Opiated Math ...

[Jocko]

I assume most everyone here can relate to this: Dumping the pill bottle contents on the bed, and doing the ol' count. It's OCD at its finest: counting the pills, knowing how many days left until refill time, averaging how many I can take each day. Hmmm ... less on Monday-Thursday, and then the ol' Friday, Saturday, Sunday. binge. I counted quite a few today - whew, that sense of relief - I have more than enough to last, and then a few extra. However, this very confidence, nay cockiness, can end up kicking my ass - allowing me to have too much freedom and possibly binge a few work nights. Suddenly, I'm running low a week before refills, and then I have to ration like a fucking soldier in a foxhole. I sometimes wonder if this ritual is all part of the draw ... one of the reasons I'm so captivated by this whole thing. But, I guess it doesn't matter right now - I popped a Tagamet at 4:30, and then took a healthy lil' dose of hydro (with a Soma) at 5:00. Now I sip a rum and coke ... listening to the iPod ... and smiling in this light, foggy, ease. All is well ...

[smojo]

Know it...Live it

A ritual..."Bitchual"

Least you CAN Ration, I don't quite exhibit THAT quality

[GoddessofRATs]

Sounds like your feeling rather nice.

And the pill count and counting back the days till refill time, i think myself and a lot of others here have done that or do that. I do it with my Trams but not my Ms contin and Roxis because i get them about the same time every month.

It's all part of the game and lifestyle I suppose

GOR

[NastyZilla]

AGREED! Sometimes I enjoy my refills a little too much when they come due, then around the third week... I start counting, multiplying, dividing, calendering... sucks. If I enjoy too much too early in the month, I'm gonna be uncomfortable and bitchy that last week.

Hmmm... if I could just coordinate my refills running out with my period, my husband would only be subjected to ONE week every month where I acted so sick and bitchy!:D

[smojo]

^^^Nailed that Right on Target!!!

[youwonhundred]

Shit, people, I count my pills at least once a day. Well, until I decided to let my mother in law hold em. I havent been ripped, wasted, or even very high, but it is nice to know I wont run out.

But how obsessive is it, when I would count them, then think i miscounted, so recount, and end up repeating that cycle a couple times till i realized I was insane.

[Slippin|Fallen]

Shit, people, I count my pills at least once a day. Well, until I decided to let my mother in law hold em. I havent been ripped, wasted, or even very high, but it is nice to know I wont run out.

But how obsessive is it, when I would count them, then think i miscounted, so recount, and end up repeating that cycle a couple times till i realized I was insane.


LMFAO

oh so true...


to the OP, nice title haha..

[Jocko]

It really DOES seem to add to the actual addiction, though. Even though it's a love-hate relationship (we love it when there's a high pill count, hate it when we're running low) ... there's a lot of OCD-like thinking involved. "Hmmmm ... I have 30 left and two weeks 'til the refill. Maybe I can go strictly maintenance on Monday-Thurs (say 2 a day), and then go NUTS Friday-Sunday." LOL - it's nice to have fellowship with kindred spirits on here - I doubt anyone else would understand this obsessiveness. I'm glad to be here. :)

[Inspektahdek]

AGREED! Sometimes I enjoy my refills a little too much when they come due, then around the third week... I start counting, multiplying, dividing, calendering... sucks. If I enjoy too much too early in the month, I'm gonna be uncomfortable and bitchy that last week.

Hmmm... if I could just coordinate my refills running out with my period, my husband would only be subjected to ONE week every month where I acted so sick and bitchy!:D


yea same here with the accuracy except my meds rarely last me more than a week. Then again, I don't get 30 day supplys at a time, I usually get 2 week supplies. But you're def right on all the craziness at the end and it does suck and I always overindulge, like well its fill day time to binge then I do it again the next day saying aww just one more day won't hurt, then the sickness comes and rears its ugly fuckin head and kicks me in the face..................several times.............lol was kicking monday through thursday of this week and it sucked, but not nearly as bad as my w/d before that, that was a 5-6 day withdrawal from fent and oxy, including the last 2-4mg of sub I had, so I had 2 huge w/ds and one minor long strung out one from bupe. It was hell until I got relief

[OrangeLude]

I think the pill counting & figuring out how many will last for how long...and for me, monitoring my daily usage in my Blackberry ;) are all just one facet of the 'mental obsession' ...
sometimes i call it inner dialogue or as many addiction treatment therapies refer to the obsession as 'the hijacked brain'
...
someone said it above ..its part of the game & it is a game that we play with our selves.
...
not to be taken in any way as a criticism of the opiate life, just an observation.

[Duckfeet]

I think I do it more in my head...just as delusional tho...I'll be, like: "O.K, I got 30 dilaudids, I'll just do 3 today, then 3 tomorrow, that leaves 14...then I'll do 2 on friday, and none on the weekend"..blah blah blah...I never stick to it, anyway: meaningless junky silliness, to me...in the end, if I want dope, I do dope, and I always run out...I can count pills from now til doomsday...there's never enough...

[SeVeN]

I think the pill counting & figuring out how many will last for how long...and for me, monitoring my daily usage in my Blackberry ;) are all just one facet of the 'mental obsession' ...
sometimes i call it inner dialogue or as many addiction treatment therapies refer to the obsession as 'the hijacked brain'
...
someone said it above ..its part of the game & it is a game that we play with our selves.
...
not to be taken in any way as a criticism of the opiate life, just an observation.





DEAD THREAD!

I think I do it more in my head...just as delusional tho...I'll be, like: "O.K, I got 30 dilaudids, I'll just do 3 today, then 3 tomorrow, that leaves 14...then I'll do 2 on friday, and none on the weekend"..blah blah blah...I never stick to it, anyway: meaningless junky silliness, to me...in the end, if I want dope, I do dope, and I always run out...I can count pills from now til doomsday...there's never enough...

LoL good math ducky. You must have been a great math student like me:rolleyes:. If u got 30 and do 3 today and 3 tommorow that leaves 24, not 14 ;). But at least the next day when you thought you had 14 and end up with ten extra thats one hell of a suprise. And a good excuse to up it from 3 a day, huh.

[Duckfeet]

Fuck! I'm missing ten dilaudids...I *knew* was getting shortchanged by somebody...I just didn't figure I'd burn myself...you can't trust a junky!
DEAD THREAD!
LoL good math ducky. You must have been a great math student like me:rolleyes:. If u got 30 and do 3 today and 3 tommorow that leaves 24, not 14 ;). But at least the next day when you thought you had 14 and end up with ten extra thats one hell of a suprise. And a good excuse to up it from 3 a day, huh.

[SeVeN]

Fuck! I'm missing ten dilaudids...I *knew* was getting shortchanged by somebody...I just didn't figure I'd burn myself...you can't trust a junky!

Nope you sure can't!

[Narkotikon]

I count everything. I count pods when I have them, I count pills. When I was on Subs, I'd routinely count each and ever pill about two or three times per day, and there wasn't even any danger of any of them going missing. The only other person ever here is my mom, and she certainly isn't going to take them. I'd count pills when I'd have them scripted. I'd also routinely / obsessively check the amount of ounces in the bottle when I had prescription cough syrups like Tussionex. You know how the side of the bottle has the little scale / measuring thing, showing ounces and millilitres? I'm surprised I don't count every damned poppy seed. I think part of it has to do with being a drug addict, and constantly running out, so you're always so worried that everything is there and not missing. And also, for me at least, having OCD.