URGENT! Piss test, etc. Help quick, please! ! !

[drug]

I’ll be damned… f**k f**k f**k…I need quick help. I got a big surprise- a drug test, tomorrow morning. And, yeah you got it, it’s a matter of life and death to pass it. I am going to pee tomorrow morning (01 am here now). I took my last shot like 10 hours ago. It’s going to be a lab test- my piss is going to be taken at a lab. Last time they let me make it it showed amphetamines, opies and cannabis… I know it might sound stupid, and probably I am fucked. But, anyway, is there any bleak chance I could fake it. I can’t take another guy’s piss. They will watch me while I pee. I think I’ve heard something about citric acid added to the piss that might do something …could it be possible?! I need quick help, any tip that might fuck it will save a life. It will ruin everything I managed to do for 3 months… Damn, I’m desperate and shaking like a fish (w/d already came ….) It was a fucking surprise… damn, damn, damn… please let me know if there’s a chance to pass this one.
Thank you.
A desperate junky.

[irish]

Who do you have to do this for?

[drug]

My parents. I need to do it. Obviously i lied i'm not taking. But i need to pass it so i keep my status quo. Have any tip?

[drugsaregood]

If i were you bro, I'd drink roughly a gallon of water before your test. Space it out within 2 hours. Becareful though, as you can get mad sick from drinking too much water, drink a shitload though...

When you pee in the cup, don't give the first part of the 'stream' or the last as this has the most metabolites...

It's better to get a DILLUTE than a DIRTY. It will buy you time you desperately need. This is pretty much the only proven way to pass a test, unless you can get a fake dick and don't get watched (Which is unlikely since it's being sent to a lab, etc)...

Best of luck 'bro.

[drugsaregood]

Life and death my ass! Just playin'...But man, atleast your not on paper..

My parents. I need to do it. Obviously i lied i'm not taking. But i need to pass it so i keep my status quo. Have any tip?

[greenfox]

I’ll be damned… f**k f**k f**k…I need quick help. I got a big surprise- a drug test, tomorrow morning. And, yeah you got it, it’s a matter of life and death to pass it. I am going to pee tomorrow morning (01 am here now). I took my last shot like 10 hours ago. It’s going to be a lab test- my piss is going to be taken at a lab. Last time they let me make it it showed amphetamines, opies and cannabis… I know it might sound stupid, and probably I am fucked. But, anyway, is there any bleak chance I could fake it. I can’t take another guy’s piss. They will watch me while I pee. I think I’ve heard something about citric acid added to the piss that might do something …could it be possible?! I need quick help, any tip that might fuck it will save a life. It will ruin everything I managed to do for 3 months… Damn, I’m desperate and shaking like a fish (w/d already came ….) It was a fucking surprise… damn, damn, damn… please let me know if there’s a chance to pass this one.
Thank you.
A desperate junky.

Uhh.. I'd say you're fucked. Erowid (my most trusted source) says with H: 2-4 days, 4 if you're a junkie.

The best bet? Water your shit down as much as possible with... water.

Cranberry and Niacin (sp?) doesn't hurt.

And also: try to catch the piss "mid stream" - it's a PROVEN FACT that your metabolites (sp?) collect at the beginning and END of your piss stream. I've used this before, personally, when I was on probation.

Your only chance?!?

1) SHIT LOADS of water (i'm talking in EXCESS of 4 liters w/in 10 hours BEFORE the test,)
2) cranberry and Niacin helps- a LOT
3) CATCH YOUR PISS IN MID STREAM!!!

The less "yellow" the better.

And try to catch it in MID STREAM *AND* give the ABSOLUTE MINIMUM you need to give!!! If they call you back in for a retest, that's FINE- you at least TOOK IT, you didn't FAKE IT... and it will give you at LEAST an extra 24 hours to get yourself clean.

PS- I KNOW "CLEAR CHOICE GREEN CLEAN" works VERY VERY well... FOR WEED. I don't know of ANY PRODUCT on the market that clears opiates. Cuz' weed is dif.- it stores in the FAT whereas almost every other drug alkaloid stores in the blood/urine...

So... :( It's a tough one. The best bet is lots of cranberry juice, Niacin (gives it "the color" and takes away alkoloiadal metabolites,) and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of water. you can't go wrong with drinking ANOTHER glass.

Like I said, most places, WORST CASE - they will call you back in to "re test' - as long as you didn't INTENTIONALLY and NOTICEABLY fake the FIRST test, you'll have the extra day- and according to Erowid, that's quite enough to get yourself straight. I'm not talking out my ass, here. Opiates leave the body FAIRLY QUICKLY but you gotta help it along. Good luck!

Peace.

sig,fik,
-=gf

[greenfox]

oh shit I just read the reply.. for your PARENTS?!?!?!

I thought this was lock-up.

Dude, no disrespect, but parents aren't LIFE OR DEATH- your parents don't have the legal authority to INCARCERATE you. WOW, I thought you were on MY page... oh well.. you'll be fine either way. Worst case, you'll have some drama. big deal. At least you won't be sharing your asshole with a guy named "Craig". Peace

sig,fik,
-=gf

[drug]

Any hope in that 'add citric acid in the pee' method?!

[drugsaregood]

Haha, I beat both of your posts. :P

As far as parents not being able to lock you up, that's not entirely true..Depending on the state you can get marchman acted...Forced rehab...Sigh.


oh shit I just read the reply.. for your PARENTS?!?!?!

I thought this was lock-up.

Dude, no disrespect, but parents aren't LIFE OR DEATH- your parents don't have the legal authority to INCARCERATE you. WOW, I thought you were on MY page... oh well.. you'll be fine either way. Worst case, you'll have some drama. big deal. At least you won't be sharing your asshole with a guy named "Craig". Peace

sig,fik,
-=gf

[Mustelid]

Yeah, good advice up there, lots of water, until you piss clear, then take a mega vitamin b-complex to put the color back into your urine, so that way you might not even be marked as dilute.

[GoddessofRATs]

Be careful with the water. You can get very sick drinking to much water or even death with doing that. I know you need to drink a lot but be careful If you start feeling strange STOP! A woman died a few months ago drinking to much water. Remember that radio contest?

Just be careful and GOOD LUCK with your test.

Oh yea... so what are your parents going to do if you are positive? Kick you out? Take your car away? How old are you?????

GOR

[I-Nod]

You could try unscented bleach crystals (grind it down to a finer powder), but it throws the pH outside of the normal body range. It'll be apparent that you tampered w/ your specimen... but you just want to buy some time, don't ya?

Or, you could play dumb and shit in the cup? "Oh... you just said you needed a 'sample'..."

As a last resort... give your parents the guilt-trip! "I can't believe you guys don't trust me!!" heh... sorry. Shit though, I'd be doing any & everything possible, seriously!

Good luck and update... if you can and all.

[mikells43]

theres allways the q-tip dipped in bleach then let it dry. put it in ur pocket and then piss on it , it might help too. if u want to pay alot of money u could get something sent to u. go to a head shop? . how much money do ur parents pay for a lab test? they must be fucking assholes if they make u pissin a cup cause ovbously ur not going to stop using and theres nothing they can do about it. i love parents that think they can change u. it makes me laugh all the money that is spent trying to do that when in the end its up to the person to change.

next time go to www.rapiddrugdetection.com (http://www.rapiddrugdetection.com) and get ur own ammo so u kno whats up. thats the cheapest place!

[jackjohnson]

Or, you could play dumb and shit in the cup? "Oh... you just said you needed a 'sample'..."



ROFLMFAO. easiest way ive ever heard of to pass a piss test. just SHIT IN THE CUP. LMFAOL MFAO HAHAH OMFG dude im fuckin crying

[GOLD N DIEMONDS]

Or, you could play dumb and shit in the cup? "Oh... you just said you needed a 'sample'..."
.

LMAO. I-Nod ,I love reading your post! BUT THIS IS A CLASSIC
i just keep picturing handing them a cup full of shit and walking(running) out the door:D
Thanks for the laughs

OP - just man up now and tell your parents you aren't going to pass because you are an addict. The probably know anyways. Parents aren't as dumb as you think, and you aren't as smart as you think,sorry. Ask them for help getting on subs or something, it probably would go a lot better for you this way then to waste everyone time and money and taking a LAB test (strict) and failing it. Then you look 100X worst and they won't believe a word you say. You already going into WDs? You are going to feel twice as shitty by the time the test rolls around. Man up , fuck the test, get on subs. At least you can stay well until the sub program starts and avoid WDs

[mikells43]

ive heard viniger too, distilled viniger, who could drink that. i can't even eat salt n viniger chips!



best of luck. and like i siad if u want a good deal on piss tests www.rapiddrugdection.com (http://www.rapiddrugdection.com) spelling isn't right cause im a dumbass tho. google it.

[Mcdom]

Well - if you are going to try shitting in the cup (that is hilarious by the way) - make sure you have very loose stools so the piss and shit all run together in one big cascade of liquid right into and all over the sample cup. Ought to at least contaminate the thing.

Might take a bit of stretching for a male but might work pretty well for a female.

And then vomit after your done too. All over the piss sample staff.

[9177]

Flush with LOTS of water and cranberry juice.
If you don't mind me asking, why in the hell
are your parents giving you the ol' whiz quiz????:confused::confused::mad:

[irish]

Cut yourself and add about 10 drops of blood to the sample. Everyone will be so concerned about why there is so much blood in your piss that they won't care about the dope.:D:D

[JunkYardSaint]

I usually keep a medical bag of clean pee in my freezer with medical tubing. Sort of a pouch like bag made of sterile plastic that's easy to conceal. If I get a surprise piss test, I warm it with hot water, then keep it warm in my pants with those hand warmers you get at camping supply stores. I have the tube right by my pecker, and pull out the tube instead of my penis to piss. I've not had to divulge my methadone patient status nor worry about anything else that might be in my system. I bought the urine online, there are sources for synthetic and human urine, though lately it seems to be all synthetic. I'll probably be forced to use the synthetic next time, but since it's the same that they use to calibrate the testing equipment with I've been assured of it's reliablity. In the past I've used the human, which creeped me out a little but hey it's the difference between job or no job. Just my two cents.