Caught Red Handed - Happy Mlk Day!

[Zoop]

'Sup y'all?

I just though that I'd relate an experience I had over the weekend, on Saturday (it's Monday now. Happy Martin Luther King day, BTW. He was a truly great man - he'd be very unpopular today if he came along making speeches like he did back in the day, because he used so much religious imagery. He was devoutly religious and that was the primary motivation for his mission to get equal rights for black people. The secular, atheist, left-leaning crowd of these days would smear him as a religious bigot, most likely, if he were around today sayin' what he said back then! - but I digress, please forgive me).

I went to see me sub doc Saturday afternoon. He is pretty cool. A Chinese dude. He gives me subutex instead of suboxone, which I appreciate a lot because the suboxone tastes absolutely awful to me - gives me heartburn. I think they put citric acid in it just like they do in soft drinks and koolaid and tang and stuff like that to give it that tangy sweet orangy taste - ugh! Suboxone also doesn't seem to be as strong to me either.

This doctor is also way cool because he gives me ambien every time I see him. I know I shouldn't be taking it, because I always abuse it, but I just can't say no when he says, "do you need some more ambien?" Well, this time was no different, except he gave me 20 tablets (10mg) with 3 refills. I got the scripts for ambien and subutex filled. At the pharmacy where I get the ambi's filled (a grocery store where they don't know I am on subutex too) I also bought 2 of those nice detacheable needle 3ml syringes that are so great for breaking down pills.

When I got home, the wife went out to buy groceries for the week. I promptly got out my works and two ambi's to bang. I banged them. Wow. It gets you soooo loaded. Like slamming a case of beer in 10 seconds. she called from the grocery store to ask about something on the shopping list and all I could manage was "uh, uh, uh, ummmm." She though I was fucked up then. When she came home, I was better, b/c ambien wears off real fast.

Well, I kept on banging two ambien tablets every 30 minutes or so throughout the rest of the afternoon, until about 6:30pm, when I was in my kid's room, playing with him in my totally blasted stated, and the ol' lady walks in, and what falls out of my pajama pants pocket? A bloody (I mean, literally, bloody) syringe! She hit the roof! I should've hid it! So, now, I'm in the dog house. I am supposed to be in recovery. Maybe now I will freaking straighten out. Things will get better, I know. I feel really bad and I need to stop shooting this ambien stuff. Puts me in a TOTAL BLACKOUT every time too. fuck.

Thanks for letting me share.

[Coddfish]

Tough times.
Buck up, champ; things could always be worse.
If you're better off a month from now, then it isn't so bad.

[skeletontea]

Damn Zoop, I'm sorry to hear about that. I didn't see this listed, but I'm guessing she knows you were shooting sleeping pills rather than opiates (maybe it doesn't make a difference to her, I don't know your situation.) I hope this doesn't ruin the relationships with your wife and child. Assuming it works out with your family, maybe this will be for the best, perhaps the push you need to stop using sedative/hypnotics that way (as you'd stated that you feel you need to stop).

I have prescriptions for both ambien (zolpidem), and lunesta (eszopiclone), and I end up running through them both about halfway into the month. I've never shot them, I usually just take a moderate to high dosage orally. Nonetheless I know what you mean about blacking out on them. I've done some pretty strange things that I don't remember when I've taken sedative/hypnotics. Does your kid understand what the needle falling out of your pocket indicated? I hope not. As far as my relatives know, I'd smoked pot a couple of times in high school, and that's it. I'd likely be disowned by my family if they knew what I've done (and continue to do.) A cousin of mine is suspicious of my gardening activities (his mom is a recovering heroin addict, so he knows about opiates.)

I sincerely hope things work out for the best in your situation, good luck Zoop.

[Zoop]

Thanks, you guys. You're allright. I don't care what they say about you.:p

Today, I feel o.k. Thank God I still have my bupe. I'd end up in a mental hospital if it wasn't for that.

To answer the question, no my kid doesn't know what a needle is for. He is almost three years old, so that's fortunate.

The old lady will likely simmer down in about a month, if what happened in the past, a while ago, is any indication.

I gotta stop shooting that stuff, it's worse than any opiate I've ever shot up. Never blacked out on an opiate. It's funny that you said something about you hope she knows it wasn't an opiate, b/c she said something like that - she goes "I thought you were on that medicine that blocks the high from narcotics" Then I explained that it wasn't really a narcotic, per se, but sleeping pills. sigh.

keep it real, dawgs.

(isn't that ridiculous?)

[opiobsessed]

Gosh Zoop, hope things work out, I was in the same boat back last year when my mom found out I ordered 120 more vicodin online. It was quite a disaster. Long story short I was on 4mg suboxone back then and it was of course easier to go into wd so I could switch to vicodin. Well I was already in wd and had just got out of a one day surgery for my colon problem. I couldn't wait to get my vicodin, well of all things something came up and the pharmacy called my number the mainline number, oh shit I thought, my mom answered that morning and I just barely heard something like "oh he doesn't need that stuff anymore" I instantly shot out of bed when she went in another room and looked on the id and sure enough it was a call from the state that I ordered online from. I set up a recorder and when I went out the day that happened she was telling my brother to call them and have the shipment sent to our house rather than held at the fed ex for pickup like I had done. The next morning the doorbell rang and she intercepted my package and all I could do was sit there in horror as she flushed my best friend all 120 of him down the toilet. She is real understanding and knows of course how I just want to get buzzed because all the disaster I've gone through in life but said, either I stay on suboxone or I get kicked out. Lucky for me I saw my sub doctor that day and got a script again and took the sub and then the wd went away. Thank god for sub at least.

[Wildman]

Damn Zoop, that sux. Hope the storm at home blows over quickly.

Wildman

[exitwound]

Gosh Zoop, hope things work out, I was in the same boat back last year when my mom found out I ordered 120 more vicodin online. It was quite a disaster. Long story short I was on 4mg suboxone back then and it was of course easier to go into wd so I could switch to vicodin. Well I was already in wd and had just got out of a one day surgery for my colon problem. I couldn't wait to get my vicodin, well of all things something came up and the pharmacy called my number the mainline number, oh shit I thought, my mom answered that morning and I just barely heard something like "oh he doesn't need that stuff anymore" I instantly shot out of bed when she went in another room and looked on the id and sure enough it was a call from the state that I ordered online from. I set up a recorder and when I went out the day that happened she was telling my brother to call them and have the shipment sent to our house rather than held at the fed ex for pickup like I had done. The next morning the doorbell rang and she intercepted my package and all I could do was sit there in horror as she flushed my best friend all 120 of him down the toilet. She is real understanding and knows of course how I just want to get buzzed because all the disaster I've gone through in life but said, either I stay on suboxone or I get kicked out. Lucky for me I saw my sub doctor that day and got a script again and took the sub and then the wd went away. Thank god for sub at least.

Jeeeeeezus, that sucks. The sheer ignorance and insanity that goes on when it comes to opiates and people who don't understand them -- nor what it's like to be in sustained severe pain -- just horrifies me. Granted I'm a chronic pain sufferer and not a recreational user but the line between the two becomes very faint when situations like yours are introduced.

What a mess :(

[SomniGod]

Sorry to hear it homie..... SWIM was 'caught' this weekend too....by family...and earlier this week...man are they getting tired of him....but he gets tired of their bullshit too.....I mean, let's not run these 'holier than thou' rants on us just cuz their bullshit in life is legal....man... I don't think this is going anywhere... any way, I just burned a nug from something I left myself before going home for X-mas!!! man... I fully forgot that I left a fatty nug!! It was the BEST surprise to come home to! (well, I can think of better, but this was good).


2XDUECE,


~S~

[exitwound]

Sorry to hear it homie..... SWIM was 'caught' this weekend too....by family...and earlier this week...man are they getting tired of him....but he gets tired of their bullshit too.....I mean, let's not run these 'holier than thou' rants on us just cuz their bullshit in life is legal....man... I don't think this is going anywhere... any way, I just burned a nug from something I left myself before going home for X-mas!!! man... I fully forgot that I left a fatty nug!! It was the BEST surprise to come home to! (well, I can think of better, but this was good).


2XDUECE,


~S~

Amen, SG. I'm so tired of people who don't know diddly shit about drugs/opiates/pharmacology or much else for that matter, passing judgement on things they don't understand. Whether it's the drugs, or in my case, the chronic pain that makes them necessary regardless of what I want....people who don't know what they're talking about need to STFU.

None of us should have to deal with this bullshit that comes from politically motivated, unscientific and utterly compassion-less laws and propaganda....

Don't let it get to you, Somni. We'll always be here to remind you that those of us who understand, respect you and appreciate all that you've done for the community. Not to mention, I personally think you're a much more responsible and reasonable person than those "family members" give you credit for. The real problem here is the prohibition and the ignorance that goes with it -- not us, and not the drugs.

[candy]

Zoop,
Scary about the black outs. Be real careful.
I myself have never injected Ambien, but others have stated it has a nice affect.
Just remember that injecting pills can be dangerous, so be cautious. Not only can they cause inflammation to veins and surrounding tissues, but can lead to abscesses. The very worst, injecting pills can lead to what is called an emboli. This can cause life threatening respiratory problems.
I realize that injecting pills can have a great affect and often times it the only form of drug available. If you should develop any problems, have it treated right away.

I'm sure your wife will come around.
My guy is so naive to the whole scene, it is almost scary. He's a great guy, but just never got into drugs. Says he never really had a good experience when he tried in high school. I could probably get away with just about anything. Sounds like your wife has been through this with you before. Maybe knowing your not shooting dope will ease her mind somewhat, but it may just be the fact that your injecting at all that has her upset.

Good luck

[poppy]

Zoop sorry to hear of your relationship problems. I'm sure time will heal things, as it usually does. I just thought I'd say that even though both me and my boyfriend are heroin addicts who are on a pretty high methadone maintainence script, we still have plenty of arguments which are gear related. Granted the arguments are over different issues to yours but they result in trouble and strife just the same. I guess the simple fact is an opiate addiction is a sort of relationship in itself often one that is put before all others. Something most of us don't like admitting to.
At the moment my partner and I are in danger of losing our methadone scripts because of persistantly dirty tests (I know that's fair enough when there are massive waiting lists full of people who will take giving up gear seriously and not use on top of their scripts......) so why is it that when we are both supposed to have not used any heroin is my test clean and his dirty.......I've reluctantly given him the benefit of the doubt this time! He's blaming it on a wash he had the first morning we stopped using gear and I can't remember as we had amps that day! Anyway he's being punished enough because if his oral swab comes back positive (which I can't see how the piss test can be positive and the oral swab negative?!!) his amps will be swapped for oral methadone. The fact my test was clean may help him with this because in the past our results have always been the same.
Anyway we've got another test this monday so the not using regime contines. But its still bugging me. I keep finding myself doing pupil checks and making sure he's not gouging. Yes life is certainly more a bowl of toenails than a bowl of cherries without gear. Never mind at least we've got amps tomorrow, my first hit of anything for a whole week, so things are looking up. I can't wait Laters Poppyx
PS joking aside I'm proud of myself for managing on my script and hope I can continue. Although already I've got that familiar voice in my head that's telling me that I could be disciplined enought to use just once a week, which of course in reality unfortunately I can't.

[Zoop]

Hey Poppy, what's "amps?," is that ampoules of injectable methadone? That's pretty nice if it is. Can't believe you'd waste your money on H if you get that! I LOVE methadone, and would pay good money to get on a methadone script the way I'm on buprenorphine...

I predict that before too long, we'll be able to do that in the United States. Take-home methadone scripts. I mean, if you can use one opiate that way, buprenorphine, I mean, why shouldn't you be able to do it with another opiate, granted methadone is way stronger than bupe but the principle is the same.

So, anyway, what's "amps?" Do you have to pay for it or is it totally courtesy of the British taxpayers?

You are very fortunate and should be grateful. Don't get all geared up if you got dope already!

[exitwound]

Amps = Ampoules, I think.

[poppy]

Sorry for not clarifying what I meant by amp. Yes you are right amps are injectable 'ampoules' of methadone which are prescribed totally free thanks to the good old British tax payer.(only joking about that last bit, my boyfriend works but because we've got 2 kids we get certain social security benefits including free prescriptions, we're not social security scroungers!!!)
Anyway in case u were wondering not many people are prescribed amps (at least in my town), and those who are tend to have had their scripts for a long time (my boyfriend's had his meth script for the best part of 20 years)
We both love our gear much more than meth even when it is injectable, and it amazes me that u prefer meth somehow it never seems to stop our cravings for heroin! However in the face of losing them I think we've realized how lucky we are (especially since I've learned how much harder it is for you guys in the US to even get basics such as clean needles etc).
Today we both felt the amps much more than we usually do, presumably because we've not been doing any gear. I think I read somewhere that there's some sort of blocker in the meth which stops the gear working as well and vice a versa? Whatever the reason we both felt like we'd actually had a hit of an opiate! Fingers crossed its not the last time and my partner's clean test this monday will convince the clinic to let him keep them.
Do none of u lot who r on meth scripts in the us get to take your medication home with u then. I started off on daily pick up but I've always been allowed to take it home. I now pick up twice a week.

[Zoop]

Hmm. So that's it.

We can get needles, it's not THAT bad. You just gotta pretend you have diabetes or a sick animal or something. If you come out and say, "I think I want to shoot some drugs" then no, you can't get needles in most places that way..

That's a pretty nice deal, then, injectable methadone.

[exitwound]

Never had the chance to sample methadone myself. Although that might change if I'm lucky, apparently someone down south closer to civilization might be willing to toss me a couple for sampling purposes to see if they work well with my other meds (mscontin 180mg/day, PT+hydro). We'll see if he comes through or not, though..... :confused: :(

[Coddfish]

I used to do dope and meth at the same time with poor results, but didn't know that they were poor until quit shooting up. The interaction between the two leaves a gnawing feeling that leaves one looking for something more. Give up the dope for a week and things will probably improve dramatically, especially if you are in danger of losing scripts. I wonder if injectible meth comes with a rush? The only time I was able to inject it--which ocurred many years ago--it came on essentially the same as when taken orally (of course, that was oral done and not 'amps'). That blew.

[poppy]

Hmm. So that's it.

We can get needles, it's not THAT bad. You just gotta pretend you have diabetes or a sick animal or something. If you come out and say, "I think I want to shoot some drugs" then no, you can't get needles in most places that way..

That's a pretty nice deal, then, injectable methadone.

That's what I mean here we can go into a chemist/needle exchange and say 'I want to shoot some drugs' and they'll give u everything u require for a hit except the gear and a flame to cook it up with! ie. a choice between all in one insulin syringes, or separate needles and barrels (various sizes) ,sinbins, swabs, citric or vitamin c in sachets, steri-cups (weird disposible spoons), filters etc. (oh and I nearly forgot, a condom with every pick up!! whether u want one or not!;) )
However, I must point out it hasn't always been this way and I suspect things may well go backwards in terms or harm reduction instead of forward in the future. I remember the days of having to pretend u have a diabetic dog or that u need a syringe to get rid of the air bubbles in your newly wallpapered lounge!! :)
Like I said before I've only recently learned how lucky we are in the UK. Thanks to this site.
Laters Poppyx

[poppy]

"I wonder if injectible meth comes with a rush? The only time I was able to inject it--which ocurred many years ago--it came on essentially the same as when taken orally (of course, that was oral done and not 'amps'). That blew."__________________
Sorry Coddfish, I only just spotted your post. Yes injectable meth does come with a rush, but in my experience only if you do more than your daily prescribed dose in one go. Plus its quite different to a gear rush, but still nice, you get a kind of hospitally taste in your mouth, and then a warm creeping glow. I now know definitely that the amps (meth) work better if you're not using gear on top. I couldn't believe the difference it made. A pleasant surprize and our tests were clean so it looks like the amps have been saved after all!!!!!hooray!!!!!
Anyway a 50ml blast of amps on top of the 60ml of oral meth was wicked, it really was, it just goes to show, that my preconceptions regarding meth and getting a buzz were wrong.There's been many a time when we've injected 100ml of amps in one go (by changing the barrel) and felt hardly anything when we've used them along side gear. We've now arranged to have weekly swab tests (rather than fortnightly) to try and keep us on the straight and narrow and therefore not using gear on top of the scripts! Laters Poppyx
PS I think it would be hard to get a buzz from injecting oral meth because you would need to inject so much of it, the amps are more concentrated so there's much less liquid.