i don't think i cant stop for good. SO right now im trying to find another job so i can chip at it here and there, save up some money, and keep myself busy. I am going to try and go to college starting in september to get my life back on track. I need to keep myself busy and working out helps me out a lot at the gym. SO thats my plan right now and im still gonna chip at it about 2 or 3 times a month. Well we all know how that goes and how it then becomes an everyday thing, but i know i can do it if im going to school, workin, hanging out with my old clean friends, and keeping myself busy.

Then i have my problem with my back which causes lots of pain for me almost everyday. SO that is also a problem because i really do need some kind of pain killer to at least make it bearable.

I feel so bad though because i hurt the people that care and love me so much like my mother and sister. To see them cry just makes me feel so bad. And my father isnt there for me. My parents are divorced. They do everything they can to help me and wonder why i still do the same shit that ive been doing after ive been arrested several times and i still dont learn. But im also greatful to have a loving mother and sister that care for me so much and a home to stay at and food. I've been kicked out a few times and lived on the street for a few weeks also. But then again they dont understand addiction and i try to explain it to them thats its one of the hardest thign to beat.

Of course im high right now so my view on things and how i feel changes.

Basically what im saying is I need to stay clean, work, go to college, start hanging with the old clean friends, and keep busy. Because if i dont, ill be in jail the way im going and i wont have a home to stay at anymore. Ill be living on the street. But then again, im thinking of finding a doctor that will prescribe me what i actually need for my back that will help and just go that route to keep my pain under control and then get high a few times a month from that.

Im real good at talking about what i want to do. Its a lot harder acutally doing it and staying clean.

I just still feel so hopeless right now about it. I've lost so much already. I've overdosed once on herion and once on cocaine (IV). I've had a gun to my head before a few times. I've been arrested a few times and only done a few days in jail. Ive also got lucky right now because i should be in jail. I only got lucky because my family knows the judge i went to and a few of the officers at the station i was at when i was arrested. Theres a lot of other things that i experienced and been thorugh that i dont want to talk about which is also a part of why i use to escape. I use drugs to escape sometimes, but then again i love getting high and i dotn think i can ever quit for good, but i need to control my use and cut down.

I just needed to rant earlier and get some things off my chest. I dont really have anybody to talk to about stuff like this except you guys here on opiophile.

[mikells43]

i am currently on bupe. i also work a recovery prog of my choice. if u would like some advice on how to do that, and what things to do to make ur life better so that ull be at least happy and comfy in ur own skin, i can share some of the things i did. what i did might not work for u but it has worked for millions. if u want the advice just pm me. if not then dont. its all up to u. it comes to a point where u ahve the power of choice over things in life. but it takes work to get there. and pain.

[mollywopped]

Does this sound familiar to anybody else?

Well, if you aren't that guy, don't worry so much. I am a little older than you and was in the same spot at your age. Just rememebr that you are only 19 and you can pretty much just start over right now. Get on bupe or even methadone if need be(I've tried both, methadone kills the cravings a lot better) and do what you have to do. It may take time and as addicts we are all about instant gratification, but you have to learn a little patience.

So if that's what you want, get off the dope, get in school and get a job. Slowly but surely things will get better. I thought I had ruined my life also, but then I realized how young I am. When people are 45 and have a wife and kids it is hard, if not impossible to start over. But you have none of that. You could totally start over and have your shit together and be doing well with in 6 months or a year.

[opi8fiend]

I agree mollywopped, I have tried both subs and done and done definately helps reduce the cravings along with helping daily functioning a substantial amount better than subs. I read above that you're only 19.....You have so much ahead of you, you can do this...My suggestion, get on done, get clean, and leave this as a lesson learned chapter in your life. Either way, good luck in whatever you do!!!

[EleusisII]

You're not a bad guy... Just a dude doing what it takes.
Try to take the guilt out of using. Yes, you use drugs, you're not perfect, you're human.

[JonnyMohawk]

You're not a bad guy... Just a dude doing what it takes.
Try to take the guilt out of using. Yes, you use drugs, you're not perfect, you're human.

Couldn't of said it better myself.

Most of us at some point know how you are feeling and trust me things will get better if you want them to.

No drug will ever be strong enough to override your own will power (except maybe fentanyl haha =] )

but seriously...

Best of luck to you from another opio youngan around yer age, if you ever want someone to talk to feel free to pm me.

[Raz]

Oh to be 19 again....I am 44 this year and have been to hell and back.But you can find your own happiness.I would advise tryin to lose the guilt....
There are loads of guys here much better equiped than me to give you advice, some using, some not.But the advice for the most part will be heartfelt and true. My 2 cents is; you have it all in front of you at 19 and if you get some help, which it looks like you need, you can make it back or go to where you want to be.The best bit of advice i can give you is, try and not surrender to your addiction.
When i did that my life got better. I realised that i could be an addict but still have a life without usin smack everyday.Methadone has helped me get there and given me stabillity and not a skinny ass junkie look.
I hope you get the help you need.Don't let that addiction consume you.It can get better, but you have to make the effort.Try and find your inner strength. I'm sure its there inside of you......
Be cool....Raz

[starglazer33]

you don't sound like an idiot to me u sound very insightful specially at your age. Please hang in there iv'e felt that way soooo many a times and stop blaming yourself so much and please stay away from guns no good ever comes from em. u are going to be better tthan fine i think . your just growing and sometimes it hurts inside. but expressing yourself makes u feel a lot better doesn't it? so express away man no judgements here. we've all done things were not proud of kinda goes w/ the territory.

so please hang in there and no more blaming yourself do some heavy breathin and meditating like yoga. it helps you to not think of everything all at once which is overwhelming,stay away from da gun and always write down how you feel and then breath and then read it and you;ll feel much better.
everyone needs to get things offf of their chest at times and i know it sure helps me ffeel better.
just wanna say i know how u feel and things ll get better believe me.
i gotta go i'll post again so please keep up the good work and just hang in there.

whole lotta love ................Sg33

[reddragon3668]

Tomorrow can seem like its a million miles away when your 19 and dope sick. It can get better, if you want it too. But, the cold hard truth is that it can get allot worse. Drug addiction can steal your soul, and have you sitting at a computer 20 years from now writing the same thing that your writing now.

Your nineteen, and you got allot of life ahead of you. You already have enough experience with the lifestyle to know where it leads, and where your headed if something doesn't change. Moments like this can be windows of opportunity, seasons of sanity where you have the choice to make constructive changes in your life. Don't miss it.

I can't tell you what all that means for you. There are allot of options out there, many have been mentioned here. Done, subs, ect. Its a difficult road, but you can do it. I wish you the best as you sort out your future. Noone says that you have to be drug free to be happy. Just try and find a way to be productive and make something out of your life. What I wouldn't give to have the opportunities that were mine at your age.

We're here for you, and don't hesitate to share your feelings. Many of us wish we had this kind of outlet and access to the wisdom of others who had faced the same problems when we were your age. Utilize every resource available to your benefit. Your not hopeless. Not by a long shot!

[starglazer33]

rea;;y looking out for you please post a thread or someting i wanna know your doing at the very least o,k. i may not be the besst person for advice but one thing is for sure i care took me while to find your profile( i despise minor details for some reason) but persistence and effort always win out over my intentions.

so where are you? are us okay? please theres a lot of others on here who can give better advice all i cna do is care and maybe make you laught a lil'


post script just thinking of you and how you doing sg33 POST A THREAD OF YOUR PROGRESS!PLEASE?

[LorTabitha]

I use to be such a good person now its like wtf am i?

This sentence really bothered me. Just because you're an addict doesn't mean you aren't/can't be a good person. Doing your best is all you can do and THAT makes you a good person. If your best isn't the same as someone else's best, too bad. Celebrate diversity and all that!! We all have something different to contribute to society/the universe.

I am starting to firmly believe that addiction to opiates is rooted in depression and we use the opiates to help with the depression. It works... for a while. Have you considered going to talk therapy and/or trying antidepressants/anti anxiety meds? It might be trading one drug for another, but maybe not. Either way, hang in there.:D

[turdkenedy]

Yea well I know im not the only one who feels hopeless at times. Its like when im high i feel like this drug makes me who i am and allows me to function like a normal person without having to worry or have anxiety, it gives me energy and ill work and get shit done while not giving a flying fuck. ALso ill feel and say that im gonna get clean and i can do it making it seem liek a fucking breeze. Then bam im withdrawling trying to get clean, but i give in because its so bad and fail again.

I dunno though the sickness part of withdrawal isnt my problem. Its this feeling in my chest i get that i cant explain very well. I use ot think its cravings, but now i just think its a part of the withdrawal or soem anxiety issue or some shit. Actually im not in the best shape right now so i will explain this a lil bit better in a few hours of this feeling i get. (sorry if i sound like a fucking idiot)

But dam, im 19 years old, a herion addict. I been addicted to opiates since 15 or 16 i believe. I already have a crminal record and im real fucking lucky that im not in jail doing time. I should be doing 3 years right now plus i got something else a detective is trying to put on me, but actually wasnt me (im an accesary though). So i take this as a sign that i need to get myself clean, but im terribly hopeless right now at getting clean. I use to be such a good person now its like wtf am i? I dunno i feel like a little baby right now lol.

I will add to this sometime later because im not in the best shape right now. I need to get well.
i am 20 and feel the same way as you. i have pretty bad anxiety disorder too... dope is the best for curing anxiety but sadly its very temporary and isnt a solution. without dope i think about killing myself and how i will never be able to do anything without having panic attacks, and with dope i am wasting all my money and am not healthy. having no hope sucks. im seeing yet another psycologist which is costing a shitload, and i KNOW he wont help me. i dont know what to do. i am so sad and lonely, and no one understands.

but be strong , and maybe theres hope for people like us

[SpecialGuy69]

Yeah I know exactly what you mean.

How many of you were told "your smart you can be anything you want to" when you were young? As stupid as the things we DO are, a disproportionate number of drug users have very high IQs. Look at RoboJunkie- the guy's a fuckin genius.

When I get that first wave of STRONG withdrawls, I get this rush of hopelessness, the feeling of KNOWING that I'm so fucking stuck. And its overpowering, almost knocks me down, when I have that realization. The thoughts are always there, in the back of my mind-
why can't I be normal?
why did I do this to myself?
what am I going to do?
am I going to die still addicted?
where would I be in life right now if I hadn't gotten myself hooked?
what the fuck is wrong with me?
why can't I just be like everyone else?

These thoughts fuckin hit me like I stepped out in front of an 18 wheeler going 80mph. It's shocking to me when I really put the denial aside and take honest stock of myself and my life. I'm so good at ignoring these things, putting them out of my head, denying that my addiction affects my life in negative ways- I have to- if I carried that shit around all the time front and center in my mind, I'd blow my fuckin head off! But every once in a while, that 18 wheeler comes barrelling down at me, hits me right in the chest, and doesn't even slow down. It's so depressing that its not even sad- to cry, to be sad, you have to have hope- but when your truly hopeless, its like a vacuum- just like true darkness is the absence of all light, true emptiness is the absence of all hope. A joyless vacuum.


The funny thing is, I'm not depressed- I don't cry, I don't feel sorry for myself, I don't mope around and pop paxil and prozac. I just put that shit out of my head and go on with my life. But those brief moments when it hits me are some of the lowest, most hopeless, most terrible, indescribably awful minutes of my life.


And now lets all pretend that never happened.

[IgotThatBoy]

hey just wanted to update and let everybody know how I am doing. Thank you all for posting and caring. It makes me feel a bit better knowing that i can come to this website and talk to others who feel the pain I do and are in the same postion with addiction.

So I've been doin alright staying out of trouble. I use to do what ever it takes to get my fix. Now I made a promise to myself to stay away from doing certain things. Im working right now. I do work on houses anything from flooring to plumbing to painting. This keeps me busy for a bit during the day. I've started back on my suboxone 3 days ago and havent used since. I havent had any cravings and I actually have some money saved up (which never happens but im sure you all know how that works). I don't plan to stay clean for to long probably just for a few weeks. I've gotten high for about 2 weeks then switch back to the suboxone before a few times so thats probably what i will do.

Im feeling a lot better since I started this post. I was really worried about myself because I just got out of jail that day and I'm going back to court monday so we will see how this shit turns out hopefully no jail time. I mean I love getting high, but I just need to control myself with what i do. Im going to continue to stay on the subs and switch back and forth here and there. Like i said im working now and making pretty decent money so I can actually make money legally now and get high without having to do the shit i do.

I do have problems with anxiety and depression which i have had also before i started using opiates. So my use is to get high and to take away that depression and anxiety/ to escape. I have gone to talk to a therapist a few times and I plan to keep going. It does help me out to express my feeling and stuff to someone and i really dont have anybody else to talk to about this stuff. Well i do have peopel to talk to, but they just really dont understand because they have never been there.

I have a back problem which causes me a lot of pain. I have had an x-ray, mri, bone scan, and i believe a cat skin done so i have proof that i have a legimate problem with my back. I plan to go to a doctor soon and hope i can get something to help with the pain. Im just so sick of dealing with the pain everyday and it also adds to me giving in and getting high again. I guess i just get so pressured at times with everythign that i just give right back in.

Anoybody have an advice for me what to say when i go to see the doctor? I've been prescribed vicoodin for my back and that doesn't do shit for me and now especially with my tolerance. (im prescribed suboxone so i dont get the vicodin anymore). This is a pain management doctor and he said he couldnt give me anythign stronger then vicodin (even before he found out i abuse opiates). DO i need to find a new doctor? or am i screwed since i have abused opiates and its on my medical record? if i find a new doctor will he be able to find out i abused opiates in the past or he wotn have acces to that?

[Sneaky]

trust me, I'm 19 and a heroin addict - I can get clean whenever I want it seems like, but I take a turn and end up down the same road I started, and it seems like a never-ending fucking cycle of life that you can't get out of

I'm extremely insightful about my life and I made a new years resolution this year to simply follow my heart for once in life - instead of following others and putting up with their shit, its time to start my own path and go where I want to go in life, not where someone else expects me to go


I'm trying to get clean myself, and I've been up and down, feeling good, then feeling depressed just cause I think about where I am in life and what I've done so far, and about the decisions I've made in life and how its changed who I am as a person for better or for worse



You seem pretty smart, so I don't really have any other advice to you except to ride it out, its life man, don't fucken stress it, don't be too hard on yourself, just accept yourself for who you are and what you've done in life - thats all you, and you're never going to get away from that - it'll always be part of you, but one thing you can do is CHANGE YOUR FUTURE - you are in control of what you do and where you go in life, its all in your hands - no one is ever hopeless, just some people never understand that change is within their grasp, some just need to reach harder and further to grasp it than others do

life isn't always easy, we all have out ups and downs, but life is life, and life will go on as long as you have the will to make it

[Xavier]

man god bless you kids, thats all i got to say. man just reading that brought out so much emotion in me because im only a few years older than you all but i too have severe anxiety and depression and for that same reason i think like somebody previosly posted is why the majority of us use, to kill the pain, to function normally. whether that pain is mental or physical. when i was 19 i was living on the streets of manhattan hustling boosting doing dope going to jail, constant cycle. i really too want to get clean for good but the truth is getting clean is the easy part and for a lot of us it seems like an endless cycle. i know i bitch about being on methadone everyday and constantly think about just walking off the program but truthfully i know i would end up going right back to dope and this is probally stability wise as good as its gonna get. but on the upside im gonna be starting up college again this semester and things are going relatively good. just keep hope you guys, if you have to stay on subs or meth or your doc dont beat yourself up about it. I know its hard and easier said than done but I think we all need to cut ourselves some slack.

[Saint]

Yeah I know exactly what you mean.

How many of you were told "your smart you can be anything you want to" when you were young? As stupid as the things we DO are, a disproportionate number of drug users have very high IQs. Look at RoboJunkie- the guy's a fuckin genius.

When I get that first wave of STRONG withdrawls, I get this rush of hopelessness, the feeling of KNOWING that I'm so fucking stuck. And its overpowering, almost knocks me down, when I have that realization. The thoughts are always there, in the back of my mind-
why can't I be normal?
why did I do this to myself?
what am I going to do?
am I going to die still addicted?
where would I be in life right now if I hadn't gotten myself hooked?
what the fuck is wrong with me?
why can't I just be like everyone else?

These thoughts fuckin hit me like I stepped out in front of an 18 wheeler going 80mph. It's shocking to me when I really put the denial aside and take honest stock of myself and my life. I'm so good at ignoring these things, putting them out of my head, denying that my addiction affects my life in negative ways- I have to- if I carried that shit around all the time front and center in my mind, I'd blow my fuckin head off! But every once in a while, that 18 wheeler comes barrelling down at me, hits me right in the chest, and doesn't even slow down. It's so depressing that its not even sad- to cry, to be sad, you have to have hope- but when your truly hopeless, its like a vacuum- just like true darkness is the absence of all light, true emptiness is the absence of all hope. A joyless vacuum.


The funny thing is, I'm not depressed- I don't cry, I don't feel sorry for myself, I don't mope around and pop paxil and prozac. I just put that shit out of my head and go on with my life. But those brief moments when it hits me are some of the lowest, most hopeless, most terrible, indescribably awful minutes of my life.


And now lets all pretend that never happened.

This is exactly how I feel. And like you I'm not really depressed either, just continue my life and every once in a while it hits me hard.. But I was 19 too once, and addicted for almost 4 years at the time. I did very well at school, graduated with a degree in Latin and Greek and went to University to study literature but I fucked up big time. Now I'm 40 and still on methadone.. and never finished University and feel like a losser.
So all I can say to the Op is: think about it, you can still change your life for the better. I wish I was still 19... I didn't have such a hard time kicking when I was about that age.. youth works wonders.. but somehow I always fucked up and relapsed again. And now it's 'suddenly' 20 years later.. So watch out, those years fly by and one day you wake up and think: 'what? Am I 40, am I really that fucking old? How on earth is that possible, I was only 28 yesterday?'
You still have a chance out of here so go for it.
Like Raz said: O just to be 19 again...

[SpecialGuy69]

How on earth is that possible, I was only 28 yesterday?'
You still have a chance out of here so go for it.
Like Raz said: O just to be 19 again...
its funny you say that. I'm 28 now. And I've been thinking a lot about getting a degree- either organic chem, law, or MBA (Master of Business)- it would be more productive than just maintaining a habit for the next 12 years... hmm... Your really making me think about doin it.

[SurfRat]

Nineteen years old is a difficult time no matter what is going on, much less when you have these kinds of intense things to deal with.

But have faith.

What many here are saying is true.

You have many many options and choices at your age to try and do different things.

Get out and go for it. You can always come back to dope, but you are only young once in your life.

[Raz]

Tomorrow can seem like its a million miles away when your 19 and dope sick. It can get better, if you want it too. But, the cold hard truth is that it can get allot worse. Drug addiction can steal your soul, and have you sitting at a computer 20 years from now writing the same thing that your writing now.

Your nineteen, and you got allot of life ahead of you. You already have enough experience with the lifestyle to know where it leads, and where your headed if something doesn't change. Moments like this can be windows of opportunity, seasons of sanity where you have the choice to make constructive changes in your life. Don't miss it.

I can't tell you what all that means for you. There are allot of options out there, many have been mentioned here. Done, subs, ect. Its a difficult road, but you can do it. I wish you the best as you sort out your future. Noone says that you have to be drug free to be happy. Just try and find a way to be productive and make something out of your life. What I wouldn't give to have the opportunities that were mine at your age.

We're here for you, and don't hesitate to share your feelings. Many of us wish we had this kind of outlet and access to the wisdom of others who had faced the same problems when we were your age. Utilize every resource available to your benefit. Your not hopeless. Not by a long shot!

I would listen to this.Its worthwhile and proper proper good advice.Dont become the guy who's still typin his drug struggle in 20yrs time.Because a lot of us here,on opi were you at one time.I am 44 and stiil typin my drug story.Dont succumb bro, dont succumb....Be cool.Raz

[ein0606]

jesus man, i turn 25 this week. im starting to feel old and have all the same thoughts. 19 is when my addiction ball realy starting fucking spinning. i wish i would have these guys here for the encouragement. maybe if i did and listened i woudlnt be typing this from my parents house in some yuppie ass community which i despise and counting the clock down till my dr appt for done tomorrow.

good luck man.

[limitless_euphoria]

I think at one time or another we've all experienced some level of despair.

There's so much I am ashamed of and so little to be proud of. Luckily, the handful of things I do have to be proud of are really legitimate and shame on me if I should forget them...

They are: My wife and kids, my health, my freedom (not being locked up in a looney bin or a prison), and being alive. The fact that I still am alive means there is hope that I could make some adjustments to my life and maybe find whatever it is that's calling to me out there that I seem to not be able to hear.

I once had this really awesome t-shirt that said "Life is a journey, not a guided tour," and it's SO true... goddamn, I think I have a new tagline for my sig.

P.S. IDK whatever happened to the t-shirt but there's so much truth in that one little statement. If all you do is sit around waiting for tomorrow and you don't make any effort to cease the day what do you expect will happen, ya know?

[Saint]

its funny you say that. I'm 28 now. And I've been thinking a lot about getting a degree- either organic chem, law, or MBA (Master of Business)- it would be more productive than just maintaining a habit for the next 12 years... hmm... Your really making me think about doin it.

Do it. Please do it.
It isn't even all that impossible to study while still ON dope (you'd need a lot of willpower though but if it wasn't for some major moneyproblems I probably would have finished my studies. I know from others that it can be done).
You'll be in your early thirties once you have that degree and you sure seem intelligent enough.
So go for it.
Wish I could turn back time..

[LorTabitha]

its funny you say that. I'm 28 now. And I've been thinking a lot about getting a degree- either organic chem, law, or MBA (Master of Business)- it would be more productive than just maintaining a habit for the next 12 years... hmm... Your really making me think about doin it.

Based on your fent posts, I think you definitely have a future in organic chemistry!! I come from a family of scientists (but I myself only took Chem 010 (not even 101!!) and stuck with biology courses) and I could barely follow your posts. You've got a talent there. Go for it! :)